Sunday, 15 February 2009

I Miss Splodge. :(

Current mood:  irritated

Aha!  Yay, yay, yay!  Advanced editing is back!!!  And I'm so used to using it that I didn't even notice until I was about a paragraph into this blog.  (That's a celebratory "Amused" smiley, by the way)
<3  Happy Valentines Day, everybody! <3  They seem to be hyping it up way more than ever before this least in this country.  But it doesn't really mean a lot when you're single (and perfectly happy to be so).  So I have been spending my day thinking of my poor little Splodge, who had to be put to sleep exactly a year ago today.  I still miss my little boy as much as the day I left me - most people know I'm not the most religious person in the world, but I truly hope he is in a better place and we will meet again someday.
I know everyone's probably sick of seeing this picture by now, but it's one of the nicest I have of Splodge, and it's important to me that I give him this little space in my blog on my first anniversary of being without him.

Hope you're having fun in Rainbow Land with your guinea pig pals, Splodgekin!
Anyways, I shan't hesitate on this subject, as I'm just making myself feel even sadder now.  Instead, let's move on with the catch-up blogging!  We're almost there now!
February 9th 2009
Another fabulously exciting day locked up in Grottsville.  David went for yet another hopeless job interview up London in the afternoon.  The worst bit is that since he's lost his travelcard (he should get free travel now he's over 60), he has to pay about £5 every time he travels into the city.
I spent most of the day trying to clear up the house again.  There's just so much junk in this place though, and I don't know where to put it all.  I do need to get it all sorted out though, and fast.  I think I need to make piles for keeping, charity, selling, throwing out etc.  But it's tricky when I can't even clear enough space on the floor to make said piles!
February 10th 2009
Went to Woodberry, where we saw the bathroom and my bedroom painted in their correct colours for the first time.  My woodwork hadn't been painted yet, but you can still get the idea from the photos below.  I LOVE my room, but Mum hates the woodwork in the bathroom.  I will admit it's a bit similar to the walls - I don't hate it, but I don't really like it either.  Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated - if we can afford to get it changed, should we go for a lighter colour (bearing in mind it'll then look white, and Mum hates white) or a darker colour, which Mum thinks will "make the (white) window look like an ice cream with sauce, or Signal toothpaste!"?

Then we went to Gillette's Corner Tesco and were really naughty, buying three Krispy Kreme doughnuts to cheer ourselves up.  Then David went and bought some more paint samples in Homebase, while Mum and I stayed in the car.  I honestly think that if I ever see Homebase again, I will scream.  I am determined that once all this house business is done, I will never go in there again!
February 11th 2009
A big day for my standards.  We went to a matinee performance of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" at the Adelphi Theatre.  Of course, that meant travelling on the underground, which cost more money, but the theatre tickets cost next to nothing through a special offer Mum found on the internet long before Christmas.
I spent most of the morning washing and primping myself for my big day out.  No, honestly!  You all know how much it means to me to go to the theatre, don't you?  And I've wanted to see Joseph for years.  We left at about 1pm, and had to park in the really rough car park up by Perivale Station, which I hated, as that's where that bloke was stabbed a few weeks ago.  There's a lot of trouble up there on a day to day basis too, with loads of smashed cars and drug dealers too.  So not my cup of tea, especially as we had to come back after dark.  Oh well, we survived, as you probably figured out by now.
Of course, it started to pour with rain as soon as we arrived, and the theatre is a long way from the station.  Fortunately, I had brought my umbrella (I was using my smart bag, so at least I could carry helpful things without them getting lost in that huge broken shopping bag!), but Mum had forgotten hers, so there I was trying to cover both of us, with her moaning that I was "stabbing her in the eye with the edge of the umbrella".
Anyways, the show was great - probably one of the best musicals I've seen on the West End.  Gareth Gates is the new Joseph (his opening night was Monday, I believe), and he is brilliant; that's something I never thought I'd say, as I hate the kind of music he used to sing on Pop Idol, and hence thought he was a bad singer.  I guess this proves even good singers sound awful to my ears when singing pop music!  I remember Grandma watching him and cheering him on Pop Idol though, so it kind of reminded me of her too.
I wasn't so keen on the Scottish woman who was in the role of the narrator though.  Maybe it's just because that's one of my dream musical theatre roles, but she seemed to be modernising all of my favourite songs and literally SCREAMING into the microphone, which is not the way I like to hear the music in that show performed.  Oh well...  Overall, it was extremely good anyways.
I have the whole show on WAV again if anybody wants a specific song.  The quality is pretty good too (I love my coat! ), but a couple of my favourite songs I messed up by tapping my foot too hard, meaning the camera slipped inside my coat, making the recordings rather muffled.  Oops!
It was fantastic, absolutely superb.  I can't stress that enough - if you're going to see anything on the West End in the near future, go and see "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat".  Did I mention I enjoyed it?  Mind you, you probably figured that out from my latest Myspace profile song!  What do you mean, am I getting paid to advertise this show?  Of course not!  Don't I only wish!
February 12th 2009
Went back to Woodberry, and finally saw my completed room.  I love it - it's just how I've imagined my room would be for the past decade.  Mum says it's horrible, of course, and the window (which has a pink frame) makes her feel sick, looking like a mixture of ice cream and candyfloss.  Oh well...  I'll get some photos on here tomorrow so that you can all give me your opinions.
Something must have happened in the evening, as I remember a big argument and have written in my offline diary that I have a headache and feel terribly sick from stress.  But I don't really remember much of that.  I think the fact that David went out (and came back to Grottsville) really late didn't help because it meant we got our dinner...sorry, I mean daily tomato soup...really late and I got indigestion.  Two points I do remember from the argument that are worth noting though.
Now that my room is painted, I want to move in to that house while it's still new and nice.  My parents know that I've been saying I'm moving at the start of next month whatever happens, but they obviously don't believe me.  Now that the date is growing ever nearer, and they realise I'm serious, they're trying to put me off.  So Mum said...
"How can you possibly go and live over there?  You'll have no computer, no TV, no bed, no soft seat..."  She trailed off, obviously realising what she'd just said.  Still, I pointed replied, "Er...I hardly ever watch TV anyway, I only have a shared bed here, and I sit on the floor all day every day". (I have back ache right now, in fact)  I have sat on our sofa maybe three or four times in the past three years.  How absurd is that?!  Then she tried to change it to make out what she meant was that there I'll have no carpet to sit on, just plain boards.  Well, this patch of carpet is pretty much flat after sitting on it for three years anyways.
And the other point...
"I don't know what you think will be so much better once we move over there anyway." Mum said.  Um, besides being able to walk out my own front door when I like, hopefully get a little job and not have to feel dependent on them and guilty every time I buy something with what is essentially their money (except for the little bit I make selling things), having my own bed and chair, my computer on a desk, broadband so that I can actually do amateur VA'ing even if I never make it professionally and do so much else with the computer, somewhere to finally display the ponies I've collected for the past fifteen years, a house where I can actually invite people around if I ever have any real life friends, having the opportunity to make friends etc.?  Well, there's the most important one, of course.  "Well, I was told I would be given the opportunity to go to college, and get an education once we moved.  Although where the money is going to come from now that David's unemployed, I just do not know.  Or was that another of your lies?!"  I don't remember why I was saying that, or where it followed on from, but this part of the argument is very clear in my head, as they both went dead silent.  "Well?" I said.  Mum turned to me, and said abruptly, "I never said you were going to get an education."  WTH?  You KNOW what she has been saying all along, that once we move I will have opportunities, and OF COURSE I will get to college and all that?  Well, apparently she never said any of that, so you'd better scrub it all out of your memories of my day-to-day blog records.  What she said was, "Nothing can be done while I'm in this area." But she never said anything would be done once we moved either.
Well, lies aside, I'm really not sure what the future holds for me now.  I asked her if this is why she's been saving up for my "living funeral" (aka my wedding), and if so why do they keep telling me I'M immature for saying I will be forced into a marriage I don't want?  She says there's no reason I should need to get married either.  Um...  So where am I going to get the money to live on?  I HAVE tried to think about this seriously, guys.  Am I missing something?  If I have no education or decent job (far less the extra training in drama and career that I wanted - and those dreams of Vancouver are just about shattered), and I don't need to get married to some horrid bloke in this country and have hundreds of kids, where is the money going to come from?  A stupid little job at Tesco or something?  And how the heck do I go about getting one of them in the current recession anyways, considering I have no work experience whatsoever?
Oh, I know, everyone's just going to throw money at me, aren't they?!  I'll just walk down the street and £50 notes will rain on my head.  THAT'S how I'll survive!  Of course!  Why didn't I think of that before?
Plans, people?  Plans?  Don't let me down!  I'm feeling so sick right now.  I thought my only trouble was getting INTO college with next to no secondary education, but now things are so much worse.
Well, I'm off to another miserable night in the communal bed, where David has been lying since about 1pm following yet another argument earlier today.
I don't want to end on such a depressing note, so here's a happier one for you.  Tomorrow I should finally be able to get this blog up to date!  And then you won't have to endure such long blogs that cover three or four days of my boring life anymore.
Massive hugs to everyone who made it through that blog...or just to anyone who needs a Valentine's Day hug, having had nobody else to hug them all day*
Best wishes,
Desirée Skylark   xxx

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