Saturday, 1 September 2012

I think I'm going to have a heart attack...

I'm not kidding.  I've had a terrible pain in my chest all day long, I'm struggling to catch my breath, can hear my heart pounding and pounding and keep going dizzy and light-headed as though I could just drift away.  I am under EXTREME stress right now so I'm sure that's the cause but my parents are not helping.  I had chest pains when I was talking to a certain someone on Skype last night and he took it upon himself to risk getting his head bitten off and e-mail Mum to tell her just how ill I looked and that he was worried about me.  She wrote him a short, sharp response apparently and told him she will make sure I go to a doctor if I really need one.  Then ALL day long she has been "secretly" discussing with David every time I leave the room (do they really think I'm that hard of hearing?!) how they can get rid of this guy as he is getting too close to me - we've never even met, for God's sake! - and she fears me escaping to Canada or doing something as "stupid" as she did and becoming a "filthy breeder".  Apparently I should "get my story straight" as I've always said I didn't want to emigrate and only wanted to go to Canada for two years to study.  I've also repeatedly said that I hate "dribbly children" and so she thought I was "sensible".

Huh?  I've always made it quite clear that I want to emigrate, haven't I?  I said that I would like the chance to study overseas so that I got a taste of living in the country BEFORE taking the leap and moving there permanently. I've also always said I wanted a couple of children if I escaped to a decent country and ended up with a certain someone (I swear I shall never feel for anyone else the way I feel for him) but apparently she has control over what I do with my body and I am EVIL to even contemplate leaving her, much less having kids.  So they are quietly plotting how they can introduce me to "nice young people in this country" so that I will no longer feel the need to talk to a guy I consider to have been one of my closest friends the last five and a half years...and who also appears to be the only one who picks up or even CARES when I am potentially seriously ill.  Thank you very much, parents!

That being said, I guess I should get on with catch up blogging.  Even if my heart doesn't pack up and I don't drop dead on the spot, I only have a few days before my prison sentence begins.  Don't worry, it's not at a real prison (I have comitted no crime!) but it may as well be the way I'm feeling right now...

April 17th 2011

I didn't leave the, you can just feel the excitement oozing out of this blog entry already, can't you?!  David was in an awful mood and wasted most of his day in the bathroom.  He didn't want to do "anythink" useful and flew off the handle when Mum brought a couple of pictures up the stairs to be hung on the wall.  He shouted and swore and actually jumped up and down on the spot in his anger!  (Yes, seriously.  I wish I'd managed to film him!)  Apparently, he didn't think that "putting things on the wall was more important than..."  He trailed off.  More important than what, we asked.  "Why does it matter???" he snapped at nobody in particular.  Sometimes I wonder why we even bother with men!

Later, I was browsing Youtube for newly uploaded MLP commercials and stumbled across this little gem...

I almost didn't find it amongst all the Friendship is Magic nonsense, but I was so glad that I did.  I love old commercials!  They make me feel nostalgic somehow...even if they do date from a time before I remember and come from a different country to the one where I am stuck!

The MLP commercial (for Secret Surprise Ponies) is at 22:16 and it is a rather strange one really.  I'd never heard that advert jingle before and find the combination of BAD animation (heck, if ever the term "hippo ponies" was deserved, it's here!) and a clip from the original My Little Pony TV Special's theme tune...which dates from seven years before this advert was shown!

Other noteworthy points of this video (to me at least!) are the My Pretty Mermaids commercials at 17:02 and 34:08, which both use the MLP theme tune! (No wonder Hasbro had changed the MLP advert jingle by this point!)  Then we have the Care Bears advert at 03:44.  I had no idea they were even still making Care Bears in 1991...and those bears look so little like the Care Bears I know and love that I probably would have thought they were fakes had I seen them at a car boot sale!  Does anybody know if these were ever sold in the UK?  And finally the Bucky O'Hare bumper at 04:21 featuring a certain actor by the name of Shane Meier...  I never thought I'd have the chance to hear that bumper.  Now I want to see the "welcome back" one they played at the END of advertisement breaks!

I loved hearing that North Western accent on the weatherview forecasts too!  Thank you, Youtube user Thepasswordisfail, for brightening an otherwise sad and gloomy afternoon sixteen months ago!

Unlike David, our next door neighbour Mark was in the mood to be busy (as usual) and was pottering around his garden for most of the day.  While we were eating our dinner, he decided to wander into the back alley (along the end of our garden) to trim some of the ivy in the alley and throw his rubbish out.  But then he just stood and stared at us eating.  It was horrible.  The one thing I hate about this house is the lack of privacy from the neighbours.  It comes as a nasty shock after living in a house with high fences all round the garden and a huge tall garage across the bottom of it!

David finally cheered up when it was time to go "home" to sleep in Grottsville.  Well, he would do, wouldn't he?  He had successfully got through another weekend without having to lift a finger towards clearing either house up.

April 18th 2011

Having wasted the weekend, David took it upon himself to book a carpenter to hang some shelves on the walls.  Mum quickly pointed out that the shelves couldn't go up until the windows were measured for curtains (some shelves were going near to the window frames, and we needed to know where the curtains would hang to see if they would fit), so David had to cancel the carpenter and book a guy to come and measure the windows instead.

I tried to scan some more of Mum's photos, but the scanner wasn't working.  It turned out that David hadn't connected the cable to the right point after using his laptop up in the loft the night before, but as he had never showed me where the cable was supposed to be connected, I didn't realise this and couldn't get on with the scanning.  I washed some more ponies, but there was no hot water, and saved a few more of my old blog entries.

There was another big argument about wills.  Mum seemed convinced that Emma and I were just waiting for her to die so that we could get the inheritance.  I told her I'd like my half to go to an animal charity if I pre-deceased her and she went wild, saying that she couldn't afford to change it and that it stated that if either of us pre-deceased her, the money would go to our children.  (Wow, this is rather interesting, bearing today's argument, mentioned in the introduction to this entry, in mind).  I pointed out that I don't HAVE any children and she told me I would have by the time she died.  This angered me, considering that minutes before she'd been telling me how I would not get the education I needed to emigrate...proving she obviously still believed I would bear ENGLISH grandchildren for her. Ugh.  No thanks.  Not after my terrible upbringing.  This country has gone to the dogs in my eyes - the only thing I ever liked about it was the traditional British seaside and we've even let that go now.  The health system sucks, the educational system sucks, the government sucks, the general publics' lack of intelligence and direction in life sucks...  I could go on, but I'm probably better leaving it there!

David and I went to Tesco in the evening.  He was surprised that I wanted to go (apparently he thinks I want to stay indoors all the time!), and Mum tried to put me off by telling me that I'd "get lost and be surrounded by young men" (?!)  When I went anyway, she came running out into the road afterwards, SCREAMING to get our attention, holding my mobile phone out to me "in case we got seperated".  Crikey, anybody would think we were going to explore a war zone rather than walking into a shop to buy a load of bread!

Mum went through her jewellery drawer and offloaded another ton of her unwanted jewellery on me.  Mainly earrings, which I'm not sure about wearing.  I don't even have pierced ears at the moment so it doesn't really effect me but I do want to get them done eventually.  What are your thoughts on second hand earrings?  They did only belong to my mum who hasn't worn them for well over twenty years.  I know she always kept her piercings clean too and never had any problems with infections and so on.  Still, it seems a bit weird to have used earrings in my drawer...but there are some really pretty ones which I couldn't stand to throw away!

April 19th 2011

Mum and I went for a stroll in the park which wasn't very pleasant as the weather was hot and the park was full of screaming children.  David had his ECG which was all clear.  I did the usual, scanning photographs, washing ponies, indexing tapes, saving blog entries etc., but was still shouted at that I wasn't doing enough.  I took a quick break and got myself some dinner in the form of a tin of Tesco ravioli which turned out to be about 1/2 foul-tasting, watery tomato sauce!  Yuck.  I won't be having that as an alternative to Heinz again in a hurry!

I was very stressed about my lack of education and didn't know where to start looking for advice.  I asked Mum to help me but my question was met by stony silence followed by her telling me to think of something else.  Looking at the local university websites didn't give me any information about the courses available, only on the nearby pubs and night clubs!  What sort of mad place is this?!

A nice old Indian man came to measure the windows for curtains and told us that my second hand MLP curtains were (miraculously) just the right size for the window!  He didn't even charge David as "they are neighbours and both of them are old men"!  Charming.  This man is about 80, by the way, and helps out at his daughter's shop sometimes.  Nice to know he thinks my father is of a similar age, isn't it?!

That night we went to McDonalds for Creme Egg McFlurries and Mum got in a panic that she was choking on the sauce.  I think she just swallowed some down rather too quickly.  That sickly sweet sauce does have a tendency to sting the back of your throat sometimes... But you know my mum.  She began clasping her throat and acting as though she was dying.  Stress, stress and more stress...

Well, I did hope to get a bit further than that, but I really need some sleep now.  Maybe I'll find time to write an extra long entry tomorrow.  Even this amount is better than nothing, I guess.  Funnily enough, my chest isn't hurting now.  I wonder if that's due to me calmly writing a blog entry or the fact that I have been talking to that oh-so-terrible person who my parents are sneakily, quietly plotting to dispose of.  As Mum said earlier, "he has become like part of the furniture around here" and we can't have someone who cares about Desirée or brings her any joy around for long, can we?  Well, I know the guy in question will be reading this so let me take this opportunity to once again thank you for being there for me and making me laugh when I need it most.  Even if we do lose touch before we even have the chance to meet, you have made a lasting impact on my life and got me through some difficult times.  Whatever happens, I feel sure our lives will improve in the not too distant future.  Keep wishing and hoping...

To the rest of my readers, thank you for continuing to tune in despite the long gaps between entries!  I love you all!

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

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