Saturday, 20 September 2008

Aww, but we all need to add some sensation to our boring lives, don't we?

Current mood:  amused
More of the Mum/Emma e-mail saga.  Please ignore if you can't stand any more of my moaning about things I shouldn't even have read!
Mum ranted to Emma and her friend, Jill, about the extension.  They seem  just as confused by this "seeing the garden from all angles" as I was.  Mum had me send them both some photos of the place, and they can't see anything wrong with it.  Of course, Emma is quite obviously jealous.  I don't think I mentioned the things she said when we let her have a look around the place, did I?  Reason being that was a public blog and I thought she'd probably come nosing.  Oh well, this is private, and right now I don't really care if I hurt any feelings, so I might as well repeat some of it in this blog.
First off, I "shouldn't be complaining about not getting a bedroom until I'm 17 - she didn't have one until she was 13!" Er, but at least you had your own bed all your life, Emma.  I would have happily taken a single bed of my own in the communal bedroom.
She then started on at Mum about dying/writing her will again.  "And even when you carp it, Desiree will still be here!  Then I can kick her out or she'll have to get a mortgage."  She then started CACKLING.  That's the only way I can describe her laughter.  I told her "I'll be long gone by then, you'll be pleased to know." which only made her cackle more.  Even Nick had to make a comment about it this time.  "Well, are you going to push them both down the stairs then.  Then you won't even have to wait for the house!"  He rolled his eyes at Mum and I behind Emma's back.  What kind of woman actually waits for her mother to die just so that she can get her hands on part of a house and kick her sister out?
Since then, she's picked on everything.  I'll "get bored with the colours I've chosen for my bedroom - they're little girl colours."  I want lavender walls, rose pink woodwork and a blue ceiling.  Maybe they are little girl colours, but I chose them when I was a little girl, and have waited this long to use them.  At the end of the day, who asked Emma's opinion on MY ROOM?!
All right, Mum did.  Just as she asked her about this extension.  Emma gets involved in everything, it would appear.  Even though she's just about as jealous and greedy as can be over this house.
Which brings me around to the latest tale of e-mail lies between Emma and Mum.  I heard the tell-tale pause when Mum read out part of Emma's latest bitter letter this morning.  So I decided to find out what was going on.
It would appear that tucking a blanket underneath a parent you have to sleep next to in bed is a serious crime.  I already mentioned how she told David I "attacked her".  Well, it gets even more sensational for Emma.  In fact, it's the only reason she's moving to this house that she hates so much (Can't just say that we can't afford to do anything else, and actually don't hate it that much anyway, can we?  That would be telling the boring truth!)
So here is Mum's version of the story:
"We've been having dreadful rows about that bloody extension and she ended up beating me up again.  She's got a screw loose - I'm so scared of being hit that I give in to her all the time."
I've beaten her up?!  My goodness, I have some strength, don't I?  And she's so scared of my super human strength too!
Emma hates me anyway, of course.  I'm her rival in getting the all important inheritance from her mother, who is currently alive, well and uninteresting.  So she chuffs up to Mum...or maybe she actually believes all this nonsense.  Anyways, she wrote this message which I think actually borders on hilarious!
"All this Desiree stuff gets my temper going i don't understand why she gets such a say - i never would have, all this getting her own room at 17 woe is me crap - i didn't get my own room until i was 13! and i never had the freedom of choosing furniture and where it went - i hated the brown carpet and was told though it was your house and it wasn't being changed! She can't go though life being "i don't get my own way i'll hit out" if she goes for you again she'll have me on her case. She needs to get out into the real word and grow up! i will not have her hitting you - and why the hell doesn't David do something???"
Right, let's take this step by step.  She's on about the terrible fact that she didn't have her own room until she was a whole five years younger than I'll be by the time I get mine.  (It was actually a couple of months before her 13th birthday when she moved here).  That means that my case is "woe is me crap".  You know what?  She had a life too - friends, education...  What would she have done if she were me?  I just do not know.  The fact she wasted her youth on boys and alcohol is not my fault.
She had a fitted bedroom, so couldn't choose furniture.  That's true.  But I'm only getting furniture that we already have from one of the three houses (this one, my grandparents' place and Woodberry), so I don't actually get to "choose" it.  I'm sure I wouldn't be getting a new carpet either, except that all the old ones were ripped out of Woodberry.
And oh dear, if I go for her again (even though I DIDN'T go for her this time!) I'm going to have the dreaded EMMA on my case.  I am so scared.  I'm sitting here trembling in fact.  What might she do next?  Claim I have a crush on every boy in the area?  That's about her limit, I think.
And yes, Emma.  As a matter of fact, I'm longing to "get out into the real world and grow up".  Being stuck in this prison is no fun at all.  Why don't you grow up and stop playing around on Facebook for five seconds?  You are ignoring four children while you're online, you know?
All right, rant over.  I'm supposed to be up early tomorrow and it's gone 1am!  I just can't take any more of these rubbish lies and silly threats.  Although the threats are more likely to make me die laughing than anything else!   Idiot.
Desirée Skylark  xxx

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