Friday, 31 August 2007

Er...this is "England". Why would we not speak "English"?

Current mood:  happy

Well, today I get some mail from the government.  I'm supposed to add my name to the electoral roll.  (God only knows why - I'm too young to vote, and I've lost all faith in this bloomin' country and its stupid politics anyway ).  I tried my best to read it and show an interest for them anyway... However, I found this was rather hard.  It's probably just this area, due to the large numbers of immigrants settling here at the moment, so most of you won't believe me, but almost the entire leaflet was written in different foreign languages- Punjabi,  Hindi, Farsi, Polish...but not ONE WORD of English!  Except for a tiny note on the back, asking that you request an English leaflet should one be required.  Heck, what  is the UK coming to?  Not that I mind the different languages, of course, but when English has been completely written out, I start to get annoyed.
Almost un-successful on the pony hunt these last two days.  Yesterday we went to Hayling Island and Southsea.  There were no MLP's at the boot sale at Hayling, nor any plushies in the claw-grabbing machines at either location.  Then last night we ventured into TRU -  they now have Styling Starcatcher and Play 'n'Carry Sky Wishes, but I could afford neither.   I still don't have the Ponyville Sweet Shoppe, Teapot, or either of Lily Lightly's Bonus Ponies either.  There was no sign of the dress-up Pinkie Pie with book set, who was the pony I hoped to find there.  Tonight we went to three different branches of Asda in search of the "Favourite Friends" and "Scented Ponies" I've heard were on a BOGOF offer there, but they were all sold out.
However, I say "Almost un-successful" for a reason; we did find one new pony ~ a little Ponyville Chibi ~ for the collection...FLUTTERSHY!!!  I have wanted little Flutter for so long, and thought I was never going to find her, so that's cheered me up quite a lot.   
I'm desperately trying to restore the ponies that Bonnie sent to me, but I haven't got a clue when it comes to curling hair!  Tassles looks like she's been struck by lightning, and Whizzer's mane looks like a kind of tunnel in a bush that a slug has crawled through...   They're cleaning up pretty nicely though, so here's hoping I can manage to restore them properly!
I finished watching  the "Silver Wolf" movie this morning, and it's such a great story ~ I love it!  I really feel the need to go out and buy this now...but, horror, oh horror...it doesn't appear to be available on DVD!   I guess nobody knows of a shop that would sell a region 2/multi-region recording of this thing?  I'll practically pay the Earth for it!  The theme tune is going to be ringing through my ears all night now, and I must say, whatever Mum thinks of me, to have seen Shane in such a big role was brilliant for me.  I'm so used to seeing the small guest parts like "Man Of The House", "Stargate Atlantis" and "Unforgiven"...it's kind of weird for me to see this film now...   Thank you so much for lending it to me, Bonnie!  
Speaking of Mum vs. this DVD, it's pretty odd.  Almost as though she's latched on to it, and is using it as her latest way of getting at me.  One little DVD, and she says I'm obsessed with Shane Meier - already explained that before, so I won't go into details here.  She says I'm crazy to want to own the movie now - well, I decided I liked the film as a whole, not just one actor actually, mother.  She says I'm "bl**dy odd" for not telling her the name of the film - she never even expressed an interest before today, if I dare to mention it she taunts me like a little kid about "fancying" an actor and not being able to stop going on about him (But...but...but...she asked the question!!!), and I KNOW if I tell her the name of the film, she'll research it and tease me further.  *Sighs*  Why must my parents make life so difficult?
I would make a copy of this disc if it wasn't security locked.  (*Gasp*  Surely somebody "Obsessed" with Shane would want the box with his picture on it?! )  Dad says he'll see if he can upload it on his computer, and put it on a memory stick, but I don't fancy that idea really, for more reasons than one.  (Most of you will know what I'm talking about... )
Anyhow, I need to go to bed.  Mum's already complained about me having "Talk-itis" today, and I don't want to prove her right!
Best wishes,
Your talkitis-riddled Fluttershy-hugging mad girl,

Desiree  xxx

Wednesday, 29 August 2007

"Obsessive Shaun Whatsit Un-fan" to be aunt a fourth time!!!

Current mood:  amused

Excuse the long title.  This blog entry is jam-packed with my news of today!
So, as you know, we promised my nephew we'd take him to"Diggerland" tomorrow.  Well, this morning Emma rings up to say Allan is ill, and that we have to ring back at 9 o'clock tonight.  We did as we were told, and found out that poor little Allan is still too sick to come out with us.  He's so disappointed that we aren't taking him out, not for his own sake, but because he's been looking forward to seeing us again, and HE feels bad for disappointing US!  *Sighs*  Why does everybody have to get sick at the wrong time?
Emma has been feeling sick lately too, and we just found out why...I'm going to be an aunt AGAIN!  Yep, Emma is pregnant with her fourth child, and it's due in March.  Fingers crossed all will go well for her and the baby.  
In other news, my strange father brought Bonnie's parcel home this morning (Having slept rough in the car for no real reason other than to show off!  ), and I am so, so happy!  She sent me the MLP's her sisters and herself used to play with as a child for free!  There are seven of them in total - Up, Up and Away, Bonnie Bonnets, Whizzer, Tassles, Yum Yum, Dancing Butterflies and Sweet Stuff.  They are in a well-loved condition, but are cleaning up really nicely.  I'm in love with Yum Yum, who still has some pink in her hair and everything!   Thank you, Bonnie, if you're reading this!
She also leant me her "Silver Wolf" DVD - a film I've wanted to see for oh, so long, for reasons I'm sure you all know, dear reader.   But now I'm in absolute trouble.  My parents are so bloomin' odd, and I've got to keep this DVD away from them.  Mum knows I've got it, but she doesn't even know Shane Meier's name, and I try my best to stop their paths crossing, since Mum loves nothing more than to take the mickey out of me about stupid things and make me feel like an idiot.  The MLP voice artistes are one of her regular targets, so I try to keep them away from her as much as I can.
However, today I took too many risks. First off, I was playing a Youtube video of Sing & Dance Pinkie Pie, which Caroline had uploaded, when Mum walks into the room, and starts ranting about the nasty little squeaky voice on the end of the line.  "Bl**dy American accent!"  Er...it's Canadian actually.  Don't you want to point your venom in the right direction? AKA the "boring" country full of "arrogant" people?
So tonight, while she was on the phone to Emma, I put "Silver Wolf" on, and it's a really great film!  I only got about halfway through before the conversation was over, but I so want my own copy now!  There's no way I'll ever be allowed to buy one though, since Mum's already decided to be nasty.  I was supposedly "red in the face" when she came off the phone, and "obviously embarrassed" (Heck! Wound up listening to make sure she was still out of the room and trying to concentrate on a film too, more like!), and apparently, I'm "obsessed with Shaun-Whatsit".  Mother, leave me be, will you?  Is this your latest form of  attack?  And if so, at least learn Shane's name! You rather lose credibility otherwise.
But, goodness me, what a show.  I'm not obsessed!  Obsession is something I know very well - Dad's obsessed with some rather horrid things, but I am not obsessed over anything.  I'm a fan of many performers, but it's considered shocking if I say I'm anybody's fan.  But honestly, would being obsessed with an actor be that bad at my age?  All other teenage girls seem to be.  Mum's pretty hilarious actually!
And on that note I'm off to bed.  Maybe I'll have a hilarious dream, rather than a nasty nightmare for once. 
Your "obsessive" Shane Meier un-fan,
Desiree  xxx

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

Just a little gloomy song...

Current mood:  gloomy
 
My latest...er, "masterpiece".  (Not that kind, Liz, I promise! )  I don't know how many of you used to like the Cabbage Patch Kids?  My sister had a cassette tape all about them.  It was bought here in the UK back in the 80s, but it was recorded in New York, so I'm guessing it was available at least in the US too...
Anyhow, there's a song on it called "Get Back Home", and I absolutely love it!  I've written new lyrics to it, and also added a couple of versus for good measure to explain my entire messed-up life in one song!   I think it's a little better than the "What Good Will Wishing Do?" one I posted a few weeks back...at least, I hope it is!
Desiree: Here I stand, aged 16, Watching my life pass me by,
Teeth so ugly I dare not smile, All I can do is sob and cry.
Seems like yesterday I was a kid and dreamed, of freedom as a teen!
But now half of those years are gone too, and all remain unseen.
Desiree's Mystery E-Friend (Maybe one of the so-called "unsavoury ones"? ): My Little Skylark, I can guess how you feel,
Mystery E-Friend 2: I sense the pain deep inside you.
Mystery E-Friend: I see memories of dreams of voice acting,
Mystery E-Friend 2: Memories of dreams those dreams came true!
Mystery E-Friend: It's never too late to change a thing,
Mystery E-Friend 2: I just know I've witnessed stranger things.
Mystery E-Friend: We'd love to hear your story!
Mystery E-Friend 2: Perhaps we can help, see?
Both E-Friends: Sing us your sad life's melody!
Desiree: Well, OK if you really want me to...here goes...
I so wanted a simple thing - a bedroom once I reached ten! (Too much to ask, eh? )
But my father never got around to it, and life's just gone down since then!
No washing machine, no freezer for ice cream, No kitchen light nor my own bed,
No understanding friend to listen (Before now ), so the bitter thoughts remained in my head.
I care about my appearance, as any normal teenage girl would, But showing that's so's a no-go too!
"No make-up can you wear!", "It's your ratty hair and ugly teeth which make you, 'you'!"
You feel your looks slipping away, along with your self-esteem, "You'll only ever be pretty in your dreams!"
I'll be old and grey, Before I see the day, When I'm free to just be me, it seems!
I've "Fallen in love" taunt the parents of "Weird Land", saying someone I'll never meet and I could never be.
Did I miss the news being a fans of an actor was banned, Or does this ban apply to only me?
Then they wonder why I'm so afraid to tell them of my real goal?
Well, if you'll taunt me about what you can only think is a childish crush (Hey, we can all like actors for their talent, can't we? ), You'd take my dreams and swallow them whole!
Anyways don't tell me you don't know that I want to be a voice artiste,
While Mum makes constant rude jokes, I'm already low, before David even starts his sick old scores and lists!
And of course I know it could not be, I'd be "so selfish" to move away, you see?
I just wish someone, Would stop making fun, And see what's deep down inside me!
Oh, please don't let me waste any more years,
If I don't try to follow my dreams I'll soon be in even more tears!
I need to get some money, and be ON MY WAY (Bye-bye, mad people! ),
So I don't have to rely on those two,
I know with a little encouragement my dreams could come true!
With encouragement my dreams could all come true!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, my adoring public...  Now why isn't the curtain coming down.  Aah, I know.  I have to click the little "Preview & Post" button, don't I?!   *Click*

More trouble from the house of madness...

Current mood:  intimidated
In the UK, it never stops raining, right?
Wrong.  It's just very rarely that you run across a sunny day.  Today was one of those days!  Hooray!  I was promised a car boot sale, since today is also a Bank Holiday over here.  The last Bank Holiday was in May, and  it rained (Of course), so I didn't get to my favourite Epsom car boot - which only takes place four time a year - so I've been looking forward to it ever since.  It's always packed with ponies at cheap prices!!!
So yesterday Mum said she didn't want to go to a boot sale.   No worries,  I could still go with my horrible father, while she had a turn on the computer looking up family history... 
Following yesterday's argument, Dad wasn't allowed to sleep in the other house, and had to spend the night sleeping in the car in various service station car parks along the motorway. (Well, it's his own fault for not providing a bed for any of us!)  So he comes in at 7am (when the boot sale starts), and went in the bathroom for an hour apparently - I wasn't awake.  At 8am, he woke me up, so I got up to get washed and dressed.
Within minutes of entering the bathroom, I hear a commotion downstairs. It's my Mum screaming at David that he's "trying to leave her at home again" After all, he "didn't even speak to her when he came in".  She says she was awake, he says he didn't know. 
Next thing I know, her voice shouts up the stairs, "You're not f***ing going out, you little cow!"  Oh well, I think, can't be helped.  One day my situation will improve.  I stopped hurrying, and took my time coming downstairs.
Then I turned the TV on to look for a new MLP commercial instead of going to the car boot I'd been promised.  But I found all the kids shows are no longer on at Bank Holiday!
I eat my breakfast slowly, since I have a really DREADFUL cold at the moment, but am then told I "must go to the car boot." Mum "doesn't want to stop me".  So I dash to clean out Splodge, and call David downstairs.  An argument then ensues about how awful I am to be "going out and leaving her behind".  WTH?  Make your mind up, woman!  "Come with us to the boot sale!" I say.  "No", she answers firmly.  "There are more important things to do like clearing out the other house so that she can sell it and use the money for holidays.  Why do I want to bring more junk into the house anyway?". OK, I agree.  Let's go and clear out the other house. Anything fora quiet life.  No, that's not fair.  I've been promised a car boot.  This goes on for several minutes, and I only finally get in the car at about  9.30am!
I'm just moaning at David about how he shouldn't cause trouble by not speaking to my Mum, (he knows how she is when it comes to anyone going out without her, so he should at least offer her the chance) when I see something white glinting in the sun, heading towards the car. (Still parked in the front garden ~ David's only just set the engine running).  No, not a flying saucer, but a flying bowl!
It hits the door (mine) of the hire car with a thud! and smashes on impact, pieces scattering all around the garden. It appears to be coming from next door - the Polish drunkards must be throwing stuff at us, I think. Somewhat scary!  Then suddenly I hear a familiar voice at the front door...our OWN front door...screach "B*$t*rd!" and then the door slams and all is silent.
"Bad tempered b*tch!" My weird father rants, gets out of the car, picks up the pieces of bowl, inspects the damage to the car she's caused, and goes back inside, where the argument continued, all the time it getting later and later.  Basically, I'm "unloyal" to my Mum to go out with Dad, I'm "Playing into his hands, since he doesn't want to take her out" and "I don't care for her at all."  She's obviously "Dying of bowel cancer, but neither of us take any notice." All the time, I'm left standing in the hall with my purse, pedometer and lucky MLP necklace.  David then leaves the lounge, saying he's "Going to work".  Thank you, creep!  Embarrass me again, will you?  So anyhow, I forced him to take me to the car boot.  It was heartbreaking though. We got there at 11.30am, and by the time we'd finished walking around it was all  but packed up.  I found "A Prize-Winning Pony Game" for 20p with the pieces I'm missing from mine included, but apart from that nothing.
However, it was quite clear that there had been about fifteen seperate tables with ponies on (Obvious signs - empty boxes with pony accessories, McDonalds Ponies, and fakies inside etc.) and goodness knows how many others may have been there individually.  And worse still, after all this palava today, I doubt Epsom will be on the menu next Easter.   Nor any other car boots before or after then.
When I returned home, Mum was hardly speaking to me.  She's lumping me in with David, "not wanting her to come".  I didn't not want her to go.  I just wanted to get there early.  She says that "The little cow (me) won again", but I didn't, because I'd already missed the ponies by the time she let me go.   Crazy, crazy situation.
And while we were out, Mum snooped through David's computer "work" bag and found more unsavoury stuff...I won't go into details here, but there were internet print-outs and material in his own writing.   She's apparently scribbled all over everything, so I know we'll both (Yeah, he lumps me in with her too.  I'm not a real person with my own opinions to either of my parents. ) be in trouble when he finds out.
In brighter news, David is now at the office, and he says the parcel I was expecting from Bonnie has arrived.  Thank you, Bonnie!  I shall write to you as soon as I have it safely in my hands!   David is supposedly sleeping out all night (even though tonight's my night to share the bed with my mother again), so it may not be until tomorrow evening.
Ouch!  My lip is so sore with this  cold.  I couldn't help but laugh at the "flying bowl" joke while proof-reading this, and now stretching my lip seems to have made it worse. *Applies more Blistex* 
Anyhow, I'm off, although I will be posting my latest sad song in another blog in just a moment.  Then I'll be off to the communal bed, in the communal bedroom, which is ever so hot, since David won't let me open the windows in case wasps fly in...even at this time of night!
Best wishes,
Your resident "Uncaring little cow",
Desiree Skylark

Monday, 27 August 2007

An argument from the house of Desiree Skylark...

Current mood:  silly

Hello all, and sorry I've been away for so long.  I've been feeling really sick with a very bad cold and cough, and still feeling rather ill, but I just thought I'd better post a blog.  This is a really silly blog entry containing one of the common arguments between my parents regarding the house we're supposed to be moving to...
The wording might not be exactly right, because I rushed to take notes, and this cuts in to the argument about five minutes into it, but you should get the basic idea...
Blue = Mum and Red = Dad
You walk in a house, you don't know what you don't like about it...I don't know how anyone makes their mind up.  I walked into this house,and thought "Yuck" to the carpet.  Nasty, garish thing!That doesn't worry me.  I'll be able to change things like that.But you didn't!  I had to!Not in the timescale you wanted, maybe.  But I would have done... We just didn't have the money at that time.So I bought it myself.  It wouldn't have got done otherwise!  I mean, I hate the thugs and drunks, but I like the window looking out on to the street.  I feel like I'm in a box there and that's just in the front room - the best end.  She can't even have double glazing in her bedroom!
Why not?
The architect told you you can't have double glazing in that room!
You can have whatever you like!The window frame wouldn't suppport it, he said!
Get a new window frame then!

He said we couldn't get a new window frame.  The bathroom's rubbish too - it's too small, and there's no room for an airer or airing cupboard...Put an airer in the garden then!That'll be good when the weather is bad!  Then there's the problem of there being no space for a bath in the bathroom.  I'm more worried about that personally.What about the bath in the loft?What about it?  Well, the bath was going in "your" loft at what point!You won't go to the loft all the time!I don't have a bath all the time!Yeah, well that's one thing I thought you'd want to change!
Why do you change?  You say one thing and then say you didn't all the time...
PUT THE BATH IN THE LOFT - I DON'T CARE!!!
The bathroom is too small anyway.  There's no airing cupboard! In our house we have one downstairs.Yeah, but...
In Emma's house she has an airing cupboard outside the bathroom.  39's
(My grandparent's old house, that my Mum wanted to move into) bathroom was downstairs, and they had an airing cupboard behind one of the chairs. 
What's an airing cupboard anyway?
Well...
(Mum obviously feels flustered by Dad's stupidity by this point) ...One that's warm.Right. Well, there's one of them in the little bedroom.
Oh, but that's coming out!
WHY?To make way for a wardrobe.  I've got Ron's... (My uncle who left us the house)
Yeah,  I don't know what we're going to do with that one!  She (I) doesn't want it!Well, of course she doesn't!  It's too big, and she doesn't have many clothes.  (Er, I'm hoping to change that, Mother Dearest!) Then there are mine, which are cr*p...Yes...  (David nods his head in a sarcastic, knowing way)
But they were my mum and dad's...All right, all right, enough of that.  You want to make the other room into something else though, don't you?!Well, is the front of the house and nice and light!  Is it really bad to not want to only sleep in a big bright room?How many living rooms...LISTEN!  Just going up there to sleep in the biggest, brightest room in the house doesn't make sense to me.  Oh, yes, get a big, light room and then let's  only go up there to sleep!  (Mum's turn to be sarcastic)  We need more seats.  You have a 16-year-old sitting on the floor all day down there. What a waste to have a potential living room and just sleep in it.  I think it's a waste!
Then why do you want to look at the back garden, if you like the light at the front of the house?
I want several different places to sit for a change of scenery!  The house is the wrong way round!You can't be in both places at the same time!  That house is sh*t!Well, as you say, I wouldn't be moving at all if not for Ron...Not to Northfields.
Well, that's where she wants to go, and where I regret leaving.
Look, Jacqui, you'll get 80,000 quid probably.If I live in there?No, as long as we find somewhere else below 600,000 it should make no difference.It wouldn't be all clean with a new garden though.We're taking about 150,000... (David starts figuring out a sum)Yes...We wouldn't need an extension.  So that's 40,000.  No upstairs thing...What upstairs thing?The bl**dy loft, of course!I doubt you'd get a loft for that price!Four bedrooms normally includes a loft,  Jacqui!Not layed out like you want them, David!That doesn't matter.The houses in Northfields are built to be tiny.  The stairs are almost vertical against the walls!(David continues sum, ignoring Mum) No re-wiring... That's another 10,000.  It's the VAT that hits you.
What VAT?
You have to pay VAT on everything.  What I'm
asking is what the inheritance tax costs, and the estate agent will cost.  I need calculation for what living in that house will cost me, as opposed to buying another house in that area.I'm hoping there'll be no ineheritance tax.  Ah, right, now that's a point.  I need to ring...Who? 
The Inland Revenue.  I've got to go - my stomach's giving me hell today!  So no conversation...again!
Well, look, Jacqui!  Any charges he makes...
Who makes?
The solicitor.  Any charges should come out of the inheritance tax.  Say he says 5000; I would hope that would knock 2000 off your inheritance tax. 
He's got the deeds to the house, and the Noel's
(the nasty neighbours who nicked stuff from the house after Ron died) have some of our garden plot behind their fence.  That needs sorting out too.
Hmmm...
Then there's Ron's burial.  I know we paid them
(The funeral director) But you left it so long they want paying again!We have to check... (*Begins to mumble, in a typical David style...*)
Pardon?
...When that other place is open. 
(I'm still not sure what the "Other place" was myself, but they seemed to know what they were talking about!)I don't know when the other place is open.Nor do I.
So have you done the sum yet?!
Any way you do it you're going to get 80,000.What's the most I could spend on another house in Northfields and get the same amount of money?  You also need to think about what you need to do to the house when you get it.
I think we could afford to spend about 575,000
So I could buy one for 550,000 and still have the money to change all the carpets and  make it my own house?
I'd hope you'd have 50,000 more besides, Jacqui!  Say you get 450,000...you're going to have to pay them 67,000...say you get 440,000 to be on the safe side. If you get something for 560,000 that's 120,000 more. So that leaves you 25-30,000 to do the place up, and you still get...
How much in the bank? (Mum is impatient after David's long and confusing sum)
(Dad still attempts to dodge the subject) If I'm right we could get 270,000 for this house.  Who are you kidding, you great fat ugly man?  230,000 or 250,000 tops!(David ignores her, and continues) Say we've already spent 16,000 doing the place up to sell, we'll be left with 254,000...  SO HOW MUCH WILL I HAVE IN THE BANK?!?!?! (Mum is really angry now)About 75,000...  (Comes the rather sheepish reply from David)
B*gg*r.  No point looking at houses for one we like better then. Why not?  If you move there, you'll only get about 75,000So basically you've f***ed us up by moving here.  Either way, I'm not  going to get much money.   It will have to be Ron's house then - at least I know one lot of neighbours there.
But it's no good.  You won't live in the front of the house...  I want to live in the back but I suppose...
Listen!
  (David starts muttering again) If it's 450,000 you get...if you spend 150,000...you'll still get 75,000 whatever.
So I'm better off to have that house.
Yes.
I just thought we might get some ideas from looking at other houses.
You can always go to look at other houses anyway!
Yeah, we don't have to sell that one yet.  Just see what else is available. I don't mind The Ryde myself. 
There was a house for sale there not so long ago.Was there?  Yeah...How much?  I can't remember.  I also like Loveday Road.
Why?
T
hey have "four bedrooms" which usually means tiny little divided rooms in Northfields but the ones in Loveday Road are big!They're building some big ones...Who are?  Where?I don't know  Wimpy's or somebody.  They're building them somewhere in Northfields. (David's such an idiot!  At least know what you're going to say before you say it!)
Yeah, but they talk about four bedrooms, but they're not much more than Ron's "box room".  (I sigh, trying to keep up note-taking)  Look, she's hot and bothered.   She likes that house, but she's the only one! We're going round and round in circles,  Jacqui!Well, financially that house is best.  Plus we know couple neighbours, and there's an association against crime, which The Ryde isn't covered by, since it's Brentford.  That's why it's cheaper.Yeah, I know.
See, 39
(My Grandparent's old house) and Woodberry (Ron's house) are the easiest places to get in with the neighbours...
I'll give the architect a plan of the options you want, and we'll see what he can do...
Not much, I'd imagine.  The bathroom is too small, and you can't cut into her bedroom.  However, if you have the bath upstairs, you'll have room for shelving for your books and stuff, a cupboard for two...
I don't want my books in the bathroom!
 (Even though he reads in the bathroom!)  Anyway, if you don't have a bath, you'll have a shower, won't you?
I DON'T HAVE A SHOWER  IN MY HOUSE!!!  I don't use a shower, and neither does Desiree.
She might change...
She won't change!  (Er...thanks for putting words in my mouth, mother!  David glares at Mum, so she continues, hurriedly...) *Sighs*  All right, I'll have to have a shower in the bath like other normal human beings.  I hate showers.  They drip and I hate the smelly humidity.  Showers are horrid to clean.  It wouldn't affect you - you'd get out, and leave it for someone else to clean.  The only shower that's nice are those like ours.
I know, but I can't have a bl**dy bath upstairs.
You wanted a toilet upstairs before, not a bloomin' bath or shower!  Basically, you're making the loft your home, while I'm living in the cr*p place downstairs.
I'm not stopping you from using it or going up there!I don't want to use it or go up there!  What I'm asking, is who's going to CLEAN it!
Me, I would imagine.  Who clears the hair pair of you leave everywhere in the bathroom away now?
God knows! I don't leave hair everywhere, and as for who cleans, you certainly don't!
I said I cleaR, not that I cleaN!  Look, Jacqui, I've got to go! 
(David stands up, but Mum keeps talking to him, and keeps him in the lounge doorway)
Yeah, I'm sure.  Avoiding the discussion.  Can't we have a shorter bath or a "proper" shower in the loft?
Perhaps you could... Hmm...  I still don't see why you won't have a shower in the bathroom though!
In the upstairs bathroom, we need a toilet, basin, cupboards...we don't want a "smelly humidity shower"!!!I don't mind plastic sides for a shower.  What's your problem, Jacqui?!Glass and plastic aren't like tiles.  They get stains and smears and...ugh!Yes, but you need some plastic shower curtains there at least to stop the water splashing out.  You can still have your tiles elsewhere!Don't you ever understand me?  I hate damp plastic! You don't notice the dirt on tiles, especially if they're patterned!  But you see horrible dribbles and splashes all over clear stuff like glass and plastic.  And showers always make bathrooms steamy and horribly hot too.  Smelly humidity, as I said before!  That's what extractor fans are for!  To keep the bathroom...I hate plastic shower curtains too.  Washing them is horrible.  I've seen them in other people's houses and they smell terrible!
What?  You mean the actual curtains?  Yes.
Yeah, well, I prefer the fixed things myself.
I  like the one here, if only you'd ever got it working...
Yeah, but you can't have one of them there!
 (David walks out of room, avoiding the conversation and heading towards the bathroom with a book)
Right, goodbye!  (From Mum, sarcastically.  When she gets no answer she continues to shout up the stairs...)  You avoid sorting this situation out every time!  We weren't even on to discussing the carbunkle (extension on back of house)...
And so, once again, the argument draws to a close, with no further progress made.  And that, my  friends, is a typical day in the life at the Desiree Skylark's My Little Pony Rescue Home.
Best wishes,

Desiree  xxx 

Sunday, 19 August 2007

A review of Ely in record time!!!

Current mood:  giddy

I have to get up early tomorrow morning to go on another coach trip to Bath, but  I wanted to write a quick(ish) blog to cover the most exciting () event of the past few days at least.
On Thursday, we went to Ely by coach.  The coach was much more spacious than the one in which we travelled to Great Yarmouth...but that may  have been because there were no toilets, televisions...and not even proper air conditioning!!!
Our driver, Paul, was really funny, and gave us a long speech about all the things that could go wrong with the coach, and what  a boring place Ely was as we set off.  Well, we thought it was hilarious at the time.
The seatbelts were simple lap-belts that wouldn't really have done you the slightest bit of good in an accident, but at least they weren't covered in fry-up food, so I wasn't complaining.  Unfortunately, a family with a 2-year-old boy called Isaac decided to sit right in front of us, and he SCREAMED the whole way...
We saw a lot of deer on the way though, and the journey went really smoothly. 
When we eventually reached Ely, we found it was just as small as Paul had told us.  The people were really unfriendly too (no offense if you live in Ely, you're probably not one of the old women wagging their walking sticks at each other), and obviously resented us tourists being there.
The market turned out to be tiny, and not much use, and the only three charity  shops there were rubbish.  I did see yet another copy of "Andre" on video, and I would have bought it, considering I messed up my other copy, but it was too much  trouble to try to explain it all to Mum again.
But Ely is not completely dead when it comes to pony-hunting!!!
There was a small toy shop there, with six of the new Favourite Friends and Scented Ponies inside!  I bought Pinkie Pie, and also some little packets of MLP Sandylion stickers (for 99p each).
Next we went in Ely Cathedral, which was interesting...but very cold.  We had a guided tour around, but the guide seemed more interested in telling us to "hurry" so that she could get home, because she'd "cricked her back" than about the cathedral.  Mum ran into an old friend on the tour at the cathedral though, and it turned out she was on the same coach as us, just seated a lot further forward!!! 
Once we'd finished in the cathedral, we went in the Stained Glass Museum.  I've always had a fascination with old stained glass windows, although I wasn't so keen on the abstract designs of the past thirty years or so...
Finally, to Oliver Cromwell's House, where two figures awaited us outside.  Mum was convinced they were actors, whom she wanted to avoid...but they were actually statues!!!  Once inside, we sat down on a wooden windowledge to listen to the commentary in the first room.  "Are you sure we're allowed to sit here?" I asked.  Mum shrugged.  "I think so." She said.  Then the commentary started.  "You are now standing in Oliver..."  Both of us shot up at once, although the commentary may have meant nothing at all!
The commentary in the haunted bedroom wasn't working, so we just stared at a mock-up of Cromwell's bed with a life sized dummy lying in it, while a strange noise whirred all around us...
We had about half an hour to spare, and I still had ten quid to spend.  So we dashed back to the toy shop where I picked up  Wysteria and Party Cake.  The man behind the counter embarrassed me by saying how he felt "a little case of deja vu" as if it had "all happened before that day"... Great.  I'd been recognised.  Just what I wanted.
We rushed back to the coach past two seperate police incidents (That place was almost as bad as where we live now!), but no sooner had we got on the coach than a woman sitting opposite us complained that there was "water dripping on her head". The climate control had broken, so we had to return home in a FREEZING cold coach where I got a chill.  Atchoo!
I came home and turned the computer on, too tired to even get myself a drink, and had a really funny turn.  I could feel a kind of tight feeling in my chest and neck, my vision blurred, and there was an insistant ringing in my ears.  I was really shaky when I finally got to my feet about five minutes later, and haven't really felt the same since.  It really scared me, and I don't know what's wrong with me really...
Anyhow, there's plenty more I could write, but I need to get to bed.  Otherwise we won't get on the coach tomorrow.  My Dad's accompanying us on this one.  Joy, oh joy...
Think of me while I'm away!!!

Desiree Skylark  xxx