Monday, 26 May 2014

After Returning to England...

It's late and I'm tired, but here's a quick catch up to bring us a week nearer to where we really are. (It'll make a lot of difference in the scheme of three years!)

June 4th 2011

We were all exhausted upon our arrival home from the USA.  David and I actually fell asleep in the car on the way back from the airport.  I have to feel a bit sorry for our chauffeur really. And I thought holidays were supposed to be relaxing!

I battled to unpack my suitcase as soon as I walked through the door.  I knew that if I didn't keep busy, I'd just close my eyes and fall asleep for the rest of the day, and then the jobs would never get done.  Miraculously, both the house and the car were okay.  David drove over to Grottsville to check the house there and made a big thing of scaring us about it, calling us to say, "Well, at first it looked a mess but..." as if somebody had come in and vandalised the place.

He successfully wasted the rest of our day by claiming that he was coming straight back from Grottsville and  then not doing so.  Because of this, I didn't do my laundry or start cleaning in case he had other plans for us (of course, it was also a good excuse not to do anything since I was so tired!).  I guess he fell asleep at the other house.  And so it started again - the dreadful drifting.  Nothing would ever get done while I was living under my parents' roof.

June 5th 2011

I didn't leave the house.  Heck, I didn't even wake up until noon...and I was the first one awake at that!  I'd heard of jetlag but this was ridiculous!

What little of the day I did see after breakfast at about 1.30pm was frittered away as usual.  I needed a set routine or nothing would ever be done.

I still had a really rotten cold which might have added to my tiredness and inability to do anything.  I felt horrible with a sore nose and peeling lip.  Mum complained that the potatoes we had for dinner tasted icky and were of the "disgusting yellow variety".  I could see that they were yellow-er than usual but I was spared the gross taste because I couldn't actually taste anything!

We were still trying to get settled back into life in this country.  Today David went to the storage depot to collect my grandparents' cremated remains (yes, you heard that correctly - we put them in storage because Mum thought they would be safer there than in either of the houses!)  He "couldn't find" Mum's money which he had also stored away there though!

He also couldn't find the camera's memory card with about half of our holiday photographs on it.  Thankfully it turned up (as did Mum's money) but we had a stressful few hours of looking for it.

June 6th 2011

I went to the very exciting Tesco, my first time leaving the house since we had arrived back from the USA.  Well, I found a penny by the self service checkout so that was my reward for finally dragging myself out of bed!

I finally did my laundry too - a whole washing machine full of underwear, it seemed!  I've no idea how I got all of that dirty laundry back to the UK in my tiny little suitcase!  There wasn't even anywhere to hang it all.

For those who may be wondering about my hospitalised friend in California, he now had a new mobile phone (having lost his old phone in the car accident) and was feeling well enough to talk...for hours on end.  I didn't mind, of course - I loved him and it was nice to hear his voice, whatever time of day or night.  But keep going to bed at 4am was probably not doing much to help me to recover from my jetlag!  And even when I got to sleep, he would sometimes call me up again and wake me.  I always kept my phone by my bed though, determined that I would be there for him in whatever small way I could be.

I remember him crying down the phone on the night after we arrived back, apologising profusely for "letting me down"  by being disabled when he had promised to find work and sponsor me.  Hmm...pity you don't feel that way now, boy, huh?  A car accident was not your fault, but you had a choice in other things.

My left arm was killing me for no apparent reason.  It felt like a pulled muscle.  But how could I have pulled a muscle when I hadn't even left the house for the best part of three days and had spent most of my time napping anyway?!

June 7th 2011

Another exciting trip to Tesco was on the agenda for today.  Not even the main Tesco, but the little Tesco Express around the corner.  We needed bread.  I found that the shampoo and conditioner I used for my ponies was on sale on a 3 for 2 offer.  Now I would be able to wash the Happy Meal Ponies that I wanted to sell.  Oh yes, my life in England was so fantastically thrilling that even these details got noted in my blog notes book!

David spotted a Clancy Docwra van outside the shop (Clancy being the company he worked for at the time) and put on the most ridiculous false smile you've ever seen.  But he didn't recognise anybody anyway and was soon back to his normal miserable scowling face!

He was back at work now, but overslept once again, making himself late.  He called in claiming to be ill as an excuse, then his earache really returned.  My mum always said never to lie about illness or it would come back and bite you on the we know it's true!

I had got a box of Sultana Bran at Tesco the day before and had some breakfast that morning.  I liked it but it was much chewier and not as nice as Raisin Bran Crunch.  I was missing Hershey Chocolate too!  Things just didn't feel right in the UK somehow.

Having said that, we had tomato soup and rice for dinner which was very nice.  I had missed eating warm meals at regular times while on holiday.  Although I guess that has more to do with my travelling companions than with being in a different location.  People don't generally starve on holidays!

Mum was still suffering from her two and a half weeks of semi-fasting.  She had a bad stomach and her depression was rubbing off on me right at a time when I needed to try to be cheerful and positive in a country I didn't want to be in!  It was hard to feel cheerful when I STILL had such a bad cold and cough though.

June 8th 2011

I didn't wake up until 12.10pm.  How crazy.  I wondered if I would ever get myself turned around to GMT hours again!  I had spent another night on the telephone though...and then had been further disturbed by David listening to a loud radio in the loft.  How was I supposed to sleep at the right time with all of these interruptions?!

I didn't leave the house again.  No wonder I wanted to leave that darn place.  I was so depressed and my hair felt sickly again.  Funnily enough, it had felt better in the USA.  Was it simply because I had been happier over there, or maybe the different humidity/climate?  I know my skin improved when we were in Iceland many years ago due to the water quality.  Perhaps this was a similar thing.  Maybe England really didn't suit my health and it wasn't all psychological after all!

Mum was still in a deep depression, moaning about making alterations to her will "before she died".  Apparently the wording made reference to "Emma's children" and this needed to be changed to "grandchildren" as "you never know what might happen".  Well, with the only guy I would have ever even considered as a father for my children partially paralysed in a foreign hospital with no way of sponsoring me even if he'd wanted to, I think it was a little premature to be thinking along those lines!  Actually I found it a bit offensive that she was STILL waffling on about me having children at a time when it was becoming clearer that I would never have a family of my own.

David seemed to have taken on the photograph scanning job that I had started before we went away.  Good for him. I had given myself a bad back sitting on the floor for hours on end scanning Mum's old pictures so it was nice to have a rest from it.  Then I took a look at the way he was scanning them.  WTH?  All of the photos were mixed up in unmarked folders (no dates whatsoever) and he was scanning all of the pictures two to a page, meaning I had to crop and separate them all anyway.  It was like he just couldn't be bothered and was rushing the job.  These were all of my childhood photos too (including my precious coin operated kiddie ride picture collection).  Needless to say, I ended up re-scanning everything in the format that Mum liked anyway.

Not yet though, as many of the pictures were still at the storage depot.  He refused to bring them all back because we supposedly "didn't have space for them all".  This lead to another argument on how Mum should have sold Woodberry and built a loft conversion in Grottsville as there was no space for all of his junk here.  Well, in case you don't recall, David, the hope was that we would move here in time for me to go to college for free to get the qualifications that you didn't allow me to get at school at the correct age.  Of course, the work got dragged out for so long that I didn't get here in time anyway.  But even so, he KNOWS I wouldn't leave the house in Grottsville due to the weirdo drunks who used to follow me home every time I walked out of my own front door.  I guess that didn't matter to him though, as long as he could keep all of his old rubbish.

June 9th 2011

David overslept again and had to book an entire day off of work.  He'd already got the afternoon off to see the local council about getting a parking permit for his company car so I suppose it was only the morning that was wasted really.

Having slept at Grottsville the night before, he didn't roll up at Woodberry until 2.30pm.  He arrived with Mum's jumpers and some more of the stuff that she had insisted was put into the storage depot before we went away.  Then he went to Ealing Broadway to return a library book.

He didn't even offer us the chance to go with him, despite the fact that he knew I needed to go to The Body Shop to claim my free £5 birthday gift and to Savers to buy some facial wipes.  Nowadays I would just run there by myself but it would appear that at that time I didn't even do that much alone (I forget how much progress I actually have made, considering my life is still so abnormal!)

As it turned out, I was pretty glad that we hadn't been invited though.  While he was at the library, somebody broke into the car.  Don't ask me why they picked our car.  It hardly looked like it belonged to a rich person who would be storing valuables in the boot.  Still they smashed the back window and tore the boot open.  All they found were carrier bags full of bubblewrap and other packaging materials for eBay though.  They must have been very disappointed.

Mum and I couldn't have got back in the car with all of those shards of broken glass on the seat though so we would have ended up walking home in our semi-jetlagged, wobbly state if we had been invited to Ealing!

Of course, while we were grateful that nothing had actually been stolen, we still had to get the window and back seat repaired.  David took the car to Grottsville as this was "an easier location for the bloke he'd chosen to come and fix it".  The bloke then announced that he wasn't coming until another entire day was wasted.  David spent the rest of the day in Grottsville reading books and newspapers/watching TV and I didn't leave the house again except to walk out into the street to take the above photographs.  I was feeling so fat and unfit.  I really wanted to walk but Mum was still too weak and had made me feel guilty about going without her.

June 10th 2011

I used the fact that we needed bananas and milk as an excuse to walk to South Ealing.  My shopping trip was not very successful.  There were no bananas in the Co-Op or Sainsburys and I discovered that we actually DID have enough milk for breakfast so I had wasted 45p for nothing!

I visited the three charity shops while I was there and bought a nice dress for £4.00.  The neckline was a little low for my standards but I figured I could wear it around the house if nothing else.

A vile road sweeper felt it necessary to actually stop work to leer at me and whistle as I walked past.  Suddenly I remember another reason that I had been put off of walking out of my own front door.  Men make me feel sick.

In the evening, we went to Osterley Tesco where I experienced my second nasty man of the day.  This one actually followed me around the shop, blatantly staring.  Crikey, anybody would think I was a super model.  I presume all women go through this but they just learn to turn a blind eye to these inferior creatures.

It was an unpleasant outing all round really.  The car seat and floor was still covered in tiny pieces of glass which got stuck to my trousers, and felt dirty from where the would-be thief had broken in the day before.  Then David dropped a bottle of bleach at the checkout and shouted at ME that it was all my fault for "not putting my bag down". (?!)  I had my bag on my shoulder while I opened carrier bags for him actually.  I'm not quite sure how putting my bag down would have prevented him from dropping a bottle on the other side of the checkout!

I spent most of the day on the front room floor with the computer/scanner and did a ton of scanning but Mum still didn't think that I had done enough.  "Well," she said, sitting on her sofa throne and reading a magazine, "I suppose you haven't done any for a few days so you needed to ease yourself back into it".  I'd only scanned five packets of photos (around 150 pictures), you know?!

She also kindly told me that "my face was changing with age and I now looked like Katie".  Katie is a cousin she has always hated.  Nice.  Way to make me feel good about my appearance, Mum!

Sparkle Dental Boutique rang and postponed my next orthodontic appointment by a week, which was rather disappointing as I was eager to get the work done.  My special toothbrush with flossing brush on the handle had broken while we were in the USA too and I was hoping that they would give me a replacement.  But no, they said that any replacement would have to be bought from them at an exorbitant price.  I would have to make do without flossing my teeth properly...not something I wanted to do while I was wearing braces and my teeth were at a higher risk of decay.  But there was no way I could afford an expensive new toothbrush every couple of months.

Wow, an entire week written out in one blog entry!  If only I could keep that up, maybe I really would be able to catch up again someday.  Anybody want to place bets on me doing so?!  No?  Thought not.

Best wishes,
DesirĂ©e  xxx

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