Tuesday, 13 January 2015

Depression...and an Apparent Obsession with Ice Cream!

Five more dull days of my life...  Even my most dedicated readers might want to skip this one!

October 6th 2011

Mum and I walked to both Lammas and Walpole Parks to collect acorns for our friendly garden squirrel, "Peter".  There are no oak trees around this house so I don't think Peter had ever seen acorns before.  He seemed to appreciate the stash we brought for him!

I was very tired and dizzy upon my return which worried me somewhat.  Looking back at how little I was leaving the house at that point though, it's unsurprising that a long walk knocked me out!

Due to feeling ill, I wasted the afternoon watching TV and sorting out my eBay sales goods.  Somebody offered me £15 for my plush Keypers swan.  I had no idea that it was even worth that much so that was a nice surprise!

Mum spent her afternoon moaning about how SHE was losing HER hair.  Well, that made a change, I guess!  I did my fair share of moaning as well though.  The usual stress about my future - how would I ever get an education or a job?  And how would I pay Emma off so that I wasn't kicked out of my home if I was still stuck here when my parents are gone?  "Never mind that," Mum said bitchily, "Who says you COULD work if you get that tired and ill after a simple walk?"  Ooh, nasty.  "And why should you have to anyway?" she added.  Uh, how am I supposed to support myself without working?  Not to mention my dreams of emigration.  Those were met with dead silence.

We went to Grottsville that night to collect a G2 MLP jigsaw that somebody had enquired about...but I couldn't find it.  I needed to have all the eBay stock in the house I was living in so that I could sort through it and make sure there were no more errors.

We stopped at McDonalds on the way back but they had no ice cream again.  We were a bit luckier at the Brentford branch, but they STILL didn't serve the correct Galaxy McFlurry.  Instead, I was given a strange mix of ice cream, toffee sauce and Cadburys chocolate!  Well, it tasted nice anyway!  I wasn't able to enjoy it really though due to the gangs of loud thugs wandering around the car park. A ghastly man right next to the car kept leering at me.  I kept an eye on him and observed him taking a photograph of a strange woman who walked past him.  Yuck.  Then the gang began throwing food all over the road.  Somebody told them off but they just laughed hysterically.  Nice people.

October 7th 2011

Didn't leave the house again.  Was it really surprising that I got out of breath on the rare occasion that I did go out?

Anyway, it was yet another day wasted on idly watching TV, washing fakie ponies to sell and organising my sales goods.  I was too stressed and depressed to do much else but had no idea where to turn or how to improve my life on my own.  If I dared to ask for Mum's help, she'd threaten to "start shouting at me again" until I had to remove myself from the room and go to my bedroom to cry on my own.

David reluctantly went to check Grottsville that night.  He didn't offer me the chance to go with him, but that was probably just as well since he was gone for over two hours!

Oh boy, I was really struggling for things to write in the blog notes.  On this day in history, I tried apricot jam and decided I liked it!  Weren't you interested to hear that, blog readers?

October 8th 2011

I awoke at 9am.  Too late to go to the hairdresser.  And this was my last chance before our coach trip to Blackpool and Ponycon so now I would have to put up with walking around with my thinning rats' tails.  Ugh.

Our old street in Grottsville was featured on the front cover of the local paper.  Apparently it was the worst road in the area for anti-social behaviour.  The troublesome youths ignored the ban on public drinking and the problem had got even worse since a new off license had opened in the road.  Thank God we weren't actually living there any more!  But I still worried about the house and the rest of my stuff inside it.

We saw a wood mouse outside the back door eating the food we'd put out for the birds and squirrels.  Never mind though, Mum thought it was "cute" and continued to feed her animal friends regardless...which meant that the mouse returned.  I wondered if she'd find it so cute when it came into the house, considering her severe phobia of mice!

David went to Ealing Broadway to post one of my eBay parcels.  I only made 95p profit on it anyway so I don't know why he bothered.  It could have waited until there were a few more to post at the same time!  He didn't offer us the chance to go with him anyway.

We did go to the ever exciting Grottsville that evening to pick up some more eBay junk.  True to the newspaper article, there were gangs of nasty-looking youths everywhere.  It was so cold in that house as well.  The remaining ponies there were actually going brittle due to the temperature.  Why wouldn't David hurry up and clear the house out?

We went to Brentford McDonalds on our way home again and - success!  I finally got a real Galaxy Smooth Chocolate McFlurry!  If only all my goals could be achieved so easily...

A strange man on a motorbike knocked on the door late that night.  We didn't answer it.  I don't like unannounced callers at unsocial hours.

October 9th 2011

Mum's cousin wrote to say that his cat Molly had passed away.  He only ever gets in touch with her when one of his pets is ill (or worse)!  We had actually wondered if he might have been the mystery caller on the previous night, but obviously not.

We went to Hounslow Heath car boot sale but were very late.  David just would not get up in the mornings.  Even then, he made us sit in the car and wait with him while he ate his breakfast before we could go in.  It cost £1 each to go through the gate and it was utterly pointless.  Any ponies were long gone.  The usual toy dealer had a handfull of very overpriced MLPs in a Show Stable...but even those were gone by the time we left.  I got a Fairy Tail Bird with her perch for £1.50 but that was it.

When we got back, David went to the bathroom for hours before asking us to go to B&Q to look at paint colours for the kitchen shelves.  Mum was too hungry to go by that point so he shouted at both of us (!) and stormed out of the house.  He got some colour cards, none of which really matched the maple woodwork that we have in our kitchen, but decided to paint the shelves in one of the colours regardless.  It was Mum's fault for not jumping to it when he was ready to go to the shop.

Peter the squirrel had become maybe a little too friendly and kept trying to come in whenever we opened the back door!  Oh well, at least it wasn't his little wood mouse friend...yet.

October 10th 2011

Another day wasted in a flurry of depression.  I couldn't move for it.  We watched a lot of TV and I began sorting out my childhood My Beautiful Horses collection.  I found it was too dark in the front room though, especially as all the horses looked so similar!

We went to the storage depot to look for wallpaper but couldn't find it.  This was getting out of hand.  We never knew where to find anything.  Was it at Woodberry, Grottsville or one of the many rooms at the storage depot?  Something needed to be done to sort through our clutter and organise it!

Both Peter and our friendly robin (who, I'm ashamed to say, we never named) were both becoming a little too familiar now.  They would sit on the window ledge and beg for food and, when the door was opened, take it straight out of our hands!  I think my mum thought she was Dr Doolittle or something...

Gee, wasn't that worth reading?  I certainly don't think it was worth my time to write it!  Maybe I really should just write about the highlights, rather than trying to keep a record of everything.  It would make the catch up job a lot easier and a lot less tedious anyway!

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

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