Friday, 22 May 2009

Waiting for the police to arrive...

Current mood:  scared
Just went to Woodberry where Craig had painted the picture rails and ceiling in David's office a really nasty green.  In fact, it's the green that we were going to use on the extension walls.  Quite clearly now we won't be doing so.

Mum and I admit to hating it, and there is NO WAY that David can possibly like it either, but he won't admit it, of course.  It honestly looks like vomit.

So we had a huge row, with Mum rushing to throw Craig's ladder down the stairs, and me holding her back, and David proclaiming he's not moving there again.  He's going to sell Mum's house again, you know?  (Even though he knows that's not an option, due to our financial problems)

So he just kept winding me up, telling me that I will "have to sleep on the floor for the rest of my life, and no, you'll never get your education!" among other things; the very things he knew would get my hackles up.  "And it's all 'ER fault!" He shouted, pointing at my poor addled Mum.  "Let me go, let me go!  Stop pulling me back!" She was screaching as I tried to stop her getting to the ladder.  "Yeah, push her down the stairs!" David shouted.

Of course, I didn't push her down the stairs, and got in fact got her back down safely without her damaging anything (despite the fact she grabbed a broom once she got into the hall, so I had to restrain her again!)

I started shouting at David about how ridiculous he was being.  "Yeah, of course you'll keep me in Grottsville!  You never even bothered to give me a bed all my life!  Or a chair!  I have to sit, sleep and eat ON THE FLOOR!  WITH INSECTS CRAWLING ALL OVER ME!"  This embarrassed David, so he announced that of course he wouldn't live in that house after my little tantrum.

He marched out the front door and since he's the only one with a key to this dump or a car to drive us back here, we had to follow like two little kids again.

He continued to be horrible to me all the way back about how I had embarrassed him.  He was going to "go for my throat AND knock my teeth out, so then I wouldn't have to worry about getting them straightened!!!"  The fight continued for another five minutes or so, and in the end I got hold of my bottle of apple juice, took the lid off, and attempted to throw it in his face.  Of course, since I sit beside him, it didn't really work, and instead went all over the car, and splashed back at Mum and I.  Now it's all over my coat sleeve, the bottom of my coat, and the back car seat and car ceiling.

David got really angry at this point, pulled up outside a pub over in Ealing, got out of the car and came around to the back seat.  I realised he was going to attack me, so attempted to get over Mum and out of her door, irrationally thinking I'd run away someplace, even though I have nowhere to go.  But she held me back and told me not to be stupid.

Even so, I got the door open, and somehow managed to vault out over her...but David grabbed my left hand and twisted my fingers back again, this time really hurting my pointing finger.  I can type with it at least, but it's still trembling (I'm guessing it's nerve damage or something?  Hopefully it'll just go away on it's own...)

So I turned around, kind of pinned over the top of Mum, and ended up kneeling on the curb half in and half out of the car.  David tried to get hold of my throat, but I twisted so he only got the left side of my neck and throat.  Then things went a little crazy. 

Mum's shouting "Let go of her!  Look at the state she's in!  LET GO!" and trying to pull him off of me, while I sobbed, "Call the police!" in my half-crazed voice.

The next thing I know, David suddenly releases me and dashes back to his seat.  I'm there crying, and Mum's hugging me.  I kind of clambered back into the car, and then we saw what David must have seen, and the reason he'd left me alone.  Two young men had come out of the pub, and are making their way to the car.  I don't want to cause any more trouble, so start shouting "DRIVE!" at David.  He starts the engine so one of the guys starts knocking on the window.  At first, Mum just says "Go away!  P*** off!" , then she winds the window down to speak to him.  "What's going on?" he says.  "GO AWAY!" David shouts.  "My daughter had a tantrum, that's all."  The bloke ignores him, and turns to me.  "Are you okay, darling?  Want me to call someone?" 

"No, I'm fine."
I sobbed, trying to keep as calm as I could.  "Are you sure?" he asked, looking concerned.  "Yes.  Thank you."  I stammered.  But I'm pretty sure they noted the car numberplate as we drove away, so now I'm worried the police are going to turn up on our doorstep.  David has already said he's "looking forward to going to prison after he punches the copper on the nose".  WTH?  What has this policeman we haven't even seen yet done to anyone? o_0

I'm a bit calmer having written all that down, but I'm really not sure what to do.  Well, there's only one thing I can do: stay here, and hope things improve.  I would just get the hell out of here, but I have no friends or relations who would take me in until I can get on my feet, and I really don't think going to a shelter would help me all that much.  I'm not experienced in anything (not even life in general), and I don't think I'm ready to make it on my own, so I just don't know where to go from here.

I'm sure David will calm down again, and then we can continue with getting the colours sorted out for Woodberry.  In the meantime, we just have to sit back and wait.  And my insect allergies are just getting worse and worse; my eyes are streaming, and I can't stop sneezing; not to mention all the muck in my throat and the rattling noise in my chest when I breathe in.  I know it's an allergy because it gets better when I've been out of this house for a while.  How can I survive keep sleeping on this floor with all these horrid insects?

Well, I'll leave you all alone now.  I didn't mean to make this such a long blog.  I really wish I'd never been born.  I fail when it comes to getting anywhere in life! :[

*Hugs hugs to everyone who got this far*
Desirée Skylark   xxx

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