Monday, 12 January 2009

Travels With a Biscuit Bully ~ Part Three

Current mood:  forgotten

Next to Trier!  Mum kept happily chattering all the way about how Germany would be the ninth country she'd visited in 2008...  We were here for the Christmas market, which was supposedly even bigger than the one we had just walked around in Luxembourg.  But, of course, Mum wanted to do sightseeing as well!  And what better way than to travel on the sightseeing train?


We enjoyed a very interesting 40 minute tour.  The only problem was that the commentary was in three different languages, and by the time we reached the English commentary on each individual place of interest, we had passed the place.  But then I guess that's only to be expected in a non-English speaking country really.
After unboarding the train, we went in the local Tourist Information Centre, where we bought a tiny little cheap and nasty souveneir ornament.  Yep, we did the "annoying tourist" act, giving in and buying a piece of rubbish for our cabinet.  Mum being an even more annoying tourist, by loudly proclaiming how she "hates the Germans because they're too tall"...   I thought she was about to start World War III!
We wandered along the road to the Christmas market; another pretty little place filled with festive cheer.


Mum still had an upset stomach, so couldn't even think of eating anything from the market, despite being starving, so of course, I wouldn't eat either.  David, however, wasn't going to go without "just because she was being stupid".  So he bought himself an apple waffle, which looked delicious.  Mum got upset that she couldn't eat one, and didn't understand why she couldn't buy one to take back to the hotel and eat in the evening.  So she and David ended up shouting and swearing at each other across the market.  David pointed out that she "hadn't allowed him" to drink anything.  I'm not really sure what he was on about there.  It would have been kinder to drink in front of her than eat something she actually would have liked to eat herself if not for her health.
When they had finally concluded their argument, we proceeded to the cathedral, which Mum really wanted to see.  (Yes, another one!  Mum was definitely in a cathedral mood that day!)  By this point, she was so hungry that she kept smuggling biscuits - the only thing she would dare to eat with her stomach - from her bag and stuffing them in her mouth.  I pointed out that we were surrounded by "Eating and drinking is prohibited" signs, but she said she didn't care.  Surely God wouldn't mind her eating within the walls - "it wasn't like she was making a commotion...or eating a takeaway meal for that matter, just a small dry  biscuit!"  I couldn't help but laugh at her quietly crunching biscuits and trying to make it look as if she wasn't chewing...
I tried to snap a photo of her, but just caught her silly "butter wouldn't melt" grin.  I'm not quite sure why David was studying the map so intently, but it makes for an interesting picture.


After leaving the cathedral, we headed back to the main shopping street via the market.  There wasn't really much point looking around though because we didn't have any spending money.  We did see quite a "famous person" doing his shopping though.


So now we know where he gets all the presents from!  And I thought he was overworking those poor elves asthe population increased and children became more and more greedy year by year.
Actually, I believe that the only shop we went in was Woolworths (or Woolworth as it was known over there), so judging by recent events - more about that in future blogs for those of you who somehow haven't heard about the downfall of one of our greatest stores - I doubt we'd be going in any shops in Trier now.  There might have been other interesting shops further down the road, but we didn't have time to walk very far before we had to head back towards the coach again.
Someone was late back to the coach, so unfortunately for us we got stuck in full view of the driver and "tour guide", meaning they decided to talk to us.  Insult us, that is.
"So did you have a good time?" Paul asked us.  We smiled and nodded...well, David and I did anyway.  Mum kind of scowled.  "Did you find anything good to eat?"  "No, we didn't." Mum said.  This followed on from an earlier conversation which I can't quite remember, regarding us being vegetarians, so Paul already knew that about us.  "They do these great roast potatoes - you should have tried them."  I could practically see Mum's mouth watering because she was so hungry!  "Where were these?" she asked.  Paul told her which stall had been selling them at the market, then added, "They taste great...with mushrooms and bacon..."  Mum pointed out that we couldn't eat bacon, being vegetarians.  "You hardly taste the bacon, honestly!"  "That's not the point.  We don't refrain from meat because of the taste - we don't believe in eating animals." I said.  I can't remember where the conversation went after that, but I know it turned pretty nasty.  And then on top of everything else, Paul started talking about how he also hunts in his spare time, presumably to inflame us further.  But don't worry, he only shoots elderly deer...and you know, they start to suffer when they get old.  "All their teeth fall out, and then they starve to death after seven years of not being able to eat."  Who the heck told him that?!  The best bit was when he later started talking to Glenn about shooting Canada geese.  I guess they starve to death seven years after all their teeth fall out too?   Oh, and another of his stupid remarks: "if you refuse to eat meat, why do you bother to come on holiday?"!  All right, I know trying the favoured dishes in different countries is a big deal for some people, but we want to SEE the places, even if we don't eat all the food.  Just shut up and get a life already!
I actually recorded the end of the conversation, so you can hear their nasty bullying towards us.  I especially love the bit where Glenn starts talking about brittle bones.  You don't get brittle bones from being vegetarian!  Maybe if we were vegan and didn't eat the right foods to get enough calcium or something...  Idiots.  Anyways, here's the recording.  Note how Paul even noticed my camera flashing in my bag ("Has your phone gone off or something?"), meaning I had to stop recording.  God, he was up to every little trick.
We weren't the only ones they were picking on.  Since it was a Christmas trip, they were playing Christmas CDs all the time we were on the coach.  There was an older lady named Beryl sitting some way behind us, and she had a beautiful singing voice.  Every time the carols started up, we got a live soprano performance from behind.  She wasn't particularly performing for the crowds though, she was just having a laugh with her friend.  But Paul KEPT picking on her with cries of, "Are you going to sing for us again, Beryl?", "Come on, Beryl!  It's your part!", "Want the microphone, Beryl?" etc.  It was truly awful the way they were talking to her (especially considering they had lost their way and almost not reached the hotel the first day, and it was Beryl and her friend who had guided them there!), and I could hear her getting more and more downhearted as the trip went on.
Oh well, soon enough we were back at the hotel...and talking of singing, tonight was music night at the restaurant.  And the man who owned the hotel was going to dress up as Elvis.  Maybe this was what Mum needed to tempt her downstairs to actually eat something?
It's kind of late now, so I shall leave you hanging for now.  But don't worry.  You can find out all about the music night in the next installment of "Travels With a Biscuit Bully"!
Best wishes,
Desirée Skylark  xxx

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