Thursday, 12 March 2009

Sorry, everyone.

Current mood:  betrayed

I know I shouldn't really be writing a blog as this is going to turn into yet another annoying vent about the same old things.  I've not even bothered to sign in the last couple of days because absolutely nothing different has happened; it's just been the same old arguments being repeated in various ways over, and over, and over again...

But right now I'm feeling so angry I just have to get it off my chest.  So once again, my sincerest apologies.  You have been warned; stop reading now if you're sick of these blogs!

Right, so first off, TUESDAY.  The computer (at least what I thought was the computer) started making funny little bleepy noises, so I immediately turned it off.  Then I realised it was the adapter - a kink in a wire had turned nasty, it would appear.  So we had to get a new adapter; yet another expense.

We drove all the way to Hayes, and Mum and I stayed in the car even when we got there.  We only went in order to get out of the house.  It was dinnertime by the time David came out of the bathroom and took us though, so we couldn't go anywhere else.

Later, I felt something flapping about underneath the computer. o_0  I'd found a screw on the floor the other day but had no idea it originally came off of the laptop.  A whole load of other screws were coming loose too!  Weird.  Anyways, the whole bottom of the computer was actually falling off, leaving bare wires exposed on my lap!  Thank goodness I found out before the plastic cover had become totally detached.

So I just turned the computer off (again!), got the screwdriver out of the cupboard, and set to work tightening up all the screws and fixing it the best I could.  One screw is still missing though, no idea where it can have gone...  Anyways, Mum happened to mention this to David later, and he asked me if I wanted him to "fix it properly".  WTH?  I asked him what he was on about, and why he didn't think I was capable of tightening a few screws.  "Well, I'm sure you tried your best, but you might need to do it with a screwdriver."  Second WTH?  He thought I'd "tightened them up with my fingernail" or something.  Obviously it wouldn't occur to me to use a screwdriver.  Duh.

Yesterday he came out of the bathroom at midday as usual, and decided to wash Mum's one and only pair of trousers.  Admittedly they were covered in plaster dust from Woodberry, and she wanted them cleaned before we see Emma on Sunday, but after they'd been washed she couldn't leave the house for 24 hours while they dried.  And then, of course, she won't go anywhere that there might be a risk of getting them dirty again before Sunday...  So basically she (or rather, we, since it wouldn't be fair to go out when she couldn't) were grounded for another day.

So what happens next?  She turns on ME screaching that if it was MY trousers, David wouldn't wash them until the day before I had somewhere important to go, because I'm a "little princess".  She continued to sarcastically call me "princess" for the next hour, getting more and more worked up.  Well, let me just point out that I have been known to have to wear the same pair of trousers for 3-4 weeks without washing them because David doesn't get around to going to the launderette.   But because it's exactly the opposite of her problem, she doesn't see it as a problem in itself.  And if only we were at Woodberry, we have our OWN washing machine over there!!!

And then today, yet another day in this prison cell.  I went to floor (sorry, I mean "bed") early last night, because staring at this screen for so long was actually making me dizzy.  But when everyone I love; my friends and supporters in all of this, are online I tend to spend all my days talking to all of you to try and escape the reality of day-to-day life.

Well, anyways, Mum has insomnia now.  She just cannot sleep for all the stress.  Well, she probably sleeps for about 15-20 minutes at a time, then she starts muttering louder and louder about all our problems, until finally she wakes up properly and begins wandering around, usually looking for something to eat.  It sounds funny, but believe me, it isn't.  Especially when YOU are trying to sleep on the floor the other end of the room, and she keeps stepping over you to sit on the sofa, usually treading on your feet in the dark as she goes.

So she got me up at about 6.30, I think (Basically as early as she thought was "acceptable" ), and asked me to open the curtains.  As usual, I went to the bathroom and got myself washed and dressed, hair combed and mascara applied immaculately, and sat down to wait for David to come out of the bathroom so that we could go out.

And waited...

...And waited.

Eventually, he DID come out, and said he'd take Mum to the building society to sort out some of her money. (She wants to put it in an ISA before the interest rates drop again).  Anyhow, then he "just HAD to go back in the bathroom" so we waited some more.  And soon it was dinnertime again.  So, once again, we stayed in all day.

When he was finally ready to start his day (literally, just before dinner should have been being prepared) he decided to start an argument.  He won't admit that it's unlikely he'll ever work again, and says we're "not being supportive" every time we talk realistically.  The arguments continued for a long time.  Basically, both my parents are now saying we'll HAVE to sell the other house anyways, due to lack of money.  And we're not sure we'll even be able to move to a smaller house in that area now.   I tried to block them out, concentrating on what I was writing on an internet forum...then David brings me into the argument.

"Right, YOU'RE gonna 'ave to get a job to support us!"  (He'd been spending the last half hour or so explaining why HE can't possibly get a job as anything less than a civil engineer, and trying to convince Mum to get a cleaning job, so I guess the next step was me.  I stammered something about where did he think I was going to get a job...  "I don't give a f*** wot ya do.  You'll 'ave to go down the job cen're and foind somethink.  Ya won't be able to do anythink immedia'lay anywoi - I mean, look at ya, si'ing there, never ge'ing off ya a** - but they'll give ya training."  Well, as you all know, I will NOT leave this front door alone.  I may not be allowed to "get off my a**", which is why I'm putting on weight, but I have researched as much as I can online, looking for cheap EDUCATION.  Ah, the key word here.  I have no EDUCATION, which is mainly David's fault as he knows.  I have to be honest with you here.  Having been locked up for two days (and not having been anywhere but for a drive in the car before that) the lack of fresh air was really getting to me...and I burst into tears.   Even Mum stuck up for me, as she knows I've been promised the (forbidden word...*education*) for many years, and I think it's all been proved to be nothing other than empty promises now.

David gave me his most distainful look.  "And ya think she could have passed O Levels or A Levels?!"  Mum gave him another mouth full about how bright I was when she home educated me when I was younger the best she could.  I KNOW I have potential to do anything I wanted.  I don't want to sound big-headed, but in my heart I just know if  I set my mind to it, I could do it.  But not if I get stuck working in a supermarket or cleaning toilets for the rest of my life.  In this country, there's really not a lot you can do education-wise once you get a low-pay job like that.

So now David isn't talking to me, because I'm "being stupid" and refusing to help us out of the mess HE put us in by going self-employed when a recession was looming.  I should just give up on an education now and get a job.  "Think of it this way - it's the one way you could have a bit of money in YOUR pocket!  And they wouldn't give you a job anyway - they'd just put you on unemployment benefits."  Yeah. Right.  Even my mum's cousin, who has only just come out of hospital following a hernia operation, has been sent off to work in a factory making soft drinks cans now!  They don't give you something for nothing these days.  Way to make my prospects sound brighter than they are, David Alder.  Sadly, I'm not taking the bait.

So what to do now?  I'm in an area where I can't (sorry, "won't", according to my father, but you honestly only see girls my age walking around here with their friends, and I have none of those in real life) leave the house alone, probably not moving, no place to sit or sleep, no education, orthodontist appointment coming up again (and how the heck can I have two operations when I don't even have a bed or chair to come back home to?), and now being told to go out and get a job which will prevent me ever doing what I wanted with my life.

Oh, and I keep hearing scratching noises behind the TV.  I hope it's just a spider and not a mouse or rat.  I'm too scared to look though because I have to sleep right in front of the TV cabinet now.

In my eyes, this is partly Sickton's fault too.  'Cause if we had been moved in time, I could have had a cheap, or even free, education.  But between David and Sickton they've taken too long.  And now Mum doesn't want to move to the house our, er, architect has messed up.

Why did I say "architect" that way?  Well, just wait for this little snippet of fascinating information.  Here is a link to P*ss Sickton's website especially for all of you...  Read the "experience" page.

"Chris Picton has worked in architecture for 35 years, firstly as a technician moving onto contract and project management."

And then...

"Carolyn Fallek (RIBA Dip Arch) trained and qualified at Canterbury College of Art, School of Architecture."

Basically, Sickton is not a trained architect after all.  He actually works for his so-called wife (the one he isn't married to), and the laws of England allow it.  Even though HE is the one who has done all the work, and Carolyn was hardly ever involved.

Oh, and what does Carolyn the trained architect do for a living?  (Apart from rubbish interior design, that is!)  She makes jewellery!!!

You really must check out her website, especially the order form!  Click "More about the designs" to get into the main website.

Actually, I'll be kind and show you some of her jewellery here, just so that you can decide if you want to buy from her.  Of course, you will be very much appreciated if you don't buy from her, due to the way they have treated us, but hey, if you see something that takes your fancy from her reference pics, I'm sure she'll be only too happy to take your money too.

Would you like a silver brooch for £36?

How about a Petworth House brooch? (These come at various prices - something for everyone!  I especially like the "windows".  Almost as good as the mis-matched windows at Woodberry!)

A glass brooch that will set you back just £70?

Oh my God!  I LOVE her brooches!!!  I just HAVE to buy a zig zag brooch for £66!!!  Do I get a free drawing with it?  Her artwork is SO amazing!

Amazing in the sense that she can actually legally draw house plans, that is.  No wonder everything went wrong at Woodberry if an architect-who-wasn't was altering plans drawn by someone like HER!

Please, please, PLEASE, I BEG you not to work with these people.  If you ever come into contact with either of them, turn around and leave.  Even if you do love her jewellery...  Kudos to you if you can figure out what the heck any of it's supposed to be though, let alone what it would actually look like after you handed your money over!

Oh, and one last thing before I leave this topic.  Please look at the "Combining Two Houses Into One" project here ~  I love the description... 

The brief:

The clients loved the location of their home, but were looking for additional bedroom, garden and office space. Rather than move to a larger house with all the associated costs and disruption, they purchased the house next door. The two houses needed to be joined together to work as one seamless home, with the option of returning the building into two separate houses in the future.
Only one thing to note on that.  "The clients" are...THEM!!!  THAT is Sickton's house!  So I'd take any happy clients mentioned on that website with a pinch of salt.  Most likely they went to all their friends' houses and photographed those as well as their own.

Ah well, one happy thing to note.  My trade box from Hannah (Seahorse at the MLP Trading Post) arrived!

(Copied straight from my brag post over at the TP, because I'm too lazy to type it all out again)

I did a trade with Seahorse here at the TP, and my package arrived just over an hour ago. I am so excited right now! Here's what I got...
It's kind of hard to see in the picture (blast having a broken camera screen and not being able to see when I take photographs!) but I traded for the Easter Cheerilee set from Morrisons, Newborn Cutie Cheerilee, plushie Pinkie Pie, a MIP Dolly Mix pony, and a loose Star Song Dolly Mix Pony. (The MIP one was also Star Song - just my luck - so I will probably be looking to trade for another, if anyone is interested. )

So where did the plush Sunny Daze and LPS guinea pig come from? Seahorse added them in as extras for me! I am so happy right now - I collect model guinea pigs but never had a Littlest Pet Shop one before. Does anyone know his name?

Oh, and on top of all of that, she included this really sweet picture for me...
My photograph doesn't really do it justice - I'm going to hang it on my wall in my new bedroom/pony room when we move house.

Thank you so much, Seahorse! You can't imagine how happy I am at this moment!

The plushies and extra Dolly Mix Star Song will probably be looking for a new home if I can bear to part with them.  If anybody wants them (someone who will give them a good home, please!  I'm really struggling with this getting into selling actual duplicate ponies thing, and not really sure I can do it, but if they go to a good friend of mine, I'll be happy.), make me an offer.  Buy them or trade for them, I don't mind.  I'd prefer to trade Star Song for another Dolly Mix pony, just because they seem to be so hard to find, and I love them to bits, but I'm not too picky.

Ooh, and finally, it was Gabriella's first birthday today, although we didn't get to see her, of course (that's why we're visiting Emma on Sunday though).  Anyhow, a belated happy birthday to my youngest niece and goddaughter.

I think that's all my exciting news.  I'm tired, so I think I'd better get to floor bed.  Cross your fingers that I'll only be sharing with a spider, and not a mouse/rat, although that scratching noise behind the TV gets louder every time I hear it.

*Huge hugs*
Desirée Skylark  xxx

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