Tuesday, 3 March 2009

I'm worried about Mum. :(

Current mood:  scared

Mum is really seriously depressed.  I've never known her this way before.  She spends all day either fighting back tears or trying to go to sleep.  She's refusing to leave the house even on the few occasions when David does offer us the chance to go out.  And she keeps going on about how there's no point going on with life.
And then to top it all off she told David and I she even scared herself this morning by picking up a packet of painkillers and "wondering how many it would take"...
I don't know what I can do for her.  I'm really stressed and depressed myself, and I just can't take this on top of everything else.  I'm actually scared to go to my floor-bed in case she does something while I'm asleep.  I doubt she will, but as I say, I've never known her so depressed so can't say how serious she is.  Of course she won't tell anyone except us two, and David just laughs it off.  So I feel stupid, being the only one worrying about her.
Well, David spent the entire day at Woodberry, helping Mr Shears (the shelving man) assemble the shelves in our bedrooms.  No, I'm not sure why he was out all day doing one job, but that's where he claims he was for nine hours!  He took me over there tonight, while Mum slept here in Grottsville.  The shelves looked weird to me at first, but they're growing on me.  Mine were designed by David, and his by Sickton before the evil architect left us in this mess.  As you can see in the photos below, Sickton messed up the shelves just as much as everything else, with two units overlapping so that you can't even see all the books on one shelf (Oh, but "It's fine - I'll just put books I don't want very often in there!" says David of I-don't-want-any-trouble-land. ), and what a waste of space on the sloping wall where the shelves don't follow up the wall.  If David wants to turn his room into a museum of books, might as well get as many as possible into the space, right?!
Anyways, on to the photos...
(David's bedroom)

(Baby Sundance will not be living in his room, and is simply there for size comparison for Mum to see when we got back to Grottsville)
Oh, and you can STILL see the Coke stain on the wall straight through those shelves on the right hand side of the room.  "But there will be books in front anyway!" as David of I-don't-want-any-trouble-land said.
(My room)

The thing on the left hand side will be a cupboard, but the doors aren't being delivered until tomorrow.  It's kind of hard to tell in the photos, but the shelves alternate in depth so that I can get two rows of ponies on one shelf and three on the next.  They'll be on different levels (as in, the back rows will be standing on one or two VHS tapes so that I can see them over the top of the front ponies), and then my playsets etc. will go on top out of reach of hyper children, angry women who smash walls if they're in a bad enough mood, and men's big clumsy feet - I'll leave you to figure out which family members I'm talking about there!
The top shelf has been made just deep enough for my Paradise Estate, if that gives you idea of sizes.  The only thing that really looks odd is the fact that this means the base and sides of the unit stick out further than the shelves.   But I guess it's okay, and it'll probably look totally different once it's painted in kimono pink and filled with multi-coloured plastic equines anyways.
I'm just excited that I'll finally have somewhere to display my herd after all these long years.
We went to Hoover Tesco on the way back to buy some bread, and I had a surprising find.  They'd obviously found an old box of Eyeshadow Ponies in the back and put them out on the shelf!  Yes, I know I swore I wouldn't buy any more ponies in the near future, but I have made a lot in Arena sales lately, so I brought Rainbow Dash home with me.

Now I just need Pinkie Pie and Toola Roola to complete the set!
In other news, um...to be honest, I can't really think of any.  I've got a pain in my stomach in the same place on both sides, and don't know what caused it.  It feels like I strained myself somehow, so maybe it's all the boxes I've been lifting around in a desperate attempt to clear up.
Agh, and now I just moved my left arm and THAT aches too.  What is the matter with me?  I know I've woken up with my neck bent awkwardly having fallen off of my pillows the last couple of nights.  I've also been kicking all the junk on the floor around in my sleep, so I guess I've been having disturbing nightmares again.  I haven't  been remembering any of them this time though, thank goodness.
Well, I'm going to leave you all alone now before I fall asleep holding the computer.  Mum is fast asleep herself now.  I hope she'll feel better in the morning, but she's getting someone in to value Woodberry on Wednesday night.  I really, really hope she doesn't decide to sell that place.  I'm desperate to get my life on track, and without moving out of Grottsville, I have no hope of ever achieving my goals.
Sorry to end on such a miserable note.  *Hugs*  Thanks for reading!
Best wishes,
Desirée Skylark  xxx

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