Friday, 17 October 2008

"Oh no..."?!?!?!? Don’t you mean "FIRE!"?



Current mood:  scared
I haven't had much of a chance to get on Myspace this week.  We went to Bury St. Edmunds and Lawshall for more family history research yesterday, and tonight we went to Mum's monthly family history meeting.  All in all, probably not the stuff you come to this blog to read about.  Well, unless you want to know about my crazy mother walking across a graveyard, calling "Abraham, I'm here!  Ooh, the churchbells are ringing - it's an omen!"
No, you're here to read my latest near-disaster stories, aren't you?!  Today Mum went to get the first hot water bottle of the day (She's always cold!), and found our gas hob wasn't working.  Hence, no hot water bottles or cooking anything in saucepans until we move house.
David, being the idiot that he is, decided that he wasn't going to be beaten.  He would light the gas and get the hob working again!  But we had no matches...  Mum and I sadly came into the lounge and started thinking about what to do, while David (we thought) got himself some bread and butter.
Suddenly, we heard David clanging about in the kitchen.  "Oh no..." He muttered.  "What?" Mum and I asked in unison, not liking the tone of his voice.  "Oh dear..."  "WHAT?!" We repeated.  "Oh no..."  "WHAT'S GOING ON?!"  We yelled.  "Oh, God!" David said to himself.  "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I cried, suddenly smelling smoke.
I ran out into the kitchen to see TWO of the burners alight; the one which has always been faulty (meaning we never use it), and the one we hadn't been able to get working earlier that day.
Flames were SHOOTING from the faulty burner, but David was nowhere near it!  Instead, he was standing near the back door, surrounded by smoke, with flames licking from our rubbish, and actually melting the black sack!  He held a small blue cup in his hand, which he kept slowly filling with water from a trickling tap, and delicately pouring the contents onto the flames.   I shouted to Mum, "He's going to burn the house down!"  All right, maybe I was over-reacting, but at the time I honestly thought the whole house was going to go up in smoke.
I started to scream "FIRE!  FIRE!  FIRE!" at the top of my voice at nobody in particular, and ran to plug in the phone, ready to ring 999 if the need arose.
Meanwhile, Mum (who has far more sense than me, it would seem) ran past me, grabbed a bucket of water (the one we normally use to flush our broken toilet), and threw it all over the black sack of flames...not to mention David and his little blue cup.  It was several minutes before anyone noticed the burners, and turned them off though! 
It turned out David had lit the faulty burner, set a piece of KITCHEN TOWEL alight using the naked flame from that burner, lit the other burner, and then thrown the towel straight in the rubbish bag without putting out the fire.  Stupid, stupid man!
Now I'm just scared that he's going to try it again while we're in bed.
On a lighter note, when David went to the local storage depot to organise more of his books, I tried to make a new recording.  I was working in a time limit before dinner, so I admit it's pretty bad.  But hey, I only heard this song for the first time on Saturday night, am working with pretty awful equipment, and trying to do far too many voices in one recording.  In a perfect world, I'd have put two or more recordings together, but I haven't got the software to do that, so...  For now, this will have to do.
Try A New Colour On For Size
It's a song from the MLP Live Show, "The World's Biggest Tea Party", for those who don't know.  Note, I did not write this song, nor do I have permission from any of the original performers to use this song.  Please don't throw me in prison for copyright infringement!  I'm just a wannabe voice artiste who can't seem to teach herself in such a time limit, with her Mum keep telling her to "Stop listening to a kiddy show.  Is it some kind of escapism to listen to all those squeaky voices?"  No, just a dream, mother.  But I guess you don't understand the art of VA'ing, do you?!
Hmm, I think that's all for now.  Speak to you all soon!

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