Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Footsteps could be heard running through the darkest part of England...

...and it wasn't even an olympic athlete!  No, it was the sound of your intrepid blogger running back to her laptop after another two weeks away from blogging.  Grr...  I could have been two months further along with my catch up blogging by now, but I just never seem to have time to sign into Blogger anymore.  Let's see if I can get back on track now...

March 25th 2011

I was still suffering badly with toothache, following having the braces fitted the previous day.  I only managed to get about four hours sleep due to the pain, and couldn't even suck up courage to attempt to eat breakfast until 11.30am.  I'm sure the fact that I refused to take painkillers didn't help (!), but the "block" in particular was causing me excruciating pain.  I couldn't close my mouth and yet I had this terrible urge to bite down on something.  Anything.  Ugh, it was horrible.

You can see how tired and ill I look from these photos (or perhaps that's just the way I look all the time!)

I was just cursing myself for not opening my mouth wide enough to see the braces properly, then I remember how much pain I was in and realised I probably didn't know how wide I'd opened my mouth!  It's amazing to see that horrid gap and overcrowding now though - you tend to forget how bad things were over time, don't you?

I couldn't think of much at all apart from the pain.  I would have liked to have gone for a little walk to try and take my mind off things but Mum felt really ill and got that dreadful stomach pain again and was pacing up and down by noon.  I couldn't take the stress while I was in such agony!

I ended up just going to the ever-exciting Tesco in the evening, by which time I was feeling really ill and disorientated.  There was a nasty gang of loud young boys who scared me to death in my pain induced zombie-like state, and David kept wandering off.  I'm not sure why I felt any safer with him anyway - he ended up getting in line right behind the boys at the checkout!  I did manage to get another nice t-shirt (from the kids' section!) though - a pink one with a giraffe on the front.

March 26th 2011

I woke up with no pain at all, and thought (stupidly) that I was over it.  The pain started up again as I was eating my breakfast and got worse and worse as the day wore on.  In fact, it ended up even worse than it had been the previous day.  Now it was even painful to swallow.

David didn't turn up until noon, by which time the pain was already setting in, of course.  Still, I battled out with him to buy screws so that I could finally fix the handles on the drawers under my bed.  We went to Screwfix first, but they didn't have the right ones and sent us to B&Q.  But B&Q didn't have them either and suggested we go to Screwfix!  We ended up driving all the way to Chiswick for a small hardware shop David remembered seeing there.  He had to park in a spot where we really shouldn't have parked and left me in the car to keep an eye out for traffic wardens.  Great.  I didn't even have a phone with me!  The inevitable happened and a warden came and started writing out a ticket for us.  I had to talk to the bloke and put on the sweetest, most innocent act I could muster (with a terrible lisp and a feeling like a mini tornado in every tooth in my mouth!) and make out that I didn't know we weren't supposed to be parked there.  I told him my dad had just popped into the shop across the road to buy a couple of things and would be back in a minute.  The guy kindly gave me five minutes so I had to get out of the car and literally RUN down the street to the zebra crossing and all the way back to the shop to tell David.

They did sell the right kind of screws in the shop but were still trying to find them in the back room, so I got left there to pick them up and pay while David went back to move the car.  I was left standing outside the shop for AGES waiting for him to drive round and pick me up.  Quite nervewracking for someone in terrible pain with no phone, hardly any money, and no idea of how to get home from there!

He spent the rest of the day "scanning" (aka sitting in front of the scanner and listening to a very loud radio!), and I struggled to do a little more work on my pony shelves.

March 27th 2011

The hour sprung forward.  With my mind filled with toothache, I'd completely forgotten about it, and hadn't gone to bed any earlier to compensate.  Hence I overslept and very little got done...the whole week had been wasted on pain and depression.

David also overslept and rolled up at noon, "which is like 11am to us"!  Yes, David, but it WASN'T 11am any longer!  And is 11am really an acceptable time to wake up anyway?!

We went to Grottsville to pick up some stuff I'd sold on e-Bay and also a large bag of 2p coins.  I always keep my spare 2p coins in case I get to the seaside and have the opportunity to use the coin pusher machines.  I've become quite an expert at those machines and can often make a few pennies on them.  And yes, my fun does stop at 2p coins.  I'd hate anyone to think I was a closet gambler!

After that, we stopped at Tesco for a couple of bits of shopping we desperately needed.  It was closing time and they wouldn't allow us to take a trolley.  I didn't dare to leave my e-Bay sales goods in the car so ended up carrying them with me...and trying to support my handbag (full of heavy 2p coins!) to stop the already broken handle finally giving way.  I needed to find another bag quickly.

My teeth felt a little better, and I was actually able to eat ravioli instead of soup for dinner!  But I still couldn't talk or chew properly and it was making me really miserable.  In fact, I had a terrible panic attack in the evening and would have pulled the braces off if they hadn't been so strongly glued on my teeth.  I didn't see why I should go through so much pain and expense just for appearance.  Okay, in my case I also suffered from pain in my overcrowded teeth and slight eating difficulties from the left molars lying down as they did.  But the predominant reasons for having braces fitted was due to lack of self confidence.  Well, perhaps it people weren't so OBSESSED with judging others, I wouldn't have to be suffering such agony!  I will never understand why people would rather have a "perfect" person who has been drastically changed with cosmetic surgery than somebody who looks natural.  Speaking from experience, I think it's our natural little flaws that make us attractive.  It's sad that women so commonly feel inferiour and end up struggling to pay for botox injections, tummy tucks and breast enlargements to meet the standards of their (drastically altered, and usually not for the better!) peers.  And it's not just women either.  To make an example, I know a guy who is constantly beating himself up over his appearance.  "I'm too short!  I hate my crooked mouth!  Everyone stares at these marks on my cheek!"  All things I hear from him on a regular basis.  All these insecurities were instilled in him from years of bullying and cruel comments from other people.  I struggle to see how they could feel that way.  Right, so maybe he's not model material but why should he have to be?  If I tell the truth, I find the tall, dark and handsome stereotype very unattractive.  There's nothing wrong with being short, and there's little more adorable than this guy's lop-sided smile or the oddly-placed freckles on his cheek.  That's what makes him the guy I've come to know and love.  If he has a kind heart, outer appearance really doesn't mean much.  It would be like judging a birthday gift on the paper in which it was wrapped.  If people find it necessary to make negative comments on other people's appearance, you have to wonder what's wrong with THEM. Would they really like to live in a world where everyone looked exactly the same?  Well, I guess I'm getting off topic again, but it did annoy me to have to endure such pain just to feel that I was acceptable in the outside world.  Really, if complete strangers want to laugh at me or call me names, it's their problem, not mine.

David stayed until midnight "doing scanning" again, although he seemed to spend most of the time listening to 70s comedies on the BBC i-player and actually turned the scanner off at 10pm!  With such a noise coming from just up the hall, I couldn't watch any "Dancing on Ice" again.  I'd fallen so far behind, and with the final taking place that night, it seemed quite pointless watching it all really.  After all, I was bound to hear who won by the following day.

And, with that, I will have to go to be as my eyeslids are getting heavier by the moment!  I will try to get another entry written tomorrow though.  Neglecting this blog won't get the job done!

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

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