Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Private Stuff... (AKA "I Need Advice - Please Read")

Current mood:  sad

Well, private to my family, at least.  Not to my friends.
I just need to have a little rant.  I'm not sure how many of you have been told of the recent Emma/Facebook palava?  Well, for those who haven't heard here is a quick rundown.
Soon after returning from Iceland, Emma asked Mum to ask me (confusing, huh?) about Facebook.  Apprently, she had seen a couple of old schoolfriends on there, and wanted to know how much she could find out about them without letting them know she'd been snooping.
Admittedly, I took a week to send her our Iceland photos, as I was making a few changes to this page, knowing she usually comes and reads my blog when I e-mail her, following the link in my Hotmail signature.  Meanwhile Mum kept telling her I "never got around to writing to her, because I was writing to all my friends (you lot) instead", and annoying Emma.
Anyways, I finally wrote to her late on Thursday night, a friendly letter, answering her questions the best I could, even though I've really only used my account to join a couple of groups for saving the TV show "Intelligence", and signing a petition for the same cause.  I have added a few friends on there, but as they will know, I rarely use the site.  Still, I tried my best.
Emma responded to me on Friday, and as well as thanking me for the Facebook information, asked me to go shopping with her:
"I hear you'd like to go shopping but have know one to go with - i'm in the same boat - shopping with four kids who get bored after two seconds and need the loo every five plus there's my fat arse, well how about we piss Mum off and go together? we could have a nice Sister's day and get to know each other better - i won't tell you what to buy but i will tell you if i think it looks crap and you can do the same for me.
You be doing a favour as i could do with going out without the kids for once.
I could meet you somewhere and we could travel on where's good for you? where would you like to go?

I'm not so bad  - I'm not like Mum, i'm very easy going and and like a giggle - say no if you want i'm not going to pressure you but it would be nice to know what my little sister is like and if your nosey like me you might want to know what i'm like.
OK, I thought.  Well, I HAVE been wanting to talk to her away from my parents for once, although I don't really see the need to keep digging at Mum like that.  Excuse the slight language there.  My family are kind of common, as you know.
Anyways, Emma didn't write to Mum until that night, obviously in a bad mood.  She has just asked for a very expensive christening present for Gabriella which we've had to say we can't afford though, so that may be part of the reason...  Also, another little news snippet I forgot to tell you all, because David is the only one in this household who works, hence the one who's putting a lot of money into Woodberry, the house has to be put jointly in his and Mum's name, despite the fact the house was left to Mum by her great uncle, which translated to Emma means she might not get the same cut as I will, because she's not David's daughter.  Hasn't Mum even written her will yet?! 
But, it appears Emma was in a bad mood about something else in this case:
"I have repiled to Desiree - if she answers me i'll be shocked.

I have told she can come shopping with me - i will come and get her and see her home safely as i know you think she will be taken by aliens - hit by a bus or lose her way!

I don't think she will want to come with me anyway i'm to old but i'd like it if she did- it would be nice if we were friends - why did you tell i read her blog? i asaked you not to!

And No she didn't tell me i read her blog about Iceland and it was on there along with the throwing of bioculars!"
Oh dear.  I went off guard for one moment, and caused so much trouble.  This is the clip from my blog which Emma must have read (now been edited, so that's why you can't find it)...
"You do know what I wanted to do, because Emma has told you just about everything that's written in my blog, which includes all my hopes and dreams.  It's just not something you'd WANT me to do, so you ignore it.  Maybe you're scared I would have had the talent.  I don't know..." 
O...K...  SO.  I slipped up.  Mum told me in confidence that Emma had read my blog, as you know.  Although I was the one who invited Emma in the first place, hoping she would get my dreams across to Mum, Emma doesn't want me to know she's read it, probably because she mixed in all those lies she told Mum about how I was going to get David arrested for abusing me, and said Mum wasn't allowing me out, etc. etc.  I never said Mum wasn't allowing me out, I said I don't WANT to leave this house alone.  (Beer Can Man - as we call him - was walking down the street, vomiting as he went, this morning.  Then he went in a shop that sells edible goods...still vomiting on the floor!  Would you want to walk round alone in an area packed with people as drunk as that?!  Nobody even looks up at the wretching sounds anymore!)
I kind of lied to Mum and said I hadn't written anything that could lead Emma to believe Mum had told me my sister read my blog...  Confused, Mum didn't say anything to Emma about that situation, and instead only mentioned me for these two paragraphs.
"She will write back - like next year probably

The aliens are welcome to her.    She's perfectly capable of getting on a bus herself - she just doesnt want to.  She wont walk from the bus stop to the house in Perivale - thats why she had me stooging round Ealing for 2 hours while she met I could come home with her on the bus"
BUT a couple of letters later, Mum DID ask Emma what she was on about.  Emma's answer?
None.  Zilch.  Nought.  Zero.  Absolutely nothing.
I guess Emma was equally confused when she returned to my blog and found that line was gone...
Still, that was only a one off problem.  Emma was back to normal by the following day.  The trouble really started this week.
My sister signed up to Facebook, and started sending friend requests to the very people she'd asked me how much she could find out about WITHOUT them knowing she'd been looking at them.  Hmm...
She then starts adding her old boyfriends, of all people, and proudly writing to Mum and I about it.  I think Nick was more than a little upset by this point, and started his own Facebook with their joint e-mail account.  That was when it occured to me to look at Emma's Facebook e-mail address.  It would appear she has a new one, which she hasn't given to Mum and I.  I guess she just wants to keep her letters to her ex-boyfriends away from her current husband.
THEN the next lot of trouble comes up.  You know the story of how Emma's father wrote to Mum on her family history site, right?  And how she didn't answer him?  Well, on Monday his sister-in-law, Karen's daughter, Angela (Mum has been a penfriend to Karen since they were teenagers - she was the one who got me my original car boot sale ponies, and must have sent me hundreds of MLPs throughout the years!  I have also been her penfriend, up until we stopped hearing from her a few months back ) shows up and requests us both as friends!  Er...right now?  Just when Emma signs up?  I must admit we became a little suspicious.
I looked at Angela's friends list on there, and find various other family members, including Claire, Fred (Emma's father)'s daughter!  Claire is obviously Emma's half sister (same as I am), if you can get your head around that.  Alarm bells began ringing, and sadly Mum has had a few digs at Emma trying to find out whether she was in touch with the family.  I don't think that Emma was.
All right, so the business about me and my sister meeting up to go shopping continues.  For once, she finally seems to be talking to me in a friendly way (although I'm still suspicious, especially with her keep ranting about Mum), we were planning the trip, and I was getting quite excited.  She'll be back at work from maternity leave in September, so we really needed to go in the next few weeks.  We decided to go just after Emma got paid for the month.
The argument between Mum and Emma about Facebook continues to rage.  Mum tells Emma that Angela has written to us, wanting to "keep a step ahead of her and her dodgy dealings".  She tells her that Claire is on Angela's friend list, and keeps warning Emma not to put photos of the kids online, as we don't want her father's family seeing them.  So today, Emma writes to her and says:
"Well i looked on face book Angela can see that i'm on your friends as well Desiree's but you can't tell who's been looking at your friends list - i have no photo and haven't put any of the kids on either Nick has so i tell all my friends to look at his profile - no one know's i'm married to Nick unless i tell them so they can't see me kids and know their mine if that makes sense! it sounds horrid but i did it for this very reason and Nick love him understands.

I looked up claire to see what she looks like you can view her photo's - and guess where most of them were taken Di's 60th (i guess that's fred's Wife) she got married in June and the kids are called Ellie and Alex - she doesn't know how to keep her profile private!"
Mum couldn't undestand why Emma would want to look at Claire's profile.  I think that Emma is curious about her father's family, and thought Mum would understand that with her family history interest.  But apparently not.
Mum then turns to ME and asks why we couldn't see Claire's profile.  Yes, the Facebook expert who knows NOTHING about the site has to step in again.  I remembered how I was able to access someone's account for an entire month after they wrote to me on there, even though I wasn't their friend (One reason I distrust that site!).  So I suggested that maybe Claire had written to Emma.
Mum went crazy, and starts tappity-tapping an angry letter to Emma, saying:
"Well I don't understand Facebook, but something funny is going on

Claire's profile is private to US but not to you???
Desiree reckons you must be in contact with a (Insert Fred's family name here) to get into Claires profile if we can't?

Oh God, I hate Facebook.   It's all too public.    Be VERY careful of Nick putting photos on there if you don't want Fred to see them......I wouldn't put it past Fred not to know your married name if he is into family history - your marriage details are easy to look up.

You wouldn't write to Claire and not tell me, would you?  Desiree cant think how else Claires profile is open to you and not to us???"
About halfway through her writing that letter (of course I couldn't see what she was writing - I've only found all of this by snooping later on, needing to know the details in order to deal with this latest family situation), I thought about how sometimes you can see people's profiles if you're in the same network.  I tried to tell Mum this, but she was so mad she wouldn't stop typing until itn was too late and she hit the submit button.
So basically she has openly accused me of saying something I had merely suggested before I had a chance to think.  She didn't recieve a reply until this evening, which reads (full version here, although I may censor a couple of words - the language is pretty awful by this point)
"Well you can Desiree to check her facts first before engaging her mouth and her opinions - if you want to know something ASK ME! no i'm not in contact with any (Fred's family name) you were the one who told ME about the Angela and Claire being on face book - i don't know how i could open her profile i just did and i TOLD you.

I don't think she looks anything like me neither does Nick but you have always thrown the fact that i look more like a
 (family name) in my face! i am so sick of this (family name) thing -it keeps coming up - to hell with the lot of them - Claire think's she's got a wonderful Dad well we know the truth so she's the hard done by one not us.

None of the
 (Family name)'s have ever tried to contact me nor i them - i have no photo on face book but i guess your know that because i guess Desiree will have been checking it out along with my friends list - yes Nick's on face book but no photo's of me but i guess your have checked that too.

I can't stop Nick putting the kids photo's on his page/profile their his kids.

It was Desiree who wanted me to join face book in the first place i was only on their to look for old friends.

I have been up front about everything but you are always accusing me of stuff i haven't done when it comes to the
(family name)'s you and Desiree can gang up and believe what you want i'm feed up with it, and to be honest it's f***ing hurtful.

I have worked so hard this past week to make Emma think I'm a normal person who she might actually want to know rather than te freak she's always thought I was.  In her last e-mail to me (sent at noon, just before Mum went and said all of that) she says about the shopping trip, "Ok i'll get a date and we'll go."  I was so close to finally speaking to her as a friend, rather than all this constant arguing and backbiting.  And now Mum has messed it up again.
What concerns me most is the thing about me "wanting her to join Facebook in the first place" though.  I told you the story on here.  She asked Mum to ask me about Facebook.  I never mentioned it to her.  In fact, I only ever e-mail her when we've seen her, and usually don't get a response.  And I have never said a word about Facebook before she asked.  She wouldn't even know I was on there, except that I mentioned my account when I tried to give her details of the site (She requested me as a friend soon after she joined, by the way).  I now fear someone hacked my Facebook account and invited her, but I expect she won't speak to me again now
*Sighs*  Oh, whatever should I do about this one?
Ah, and one other thing I should mention while this is private.  I've been wanting to brag for about two weeks now, but because of Emma, I haven't been able to say.  I'm going away for my 18th a place that Emma was promised she was going when she was about my age, hence why I haven't said anything where she could read it.  She's going to go mad when she finds out so we're going to have to tell her at the right time.
Anyways, enough of that.  The flights are booked, the coach at the other end is booked, the hotels are booked - we're officially going this time.  Where, you may ask?
Yep, I will officially be on the West Coast of America on my 18th birthday.  San Fransisco to be precise.  I am so excited, you wouldn't imagine.  My heart is really fluttering!  It's a dream come true for me.
Anyways, I must get to bed.  Otherwise, I may die of exhaustion and never make it to Cali anyway.
Thanks for reading my long rant, and my kind of annoying brag,

xxx Desiree Skylark  xxx(who wants to change her Myspace extended network box, and hates her computer for not allowing her to do so!)

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