Thursday, 9 July 2009

The death toll doubled today...

Current mood:  inspired

They announced another seven swine flu deaths here in the UK, bringing the total to fourteen.  They won't release any details, so I'm guessing at least some of them had no underlying health conditions and the government are trying to hold off the huge panic which is obviously on its way.  Our local Tesco is already half emptied of long-life foods.  Call me stupid if you like, but this is really worrying me.  They're estimating 40 deaths every day in this country by the end of the month.  Morbid as it may sound, I think I'm going to take this opportunity to write instructions for my funeral...  It's something everyone should do really, especially if your nearest and dearest are so clueless about what you'd want as mine are.  My family seem to think I'd want to take a load of ponies in my coffin with me, and would probably play Kerry Ellis's rock and roll take on Wicked (which I personally hate by the way - no offense to those who like it) and the pop music of some group I doubt I've ever even heard of. (Mum said Emma mentioned them last time she was over there without me, but can't even remember the name...I can't think of any specific modern bands I like though!)  And if Mum succumbed to swine flu before me, I doubt David or Emma would even know if I wanted to be buried or cremated.

I certainly wouldn't want my ponies to be destroyed in my coffin alongside me - I'd rather they were offered to my online pony friends, and any left over sold for my family to use the money on something they wanted.  I would however want to take a couple of cassettes with me of a couple of my favourite VAs.  I know it sounds freaky, but I'd feel comforted having those tapes by my side.  Maybe even play the tapes at the funeral parlour before the day, then put them in the coffin.

I want to be cremated, and (as I'm not sure of the laws concerning taking people's remains abroad), either be scattered on water off the coast of Vancouver, or if that's not allowed, just be kept by my family as long as possible, as my grandad wanted.

As for music, I'm thinking 'Reflection' (Lea Salonga's version - none of that Christina Aguilera nonsense please!) as you enter the crematorium, since it's a kind of slow thoughtful song.  I'm not sure about what I'd have as the curtains closed around my coffin (possibly Idina Menzel's 'Defying Gravity' as I'd want it to be upbeat, so I'd probably say aim to get the "And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free..." verse as the curtains closed) or as everyone left (Something inspirational, but I haven't figured it out yet).

Sounds crazy, I know.  So maybe this explains it a little better.  Basically, since I've never had the chance to perform in life, I'd want my funeral to be like a performance of my life, I guess.  With a song to represent my desperation to be myself, a song to represent finally being free - either in my last few weeks/months of life, depending if we move or not, or in the afterlife - and the third song to be something upbeat to say I wanted everyone to be happy after I was gone, despite the fact I could never help myself.  Or failing that, just something simple like My Fair Lady's "On The Street Where You Live" (the movie version), since I can tell you right now where my spirit will be floating, and it ain't going to be England!

Oh, and I'd rather have a small posy of flowers and a donation to an animal charity (I don't have a specific charity in mind - just NOT the RSPCA) than these huge bunches of flowers that they seem to like to send to funerals.

Sorry if all that seemed morbid.  I don't see it that way, I think it's something we all should do, as I know the stress my mum went through when her parents didn't leave many instructions.  I just want my family to have easy access to this if ever it was needed.  So please, anyone who read that, if anything ever happened to me and my family contacts you, point them this way!

The funniest thing is, Mum didn't like the idea of me travelling anywhere because of it, which was part of the reason I had to turn down Sarah's offer, but ironically there have been no deaths at all in British far.  (Touch wood)

I'm feeling more and more depressed by this whole Woodberry thing.  I can't believe David is letting it drag on like this.  He went to see Rob Williams yesterday, and wouldn't even tell us what was said.  Basically, he made out he had finally sacked the idiots over the phone, but it seems Williams was the angry one who is still trying to get rid of us.  But officially he is still doing the remainder of the work, despite saying he will "fit us in when he has a chance"FOR GOD'S SAKE, WE'VE WAITED FOURTEEN MONTHS FOR YOU TO "HAVE A CHANCE" TO DO THE WORK WE'VE PAID YOU TO DO!  CAN'T I JUST HAVE THIS LAST YEAR OF MY TEENS? PLEASE?!  (Another reason I wish I could have gone and studied drama over in Vancouver - I'm obviously not going to get a 'proper' education here - at least in the short term - so why the heck shouldn't I have taken two 'gap years'?)

Even if David did agree to sack Williams though, the Polish builders are still in fact, they're not coming back for "two or three weeks".  I'm just in total despair.  This summer's gone no matter what I do.

We went for ice cream at McDonalds last night, but the Oreo McFlurry has gone for at least another year, so I had a Cornetto McFlurry instead which made me feel really sick.  Ugh, why do I have to be stuck on the wrong side of the Atlantic?  Of course, the outing wasn't a complete disaster.  We had entertainment throughout our ice cream the form of two young rats playing tag in the bushes with a large carrier bag.  Sorry to make you all jealous.  You can't all be so lucky as to live in Grottsville with live performers at McDonalds 24 hours a day!

Apart from that one trip, I haven't even left the house since my last blog.  Mainly I've just been trying to keep busy clearing up in the kitchen and bathroom.  I've chucked out tons of stuff (another FOUR BLACK SACKS, in fact!) but the place looks no better at all...

These carpet beetles are making me sick (quite literally, as far as my allergies are concerned, but that wasn't really what I meant).  They're eating EVERYTHING!  Any kind of material; cloth, food, wood, paper...  You name it, they're in it!  And today I noticed a big hole in my Easter Cheerilee's rabbit ears.  And I've been checking her every couple of days since she's on the floor right behind where I have to sleep.  I dread to think what's happened to all the ponies I packed away months ago.

David is hoovering in the bathroom now, convinced it will do some kind of good as far as destroying the beetles goes.  But they're too hardy to be killed by a vaccuum cleaner.

I've also been continuing watching videos of "The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" on Youtube, specifically listening for Shane Meier and Venus Terzo but also trying to identify all the other voices, and just taking a nice stroll down memory lane as it was one of my favourite shows when I was little.  I loved Tails back in the day, but his voice is kind of grating on me now!  In "Lovesick Sonic", Breezie sounds extremely familiar and very "pony-ish" as Mum put it.  She is convinced it's Venus, actually.  So I was wondering if any of my clever voice chasing pals could confirm that for us!  That being said, I wouldn't say we're certain enough to be on a 'confirming' stage.  Initially, I thought it might have been Kathleen Barr, but it doesn't sound like her at all today.  I think I'm losing my voice identifying ear...I thought I heard Sam Vincent in one of the episodes too, and he's not even supposed to have been an additional voice!  Oh, well, I just want to load them all on this awful dial-up connection before Youtube completely cuts me off, as they're now telling me I need to upgrade to a more modern browser...which dial-up won't allow.

Not much else to say.  I had a really nice bath the other day - I am officially in love with Lush!  It's the first time I've really switched off to my parents' constant shouting at me to get out of the bathroom because I'm taking too long, and soaking in one of those bubble bars has really done wonders for my skin.  Waxing my legs even worked pretty well the next day, so I'm hoping my hair removal problems are on their way out, although I still think I'll need to touch up by shaving every couple of days...something I can't do with no shower, and my parents ranting at me to get out of the bath all the time!

Well, that's all for now.  David is STILL hoovering the floor, so I think I ought to tell him to stop before he kills himself!

Best wishes,
Desirée Skylark  xxx

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