Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Such a lot remains unsaid...

Friday, 13 November 2009

Friday the 13th...

Current mood:  restless

Not that I'm particularly superstitious these days, and our luck couldn't really get any worse, so what is there to be afraid of?  Anyways, this blog isn't about today's 'unlucky' date...  I'm still way too far behind to be talking about that!  Still, at least I'm FINALLY going to move on to October in this blog... now that we're halfway through November!

September 30th 2009
Another early morning, caused by Mum's loud bragging about her "independence" which allows her to walk up and down the road in Grottsville.  Well, whoop-de-doo!  You're welcome to that!

My allergies were particularly bad, and I spent the whole morning coughing and sneezing, unable to clear my nose and throat.  I just don't know how much longer I can go on existing in this dump.

David walked down to the post office to weigh some parcels for me but the place was shut for building work.

I was feeling so ill, depressed and helpless, especially with Mum moaning and moaning about her wonderful walk up and down the road, that I began crying about my wasted life again.  I just can't stand much more of it.  So David decided to snap at me again that it isn't too late to get an education.  This is how the conversation went.

"Anyone can do anythink if they just go out and do it."
"Do what?""Night classes.""What night classes?"
"I found some..."
He trailed off.
"Yes?"He left the room.

He didn't return.

I have such wonderful conversations with my parents!   Somehow I doubt he really found any night classes in our area at all.  I have been looking for years (admittedly on dial-up, but even so) and can't find anything.

Then he took off to another post office, and Mum started yelling at me that I had "forced him out by moaning" (What?  He had left the room after that fascinating conversation above, and never came back for me to moan at him!) and now he "would bring swine flu back to us".  An argument ensued.  Probably caused by me saying I didn't care if I died of swine flu as there's nothing left to live for anyway.  I may have said something like why had my parents had me if they couldn't provide the basics, like a bed and education, for me, which would have triggered the response I have noted down in my 'blog notes' pad.

"We could provide for you - but you've always been so obsessive, so the money went on Beanie Babies, ponies and anything else you wanted."  Um, excuse me?  I don't think it's for a little kid to decide what the child benefit and any other money the parent allows for said kid gets spent on.  Obviously, a child of six or seven is going to choose a toy over going to the dreaded school that her parents have instilled in her brain is an awful place where she'd be bullied and not learn anything anyway!  (Hence, home education is a better option) >.<

Then she had to have yet another dig at my e-friends... well, specifically the one friend I had written to several weeks previously, who I was very concerned about since they still hadn't signed in and read my message.  "You want to go on pretending that they're normal and write as normal... Well, obviously they're not!"  As it turned out, said friend was perfectly all right but between computer issues and depression had not got online for a few weeks.  We're now back to writing to one another regularly, and yes, I would agree that NONE of my friends are 'normal', because I'm not sure there's such a thing as 'normal'.  We're all different, and that's what makes the world such an interesting place.

I pointed out that I have to have e-friends, because she will never have a decent conversation with me and doesn't even want to know me half the time.  "Well, you wouldn't want to know me if you could have gone away for two years!"  God, she's still on about that, is she?  Well, I didn't have the money to study abroad so I'm still here in England.  And who said I wouldn't have wanted to know her?  It's not like we're living in the 19th century.  There are ways of communicating (ie e-mail, webcam etc.), even if you are on the other side of the world!

Meanwhile, she perused a holiday brochure, intently reading the page on her dream vacation to Alaska... stopping at Vancouver for a few nights on the way.  Don't tell me that wasn't done on purpose.  In anger, I snatched the book and closed it.  If you're going to shout at me, at least dedicate your whole attention to the argument!

"You were going to tear that up, weren't you?" she said, playing the victim.  "Don't you think I've ever wanted to smash your ponies?"  What?  I never tore up her brochure.  I just closed it in frustration.  And why does she want to destroy my ponies, for God's sake?

I pointed out that there's not a whole lot of them left to be smashed after all the Woodberry delays.  All the insect and heat damage has pretty much ruined them.

"I haven't ruined them!  This house has ruined them, and it's not my job to get us out!"  (She was having one of her "I'm not moving to Woodberry" days, by the way).  But whoever said she had ruined them?  Weird...

Well, anyways, the argument ended there when David finally returned from the post office with the shipping prices for the parcels.  And then he went straight back out for a job interview.

The interview was supposed to start at 2pm, but he didn't get back until six.  I still have no idea where he went in the meantime.

He came back looking very dejected, and announced that he's sure he's "too old to get a job, but didn't want to say it to Mum's face before now".  Great.  So where did that leave us financially?

He promised to take me to Woodberry to get me out of this house, and away from the allergy-causing beetles, then he went in the bathroom until it was too late to go.

When he finally came downstairs, he decided to snap at us both again.  "What am I supposed to do?  Neither of you will go out when you should go out!" he said.  "And when should I go out?" Mum questioned.  "When it's available!" David sneered, before returning up to the landing for another snooze.

Nice.  I hate feeling like a prisoner in my own home, not that you can really call a house without a bed 'home'.  That was one of the main reasons I wanted to move to Woodberry.  I just need some independence!  But it never worked out, of course.

Later, David turned the radio on, and a blast of MLP music came out of the speaker.  How awfully embarrassing!  Basically, I had left one of my cassettes in the tape player, and he'd flicked the switch the wrong way.  Oops!

When he went to Tesco (very late at night), I wasn't even offered the chance to accompany him, so I didn't leave the house at all.  What a wonderful life.

October 1st 2009

Mum went for yet another 'walk of independence', and told David to "take me out somewhere" (Well, excuse me, but I'm not a dog!) while she was gone, so we went to Harrow.  I told David to leave her a note to say where we'd gone, but he refused to spare the time to do so, and I had no paper.  So I just had to leave my mobile phone behind, figuring she'd ring on David's phone.

My allergies (which my parents refuse to believe are allergies) were FAR better after just thirty minutes out of this house.  But the trip itself was not very successful at all - no more denim leggings (or 'jeggings', as Hattie so helpfully told me... love that term!) in TK Maxx, and no sign of the new MLP DVD, 'Twinkle Wish Adventure' in HMV.

I noticed that my bed is now reduced to £63.99 at Argos, which is a lot cheaper than the price we paid.  If only I'd known it was going to be reduced further, I wouldn't have had to buy it so early and let it get so filthy in a house where I wasn't going to be allowed to sleep anyway.

On a similar note, Mum received an e-mail saying that there was 20% off all bathroom accessories in the catalogue where she bought all the toilet roll holders etc. several weeks ago, being told that we were moving soon and had to hurry.

Later in the afternoon, I went to Woodberry to use the computer.  I watched a couple more episodes of Sonic the Hedgehog on Youtube.  I'm not recognising too many of the voices, but I must say it's brought back some good childhood memories to watch the series again.  I also downloaded another episode of Voiceprint with Trevor Devall and guests.  I'm so grateful for that podcast - it really helps to get me through the miserable days here in Grottsville.  I also wrote a blog, then, just as I went to submit it, I managed to delete the whole thing!   Fingers crossed that the same thing doesn't happen to this one!

On the way back from Woodberry, the agency rang David and offered him the job (the one he was sure he was "too old" for)... BUT he's being offered only two thirds of the wage he normally receives for his line of work.  The office is only about twenty minutes drive from here though (probably only five minutes from Woodberry), meaning it's in a very convenient location.  So he wasn't sure whether to accept or continue looking for a better job.

Mum's cousin, Ruth, wrote a rather snooty letter to her.  Basically, Mum told her aunt Madeline that due to David being out of work we were going to have to cut back on Christmas gifts this year (We usually exchange quite a few gifts with John and Madeline, and we wanted to cut it down to one present each or something).  So Madeline got in touch with her niece, and passed on the message. o_0  So Ruth writes: "Madeline told me you were no longer doing Christmas.  I'm sure you have better things to spend your money on."  or words to that effect.  But goodness, how rude.  They just don't believe that we have no money. >.<

David went to see a bloke about security at Woodberry, and he has recommended an alarm system that requires large sensors in five rooms...including mine.  So it looks like I will end up with a big ugly white thing on my wall, too.  The system doesn't sound very good anyway.  Basically, if the alarm sounds, the security company will call your mobile phone to find out if you have set them off yourself.  If you don't answer your phone, they'll do nothing at all.  If you answer your phone and are out of the house, they scare you to death by letting you know there are intruders in your house, then slowly call the police who promptly do nothing at all (not that the intruders are still going to be there after all that time).  Sounds really secure, doesn't it?

October 2nd 2009
I opened the curtains and noticed that our gatepost had been totally knocked down and smashed on the ground.  It was obviously our new neighbour, Hussain, since I could see all the brick dust over the front of his van.  Of course, when our old Irish neighbours were still living there, their friend knocked the gatepost down (although he didn't smash it) and offered to re-build it for free.  But David never bothered to ring him back.  Now Hussain has totally smashed it by knocking it over a second time, and he hasn't offered to do anything.

Mum decided to go to Kew Archives at the last moment, leaving me no time to change my clothes, so I was stuck indoors, with my worsening allergies.  So there wasn't even any way that I could make voice recordings while my parents were out of the way.

"You've been out the last two days without me." Mum said.  I pointed out that I hadn't even left the house two days previously.

There was no answer to that, really.  "Oh, well, you can stay here, clear your breathing and use your disk drive."  She said cheerfully on her way out of the door.  How the heck am I supposed to clear my breathing in a house filled with the very carpet beetles that cause my allergies?

Eventually, I calmed down and spent the time that they were out battling with the disk drive and attempting to make MLP music recordings.  But this stupid computer kept overheating and had to be switched off three times.

They didn't have a good time anyway, it appears.  Basically, Rob Jacobs (the path tiler) rang up and it transpired that David had not cancelled his appointment despite telling us that he would do so, hence he was still coming the following day.  Not only that, but he agreed to go and collect his tools that afternoon (poor Rob Jacobs doesn't have a car) and take them to Woodberry that afternoon, rather than taking me out as he had promised.

One problem regarding Jacobs not having been cancelled...  We were supposed to go to Emma's house for Abigale's birthday.  This had been planned weeks in advance.  So why the heck didn't David tell Jacobs that he couldn't come?

David didn't think this was a problem, though.  "Why can't we leave your stuff just while we drive to Emma's house?  Then I'll go back to Woodberry."  WHAT?  Leave my Paradise Estate and irreplaceable MLP plushie collection unsupervised with Sickton's friend.  NO WAY!
Oh, and to add insult to injury, Jacobs announced that he wanted £50 in cash when David went to collect the tools, which he promptly gave to him.

That night, we went to Woodberry where I watched another two AOSTH episodes, downloaded the last Voiceprint episodes and re-wrote the blog I had so cleverly deleted the previous day.

David got another round robin e-mail from one of his internet agencies offering him a job in Vancouver, which he insisted on telling me all about, even though it's not feasable at his age.  Why must my parents taunt me so?

Oh, and there was no more mention of his real job offer...  Perhaps there was no need to worry about whether to take it or not.  It seemed as though the decision had been made for him...

Anyways, that's all for now.  Myspace is co-operating at the moment, so I will try to write another blog tomorrow (and every day until I can finally catch up).  Thanks for reading, everyone!

Best wishes,
Desirée Skylark  xxx

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Yet another very long catch-up b-ore-log (and still over a month behind!)

Current mood:  tired
September 27th 2009
Again, I got up early, in a desperate hope that I might go somewhere mildly interesting (well, anything's got to be better than sitting here on the lounge floor!), but my parents had other ideas. Mum went for her walk up and down the street - "It's nice to have independence" - while David stayed in the toilet until dinnertime - "You obviously weren't doing anythink anyway so I thought I'd stay in there longer". o_0 Well, at least he was honest, I guess!

I attempted to re-record my MLP music tapes, but even that is totally impossible from this dump with a combination of loud music from next door blocking out whatever I try to record, a ridiculously slow dial-up connection stopping me downloading the last few MLP commercials I'm missing from Youtube, and a broken tape recorder which keeps switching off unless the extension lead is balanced just right. >.<

Sick of even trying to re-record my tapes, I went in the kitchen to have a drink... and noticed that my Volvic bottle reeked of something really nasty. Mum had replaced the bottle that morning when she had made up our drinks for the day and said that she had "found the bottle on the floor in a wet puddle by the sink (and behind the rubbish bag) but she'd given it a good rinse."

In the afternoon, David found a message had been left on his mobile that morning. A wall had collapsed at the storage unit where we are storing all of the furniture for Woodberry along with other priceless treasures, like Mum's cruet and teapot collections, and just about everything she's bought for the new house... (It would be safer there, away from the carpet beetles here)

Of course, panic ensued, not helped by the fact that the storage unit was closed by the time David discovered the message and nobody could figure out the phone number to answer the call. I offered to listen, and got called "stupid" when I couldn't make out the number either! All we could actually figure out from the message was that our stuff had been moved to another room... and who knew what would have been lost or damaged in the process?

Of course, there was always the possibility it was David's Mills & Boon room. I crossed my fingers. "I bet it's my stuff!" Mum cried. "So do I." David stated, walking out of the room. It's nice to reassure people when they're in such a state, isn't it?

After we finally found the number elsewhere, David rang them up and got the room number... and was convinced that it WAS actually his room. But Mum's Auntie Eva's collection of wine glasses and my MLP height chart and toy box are in there apparently.

That night, we went for ice cream at McDonalds (Wow on toast! Still, at least it got me away from my allergies in this house for half an hour). I had an Aero McFlurry which for once was well mixed and tasted really creamy. I had almost lost faith in our local branch of McDonalds, so it was a nice surprise.

Well, when I start talking about the taste of ice cream, you know there's nothing to say about the day, so I'd better move on!

September 28th 2009

David decided to postpone his appointment with the builder so as to go and check his books at the storage depot. Then he spent the entire morning in the bathroom anyway, meaning there was absolutely no point putting off progress with Woodberry again.

It was horribly hot in this house (David had switched the heating on at 4am, and the place was like a greenhouse!), which didn't help my sore throat, brought on from sleeping on this filthy floor for a whole eight and a half hours. You see, if I sleep for as long as a normal human being, I pay the price. I really need to get off of this floor after five or six hours...

When David finally emerged from the bathroom, he announced that he had let himself run out of blood pressure tablets (just to scare poor Mum, our resident hypochondriac), then went off to the storage depot to start lifting heavy boxes of books around.

But we were in for a shock. The idiots had given us the wrong room number - it WASN'T the wall in David's book room that had collapsed, it was the wall of the room containing all of the antique furniture from Woodberry...and all of Mum's ornaments etc. So David came back and took us both to the depot with him. The second we arrived in the car park, Mum was out of the car, dashing across the car park and SHOUTING at the bloke who worked there and had left the message on David's answerphone. I have seldomly seen her so angry.

Why did they move everything to another room without informing us first? (The message was left after the stuff was moved) They are claiming that something INSIDE our room fell over and smashed the wall out, but for people who are so sure we are behind the damage to their property they're not looking for any compensation and are eager to say that we have insurance for our belongings (as though this is their insurance or something - WE have to pay for it, and it only covers up to £2000 worth of damage), and it certainly doesn't look like the wall was bashed from the inside to me. Especially considering that there was nothing small on the inside of that wall, just one wardrobe, which hadn't moved an inch, judging by the photos the storage depot have in their records. I'm more inclined to think someone smashed one of the large transportation trolleys into the wall from the outside or, since it was the cleaner who discovered the damage, perhaps the large industrial floor cleaning machine they have there.

Anyways, all of that aside, everything is now stacked in a new room on a new floor in such a way that we can't even see if anything is lost or damaged. It's all been stacked carelessly though, with furniture on top of furniture and boxes of china thrown inside other boxes on top of other breakable ornaments. We can see that one chair on top of everything else has a big chip in the seat, and the top of the wardobe has been knocked so that it is in danger of falling down. But we really need to get everything out of there to check it properly. And, understandably, Mum doesn't want to move everything an extra time and wish further damage. So she wants to have everything transported to Woodberry, where the work still hasn't been completed, of course...
Mum's take on things? "If only Desirée's room wasn't finished, the wardrobe could go in there where it belongs". Nice to feel wanted, isn't it? I've waited eighteen and a half years for that bedroom, and nobody really wants to spare the space even now. >.< I can't see her wanting her valuables in that house with nobody living there to guard them anyway.

Oh, and to add insult to injury, I received a package through the mail - a chlamydia testing kit. Well, excuse me, but I don't think I have any reason to use that. Just because I'm young doesn't mean I'm foolish. What a waste of NHS money! Although I must say the envelope and plastic bag have come in handy for packing my sales goods, and I kept the urine sample pot for bug collecting!

Later, we went to Laura Ashley and got some wallpaper samples. Rather pointless though, considering David never offered us the chance to go to Woodberry and look at them.

THEN he went to Woodberry alone to use his computer. I'll never get out of here unless my parents start working together!

September 29th 2009

Already stressed out by my 'real life', the idiotic male population decided to make things a bit worse by writing endless stupid dating notes on Myspace. I was seriously concerned that my inbox would be filled to the brim and I would lose all my real treasured messages from the likes of my favourite actor and singer, before I have the chance to print them off and save them! It might sound crazy, but I don't see why messages from people who hardly know me who have taken the time to write to me personally as a fan should be pushed out by the same stupid messages that six million other girls received from some perverted creep looking for an idiot to spend the night with.

And so, without further ado, I bring you another episode of "The best of 'Messages from Desperate Losers'"!

Firstly, we bring you, the boring Baiggy!
hey u ok?x
And Skylark, from our agony aunt panel, says: Try something a bit more original. Sure, there are fellow losers out there, and I'd bet your bottom dollar at least some of them are female, but even most losers won't fall for the typical "Answer me - I only wrote this to a billion other girls" line... Actually, you might find it hard to compose (or understand) the before-mentioned line, so I'll repeat in your language to the best of my ability. "ansr m3 - u 1 of only 1000000000 grl get ths." Probably still too long for you, but I'm afraid I don't talk txt!
And now, our gambler, Sad Safak Safak
Hi I hope; I am not disturbing you.How are you ? I was looking at your page and wanted to try one's luck :) I hope; you reply
Auntie Skylark says: Well, with a repetitive name like that I guess one needs to take one's mind off things with a bit of gambling here and there! But you might try betting on only sure things from now on. Check the "Who I'd Like to Meet" section of your next target - most girls will say if they're looking to waste their lives with losers such as yourself. So try checking before you try your luck. Oh, and try checking your punctuation, too. Those semi-colons after the word 'hope' are darn annoying! Good luck, Loser!
And now, my friends, The Amazingly Versatile Alok Verma
hey how are ya? guess what, I just logged on to mysace and i saw ur profile under cool new people.......i must say this first....i have come across so many people but i think u are ..gorgeous...absolutely beautiful... not being hyperbolic but u are stunning...
how is it going?
Our Sweet Skylark says: You have some amazing qualities for a loser, switching from relatively good spelling to text speak in the blink of an eye; I'm sure that could be put to good use. BUT, again, try checking out your victims before contacting them. I have been on Myspace since 2006, so I'm hardly 'new', and so many adjectives, all meaning exactly the same thing. But of course, you already covered that, too, with your "fancy long word", 'hyperbolic'. Now run along and tell Mummy what a clever boy you are, and how you got your homework filled in on time for once. Just replace each small 'u' with the correct word and correct some of your other mistakes, and you might even get a decent mark for your essay.
Oh, and to answer your final question. I don't know how it is going, but I do know where you are going - DELETE! - There, be sure to check out the special trash box sightseeing tour. It's filled with losers just like you! :)
And finally, Pathetic Philby Pantelis
iwait you in my cam! what is your msn or yahoo messenger's mail?
An Enraged Skylark responds: Is that any way to talk to a lady? First we have your pathetic name - if it's supposed to be some sort of joke, God help us when you're trying to be serious, and if it's your real name, God help you until you can get it changed! - and then the actual message. I am not familiar with the word 'iwait'. It could mean one of three things. It could be the word 'irate' , as said by a small child, or someone who can't pwonounce the 'R' sound. And that's exactly how your message made me feel, so snap! But more likely, I guess it's either 'I wait' or 'I want'. Well, I've got news for you, mate. If you want me in your cam, you're out of luck. And if you're waiting for me to appear in your cam, you're going to wait a heck of a long time. As my final point, why on EARTH would I (or anyone who respected themselves in the slightest) give you their msn or yahoo messenger details? There are a whole lot of men out there, and they don't all have such bad manners as you!
And so ends this episode of "The best of 'Messages from Desperate Losers'"! Tune in next time for more thrills and spills with the guys who should never have even been allowed near a computer!
David rang Florian Tiles to find out what was happening about the damaged tile we needed replaced. The woman kindly offered to replace it AND give us an additional tile of our choosing (since the glaze on all of those in the original style we wanted is faulty apparently). She also said we could have three free tickets to the Horse of the Year Show! But Mum turned them down because of the risk of catching swine flu. :(

Later, David went to see the Polish builder while I made further MLP music recordings. Uncommunicative as he is though, he didn't tell us anything about what the bloke had said when he got back.

Then they both went to the storage depot in the afternoon, while I worked on making some of my own recordings.

That night I went to Woodberry in order to delete all of the before-mentioned creeps from my Myspace inbox, and also to enter a whole load of competitions for various beauty products which Mum had found in a magazine. We didn't win anything though, surprise surprise!

I just don't know how much longer I can go on living in this house. My allergies were terrible that day, with constant sneezing, a terribly sore throat and the worst 'burning' sensation in my nose that I have ever experienced. And on top of that when I got changed that night, I noticed blood stains on my bra, which I can only imagine were caused by the carpet beetles who are constantly biting me...although I couldn't actually see any bites in, ahem, that area, so it worried me somewhat. o_0 I was also upset having only just bought said bra a few days earlier, because I have so few clothes and have to wear them for way too long due to not wanting David to take them to the launderette. Another reason I desperately need to move so that I can machine wash my own underwear!

Anyways, I've been working on this blog for almost two and a half hours, so I really ought to go and do something else now! Sorry I got so carried away again! >.<

Best wishes,
Desirée Skylark xxx