Monday, 1 October 2007

MASSIVE CATCH-UP BLOG! WARNING: YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN MAY CRACK IF YOU TRY TO READ THIS!!!

Current mood:  gloomy

You know how my daily b-ore-logs get kind of long?  Well, imagine almost a whole fortnight's worth of those massive blogs all tacked together.  Your worst nightmare?  Stop reading now then, because here comes the "SUPER-LONG CATCH-UP B-ORE-LOG"!!!

OK, so some of you may recall how we went to Hunstanton to see some seals on Tuesday 18th September and Wednesday 19th September.  So I shall start with a short(ish) review - and a few photos - of that.
We wanted to set out early on Tuesday morning, but we all overslept.  Mum and I were sharing the "Communal Bed" with a smashed alarm clock (which my dad broke some time ago) on the bedside table, and Dad was the only one with an alarm clock.  We were relying on him to get us  up, but even though he heard the alarm, he woke up, decided it was "too early" to get up, and went back to sleep.
Even once we were up, he went in the bathroom for hours.  And so it was that our 'happy family' didn't bundle into the hire car until almost 10am. 
Fortunately, Dad had been lying about the length of time it took to get to our destination (hoping that he would never have to drive there) and we were at our first stop by about noon (Early, by our standards!)  I was in a really bad mood with my parents by this point, due to a petty argument that had taken place in the car. (So petty I don't even remember what it was about!)  Anyhow, as we walked into our first attraction of the day, Oxburgh Hall, I was less than talkative.
"You always ruin everything for everybody." Mum ranted, although it's no secret that she hates the amount of stately homes we go to.  By the time we got into the courtyard - and found that the hall didn't open until 1pm - she and I were having a full-blown row. 
"The pair of you don't enjoy anythink!"  My dad ranted, as he walked around an ancient,  dusty bookshop, and the pair of us  continued to yell at each other.  "Nothink at all!"  "I beg your pardon?"  Mum suddenly stopped ranting at me and turned on David.  "If you had to live with a little b*tch like the one here all the time, wouldn't it drag you down?"
Dad agreed it would, and then the pair of them were best buddies again.  Except for one thing - Dad wanted to walk around the house, but Mum wanted to go on the garden tour.  Both started/opened at  the same time, and they wanted to move on quickly...and they didn't want to "get seperated" , in case they "didn't find each other again" .  So we went on the garden tour...or at least to the starting point - where we found the tour had already begun, and it wasn't very good anyway.  Lead by a National Trust volunteer in the form of a tiny little old woman, nobody could hear what she way saying.  Just as well, since she didn't seem to know much about the gardens anyway, and couldn't  answer anyone's questions.   Deciding the tour wasn't worth delaying over, we walked inside the hall.  Pretty interesting, but the main attraction is a Priest Hole which you can actually still go inside.  We queued for hours to get in to the Priest Hole, only to find Dad was too fat to get through the tunnel, Mum's legs weren't long enough to drop down into the hole safely, and I was too chlostrophobic to get inside!  *Sighs*  Brilliant, eh?
We went up the tower next, hoping for some spectacular views.  Instead, Mum sprained her left leg, and all we saw was a car park, and a couple of pigeons, as pictured below.



The gardens were very pretty (probaby better if you go earlier in the year  before all the flowers die though! ), as shown in this photograph taken from ground level.  Better view than from the tower actually.  If only I were a better photographer...



We then stopped off at "Rainbow Foodstores" since we had brought very little food with us.  There were NO vegetarian options in that shop!  Not even a simple sandwich that didn't include bacon or tuna of some kind.  Luckily, I convinced Dad to walk through the other doors of the shop into the main shopping street.  There we found a small, but very noisy, cafe, where a huge group of women, who all appeared to be related to each other in some way, chattered to each other and dragged a small child around.  One actually had the time to serve us, and boy, did she take time getting a few sandwiches!  They had a metal sign up which read "All orders up-to-date, all kitchen equipment clean, all customers happy.  ALL PIGS FED AND READY TO FLY!!!"  I couldn't help but think it was right.   I had egg mayonnaise, and my parents had cheese, all wrapped up in torn tin foil.   Mum had stayed in the car in an alleyway.  You  can't really see much of it in this photo, but this is Lovey Dovey, who came along with us for photo opportunities, posing by the car window in said alleyway looking at the funny reflections of herself...

Next on to Castle Acre Priory.   This photo basically illustrates everything that still remains of the priory.


Dad had an audio guide, but Mum gets a headache when she uses those things, so I politely sat on a bench with her while Dad walked around.  I did see some interesting species of snails there, and Mum enjoyed listening to some "exotic birds" which she was unable to see due to her recent impaired vision, and so I had to inform her...*Ahem*...were plain old crows!   In the car on the way to Castle Acre, I had felt a little itch on my right arm.  Without thinking, I scratched my arm, and found a little mole that I've had there for many years simply crumbled, and came off on my finger!  I told Mum about this, hoping she'd know something about these things and put my mind at rest.  Instead she terrified me, telling me it was "probably skin cancer" ...  Well, it hasn't got any bigger since, but she keeps telling me it probably is cancer even now!  I wish I hadn't said a word about it actually.
She picked up lots of Tourist Information at the  Priory, hoping we could go somewhere better the following day (certain today's boredom was now over)but, oh no, Dad had more in store for us  - Castle Acre Castle was next on the menu.  (Un)fortunately, we could not find a way to get to the castle. ...er, I mean... (!)  We parked in the designated area, but the only way in appeared to be up a really steep slope.  I wish I'd taken a picture now, but I forgot.
We turned away from the car park, in time to avoid a teenage boy who appeared to be doing something suspicious with a sharp stick  and a muddy puddle...God knows what would have happened to us had we stayed any longer!   As we drove down the road a hippy-ish white-haired man glared at us too.  Fingers crossed I never set foot in Castle Acre again!   Dad drove around a few more times, but could find no way into the castle, so we made our  way to the hotel...
The hotel?!  Um...nobody had exactly told me WHAT hotel we were staying at, but I had got the impression (as had Mum) that it was a Holiday Express.  Nope.   Instead we found we were being driven to King's Lynn Elizabeth Duke's Head.  It was really pretty  from the front, but this was the best picture I got, since Dad wouldn't stop the car.


Having parked in front of the hotel, been told off, parked behind the hotel in the official car park, and got out of the car, we realised what a total mess we were.   Where everyone else carries briefcases/suitcases, we have torn up Tesco and Sainsbury's carrier bags.  Where all the men wear suits and bow ties, and all the women ballgowns at this posh hotel, we are in plain tattered clothes (me under my parents orders, but still, that makes it even more embarrassing!
We made our way inside, and found this little beauty under the staircase.  Unfortunately, for a posh hotel, he appears to be in need of a little restoration . (Note the pole he's standing on! )

The story behind why he was there was on the wall.


We got our room number, picked up our key, and began to climb the stairs.   All of the communal rooms were named after explorers, and I couldn't help but notice the signs up everywhere pointing to the "Vancouver Room".  That's how sick I've become thanks to my parents.   Bleh.  Got to stop dreaming and remember the existance I'm stuck in...
Eventually, having walked up and down a total of 205 stairs, walked through 17 seperate doors and along too many corridors to count, we found our room.  Mum and I collapsed laughing by the door.   David glared at us.   It was a nice room, but we had a terrible view from the window...just as well we were only there for one night, and not making use of it too often anyway.  
View from *Very dirty* window the following morning (Hence, why there's daylight in the photograph)

We spent the best part of the evening with Dad watching the TV, Mum occasionally looking at it too, and me listening to a tape recording (Yep, I had "Taken that bl**dy great heavy thing with me", as Mum said) of "Silver Wolf".  Well, since I'm so "obsessed with Shaun-Whatsit",  I couldn't go a day without hearing my favourite actor's voice, could I?!
I was starving, and eventually Dad took his eyes off the TV for long enough to ask if we wanted something to eat.  We decided to walk into King's Lynn shopping centre and see what we could find.  It was 8pm (Shock-horror!  SO late!!!) so ALL of the shops - even MCDONALDS!) were shut!!!  How crazy is that?  The streets were also really dark and filled with suspicious characters...blog/smileys/nervous.gif">  Hence, we had to drive all the way to Hunstanton (About 20 miles) where we were going the following day anyway, in order to get some chips!
Dad took AGES getting the chips, and while we were waiting two teenage boys in "hoodies" came riding along on bikes.  They parked their bikes, snuck behind a fence, came back out with MASSIVE wooden crates, and cycled off carrying them!   Meanwhile, we sat shivering in our seats, hoping they wouldn't notice us...which they didn't...fortunately...
Of course, since Mum didn't want to sleep with my dad, he had the nice single bed, and we had the somewhat wobbly and hard double bed.  We disposed of the blanket as quickly as possible.  It was blood-stained and really nasty.   Hence, we were cold and David was happy and warm. 
Trying to keep away from Mum, I slept with one leg dangling over the edge of the bed, which gave me dreadful aches and pains.  At 5.30am, Dad woke us up.  Mum refused to get up since it was "Still dark".  I had to get up to use the bathroom, but I was soon asleep again.  I began dreaming, a really stupid dream that I don't even remember properly.  I know I reached out to hug somebody (!!!), and the next thing I knew I was falling, and falling, and...BANG!
OUCH!  I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!  I'D FALLEN OUT OF BED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!
The bed and floor where I fell...


David, sitting on the nice soft single bed against the wall, putting his shoes on pretended to show concern, and asked if I was all right.  Mum shouted from the
 asking what had happened.  I clasped my right hip which was aching badly, got back into bed, and fell asleep.   Hmm...  By the time I was woken up again, I felt fine though.  Confused yet?  I am!
So I got up, got washed and dressed, and then went downstairs for breakfast.  "It better be good." My mum moaned, knowing that this hotel had cost a LOT more than Holiday Express would have done, had David booked earlier.   Of course, David blamed Mum for changing her mind about where she wanted to go at the last minute but, as I quickly pointed out, my father hadn't booked to go to THAT place either!
Arriving in the dining area, we found it was really posh like the rest of the hotel, with classical music playing in the background whilst people ate, wearing their best morning clothes.   Strangely, the food was not posh at all - simply small boxes of cereal like you would buy in a multi-pack from a supermarket!   We could have also had an optional cooked breakfast but, being vegetarians Mum and I declined, and having overslept, Dad didn't dare order himself one either.  Dad did order himself some toast and tea though, and then we all sat down to our cereal; Corn flakes for myself, Rice Krispies for Mum and Weetabix for Dad.  Although everyone had cereal, the bowls were far too small and almost overflowing on the posh tablecloths!!!
Considering the huge quantity of people to be served, the hotel had only employed two waiters, and so David's tea and toast took AGES to come.  When the lady did eventually come and bring the toast, she dropped one slice out of the posh toast rack and (*GASP*) on to the table!  She wanted to take it away and bring him another slice (She told us so in a RE-AH-LAY CAW-MUN voice - that place was so mixed up!), but Dad said it was OK.  She seemed pretty shocked. But it had only been on the beautifully cleaned tablecloth, for goodness sake!
Mum and I returned to our hotel room, and I quickly took some pictures before Dad came in and we began dismantling all of our mess again.  (See how much mess they can make in ONE SINGLE NIGHT?!
Bedroom/Living Room/Office etc.
Bathroom
Hot water may run from the cold tap, eh?  We all had to wash in cold water because HOT WATER didn't run from the HOT TAP, much less the cold tap!

As well as taking our own stuff home, Mum snitched these off of the bathroom shelf for "Other People's Presents" . Well, she doesn't want to BUY any of you gifts, you know?  So if you receive some shampoo or shower gel that looks suspiciously like a bottle from this picture, you know where it came from! 


After that, Dad returned and we lugged all our scruffy carrier bags back through the series of LONG corridors and bundled them and ourselves into the car.  Then Dad rang the seal boat trip company to check the trip was still running...
Well, SURPRISE, SURPRISE!  IT WASN'T!  So you see, David?  You can't better our attempts in Great Yarmouth.  The weather is just so bad in this country lately that the boat trips are hardly running.  Dejectedly, realising we'd wasted our money staying at the hotel, we tried to figure out where to go.  Then Dad announced we were off Castle Rising - whoopy-doo!  Mum asked to be dropped at a shopping centre first because we're so bored with castles, but there weren't any good shops nearby, and she wouldn't have got such a good saving with her English Heritage membership had we not gone in.
Once we arrived, we found it wasn't quite so bad as we thought it would be.  Some of the walls are actually original with original colouring and decoration.  That was really interesting.  The only thing I didn't like about the place (and it wasn't Castle Rising's Castle's fault) was a group of noisy teenage students.  They weren't even trying to learn, simply running around and around in circles, tripping us up, and giggling at me because I'm forced to wear such un-fashionable clothes and have such a horrible hairstyle.  Mum befriended one of the boys though, and started chatting to him.  Oh. My. God.  What an embarrassment! 
Eventually, after Mum had made me cringe to her satisfaction, she left the boy to run around the castle alone, tried to pick up what she thought was an "ancient nail" (A small piece of twig), due to her bad eyesight, and then decided to leave. 
We moved on to Hunstanton where, even though there was no seal boat trip, I had seen some coin operated children's rides the night before which I wanted to photograph.  Also, I wanted to check the clawgrabbing machines for MLP plushies.   Unfortunately, no MLP plushies, but I did get some ride pictures...sadly all of newer rides since the old ones must have already been scrapped...or put on this roundabout which was in the amusement park there.


It was bitterly cold, but I still enjoyed seeing the sea again.  When we had finished in Hunstanton, we bought some lovely ice-creams with added syrup...Mum and I have been wanting to try that type forever, and I mean, FOREVER!  She had strawberry, and I had chocolate.  Dad also had chocolate, but it wasn't his first ever syruppy-ice cream!  He buys himself cones all the time when we're not with him.
David told Mum to hurry up, since his parking time was up.  So she gulped down the ice cream she'd waited so long to try, and didn't enjoy it, only to find out David's plan was to drive just around the corner and park again in Hunstanton shopping street!  "Well, you said Desiree wanted to go to some shops." He said.  Mum was angry, since she'd only wanted to let me go to some shops while David was at the castle.  But now she'd actually have to wait for me to go in a few!!!  Oh, HORROR!
There were only four shops I wanted to go in anyway (Well, apart from the fashion shops I'm not allowed in) - Woolworths and three charity shops.  Nothing in two of the charity shops at all, and in the Salvation army they just had one balloon (no basket or ponies) off of one of the Balloon Flying Sets.  It was priced at £2.50!  Surely even a posh Salvation Army charity shop wouldn't charge that much for a simple balloon!  I reckon I must have missed some stuff there earlier.
I had to fight to get into Woolworths.  Mum said we shouldn't be wasting our time in such a common shop while we were away. (Even though we never get to go to any shops when we're at home).  Eventually I won though, and we went inside...where I saw the Crystal Rainbow Castle for the first time - WOW!  That box is huge!  Obviously, I couldn't afford it and so didn't buy it.  But then I went down to the main pony shelves and found the MINTY AND FRIENDS PONYVILLE TUBE!!!     I had no idea it was even in the country at this point, so I scooped it up in a hurry.  My dad also agreed to pay for Favourite Friends Sunny Daze and Rainbow Dash, so I was skipping very happily when I left the shop.



Dad got himself some cakes in a nearby bakery (Nothing for us though, since we still had the apple turnovers we'd brought along with us having avoided eating them the previous day), and then we moved on to Bircham Windmill.  We had big plans of climbing to the top, but the second Mum set foot on the first ladder, we realised we weren't going to make it.  She hates heights and infamously had to be RESCUED FROM A TOWER BY THE FIRE BRIGADE when she was on holiday with her cousin about twenty-five years ago! She convinced herself and I that we were all going to fall over the side of the ladder, and so having got halfway up the third ladder she decided to stop, so I thought I'd better stay as well.  It was especially difficult since I was carrying the ponies I'd bought in Woolworths with me.  Very hard to carry up dodgy wooden ladders, as you can imagine.  So David went up on his own.  He wasn't up there very long, but he kept raving about how wonderful it was to make us feel bad for not going.  And I WOULD have gone if not for Mum.  *Sighs*  She could barely get down the two ladders we had ascended though, crying "Oh, Bl**dy hell!" and "Oh, God, I could fall down there!" with every step.

Eventually, Mum got down to the ground without any help from the fire brigade (Quite an achievement! ) and, after buying two delicious cakes, we wandered outside, where we found there was a small farm with my two favourite types of animal of all time - guinea pigs and a pony.  Heaven!  Unfortunately we had to rush off quite quickly so as to get to our next destination before the last admission time, so I never got to meet the pony, but I did take these pictures of the piggies while I was in their run feeding bunches of grass to them in my usual mad way! 




Finally we made it to Houghton Hall, home to the rare white fallow deer, which Mum and I wanted to see.  There's a lovely deer park and gardens there, but we didn't get a chance to look around that much since Dad wanted to walk around the hall for hours and talk to EVERY single volunteer in EVERY single room about EVERY single painting!  AGH! 
It was only when we got outside that I got a chance to get a photograph, so this is the best memory I have of the rare white stags.  That blasted father of mine!  Of course, it didn't help that the batteries  in my camera were running low and so we had to get a battery out of David's alarm clock to even have the slightest chance to get this picture.


On the way back to the house (And Splodge, who I was really worried about by this point ), David pulled out our packed lunch (apple turnovers) for us, and found that they had gone completely soggy in the heat of the car!   So we had to stop at a Little Chef, where a toothless girl who can't have been much older than myself served us completely different food to what we'd asked for!   But it was vegetarian food, and we were hungry, so we didn't complain...
On the way home, I was writing my diary.  I leaned forward to put it away in my bag when Mum shouted "WATCH OUT!"  It was all over by the time I sat up again.  "What was all that about?" I asked.  Both of my parents started jibbering about *something* they'd seen.  It "looked like a shadow of a person running across the road" apparently, but there was "nobody there", and  "It was like the ghost of somebody who'd been run over on that spot a long time ago" "That's so odd." Mum mused.  "I was just getting a real feeling that somebody had died.  Maybe Aubrey..."  (Aubrey is Mum's old friend).  Mum is often psychic like that, so it's pretty worrying for her to think you've died actually.  Poor Aubrey! 
Finally we reached the house.  I dashed to open Splodge's hutch...and he sleepily opened one eye.  I honestly don't think he'd even noticed we were gone!   He certainly didn't seem phased when we got him out for supper.  Strange guinea pig!    Mum's Uncle John's phone number had rung while we were out and, so convinced was she that somebody had died, she felt sure it was his wife writing to tell us terrible news about John.  But it was too late to ring them back and find out... 
John rang up again the following morning (Yes, John rang.  So it wasn't him after all!) and told Mum that his sister, Evelyn (Mum's aunt/my Grandma's last remaining sister) had passed away the previous day.  I can't be really sad since I never met her, although I am sad for that very reason.   Mum hadn't seen her for almost thirty years, since Evelyn had been poorly for quite a while and didn't like visitors plus we're not the most "visit-y" family anyway. 
Arriving home from Tesco late on the night of Friday 21st, three terribly drunk men wandered past our car (parked up in our front garden) and I found it absolutely PETRIFYING, as they stared straight at me, laughing, dancing and spitting everywhere.   One appeared to be dressed as a Red Indian, but I can't be sure!  I thought that was bad, but there was worse to come from the drunkards of Grotsville, as we would find out a couple of days later...
We took my nephew, Allan to Diggerland Theme Park in Kent on Saturday 22nd.  I've wanted to go there since it opened many years ago.  But my father never got around to taking me.  Still, having Allan with us, I was able to go on all the rides with him (Although two of the ride operators "insulted me" by asking if I was OVER TWELVE STONE (Do I really look that fat in the baggy clothing I'm made to wear?), and checking with me that there was no chance I could be pregnant  (Um...I don't *think* so somehow!  *Giggles* )  Still, it was really fun to get the chance to actually drive some real diggers, even if  Allan and I did get stuck in the mud a couple of times because I couldn't get my foot on the accelerator due to a large five-year-old sitting on my lap!  See pictures below, and I recommend these places to anyone who can get to one.  (There are several parks across the UK)  One word of warning though; If you have young children, DON'T GO NEAR THE GIFT SHOP!!!  Everything is VERY expensive, and every single child that goes in there appears to have a tantrum. (My ears are still ringing from Allan's "I want a vaaaaaaaaaaan!" for instance!)






(Totally out of context and off-topic here, but we sent Allan copies of these photos to stick on his bedroom wall if he wanted to.  He loves them, and even took them to school with him to show the teachers, but his first comment on me - the one who looks like an old woman with a red face [won't take my coat off because of my weight, even though I was too hot], the great big lines under my eyes and the weirdly-shaped fat legs behind him on most of the rides [God, I hate myself when there's a picture of me as I usually am in real life, without even the kiddies make-up and hair that's been combed for about ten hours pre-photographing to hid the way I have to be! ] - was "Why does Auntie Desesay never smile?"  Emma told him how I didn't like my teeth.  "Why?  Auntie Desesay is really pwetty!  Yessir!"  Well, thank you, Allan!  But not so great that he noticed I keep my mouth shut all the time.  That means other people must too.  The only reason I know Allan said this is because Mum was on the phone to Emma when this happened, and she passed the message on to me, in a kind of "See?  More people notice when you keep your mouth shut than when you show your ugly teeth.  Show them off, get used to them, and don't have an aneasthetic because the whole idea of that stresses ME!" kind of way.  Sorry, mother.  But I'm not taking the bait.  I shall keep my mouth firmly closed [on this matter and all others, it would appear] until further notice...when I get to a dentist who can refer me to an orthodontist, and get these teeth straightened!  No way am I giving up on my dreams just because operations stress YOU!  As a quote in my new profile layout - huh?  What do you mean you didn't notice?  I spent hours on that! - says "It's my life!  Now don't you ever forget that!"  OK, so they left the apostrophe out of "its/it's", but it was the best I could find to describe my situation...)
Nothing happened on Sunday.  My father overslept at the other house, so I didn't get to the last Epsom boot sale of the year (Which I'd been promised due to Mum's tantrum last time - remember her throwing a bowl at the car etc.?),Horseman's Sunday (Which we attend every year), and the Dog Show at Chiswick House and Park (Which we'd been looking forward to ever since hearing about it a few months back). So Mum decided she wasn't going out at all, since David had "let me down" over these things.  So we stayed in.  David went to work that night (Huh!  "Work"?  I don't think so...he wasn't actually *that* busy at that time) and Mum and I were just sitting in the front room in the awful artificial light as usual when the doorbell rang.   Immediately, I knew it was the drunks of Grotsville.  The doorbell rang again, slowly and in a menacing kind of way...   I shivered but tried to remain quiet so as to not alert them that we were in the house.  There was a loud cough and drunken voices talking to each other in a foreign language (Maybe Polish?  Couldn't hear it clearly).  I unplugged the computer, so that the phoneline would be free to ring the police if needed.  But then I realised the most terrifying of all - the  phone was out in the hall, the hall light was on, and we have a clouded glass front door, meaning they could see movement inside the house even if we couldn't see them.   They had the advantage.   We couldn't get upstairs to see who it was without going through the hall...  The doorbell rang a third time, sounding even more sinister.   I peered around the living room door, and saw a large shape standing on the doorstep.  David had even left the inner door open on his way out to work, so there was further chance of them seeing us if we went out there to get the phone!  Fortunately, right then, the mysterious and suspicious figures slunk away.   I didn't see how many of them there were, but it was quite a few...  From that moment on, we didn't do anything with our evening except sit by the phone.  Mum  occasionally rang David at the office, and I did a fair bit of screaching at him for not getting us out of this house before now, wanting to draw "perfectly straight lines" on the plans for the architect, AND forgetting to take the plans to Hunstanton where he said he's complete them.  Meanwhile, the drunks laughed and cackled and got more and more violent outside.  And then Dad announced he wasn't coming home that night.  Instead, HE was going to the safe house that he won't get on and get US moved to!  I couldn't believe my ears!  This area is getting more and more dangerous.  It wasn't that long ago that we had the last doorbell-ringing scare.   *Sighs, and looks at front door nervously, listening for the next unsavoury people to come ringing on the doorbell*
Having slept at the other house, David came home with a parcel that had been sent there by Mum's pony-finding family history e-pal, Jill.  It contained Balloon Flying Sweet Breeze (Hooray!  I kept mine MIB, and really wanted a loose one!), Pinkie Pie Squashy Washy (Another pony I only have MIB) and three fakies (Purple Pony Tails, Pink Asda Pony and Green Pony Club Foal). 
Because of the way David is with women, I won't wear tight clothing around him.  (Not sure what I'm going to do when I finally have a say in what I wear and want to bin all the baggy t-shirts.  I guess I'll be the free-as-a-bird Desiree Skylark by day, and imprisoned-wearing-concealing-clothing Desiree Alder by night when David comes home from work.  By the time he retires, I'll make sure I'm in VANCOUVER!!!)  Anyhow, back to the point, my pajamas are the only slightly tight clothing I wear, and they have really  baggy trousers (Kind of like I reverse my day clothes) which I hate wearing in a shared bed in case they work their way up my legs in the night and David comes in the room in the morning.  Anyhow, I don't want the mother I share the bed with to see my legs when I'm not even allowed to shave them in case "I cut myself"!!!
Basically though, I came out of the bathroom having changed, saw David looking up the stairs at me and SCREAMED aloud.  I couldn't help it, and that's what he's done to me.  I'm actually terrified of all men now, not just him.  I wish I could get out of here and start anew...  We didn't go out that day either.
On Tuesday 25th I finally got out again - to take Splodge to the vet to get his teeth trimmed.  This meant Dad was home early for once, and Mum thought we could go to TRU afterwards in search of my niece, Abigale's birthday present. (Her birthday is October 4th)  Ha!  Fat chance!  Mum had a whole list of jobs she hoped Dad would do, but one came before everything else - DRAWING THAT LINE ON THE ARCHITECT'S PLANS!!!  So David moaned and groaned, but reluctantly agreed to do it.  But you wouldn't believe the amount of excuses he came up with for NOT doing it!  First he had no pencil, then no eraser, then no ruler, then no flat surface to work on, then the house was too cold...the list went on.  When I had cut out every single one of his excuses, and he couldn't think of any more, he sat down and took THREE HOURS to draw a single line!   By which time, it was conveniently too late to do anything else.  However, the line was drawn and the plans posted through the architect's door.  Now just to wait for his response.  We expect him to be difficult though, since David has taken so long to get back to him and we didn't use any of his plans...
The following day we did get to TRU.  Didn't get anything for Abigale though, since we saw some good offers on stuff other than what we'd been instructed to get, and we wanted to check with Emma if Abigale already had the stuff or not.   I did get her a Disney Princess birthday card though, and we discovered that all of the ponies were on a 3 for 2 offer.  Mum tried to get David to get me some as a surprise for Christmas, but being the idiot that he is, I had to pick out my own gifts - Lily Lightly's with both bonus ponies, and Style and Decorate Starcatcher.  I can't wait for December 25th!!!
As he tried to rush us through the checkout,  I noticed an orange plush pony sitting right next to us.  It was Sparkleworks, the very plushie I wasn't able to find when I wanted to buy her!   On impulse, I shoved her on the conveyer belt, not thinking about how much she cost.  Luckily, she was only a fiver.  Less lucky was that this meant we didn't get either Lily Lightly free, as Sparkleworks became our free pony instead, so we lost £8! 
So David kicked up stink and returned Sparkleworks, and then went around and bought her again.   Mum and I went outside and wished a whole in the ground would open up and swallow us!   Sparkleworks did come home with us though!  In fact, this week turned out to be quite a "Pony Plushie Week".
Thursday 27th - Mum and I went to Wembley by bus, wanting to use my Oyster card while travel is still free. (It ran out yesterday, and we can't extend it because I'm not in full-time education...or any education, for that matter) The charity shops were totally MLP-less, although there were four Asda fakies and a felt-covered blue horse (Somebody had scraped his eyes out of his head!  OUCH!) in Oxfam, but I didn't buy them.  They've got a huge MLP selection in Woolworths there and I saw the Ponyville Delivery Set for the first time, but I didn't buy that either.  However, in Poundstretchers I saw an ENORMOUS plush pony sitting on the shelf.  A JUMBO PLUSH FLUTTERSHY!   Exactly like the Toola Roola and Sweet Song who were in TRU for £25 each!  And she was only £10, supposedly reduced from just £20?!?!?!   Anyway, I snapped her up, and carried her all the way around the rest of Wembley and back to the bus stop.  I haven't got the money for her though, so she's being saved for me for Christmas, but I'm still very pleased to know I "have" her upstairs somewhere. Sadly, the rest of the shelf around her was empty, so I was pretty sure there must have been others there earlier - probably there was at least one more in the set, if not two.
Friday 28th - My Myspace friend/pony pal Grace's birthday.   I wanted to send her an e-card and put birthday messages all over the net, but the phoneline packed up and I only did all my birthday greeting business quite late in the evening.  I hope you had a great day, Grace, since I haven't seen you online  since...
On Saturday 29th we went to the open day at St. Mary's Church, Ealing, where my Grandparents got married.  It's a beautiful church although Mum thinks they've "modernised it a bit too much".  We paid £2 each to climb the tower, but then Mum and I chickened out of climbing it!  The spiral stairs were just too narrow and dark with nothing but the brick walls to hold on to.  David went up to the top, but we stayed in he Belfry and rang the bell.  Mum keeps telling me how I was "all red in the face" and "kept shooting up in the air along with the bell" while she "was really good at it - the man told her so".  Well, I got a certificate and she didn't, so there!  HA!   We had overslept and got there late, so Mum kept telling me how I had probably missed loads of rare ponies from the second-hand stall, but I don't think so. They didn't seem to have sold much.  I did find two 1980s Rainbow Brite figures, and Mum bought a cuddly dog, whom she forced me to carry around, while a man (The friendly kind that live in the area I want to move to) kept teasing me that the dog had bitten his finger!   Gosh, does my mother ever stop embarrassing me?!
Then we went on to the new house where we found another package from Mum's pony-finding family history e-pal had been LEFT OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN!  Stupid Royal Mail!!!  Luckily, the UK Bow Tie inside the envelope was OK.  We did about an hour of clearing out, and then were dragged back to this house so that David could go to "Work" and leave us in the drunk-infested road once more.
Yesterday, we all overslept again, "Thanks to me talking to my bl**dy Canadian friends all night".  (My mum's words, not mine! ) This meant I "wasted the last boot sale day this year".  As far as I knew, there was no offer of a car boot anyway, just Apple Day at Audley End.  We gave up  on Audley End, and instead set off for an afternoon car boot sale in Hatfield - which we discovered wasn't on.  So we decided to try Stevenage afternoon car boot sale...but all the motorways were closed off due to a tiny little accident.  The stupid police don't bother to keep roads open and avoid trouble any more. 
David wanted to go to yet another stately home instead (Can't even remember which one!), but Mum insisted we went to the Galleria Shopping Centre instead...in search of Christmas presents for Emma's kids.  Reluctantly, Dad agreed.  Mum and I rushed straight to the toy shop, and found it was no longer the cheap shop we remember, instead everything was "reduced" to the RRP!!!  So, for instance, a £20 toy was "reduced" from twenty five to twenty.
However, something caught my eye in the window...


So that's the whole set - Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and PINKIE PIE!!!  Inside there were only two Fluttershy's and a Rainbow Dash though.  A kid was carrying the last Pinkie around the shopping centre by her leg!  And they were  £15 as opposed to ten...but I really wanted that Pinkie Pie...
We bought some Weebles for Kizzy for Christmas, and I bought a little TY keyring; Twitch the guinea pig.  As we left the shop, I looked back at Pinkie Pie in the window.  Maybe it was worth asking at least.  "Have you got any more of the dark pink plush My Little Ponies in the back?  Like the one in the window?"  The woman behind the counter looked at me.  "There's one in the window?" She asked.  "Tell me which one, and I'll get her out for you!"
And so, yet another plush pony has joined my herd and she is so, so, SO pretty and PINK!  I adore her!  I couldn't really afford her, and now I've got no money saved for the MLP Convention, but I just couldn't resist a Pinkie Pie!   I'm so pleased to have a photograph of her in the shop window too.  I'm odd like that...  "Little things please little minds", as my mum would say.
Before we left, I took some pictures of the coin operated children's rides there...



(Any idea who "Jasper The Steam Engine" is?  Oh, the ignorance that comes from having no children around and only five stations on the TV! )
And then we went in TKMaxx.  I got another lecture from my mum about how I WOULDN'T wear skinny-fit cap-sleeved t-shirts, even if I found any MLP ones there.  Well, I've news for you, mother.  I WILL wear them IF we ever get out of this house, whatever YOU think!!!  Stupid parents.

Next we wandered to the toy aisles.  There were only Puzzlemint's there though - nothing really worth looking at.  The same Weebles we'd just bought at about half the price!  AGH!  And then I noticed two horrible kids sitting on the floor.  At first I thought they were doing as all the kids around shops seem t do these days, treating the place as a library, reading the sales books.  But it was even worse than that - they were purposefully damaging the books!  The youngest girl was sitting on the floor with a MLP book I hadn't seen before, systematically folding and tearing all of the pages!  Then she threw the book down on the floor, walked over it twice, and jumped up and down on top of it!  It was a Dancing In The Clouds Book complete with DVD...anyone heard of it?  It was far too damaged to buy by the time she'd finished with it, and there were no more there.  Where on Earth were this despicable creature's parents?  I made it quite clear what I thought of the two kids, and they didn't even have the decency to look at me, and continued tearing up pop-up books.  I just cannot believe the lack of respect in this awful country these days!
As for today, well, nothing much has happened.  It was Evelyn's funeral, but Dad decided he was far too busy at "Work" to take her to such an un-important event.  He was supposed to be coming in early to go and do some more clearing out at the house...so I didn't continue singing like I usually would.  Instead, I came downstairs, ate some quick spaghetti on toast (Minus cheese - David had eaten it all last night - his disgusting habit of taking bites out of a large hunk of cheese is really getting too much now! ), and waited for him to come...and waited...and waited...
Eventually, he came in at 7pm!  EARLY???  "I got busy at work" he says.  Right, so what about our lives?  We can't even start to live until we move!  On November 15th half of my teens will be gone.  It's heart-breaking to think I've wasted all this time out of my life.   Now the pair of them are doing more ancestry.   Mum tried to bring up the subject of the house, but David turned it into a stupid argument  as usual.  Apparently, "I'm a little b*tch for keeping on about it", and Mum "keeps carping on and bothering him".  *Sighs*  Oh, and when asked where he was going to sleep once the bed was moved out of the house and the builders FINALLY moved in?  Well, "The little b*tch will have to accept you back in the bed".  (Said to my mum)  Why am I a little b*tch?  I said I wasn't sleeping with my mum after my sixteenth birthday.  (Too much to ask, eh?  Who else wants their own bed at sixteen?! )  I've already got her in my bed alternate nights (Just about to go to the "communal bed" with her now in fact. )  And they keep conning me out of extra nights too...  Now it looks like he's in no hurry to move the builders in, and I'm going to be at least SEVENTEEN before we move...so no way of being MYSELF before then...no make-up, no nice clothes, no education, no job, no way of making money to get out of here and go to VANCOUVER!!!    But blast it, I'm going.  Even if I can't become a voice artiste, I'm going.  No way am I staying in stupid England with my evil parents and the nasty kids ripping up books in shops.  I'm just fighting back the tears now.  I hate my father and the way he snarls all these evil things at me.   He also says I should "get a life and go to college from here" (When I'm not allowed to even leave the house alone, the vast majority of women - even those experienced in going out and about on their own - are staying in their houses after the events of the past couple of months, and I have very little secondary school education because he failed to move near a secondary school?  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET INTO COLLEGE?! )
Oh well, just when things seemed to be looking up, they're all going down again.  Hope at least some of you managed to read all of this.  I warned you it was going to be massive.  But I promise I'll keep this blog updated daily from now on, and then there won't be any more massively long posts.  Bear with me...something's got to turn up in the end, and then I won't be so miserable all the time.  COME ON, SKYLARK!!!  LET'S SEE YOU SPREAD YOUR WINGS AND FLY!!!

Best wishes,

Desiree Skylark  (AKA "The-girl-with-the-very-tired-fingers")

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