Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Don’t people have ANY respect or idea of right and wrong these days?

Current mood:  cheerful

Yesterday would have been my late Grandad's 81st birthday.  Grandad was cremated, so we have no grave to visit.  Mum wanted to commemorate the occasion in some way though, so we visited his parents' grave and cleaned it up/put some flowers on it.  The cemetary used to be really nice, but it's just gone soaring downhill recently. (And this is in the area I'm desperate to move to! )
While we were there, we watched a drunkard skipping around the graves, singing loudly into a mobile phone, and then using a grave as a bench while drinking more beer.  Then, when Mum moved on to her Mum's Dad's/brother's grave, we watched two teenage boys urinating against a nearby tree.  Before we got there, all of the vases on the nearby graves to ours had been smashed.  Luckily, we just have a metal flower holder, which they'd *only* bent slightly out of shape and we managed to replace.    What's this world coming to?
Then today, I was showing my mum a photograph on the net.  Once she'd seen, I returned to the floor, sat down, and noticed a silver car...RIGHT OUTSIDE THE WINDOW!  IN OUR GARDEN!  This is not the first time this has happened.  In fact, three seperate people have parked three seperate cars out there in the past six months!  Just because Dad's at work doesn't mean they should get free parking in our garden, does it?  The police weren't interested the first twice, and when I took a photo the third time, we had people swearing at us through the window all day, saying they would personally "Wring my neck" if I "used the photo against them".  So I didn't dare do anything.  About ONE HOUR later, an Indian man came out of the hairdressers over the road, and very calmly walked over to our garden, reversed his car out of the space, and drove away.  Why are people so rude these days?!   Where do they get the guts to use someone else's drive anyhow?
In other news, we went to Asda tonight, determined to find BOGOF ponies and the Bow Tie t-shirt, and finally get our passport pictures taken.  Put it this way -there were no ponies there at all (just one Ponyville Fluttershy), since all the toys have been moved out to make way for Halloween stuff, the t-shirt was nowhere to be seen, and the photo booth refused to work!  Luckily, we got our money back, but we had to wait hours even for that!
Tomorrow morning we are setting off to Hunstanton in Norfolk, staying at Holiday Express, King's Lynn, for a night, and hopefully going on a seal-watching boat trip on Wednesday morning.  I'll be back Wednesday night, with a full (probably disasterous) report.  Until then, feel free to leave me messages and comments galore!
Sorry to everyone I owe a letter to.  My computer's been playing up terribly today ~ I couldn't even comment on blogs, or update my profile!  So instead, I'll wish you good luck with the results of that audition here, Elisabeth, if you're reading this!  My fingers are crossed for you!
See you all Wednesday night!

Desiree  xxx

Saturday, 15 September 2007

Nothing's familiar...

Current mood:  giggly

This is utterly crazy ~ I think I must be dreaming!!!
Yesterday, although I forgot to say it in my last blog, I was so un-nerved by some horrible old man who was in a van alongside us in a traffic jam, who kept leering through the car window at me until I felt the need to pull my huge winter coat up over me (WHY ME?!  It's not like I'm allowed to wear revealing clothing - why do I always pick up the nutters?), I almost didn't go out today, but I'm glad I did in the end.
This morning, Dad came back from the house (where he'd been sleeping last night) with a parcel for me, which he had picked up from the post office on the way back here.  It was my mum's kind family history e-pal again, having found yet more ponies for me at the car boot sale!  She's been going on and on about a "Big" pony, and I thought it was going to be one of those Asda fakies...but it was Styling Rainbow Dash, complete with tiara and three original hairclips...plus almost all of her original stickers, and although they've been stuck all over her, I'm pretty sure I can salvage both her and them from the sticky mess!!!

Along with RD she sent two fakies (including the cutest one I've ever seen with GORGEOUS red hair - think Tales Lancer's red, my favourite MLP hair colour!), Dainty Dove, Baby Halfnote (With the sweetest little handmade coat!), Baby Tiddly-Winks, Petal Blossom, Bride Pony, No Country Sundance, The Mintiest Lemon Drop EVER (looks like she's just come out the packet, and she's got such thick hair compared to most I've seen) and UK Baby Glider (Again, in minty mint condition!)  I am so, so, SO happy to have them all. 
Anyhow, since she'd sent all of these ponies (and they cost her over four pounds just to send! ) we felt we ought to go to Kew Archives and research her criminal ancestor for her.  On the way we went in Tesco though, to check out the ponies Dad thought he saw last night - sure enough the new Ponyville Teacup set was there, and Dad has bought it for me as a "surprise" () Christmas present!  Also there was the Storytime Pinkie Pie.  I've been waiting for what seems like forever for her to arrive in the UK shops, so I snapped her up, even if she did set me back eight quid, which I feel is a little overpriced compared to what other shops must be selling her for...
Anyhow, we were driving through Ealing Broadway, and I was getting a little depressed.  We're just supposed to be moving over to Northfields (near Ealing) finally, and everything is shutting down!  Beales is having a final clearance sale, and being replaced by...PRIMARK.  God help us.   Beales has been there as long as I remember (not surprisingly - it's been there about thirty years! ).  I still recall when it was Bentalls and we'd queue for hours to get the latest Beanie Babies...I bought a ton of my G2 ponies there too.  *Sighs*  All the places I'd go to think about my happy childhood memories are being taken away one by one.  Over 700 flats are being built in Ealing.  God help us some more, PLEASE!  That means even more drunks and ungrateful immigrants begging for money.  And pound shops are even starting to creep in...  Oh dear.
Anyway, I was just starting to feel really down when Mum pointed out an Open House Weekend event down one of the sideroads.  The Questors Theatre.  We decided to stop and take a look around...and we even got on a free backstage tour. 
I'd completely forgotten that the theatre even existed.  And it's about twenty minutes walk from the new house!   So, OK, it's a place for amateur dramatics, but we all have to start somewhere, eh?  Do you see what I'm getting at?   It costs about forty pounds ($80) a year to belong, but for that, you can audition for their shows for free, and can get massive discounts on tickets for shows for yourself and your entire family!  You also get discounts if you go to the local college there, since the same people do acting and voice classes (YAY!) there as the people who ocassionally go and give the amateur dramatic people lessons.  Actually, I personally think they could do with saving up for some more lessons, but I'll  get back to that later!   We got to see a preview of one of their shows while we were there, and they had a really catchy tune in it...something along the lines of, "Something familiar, something peculiar".  Actually, I'd like to change those words a little, thank you.  This whole world is peculiar, and nothing is familiar...even on your own future doorstep!  I doubt I'd ever get cast for any parts, but at least I'll be able to keep trying, even once I get my office job and stay in Ealing looking after my parents forever.  Bleh.
Dad was in a fowl mood as usual, and was trying to embarrass me by keep making snide comments towards the tour guide.  WHY?  Trying to stop me going back, I guess.  Of course, we didn't get to Kew Archives, and that's left me feeling a little guilty...  
Half the cast members were busy today, so when they performed the part of the show we watched, they appealed for people to come down from the audience to take part.  I was asked to go, but my parents answered up for me, and said I was NOT going.  Bleh. Again!  I wish I'd just got up and shown them - I reckon I could have done the routine a darn sight better than the actors in it!  (Not that I'm big-headed or anything...they were just pretty bad! ) Oh well, it was fun to watch the idiots who went down 'learning to dance' (i.e. tripping over their own feet, and tripping the choreographer up too! )  Am I wicked to say that?
We had a quick walk around Ealing Broadway, the shopping centre that's going into ruin, but there wasn't much there.  Argos had no reduced ponies in the catalogue, and I can't buy any of the jewellery I've fallen in love with in there due to my parents.  WHSmith had very few of the magazines we were looking for, even though we haven't been for weeks, due to my lazy father not taking us - we must have missed them all! And as for TKMaxx, there wasn't a pony or pony t-shirt in the place.
"Why are you looking for t-shirts anyway?" My Mum asked.  "You can't wear them with those horrible capsleeves."  Right now I might not, mother, but once we move house, I'm going to be ME, not the slave of my parents!  So I need to get the MLP t-shirts while I can!
However, I'm not going to give Mum a hard time over that, since admittedly she DID say she thought I might want to join the theatre, and that's why she pointed out the open day.  She's still been slagging off the actresses in the show we saw for being "tarts" ever since though, since some "dared to wear clothing that showed their legs".  Heck, how else are they supposed to play certain parts?  My dad's driven her to insanity.  I'm puzzled though.  Tonight she's back to saying she has "no idea what weird thoughts are going through my head", and I "talk rubbish, saying I'm going to emigrate", or "if I am going to emigrate and leave her, please say before she wastes her money moving house".  I'm messed up either way.   If we stay here, I can't leave the house, get a job, and save up to move away.  If we move, I'm supposed to be "grateful" and live alongside her in the house forever, not even moving away to get married or have kids, far less for work or pleasure.  In fact, she's hinted at me bringing my husband and family to live in the loft at the new house, should I ever get married, and I don't think she's joking!   She's also saying I "can't put her through the stress of having an operation just to get my teeth sorted for my looks.  I have to prove to her it's for a valid reason, like they're really hurting me."  They are hurting me...mentally...as are my parents.  And er...have you forgotten something?  It's MY mouth that I have to live with, and MY life I'll be putting at risk by having an aneasthetic!  Where does "putting her through stress" come in???
Anyhow, I'm not getting down over that now.  I'm hopeful that I'll at least be able to act on a stage in front of an audience now, even if it's only as a hobby and not a career.  I was also reading up on the "Voice Acting Alliance" last night, and joined the forum.  If I can get a desk microphone, maybe I can do online amateur VA'ing, and get on with my merry little life as a computer graphics designer/carer for my mum in her old age.    Not sure why I'm laughing at that.  It's the most likely thing that could happen.
Anyway, I'm going.  I should be in bed, and I just noticed Caroline has IM'd me...   That's it, girl!  Have a good giggle at that too!
Best wishes,

A-Very-Amused-Desiree  xxx

Just my daily b-ore-log...

Current mood:  thoughtful

Well, today we went to Down House, Knole Park and Lullingstone Castle World Garden.  I've been to both Down and Lullingstone before, but found both so enjoyable that I've been wanting to go again ever since.
Lullingstone (for those of you who don't know) was the subject of a TV series on BBC two years running.  The Hart Dyke family who have lived there for generations still live in and run the place (Taking money on the door, cleaning etc.)  For people who own a huge stately home, they have little other money, and the place was going into disrepair.  So Tom Hart Dyke, the twenty-something year old son of the family designed the World Garden in the hopes of attrating more visitors...it's certainly worked!  The place was packed, and the garden has come on such a lot since last year!   I would love to be able to return each year and just see how it grows up. 
The deer park at Knole was brilliant too, and I took some pictures on the way out. Unfortunately, the deer were not feeling very co-operative, and by the time I got my camera out of the bag they's all turned away from the car.   I hope I still got some relatively OK photos though.
When we got back, Dad wanted to go and get a newspaper from Tesco anyway but I was exhausted by that time, so I didn't join him.  I wish I had.  When he came in, he told me all about the ponies there ~ he keeps going on about "Little ones in teacups" particularly.  I know they were re-arranging the toy aisle on Tuesday, and changing the MLP shelving.  It must be the new Ponyville Ponies.   *Sighs*  So now I have to go and look for ponies in Tesco, AND the Bow Tie t-shirt/BOGOF ponies in Asda...
Everything on the internet seems to be going to mad tonight.  First the MLPArena was down, now I can't access Hotmail!  It was only because of all of this that I just had time to register at an amateur voice acting forum where I'm hoping I'll find out what sort of microphones/equipment I should be investing in at least to take part in online auditions.  But of course the activation code has gone to my Hotmail account!  AGH!  Oh well, I'll stop moaning now and be off to bed...hopefully.  I tend to stay up until about 4am these days even when there's no need to!
Does anybody know how I can add little hearts into my profile/display name on here etc.?  Every time I try they change to "?"s!!!   Just a random question there, since I'm sick of seeing "~?~Desiree Skylark~?~" alongside this blog entry.  I do actually know my name, whatever some people may think, so I don't need to have it surrounded by question marks, thank you very much!
Best wishes,
????????????????Desiree Skylark????????????????(I think that's my name anyway... :D)

Friday, 14 September 2007

Going out tomorrow ~ Finally!

Current mood:  creative
 
Hello, World!
Well, another day was wasted at the My Little Pony Rescue Home.  I haven't left this house since Tuesday night (when I went to Tesco), but we are finally going out again tomorrow, so I should hopefully have a write-up of that then.
As for today, what can I say?  I sang, studied accents, got told I was "weird" for doing so...oh, and befriended the neighbours' cat, who appears to be stalking the rats in the back garden. 
Also finally figured out how to work Myspace a little better, so you should be seeing a new and improved profile from Desiree Skylark soon.
One little thing worrying me though.  When Elisabeth (*Waves to Liz if she's reading this*) commented on my blog earlier, I had to approve her comment.  I NEVER MADE THOSE SETTINGS!  And when I checked through my account  settings I found quite a few things had been changed...I reckon someone hacked in and had a bit of fun.  *Sighs*  So if you get any comments on Macy's Gift Cards and new ringtones from me please delete them and drop me a line.  Thanks!
Right, I'm off.  Splodge is tugging at the bottom of my t-shirt.  He wants some attention.  And I really want to get something done with my blog before I go to bed... 
Best wishes,
Desiree  x <3 x <3 x

Thursday, 13 September 2007

Maybe we are moving after all...

Current mood:  hopeful
 
I'm half asleep so I'm going to keep this relatively short.  I'm talking to Grace on MSN anyway, so I may as well do two things with my time.
Right, well, following the arguments of the weekend, Mum obviously felt guilty about what she'd said.  She decided the house was not being sold quite yet, instead she was giving it one last chance. 
Dad tried his best to avoid the house by coming home late on Monday night.  But we fooled him yesterday by telling him he was coming home to take us to Brent Cross Shopping Centre, and then demanding he went to the house in question instead.
Mum must be feeling really guilty.  She's backed down on nearly everything that she wanted, just so that we can submit out own plans to the architect (Yep, the architect [who still expects paying] came up with such rubbish plans that we're designing our own to give him) and work can begin.  Trouble is, I fear she's going to give me hell about it, saying I "forced her into moving there, even though she had no family history room, and was stuck with a through-lounge".
Still, I'm not saying a word.  That house is my ticket to freedom!  Mum knows herself that she's likely to "change her mind" if we don't get a move on.  And so you know what Dad's doing?  He's trying his best to put her off!
"You'll lose money, Jacqui!  A LOT of money!", "What worries me is that property prices are DROPPING!" and "You know you won't like it." are among the things he's saying.  Um...why?  You've been trying to convince her to do this for ages, now you've decided it's the wrong thing to do?  I can't believe it.  I think he's embarrassed to go and speak to the architect after all this time...  He saw him in the street last night and shot into the house like a mouse!  But it'll only get worse with time,  you know?
Nothing else has really happened.  But I'm feeling hopeful that things ARE starting to move along with the house now.  *Crosses fingers*
Best wishes,
Desiree Skylark   xxx

Sunday, 9 September 2007

Arguments might make me mad, but compliments just make me sad...

Current mood:  sad

Note: Myspace and this computer are driving me crazy. I've written this blog twice now, and both times my words have been eaten before posting.  So now I'm writing this one paragraph at a time.  Hence, I send my sincerest apologies should this story cut off halfway through while you are reading it.  That simply means I'm still writing it!   I hope it works...
So you think the title of this blog entry is weird?  Well, it's no weirder than the brains of the members in the "Group Of People Who Hate Each Other" (My family).
I never receive compliments, so it shocked me that I have received two this week...and from the most unlikely people too. 
First of all, after seeing my sister and her family last Sunday, Emma apparently spoke to Nick about us, and he seems to have something good to say for us for once.  Mum is pleased to hear that he thought her "Elton John glasses" (Large, long distance ones) were "trendy".  Not so sure what to think about his comment on me though...
"Your sister actually looked like a girl!"
Mum is dumbfounded.  Emma is confused.  I am a little puzzled as to why I received this "compliment", but I think I get it.  The last time they saw me was Easter.  Ever since my 16th birthday, I've been doing everything I can to change my appearance with the few things I have access to around the house, tidying up my eyebrow lines, and trying to thoroughly cleanse my skin with E45 cream (Well, I can't get moisturiser, you know?!) and plain old water.  I know it's not good, but I think I look slightly better for it.  Nobody I live with even noticed though ~ It was my brother-in-law of all people in the end!  Still, if I can make an impact on him without access to any kind of proper beauty products, maybe there's hope for me yet, especially if I can get orthodontic treatment.
Then we went on a guided tree walk around Gunnersbury Park on Thursday.   Following the tour, one of our fellow walkers approached me, and asked me, "Are you a dancer?"  I assumed she must have noticed my weird habit of walking on my toes, which people often make rude comments about, but I decided to politely answer her and say I didn't currently attend dance classes but I hoped to someday as part of training for a career as a part-time musical theatre actress - meaning Mum might get some idea of my dreams too.  But before I got the chance, Mum answered for me, "NO!  She is NOT a dancer!" The stranger seemed pretty taken aback by this but continued to speak to me.  "Oh...I betted that you were.  You have such beautiful posture; a lovely straight back, and you walk so gracefully!  You really should try dancing sometime - you certainly have 'the look'." She smiled at me, as though she's picked up a little of my current situation in the short time we'd been speaking and scarpered off to  the bus shelter to try to catch a ride home before my mum could snap at her again.  When we were back in the car, Mum said to me, "I think she might have been a professional dancer once." (The lady had looked the sort of person who might have been once long ago), "So I wouldn't take offence!"  Er...who's taking offence, mother?    The only thing I felt was a little sad.  People are obviously noticing that there's some kind of something there, but I can't do anything to improve myself, or be who I want to be.  
The biggest trouble in my life at the moment though started last night.  And it's all so very odd.  Right, so let me just go over the facts, and put a little reminder in for new readers, or for people who have simply forgotten. 
1. Mum taunts me for being a fan of Shane Meier.  To avoid further teasing, I've managed to prevent her from even seeing his photograph these past two years.
2. Mum has a family history e-pal, who she told I collected ponies, and who now buys MLP's at her local car boot sale for me.  In return, Mum feels the need to repay her by doing family history chores for her at Kew Archives.
Right.  Now, although I try to avoid her seeing Shane on TV, I'd never deny her seeing a DVD or video she actually requested to see.  She's just not interested in "All the sci-fi cr*p" (Stargate Atlantis) and she knows little about the other shows/movies I've taped anyway.
However, when Bonnie leant me "Silver Wolf", I was talking to Mum about it, since she asked what was in the package.  She made little comment, but on Friday night (The day before I promised to send the film back to Bonnie!) SHE raised the subject again, and said it sounded like a really nice film and she wanted to see it.  OK, fine, no problem.  In fact, if she actually enjoyed a film that Shane had starred in, she might not be quite so rude to me, I thought.  But this was late on Friday night, and we didn't have time to watch an entire film.
Even though I was willing to play the entire film for her, I needed to play it one more time to get a recording of it. Since the disc is securtiy locked, I couldn't do a regular recording, so I needed to do an audio recording.  This requires turning the TV up so loud you can't hear yourself think, and remaining quieter than a mouse yoursef, whilst continually checking the tinny tape recorder to be sure it's still making the recording.  In other words, it requires just one person being in the house alone to limit noise levels.
Yesterday, Mum decided to go to Kew Archives and research her friend's ancestor.  I decided to stay at home and make the recording.  Mum said I was "selfish", and it was my "duty to go since she's working for my ponies".  I argued, since I knew the DVD should really have gone back to Bonnie already, so I really had to make the recording.  I 'won' and was stuck indoors the house making a recording instead of going out to the records office.
I got a rather bad recording of the entire film, the trailer, and then all of Shane's lines seperately.  Still, better than nothing, I guess.  *Shrugs*  Mum returned after five hours, tired and lacking the information she wanted for her friend.  She was annoyed that Dad hadn't taken her to the house to do more clearing out, but seemed to have an even bigger chip on her shoulder when it came to me.  
We had our usual arguments over our saturday egg and chips ~ Dad said I'd put the ketchup away without asking him if he wanted it (even though it was still on the kitchen counter), Mum ate some of Dad's chips (even though she had plenty  of her own), and I dropped an egg on the floor.  Goody, goody!
Then Dad went to work and Mum and I hung up the laundry.  Then Mum went to sleep on the sofa, asking me to wake her up at 9pm to ring my sister up, which I did.  But instead of ringing Emma, Mum started screaming at me that she was too tired, and I was odd.
I'm "keeping the DVD away from her" apparently, and am "Mentally insecure" (Well, do you blame me, considering where I live?)  But how am I keeping the DVD away from her anyway.  She asked to see it too late on Friday night, and she was out/asleep all day yesterday.  She's the mentally insecure one!  Anyhow, do you know what she's going to do to get me back for this terrible thing I've done?  She's going to "buy herself a copy" (having told me I'm not to buy one for my "stupid obsessive reasons") and "keep it away from me"!  WTH?!  Why would she want a DVD about a wolf, starring MY favourite actor?!  Heck, she likes wolves, but not THAT much, especially since she hardly ever watches TV, so it's not an every day thing for her to buy a DVD.  She's acting just like a little kid!
Then she began ranting some more.  She was "Too tired to cut Splodge's supper up" and I am "A lazy little cow who expects everybody else to pander to my every need and look after a guinea pig she wishes was dead so that she could go on holiday!"  That's an outright lie!  I ALWAYS do everything to look after Splodge except cut his supper up, and ALWAYS did that job too (For Sparkle as well) before the kitchen light went. I only stopped because I kept cutting my fingers to ribbons, whereas Mum has more experience from all of the guinea pigs we've had in the past and can work in the dark quite easily.
I didn't say any of that though.  Instead I tried to keep the peace, saying I would stay at home and look after Splodge while she went on holiday alone.  At this she went mad, saying, "I'm too young to be left on my own."  (Actually, there's no law in the UK fora minimum age a person can be left) I informed her of this, only to be told I was "Ungrateful" and she "Would have been all too happy to go anywhere that her mother offered to take her."  Um...wait a moment, we have no family to look after Splodge, she thinks guinea pig hotels run by strangers are cruel, and she wants to go on holiday.  What am I supposed to do?  Wring poor little Splodge's neck?  It was just a suggestion so that she could get on the holidays she wants so much. And yet she got mad at me for that too!  
She decided to sleep on the sofa even though it was her night to sleep in the "communal bed", so Dad had to go to the new house.  Not sure where Dad's going to be sleeping in the long run though, since Mum said one final spite-filled  line before she went to sleep:
"I'm selling the house!"
Wonderful.  Just what  I wanted to hear.  I think I get why they don't get on and do anything with that house there.  They like it sitting there so that they can threaten to sell it and leave me in this dump.  *Sighs*
I was so upset that I didn't get to bed until 3am.  And Dad didn't get home until 9.30am which was when I was woken up.  Mum wasn't speaking to me.  Eventually, when David came out of the bathroom, a huge argument started up.
Apparently, I'm a "Selfish little git who she wishes was dead", and she's going to "Dance on my grave" if I die before her.  If I don't die, they need to "find somewhere else for me to go" since I'm "turning into an ogre".  I’m "Not going to Bristol PonyCon" (Good.  I think it only would have caused endless trouble for everyone involved anyway, although not so good I still won't meet Laura ) and she's "Going to get her passport picture taken, but NOT mine, because I'm not leaving the country". (Huh!  I'm not even going to LIVE in this country much longer, much less not go on holiday out of it!)  It's "My own fault for having guinea pigs" (Well, we had other ties - namely my grandparents - when I bought Sparkle and Splodge five years ago.  How was I supposed to know he'd live so long?
It won't affect me since I "don't want her company" (Who's insecure now, eh?), and "don't want to go anywhere anyway".  Lie, lie, lie!  I'd KILL to go to California with her!  This is because I "don't have any ambitions" (My mouth gaped open at this one), and "if she had been the same at my age she would have felt sorry for herself too!"  I think that's where I went mad.  "I DO have ambitions!  It's YOU who has stopped me!"  "Nobody knows what it is you want to do.  We can't be bothered playing silly guessing games.  And SURPRISE, SURPRISE!!!  We don't care what you want to do with your pathetic life either!"
Er...but I thought you "pandered to everything I'd ever wanted to do", as you said last night.  But now you don't even know what it is that I want to do!  Stop contradicting everything you say!
Anyhow, that's about it.  Mum has now calmed down and is talking to me.  Weird.  Dad is back at "work" that isn't really work.  I missed another of the rare Epsom car boot sales today (They're having two extra this year - today and the 23rd September - on top of the Bank Holiday ones), and didn't leave the house.  Brilliant.
I wish that Angie woman hadn't stopped Emma from signing up on Myspace.  I really want somebody I know personally to read this and get some messages across to my mum...IF it really is the case that she doesn't understand my (non-existant ) ambitions.  I just feel so lonely and isolated here.
Anyhow, I'm off.  I've wasted the entire day writing this thing what with the computer keep eating various paragraphs.  I just hope it works this time.  I don't want to have to write it all again!
I hope you're all having a better day than myself!
Best wishes,
Desperate Skylark (AKA "Pretty Please Save Me!!!") xxx