Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Hair Loss, Non-Existent Dresses, Littlest Pet Shop and Picky People!

We have another great blog for you tonight, ladies and gents.  Remember to bring your pillows because it gets pretty boring at some points...

August 26th 2011

Mum woke me early as my Skype "friend" had supposedly sent me a dress to thank me for being so supportive towards him after his accident (she would not go to the door to a postman herself!)  However, once again, the parcel did not arrive.

I had still had seven hours sleep but was incredibly tired and had to take a nap that afternoon!  Whatever was wrong with me?  I think I had sleeping sickness!

My hair was continuing to fall out and stress me "despite being sprayed".  Uh...Desirée-of-the-Past, I really don't think using dry hair shampoo was doing it any favours whatsoever!

In the evening, David and I went to Osterley Tesco.  I picked up a very exciting Tesco Direct catalogue, featuring a selection of ugly G4 ponies and what appeared to be a cardboard castle for them.  At least this is how I've described it in my blog notes.  Any idea what that might have been?  (Maybe it was a prototype in the stock photo?)

Despite being August, It never seemed to stop raining.  In fact, the rain was so heavy that Mum rang us to ask if we had got to Tesco safely through it!

We were supposed to be going to Grottsville after Tesco.  Instead of that, David went to the bathroom until it was too late to go (and wasted my evening in the process since I didn't start doing anything just in case I was going out!)

There was obviously something wrong with the drains as every time David flushed the loo in the loft, there came the most DREADFUL smell downstairs in the extension.  God, it was just like living in a sewer.  Was there anything in this house that the stupid architect HADN'T messed up?

David was proclaiming to be broke again and asking Mum for money...while still continuing to buy endless newspapers and unpleasant publications for himself.

August 27th 2011

David wasted another day.  He claimed to have a bad stomach caused by food poisoning which gave him a good excuse not to rise until 4pm!  (A new record?!)

This also caused me to waste the day, as I didn't want to start any of my jobs in case there was a chance of David coming downstairs and taking us out somewhere.  As it happened, the furthest I got was a brief drive to Grottsville late that night to check the house.

Despite his stomach troubles, David announced that he wanted chips for dinner.  Alas, none of our favourite shops were open by that time so we decided to try some from the Chinese chip shop around the corner.  Never again.  Ugh, they were so greasy and made Mum and I feel like throwing up.  I have no idea how David could stomach them.

Mum had one of her dreadful pains straight after dinner.  She was rolling around the floor, clutching her side, when David decided to be nasty to her because he was "really ill".  Indicating she wasn't.  Well, I don't think she was rolling about for the fun of it!

My nerves were driving me crazy again.  My hair was still falling out badly which made my panic attacks even worse (I think it's called a never ending vicious circle...)  I ended up shivering and shaking by the evening, clinging to a hot water bottle even though it wasn't cold.  David then decided to pick on me too.  "If your hair was really falling out that fast, you really WOULD be bald by now!  It's probably only happening because it needs to be washed!"  His comments caused me to panic and rinse my hair at 11.30pm...which only made it dry greasy, ugly and thinner than ever.  Well, if I was going to wash it, I should have at least used proper shampoo and conditioner!

There was no post at all that day so I still didn't receive my dress.  I set up an eBay and Paypal account for my mum.  Well, there you go, you see?  I didn't waste the whole day!

August 28th 2011

My hair looked absolutely awful, following its 'midnight rinse'.  It was falling out in clumps now and driving me utterly mad.  I'd rather have my whole head shaved than watch it go slowly like this.  But Mum wouldn't hear of that, of course.

Both of my parents decided to pick on me regarding my stress, in fact.  David was STILL on at me that it was "only falling out because it was dirty".  Mum was just ranting at me that I "should never have wanted a nice hairstyle" as "they cost too much money" (well, good that I never got to have one then!), as do wigs.  She "would swap her stomach ache for my hair loss any day"!  I "would just have to learn to put up with it because hair follicles NEVER come back once they die and there's NO cure"!  Nice to be surrounded by such sympathetic folk, eh?

We went to Grottsville to try to do some more tidying up in the library but didn't get very far.  My stress levels prevented me from doing much and David was eager to get me away from there as usual, claiming that it was not good for my allergies (never bothered him when we were living there!)

I had a dreadful stomach ache and started shaking at the slightest little thing.  I wished I could kick out these anxiety attacks and find a way to live a normal life.

August 29th 2011

I had been promised two Bank Holiday car boot sales...but my alarm clock failed me and I didn't wake up until 7.05am.  By that time, it was too late to get to Walton-on-Thames, but we still made our weary way to Epsom.  Well, to be honest, it was probably too late for Epsom, but I was determined to go somewhere!

I didn't enjoy it much anyway.  I got too hot, overtired and sick of all the young blokes leering at me.  There were no ponies to be seen, just a G3 playmat/felt bag kind of thing and lots of Care Bears which I left behind.  I did get two My Pretty Mermaids for 20p and a bunch of Littlest Pet Shops (with accessories) for £12.00 though...

All but the LPS ducks have since been sold, by the way.  I ended up making a nice little profit on the Pet Shops.  The couple selling the LPS sets were convinced that they had sold to me before (unfortunately, they hadn't...I would have liked to have got some more LPS sets from them as they were in such lovely condition!) and the man tried to force a LPS Zoo Playset on me.  I knew I couldn't ship such a large item easily however, so I turned it down.  Now I wonder what was packed inside it!

David went to sleep for two hours upon our return.  Well, he told us that he didn't.  He only stayed up in the loft because he "thought we had to eat" and "wouldn't want to do anything else".  He had "called us when he came out of the bathroom".  Really?  Neither of us had heard a thing...not so much as a toilet flush, and I think we would have smelled that!

That night we went to Grottsville again to collect my My Beautiful Horses collection.  I had nowhere to keep them here at Woodberry, but couldn't stand to leave them there any longer.

I had a wonderful NINE bids on eBay.  I was really going to clear the house and escape to Canada at that rate...not.

August 30th 2011

David took a sick day off work.  He wasn't really sick, he just had the aftermath of his "food poisoning", so we were disappointed that he didn't do more with his spare time.

He had prevented me from going to bed by listening to a loud radio until 2am that morning so I couldn't get up.  My parents were pleased because this allowed them to do an hour of ancestry with me "out of their hair".  I was not pleased because I had so much to do.  After I got up, David went back to bed!

The cheque he had given to the orthodontist had bounced so he had to spend ages at the bank in Ealing Broadway that afternoon, trying to find out the reason.

Mum and I eventually got to go to Greenford, but only for long enough to buy a roll of brown paper.  There was no time to look around the charity shops or photograph the rides as I would have liked to do.

Emma read one of my blog entries and got offended about something I'd written regarding a dream I'd had.  I'm still not really sure why, but I immediately deleted that part of the entry...and then I was put off of writing any more.  One of the reasons I slipped so far behind with this thing!

August 31st 2011

There was still no sign of either dress - oh, didn't I tell you?  I had also bought myself a dress...the one I'd fallen in love with at Primark but hadn't been able to find in my size!  I'd spotted it on eBay at a bargain price and couldn't resist.

I did some more scanning for Mum and began re-watching my favourite Call of the Wild TV series on DVD.  This prompted me to look at Shane's Wikipedia page where I noticed he had updated his information with the names of his new agent and manager in LA.  I hoped this meant we would be seeing more from him soon...however, it would appear some people are too "picky" to accept any jobs that they are offered these days.  Then again, there's not a lot of work out there to pick from, is there?  Tsk tsk.

I wrapped up a lot of eBay parcels.  Mum very pointedly told me that she liked every item I had managed to sell.  I think she just wanted to stop me making any money whatsoever.

We had to go to the wonderful Grottsville again to collect some more eBay items.  I'd only sold 14 things in total this time so it didn't take long.  However, by that time, David had started watching TV so I was trapped there as my allergies worsened.  I dug out my Grand Champions collection to bring home (despite having nowhere to put them!) but couldn't do much else to clear up over there.

We stopped at Tesco on the way back in search of toothpaste.  They had confusingly changed all the packaging and seemed to have discontinued the type I used.  Great.  Anything too minty makes me feel sick so I had been happy to find one that didn't affect me.  Typical of my luck.

David hadn't said that we were going to Tesco and I got upset about my hair and worried that I hadn't covered my bald patches properly.  I ended up rushing back to the car before David was ready to leave so that I didn't have to be seen in society any longer and got worryingly out of breath.  How had I got so unfit?

That's all for today, folks!

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Ten days disappeared in a puff of smoke!

God, where did the last ten days go?!  So much stress and so little time for anything but stress.  I can't believe I let more time slip by again when I'm already so far behind!

August 21st 2011

We took Kiera to Redwings Horse Sanctuary to see her adoption horse Rhadlon's birthday party.  I filmed a lot of the party and uploaded it to Youtube if anybody wants to watch...

It was lovely to spend time with all of the horses - I felt so calm when I was with them, feeding and hugging them.  I need more contact with animals.  Three little shetlands named Tommy, Blair and Lily stole my heart in particular.  They were absolutely adorable but sadly I didn't take any photographs of them.  I could have spent all day with Lily - she was such a gentle little thing and just wanted to rest her head on my shoulder when I knelt down to talk to her.

Kiera got bored and hungry soon after the party so we didn't get to stay as long as I would have liked, but I did get to see my own adoption horse Dolly up close at long last.  Usually she's far away on the other side of the paddock but she actually came up to say hello for once.

I took LOTS of nice photographs but I have just selected a few (hundred) of my favourites to post here:

We stopped at McDonalds on the way home and I had fries as well as a McFlurry.  My braces somehow managed to get twisted and I had to go back to the car to look in the mirror and pop them back into place.  This upset Kiera and I felt really horrible but I couldn't have sat there with uncomfortable wires, not knowing what had happened in my mouth until we got back to the car.

When we got back to Emma's house, we had a "farewell party" for Boo (Abigale's Redwings adoption horse who passed away).  We released a balloon (on which Abigale had lovingly drawn a picture of Boo) and ate cakes also decorated with pictures of Boo.  It had been Abigale's idea and I think it was a really nice way for her to say goodbye to Boo.

We asked her where she wanted to go for her outing with us (now that Boo had passed away, we obviously wouldn't be going to see him).  The only thing she could come up with was that she would like to visit us at Woodberry and see my MLP collection.  How sad that the place was in such a mess.  I would have loved for Abigale to come and play ponies with me but it wasn't to be.

I got another 150 items listed on eBay in the evening, despite my usual post-babysitting migraine!  Why did the house look no clearer?

August 22nd 2011

David drove us to Grottsville at 11.15am for my latest appointment with the doctor about my hair.  It was a complete waste of time as my doctor had failed to make a note of me on the computer system so I wasn't allowed in!

Mum and I had both forgotten the phone so couldn't even call David to collect us.  Hence we got stuck sitting on a bench outside the surgery for fifteen minutes while we waited for him.

My hair had felt okay when I had first got up anyway but worsened throughout the day as I got more worked up about it.  I was determined to keep a more positive frame of mind but it wasn't easy in the circumstances.  I was really missing those horses today...if I could only spend every day in equine company, I think I'd be a whole lot happier!

Mum was in her usual horrible post-grandchildren mood.  She was concerned about getting the place into a decent enough state that "her children" could visit because she "didn't mind them coming to see my toys".  Now you know I just said how much I would have liked Abigale to be able to come and play with my ponies (because she has always been very gentle with her toys and I know no harm would come to them in her hands), however comments like that really rile me up.  Since when has it been MUM'S place to say that she doesn't mind her unruly grandchildren coming to touch my possessions.  The other kids, especially the younger two, are NOT like Abigale and could easily damage my ponies.  Ah, but who cares?  Mum doesn't mind that!  They are her children, after all!

I tried to do some more tidying up.  I sorted through three bags of plush toys but didn't get very far.  I wanted to downsize and get rid of at least 2/3 of them, but I found it hard to discard my childhood "cuddly friends".

I had another lovely Skype chat in the evening which resulted in another two kiddie ride discoveries!

First we found this Skegness postcard from c1978 showing "Neddy" (kind of hard to see but he's behind the road sign on the right of the picture!)  Prior to finding this picture, I had only ever seen one of these mules...many years ago in Felixstowe with my grandad who insisted on putting his hand in the mules open mouth and pretending to be bitten!  As it later turned out, this version of the mule was actually made by a different company...but I was only learning back then.

Then we each found a photograph of what we then believed to be a RG Mitchell aeroplane that I'd never seen before...within five minutes of each other.  Sorry, I can't remember who uploaded these and can't seem to find them on Flickr any more but please do contact me if you want these removed or credit added...

The first was taken in Weymout c1972

The other was taken just outside Boston in 1974

I've since found out that this aeroplane was actually made by Ride-a-Matic (RAM) rather than RG Mitchell (RGM).  I'm sure RAM were copyring RGM though...if just in the fact that their footplates are near identical with just the middle initial changed.  The rides are similar in style too!

August 23rd 2011

A man came to look at the creaking, waterlogged extension roof.  Despite the fact that we were paying him good money to come and look at it, he decided that it was too much trouble to climb out on the roof in the rain and decided to just look at it through the bathroom window instead.  This meant tearing down the large Boots carrier bag that I had so carefully hung across the window in place of curtains to have some privacy whilst dressing in the mornings.  And we didn't have another bag of that size!

The man then wanted to take a look through my bedroom window.  Knowing that I had run into my room and slammed the door to hide from the humiliation of seeing a workman in such a cluttered house, David played for time.  "The other room is, uh, a bit sensitive..." he said.  I laughed, remembering how I had slammed the door as they had walked up the stairs.  The man must have thought it was a very sensitive room indeed.  It even closed its own door because it was so shy!  David needn't have worried, I was already safely hidden in the cupboard.  And it's a good job that I had moved everything out of the cupboard then really as I had discovered yet another problem with the house.  The bottom of my cupboard was cracking and caving in under the weight of the crates that I had stacked inside it.  Because of this, I had to move everything back into the hobby room, much to Mum's outrage, until we could get somebody to strengthen the floor of the cupboard.

We went to Grottsville that evening to take some of David's laundry back and collect the mirror from the Communal Bedroom which was now to hang behind my bedroom door.  David started hoovering while I was there and my allergies returned.  I also had too much time (considering it was dark and I was unable to do anything productive there) to start worrying about leaving my stuff in that house with all the local drunkards and thugs around.  But what could I do?  I never got any time there in the daylight to sort through my belongings.

We stopped at McDonalds on the way back so that my parents could have fries.  I was going to have a Flake McFlurry but the chocolate sauce pump was empty.  Just my luck.  Oh well, considering I'd already eaten chocolate ice cream earlier, it was probably for the best!

I had a mysterious scab on my leg which kept bleeding.  I had to limp all the way down the stairs from the bathroom in order to find a plaster, all the time holding a piece of toilet roll to the relevant place.  Mum stood and laughed at me as I rummaged around in the medicine cupboard in search of a plaster...nice woman.

August 24th 2011

I had to return to the doctor, and really didn't want to go.  It was pointless and depressing.  I was referred to Ealing Hospital to see a dermatologist but the doctor admitted that not much could be done for hair loss.  In other words, I was slowly going bald and there was nothing I could do about it.

In the evening, we returned to Grottsville to collect a cardboard box for a plate I'd sold on eBay.  David promised to help me cut it down to size but didn't get round to it.  Why didn't he just say he had no intention of doing it so that I could do it myself?!

We had to stop at his old office in West Ealing to collect an orange jacket and helmet on the way back...don't ask, I don't remember the answer!  While he was in the office, three drunks staggered past the car (where Mum and I were sitting) and I got an instant headache.  It just shows how much stress I was under - no wonder I was losing my hair!

I had no idea how to clear the place up.  Mum was shouting and shouting at me, specifically about Abigale wanting to visit, but I didn't know what I could do, especially now that my cupboard was out of use.  I was told that adjusting my cupboard would affect my pony shelves too, meaning all of the ponies would have to be boxed up and put somewhere again.  Is collecting a large quantity of items really worth the stress they cause?

I had another nice Skype chat in the evening and found some more ride pictures on Flickr and Pathe News.  I didn't write down anything about the rides in question, you'll be pleased to know!

August 25th 2011

I found a carpet beetle larvae in the hobby room.  I kept very quiet about that around Mum though, knowing how she would react to "my bl**dy stuff encouraging vermin"!  I photographed another bag of plush toys to sell and even hardened my heart enough to throw some away.  Yes, I was getting desperate!

My hair was driving me mad.  Not only did it feel horribly thin, but the back of my head was covered in painful scabs.  I'm now sure those were caused by a mixture of sweat and that darn steroid gel.

We went to McDonalds again in the evening where Mum had fries and David and I had Flake McFlurries.  Poor Mum didn't even get to eat all of her fries before we had to drive off, thanks to some vile teenage yobs harassing us in the car park.  Why don't their parents keep them off the streets?  They're obviously not mature enough to be wandering around without adult supervision!

In ride news: Mr Unnamed and I found two more lovely videos.

First up, we have some Edwin Hall rides at Heathrow Airport in 1958...

And then the unnamed one found this lovely video of an Edwin Hall horse (and other rides) at St Ives in 1990 (see 5:21)...

Better than that, he found a picture from 2003, showing that the horse was STILL THERE even then!

(Original photo from

Oh, how I wish I'd got to meet and ride that beauty when I was a little girl!  Sadly, we never visited St Ives or I'm sure we would have had a nice photograph of him for the website.

Phew!  One more blog entry!  Please give me a good kick up the backside if I let this slip again.  If I'd kept up at the rate I had been writing at, I'd be 45 days further forward now!

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

Saturday, 9 August 2014

I get carried away...

I dream of him and me, and how it's gonna be.

You know the blogs are getting boring when I have to use song lyrics for titles because nothing noteworthy happens within the entry!

August 16th 2011

My hair was falling badly again.  Soon I would have none left.  I had to see my sister in a couple of days and was dreading it because I felt like I looked so much worse than the last time I had seen her.

My gums were also very sore between my top front teeth where the gap was closing.  Don't get me wrong, I would be pleased to be rid of that ugly gap at long last but the pain was dreadful!

We went to Osterley Tesco in the evening.  The big MLP display stand was gone and the ponies were now on the regular shelves at the end of the toy aisle.  I wonder what happened to the stand?  I'm glad I'd taken photographs of it anyway.

My allergies were still very bad from the little bit of tidying up we had done at Grottsville the previous day.  I was desperate to clear Woodberry, but I always felt so tired, ill and stressed and the dust just pushed me too far.

In other news, David managed to break a spoon whilst trying to get some ice cream for himself.  That man's talents know no limits when it comes to damaging things!  How does he do it?  I had tried some of his chocolate ice cream earlier but I hadn't come anywhere close to breaking my spoon!

August 17th 2011

I didn't leave the house.  I was in a dreadful state about my hair.  What little remained of it was full of flakes of dry skin, and still it kept falling.  Mum seemed to be in denial and didn't want me to even talk about options like getting it cut shorter or looking at wigs.

She had another bout of her terrible stomach pain and kept pacing around screaming, "I can't bear it!  I can't bear it!" as if she were in labour.  No wonder I was stressed!

I tried to sort out my bedroom cupboard and cleared the landing but there just wasn't enough space for everything.  I had to be ruthless.  I decarded my G3 Tiny Tins Ponies so that they would fit on my pony shelves (yeah, like that would make any difference to the mess!) and tried to fit even more into the cupboard!  Mum was moaning at me all the time for not cleaning the hobby room.  Well, I couldn't be everywhere at once, especially when my allergies were still so bad from Grottsville.

I had a lovely long Skype chat with the one who shall remain unnamed in the evening, and together we found some more ride photographs on Flickr.  Firstly, we found some pictures of old Edwin Hall rides at Bridlington in the 1960s...

(Photographs by Graham Smith Family Stuff and Ravensthorpe)

I was feeling pretty happy with these (we found some other Bridlington photos as well, these are just a selection of the best) when the unnamed one stumbled across something very sad.

This is Bendricks Arcade and Social Club in Barry, Wales.  Apparently it closed to the public during the 1990s at which point it seems to have been totally abandoned with all of the amusement machines still in place.  Unfortunately, it has since been victim to multiple arson attacks and general vandalism and not much has survived...just enough to give a tantalising glimpse of what a wonderful place this must have been for a vintage ride fanatic like myself.  The photographs above show a Joyride speedboat, as does the one below...

I'm not quite sure why the arcade would have had two identical rides, but these are clearly different examples of the same model, given the different coin slots.

The photographs just get sadder after that...

Oh, Pongo, whatever happened to your base?  It looks like you were attacked by giant rats!

But at least they didn't drag YOU away like poor Rudolph...

By far, the most heartbreaking picture to me however was this image of the very first wooden RG Mitchell ride, Rocky (or "The Pony Express")...

He appears to be more or less intact, complete with his original paintwork.  These rides must have been well looked after in their day.  Two years later, this photograph was taken...

I presume the "Jade" who so proudly signed its name on the wooden panel was the one who finished off this beautiful piece of amusement history.  What is wrong with people?  If they wanted to commit a crime, at least steal the horse, restore it and sell it rather than mindlessly destroying it for fun!

(These photographs are obviously NOT mine and come from various Flickr users including Ben Salter.  I can't find the other users now so maybe they have since removed their pictures.  If you are the owner of one of these photographs and either want it removed from my blog or a credit given, please contact me).

Following on from this sad discovery, Mr Unnamed had a look on Google and found Elephant House Auctions (no idea why I hadn't seen them before - they hold sales of amusement and fairground-related merchandise four times a year) who had sold this beauty for £60 a couple of months previously...

Unlike the Barry Rocky, this one's paintwork does not appear to be original, but somebody has made a good attempt at replicating it!  It's nice to know that one example had lived on anyway.

August 18th 2011

My hair was still disturbing me.  I couldn't bear how horribly "flat" it looked and felt on top now.

My teeth were still killing me too.  There was a notable difference in the gap between my front teeth but the 'pinching' feeling in my gums was unbearable!  I'd also managed to cut my lip on my braces again the previous night which didn't make things any better.

The rest of the day seems to have been idled away on Skype doing ride research again.  My "Pennies by the Sea" book had arrived (for those who don't know, this is a book about the history of amusement arcades in Bridlington) and "Mr Unnamed" wanted me to read it to him since the poor thing was so "bored" and unable to get around with his paralysed arm in a sling.  Another book had actually arrived with my book (the packets had got stuck together) but luckily we are honest people and popped it back in the post in the hopes it might make its way to its owner this time.  Maybe I should have kept it and read that one aloud on Skype too.  We were certainly getting through "Pennies by the Sea" at a rapid speed!

After I had read a couple of chapters, we began searching for more ride pictures.  As usual, I came up with nothing and mystery man came up trumps.  Well, he came up with another very sad photograph anyway.  This time it was a picture taken in Hornsea in 2007 entitled "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?" (If that was supposed to be a joke, I don't find it very funny...)

(Photograph by Flickr user Trawets1)

Oh dear.  Poor, poor Silver.  I remember riding this horse when I was a child.  In fact, here is the photographic proof, taken in 1999...

This was one of only four large 1960s Edwin Hall horses I ever saw, the others being in Bognor, Whitby and Dymchurch.  He was by far the most "original" with his leather harness and even original paintwork (however worn it may have been).  I'd never forgotten this horse and hoped I might see him again one day.  How sad that such a majestic beast should end up losing a leg after half a century of serving the children so well.

A nice lady in Hastings answered my query about the Walter Streets horses on Hastings Pier.  She also remembered a white horse.  However, she believed that it was the only horse there, indicating that maybe my black horse was the same one repainted.  Having said that, she also remembered having to put the coin in its neck to operate it, so perhaps it was a different horse entirely.

We went to Grottsville late that night to set the timer for Friendship is Magic.  Somewhat pointless.  I just had to rewind through the last three episodes again because they were still repeating the first half of the series.  AND David had managed to record over the Tesco advert that I had been so proud to catch in the short time that we were at Grottsville.

August 19th 2011

We took Allan to the RAF Museum in Hendon.  It was better than I had feared, but not a particularly pleasant day.  Allan ran and jumped everywhere, ran up and jumped on me from behind several times scaring me half to death and caused me to get into a bad mood about vegetarianism by keep telling me to try meat because I was missing out on tasty food!

David didn't seem to be very well either.  He almost fell asleep in the car and kept finding more exhibits to look at when Allan had already finished at the museum and was bored.  Still, Allan got to be a pilot which was more than the rest of us did!

Amazingly, far from wanting everything in the gift shop as we had feared, he couldn't find anything that he wanted at all.  He had learnt to read prices now and seemed to be put off by how expensive everything was, even though we told him that we were happy to buy him a souvenir of his day out with us!

We went to McDonalds on the way back to my sister's house.  Instead of having the usual fries, I tried a Flake McFlurry (Mum was too scared to have one in case she got an upset tummy)...then Allan wanted one of those as well on top of his Happy Meal!

There was a really creepy man standing outside McDonalds.  He watched a woman leave the restaurant and was straining his neck to even watch her getting into her car.  I was a bit worried that I was watching the early signs of a murder scene and that he was about to pursue her and hi-jack her car before driving her to a dark forest or something, but fortunately he just went back to eating his burger!

My hair was still falling badly and I was trying desperately to remain calm about it.  Ironically, it seemed better when we were out although it can't have made any physical difference!  It just shows that my own stress levels were making it worse in more ways than one.

When we got back to Emma's house, I found that Abigale had picked up one of the G4 leaflets at Tesco for me.  I was quite touched to know that she had thought about me.  She'd also drawn pictures for us all.  I still have that leaflet and picture.  I don't get to see enough of my nephews and nieces really.

August 20th 2011

Another wasted saturday.  I came downstairs, trying to stay in a positive frame of mind.  I attempted to make casual conversation with my mum and she cut me dead, only wanting to burble on and on about how wonderful my sister and her children were.  You've never seen such a performance of comparisons between me and my sister - Emma this and Emma that.  Well, perhaps Emma had more support from her family when she was younger and was able to become a healthy, happy adult.

When David came down, Mum started afresh.  She couldn't stop.  The children are so perfect and do this and that so much better than Desirée ever did at their ages etc.  In the end, I got so angry that I shouted at them.  I never went to school or socialised with other children, of course they're going to have better social skills and be able to do things that I was never taught to do.  David then turned on me and told me to "get off my a** and do something for myself", indicating at the computer as if I was lazy.  I was actually listing on eBay at the time which was about all I knew how to do for myself, trying to make a bit of pin money when I didn't have the knowledge/courage to face up to my parents and get an education or job.

I noticed my hair falling out again after that.  I don't believe that stress could have such an instant impact on it though so I think it must have been a psychological problem and it was really falling out all the time.

David spent hours in the bathroom that afternoon before coming down to tell us how he had been sick and describe the colour and texture of his vomit.  Nice.  He can't have felt that bad though because he then spent the entire evening "hoovering his stamp collection".  I kid you not.  Mr Unnamed didn't believe me when I told him that was the reason there was no privacy to talk to him on Skype that night.  Well, if you're still reading this, I finally bring you the evidence...

We went to Grottsville late that night and David told me again that I "should look through the hoover bag" for the tiny Teeny Weeny Families accessories that he had hoovered up.  For the last time, I'd never find such tiny pieces anyway and how on Earth would I be able to cope with all that dust if I couldn't even do general clearing out over there without having breathing problems for days afterwards.

He started another argument as we left the house, saying that my unhappiness was all down to me.  "It's all your own fault that you wouldn't go to school," he said.  I don't actually remember being offered the chance to go to school, but whatever.  Nasty man.

And so ends another exciting blog entry.  Tune in tomorrow for the daily b-ore-log!

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

Friday, 8 August 2014

The Sleep-Blogger!

Some people have a midnight snack, others sleepwalk.  Me?  I sleep-blog!

August 11th 2011

We walked to Sparkle Dental Boutique for my hygienist appointment.  I saw a new Danish lady who was very nice, if a little eccentric.  She told me her whole life story before insisting I sat through a video about gingivitis.  "I'm not saying you have it but, the more we know about it, the better we can prevent it," she said.

We had a walk around Boston Manor Park on the way home.  It was nice to feed the ducks, geese and pigeons again.  We also met a very shy squirrel who couldn't keep his eyes off of the ducks' bread but refused to come near enough to us to eat any.  If we threw some on the ground, the pigeons mobbed us and scared him away.  Eventually Mum had a brainwave - she pressed some of the bread on to the tree bark where the squirrel could get to it but the pigeons couldn't!

I still couldn't get over the riots and had an awful dream about them.  This wasn't helped by the fact that the extension roof kept creaking loudly.  In reality, I think it was either next door banging around in their own extension, or possibly the insulation in the roof was waterlogged again.

I was exhausted from so many sleepless nights and couldn't stay awake, much less do anything productive.  I wrapped a few eBay parcels, but that was about it.

August 12th 2011

I went to Tesco at the Hoover Building.  I managed to pick up another of the dresses I had been looking for - a garish purple one which I didn't particularly like, but I wasn't about to turn down a dress in a style I might wear (having said that, it's still hanging in my wardrobe complete with tags three years later!) - and some brown wrapping paper.  I wasn't too pleased about buying it there because it was so expensive, but I obviously wasn't going to get to any of the cheap shops in time for the latest batch of eBay parcels.

I also picked up a "penny" (Yay, I'm rich!)...which then turned out to be 5 Euro cents.  Ugh.  Maybe I'm not rich after all.

We went to Grottsville afterwards to pick up David's "overnight bag".  Yes, every time he slept at Woodberry, it was as if he was packing to go on holiday!  While he gathered his stuff, I began putting a 101 Dalmatians jigsaw together (I intended to sell it and wanted to know if it was complete).  Then David refused to leave until it was completed!  Well, he always was a jigsaw fanatic.

Then Mum rang up to say she was hungry for her tea (she needed the bread that we had bought at Tesco).  She hadn't known that we were going further than the Tesco at Osterley.  It was very late so I'm not surprised she was hungry.  Still David refused to leave Grottsville until the puzzle was finished!

I didn't like driving through Ealing Broadway at 11pm anyway.  It was so eery and sad to see the burnt out shops - there were still police cars everywhere too.  There was an ambulance parked in South Ealing which I'm sure was not related to the riots in any way but it still sent me into another panic attack right before bed.

Mum was not happy that David had decided to sleep at Woodberry.  Her laundry was hanging in his bedroom and "wasn't dry yet" so he ended up sleeping on the living room floor instead!

Mum had washed another of her teddy bears, Cuthbert, while we were out and was upset that his "head had gone floppy".  Well, I suppose old bears don't appreciate being put through the washing machine.

August 13th 2011

David slept until 11am.  It was then that Mum rang him to find out how long he'd be in the shower room...only to find that he was still on the living room floor!

He went to Grottsville to post my latest batch of eBay parcels, then we all went to Ealing Broadway so that i could withdraw some cash and David could go to a different bank.  We also popped into WH Smith but that was all.  I didn't really like it there with the police everywhere and lingering signs of the riots.  The place still felt dirty and violated.  I wasn't sure if Ealing would ever feel the same again.

I had made £78 on eBay and was feeling quite pleased with myself.  Then I realised that one woman who had bought four items had only paid for two.  I had posted the two items (Dolly Mix Ponies) that morning but the other two (Pony Wear) were still sitting here.  I hoped she wasn't about to kick up stink about combined shipping, considering she had chosen to pay for the items separately!  I sent her a message but got no response.

August 14th 2011

We went to Laura Ashley to pick up their new catalogue.  David began "reading the catalogue" in the shop. (Although he was actually clearly staring OVER the catalogue at some passing women!)

We went next door to Family Bargains to buy Weetaflakes.  I also found a nice pair of cheap black shoes which I thought would go nicely with my black dresses.  I'd hoped to get another pair of the floral patterned shoes I'd bought there last time but they were all sold out in size 4.

We stopped at Grottsville very briefly on the way home.  It had to be brief because David "wanted to go to work, ALL RIGHT?!"  Well, how did he ever expect us to empty the house?  I threw away a pile of old paper plates that I had decorated as a child because they were covered in traces of biscuit and cake crumbs etc. and I figured they would attract mice and insects in the long run.  I used to use them at "pony parties" when I was seven or eight.  I did take some photographs before I binned them though.  (Excuse the primitive childish drawings!)

Also a paper cup depicting Tootsie (I think?) and Princess Moondust...

Sad to throw them away, but I suppose a photographic memory is better really.

We were back in the car with piles of stuff to take back to Woodberry and sort through when David suddenly opened my car door to tell me that he was going to set the timer for Friendship is Magic.  Needless to say, everything that had been balanced against the door fell out into the garden!  I was not happy and told him not to bother with the timer.  He said that he was going to cancel the television at long last anyway and there was no point recording part of the series without the rest of it.  We also knew they were still showing repeats so what was the point?

I had a nice long relaxing bath in the evening and wrote some emails.  I actually wore the dress that I had bought in MAPF after my bath and dared to bare my legs (much to Mum's amusement).  David was still at "work" at 1am when I went to bed, despite the fact he wasn't being paid.

August 15th 2011

David decided to take the afternoon off work because he was "a bit tired" after the ridiculous hours he'd worked the night before.  (I'm not really surprised!)  Mum kindly told him that he was not sleeping at Woodberry however, as she had another load of laundry on the airer in his bedroom and didn't want him to "make it smell".

So he went to Grottsville to sleep on the bathroom floor and took us to do a couple of hours work in the old communal bedroom.  We dismantled my old cot to get rid of it and emptied the wardrobe (which was originally intended for my bedroom here...until we discovered that David had scratched it by jamming rubbish between it and the cot).

I managed to get trapped behind the cot and all of the other junk that had been stored inside it.  It's hard to describe but I was in a very uncomfortable position, supporting the weight of the cot and a lot of the rubbish inside it.  No, don't ask me how I got into that situation!  Mum called David out of the bathroom to ask if he had a box she could use to pack some of the junk.  "We need a box," she called. "Desirée's trapped in and can't wait!"  "She'll have to wait," he snapped in reply.  When he finally came, he took some of the heavy stuff away from me before locking the side of the cot back into position...basically trapping me INSIDE the cot.  "I think it drops down again...somehow." he said.  Well, I should flippin' well hope it does!  "What's wrong with them?" he asked, indicating to the bars of the cot, "They're the same all over."  I don't quite know why he expected some of them to be different but it just further exhibited his incompetence.  No w I understand why the cot hadn't been dismantled seventeen years earlier!

David decided to sleep at Woodberry again that night.  Perhaps he had finally decided to move in with us?  I was getting a bit worried about all of our possessions that were still in Grottsville and seemed to have just been abandoned.  I needed to bring my stuff to Woodberry but there was nowhere to put it and my allergies were already playing up terribly.  My nose was completely clogged with grey dust-filled muck again.  Nice.

Mum kindly tried to offload her old night clothes on me.  Uh...thanks, but no thanks, Mum.

Phew, I really didn't think I was going to get this entry written tonight!  Then again, considering the boring drivel it was filled with, perhaps that would have been a good thing!

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx