Monday, 25 May 2009

So where do I sleep NOW?

Current mood:  annoyed

David is graciously speaking to us again.  Nice of him.

So we decided to go to the car boot sale at Epsom, where Mum hoped to find a certain stallholder who sells cheap "stocking-sized stuff" (she wants to get ahead with Christmas for Emma's kids).

We all assumed that someone else had checked the Car Boot Calendar...but of course, nobody had.  And when we arrived at the field the boot sale was not there; instead, a country fair was taking place this weekend.  So we had to turn back to Grottsville.

It had started to rain by the time we set out for Taplow afternoon car boot, and the field was not as full as it should have been.  I also saw two kids with bags full of ponies, so as you can guess, I didn't find anything.  All I saw were a few lonely G3s, the G2 ballroom set and one poor G1 Cotton Candy.

Again, we returned to Grottsville.  I went to get changed into my uncomfortable "indoor rags" while David turned the TV on and started watching BBC's 'George Gently' on TV On Demand.  I returned and had to step over him in my ripped trousers (something I hate doing obviously) and crawl back to my corner of the floor.

For some reason, he found this particular badly-acted episode absolutely hilarious, even though Mum and I couldn't see the joke.  So he kept rolling over on the floor - the piece of floor I have to sleep on, that is - in what I can only describe as the "this carpet is very tasty" position!

I was getting sick of just seeing him rolling around belching loudly after all his sulking the last two days, but then one time after he rolled over to laugh so hysterically he re-surfaced to reveal a huge wet patch on the floor.

Yes, once again my slobbery father had drooled in what passes for my bed.   So now I'm sticking by my guns and refusing to sleep there.  I still have to eat, sit and live on the floor about 2' from the spot though.

David's answer is that I should sleep sitting up on the sofa.  Or go and sleep on an imaginary mattress up on Emma's bed (you know, where I couldn't sleep all those years ago when I was promised I could have it as my room because of the leaking roof!)  After all, he had to sleep sitting upright for several years.  No, he didn't.  He could have always cleared this place up and provided all three of us with beds!

Anyhow, so now poor Mum has had to move up to this end, meaning I'm now having to sit on the worn out sofa to finish off this blog, and my back is killing me.  I don't know how Mum sits up here surrounded by all her honestly can't move for fear of knocking something over or creating a landslide.

Mum is currently moaning about how hard her life is because she can't stretch her legs out properly.  Well, considering she's 4'10" and I'm 5'2", perhaps she can now start to understand how I've felt with my knees tucked up under my chin every night the last three months.  My knees are now so weak I honestly can't walk down steep steps without stumbling all over the place.  She was always telling me how lucky I was before because I've been nearer the radiator than her and she's in a draft.  Never mind the fact that I'm the one who's always too hot anyway! >.<

Well, maybe now I can actually stretch out for once.  We went to Woodberry (so much for David "never setting foot in the place again"!), and picked up the bag of wallpaper samples and colour cards that got left there on Friday.  But Mum was too hot and tired after the car boot to look at anything.  We were supposed to be going back later on but David decided to stay in the bathroom and then spend ages eating dinner instead.

I switched on the new mobile phone (the one Mum and I are supposed to be sharing) for once today so that we could find David at the car boot today and strange numbers keep ringing...even though I have given the number out to absolutely NOBODY.  David has made a couple of phonecalls to use up the minutes since I have no-one to ring and we couldn't get a "pay as you go" scheme, so I figure the companies he rang have passed the number on.    I think the lack of privacy in this day and age is awful.  Back in the old days you'd choose to be 'ex-directory' and nobody could get your number.  I just don't know what I can do about it now...  I hate hearing a blast of Mozart when I'm not expecting anyone to call!

And speaking of people invading privacy, here's another thing that's annoying me.


I've had three messages and a further seven friend requests just today.  I figure I've gone into some kind of search system now that I've turned eighteen and suddenly everyone thinks I'm an object to be dated.  Sorry.  NOT SO.  This ain't even funny anymore.  Hey, guys!  Maybe try reading my profile properly since it's so "cool".  I know I have to update it a little as it still claims I'm seventeen, but dial-up is useless for these things.  The 'Who I'd Like To Meet' section still stands though.  So please get the following into the cotton wool-type material in your heads if you can get those brains to absorb anything other than photos of women for a moment...

I'm off-limits.
I'm not interested in dating.
I would never meet up with a random guy from the internet anyway.
I'm not interested in dating.
I'm happy to be single.
I'm not interested in dating.
I would certainly never allow myself to be used in something you guys call a 'short term relationship'.
I'm not interested in dating.
I don't intend on having ANY kind of relationship while I'm stuck in England.  I can easily wait until I get to Canada, and if I never get there, I can wait forever.
I'm not interested in dating.
I usually dislike men in general anyways, so no, I'm not all talk when I say (repeat) I CAN WAIT FOREVER.
I'm not interested in dating.
I can see through you like a newly-cleaned window, so don't give me the "I just want to be friends" nonsense.
I'm not interested in dating.
Did I mention that I'm perfectly happy to be single?
I'm not interested in dating.
One of my favourite songs is Kiss Me Kate's 'I Hate Men' for a reason.
I'm not interested in dating.
I'm not being cute or playing hard-to-get.  Your messages make me feel sick.  I am not an object waiting for YOU to come and tell me I'm pretty or ask me to share YOUR bed.  I want my own damn bed having waited eighteen years, thank you very much.
I'm not interested in dating.
See I'm here for 'friends and networking', not 'dating and relationships'?

Phew!  Do you think that's clear enough for them?  Probably not, but a girl can dream, yes?  Now, just for giggles, here are the messages I received today!

(This one wins the prize for the weirdest and rudest?)
Hey there!
Hello...this is a rather random email so i do apologise but hope it at least brings a smile to your face!
I was having a rather drunken email conversation with a female friend yesterday...and we ended up 'debating' who's the stronger sex...of couse she argued for the girls...and her main point (much to her amusement) was that
"any girl could beat any guy with a simple kick to the balls"
and i reckon thats a load of rubbish....first off she reckons girls find it funny..and that one kick would have me down crying...i said i would never cry from one kick..hell i wouldn't cry even from a grab n squeeze! and even if some girl threatens to do it..she never actauly does it..they're all talk no action.
so basicaly now, as a dare...i have to message a random girl i dont know..and who says she would have the guts to kick a guy in the balls...and if she says she would..i have to actauly let her do it...seeing as rach thinks i would wimp out of it..i wana prove her no wimp..and i never wuss outa a what do you think? am i right? no girl would dare do it would she :P and even if she did..i wouldn't cry lol.

p.s my email is (*Edited out* - but hey, I can give it to you if you want to spam the freak for me!) if u wana reply to there
p.p.s you're really pretty :) hope u dont mind me saying :) (in a non pervy way!)

(This one wins the prize for being, um...the most txt msg-y?)
hey how r u doin? hope ur ok, just thought id send ya a message cos been lookin through ur profile and u seem really nice :) wondered if u wanted to talk sometime, if u do and u got msn add me (Again, address available to all who feel spam-happy! ;p)hopefully speak soon x

(And this one, well, I guess he wins the prize for at least attempting to cover his "I haven't actually bothered to read your profile properly and am only interested in your body" tracks?)
so many my little ponies wow x
hi hope u dnt mind me adding u , im chazz , cool profile

Actually I must say thank you to you guys.  I took great pleasure in deleting your messages so that the messages I've saved from my favourite actors are still at the top of my inbox!

Ooh, and finally, I took a load of new profile photos last night, and I just can't decide between them, so if some people would like to take a quick look through and comment on your favourites for me...just to help me decide which ones to keep and use as my default pic etc.  Thank you!

Well, I think that's everything.  My leg has gone to sleep now, so I can't write any more tonight.  I hope you have a safe journey to Vancouver tomorrow, Caroline.  You already know how jealous I am right now, so I'll just congratulate you one more time...  And sorry to those of you I haven't replied to yet (particularly Bonnie, Elisabeth, Laura and Lori).  I haven't forgotten you, but my leg is killing me so I'll have to write to you all tomorrow.  Thanks for being so patient!

Desirée Skylark  xxx

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