Saturday, 21 February 2015

"Secret Alternate Universe Causes Tree To Blossom Early!" and other stories.

We certainly do meet some strange people (and always have done)!

December 11th 2011

We drove to Hanwell in search of a car boot sale...which had clearly been called off.  David yelled at me for not knowing the exact address but we were at the right school.  You can expect car boot sales to be cancelled at that time of year.  I don't know why my parents suddenly become active car booters in the coldest months of the year!

I was getting more and more self conscious about my thinning hair.  I was really starting to feel the need of something to cover my head with (if not a wig, a head scarf of some kind) but my parents claimed that I didn't need anything.

I watched Friendship is Magic but it was becoming more and more ridiculous.  It reminded me of an episode of Spongebob Squarepants with its silly jokes about Spike refusing to wash his cheek after being kissed by Rarity.  (I'm sure I remember seeing an episode of Spongebob while recording adverts once where that Squirrel character touched his hand and he refused to wash it.  Same unfunny gag.)  WHY did the bronies think it was so great that it was worth writing hate mail and death threats to innocent people over it?

I discovered that a lot of my In My Pocket figurines were missing as I started packing them up.  I had a horrible feeling that some might still be lost in the undergrowth in the garden at Grottsville.  I did used to play with them out there all the time, and I still remember my mum finding one that must have been left in a flower pot all winter without my noticing it being missing!  Hopefully there was just another box of them elsewhere in the house at Grottsville.  I was usually such a careful child...surely I couldn't have lost that many in the garden!

We were supposed to have another large calorie intake at McDonalds that evening but David decided to get some soup for himself so didn't want to take Mum and I.  Just as well really.  I think I'd have burst if I'd eaten any more fries!

December 12th 2011

Mum's friend Karen sent me a Parasol pony who had, um, come home in her bag from the local church fair where she had run the toy stall!  It was nice to get a surprise pony for the herd.

Mum and I had a walk in Lammas Park and saw a tree with that was already starting to blossom.


As I was taking photographs, a very strange woman walked up and started chatting to us and telling us why the tree was blossoming so prematurely.

Apparently it was caused by an alternate universe and its huge sun which was moving close to Earth at the moment.  Scientists are keeping quiet about this alternate universe so as not to worry people - NOT that it would get mentioned on the news anyway because politics always take priority.  The woman refused to move on until we assured her that we believed every word she had told us because "she didn't let many people in on her knowledge"...

Thankfully, we escaped from Lammas in one piece!  We walked up to the South Ealing charity shops but found nothing of interest.  We were really trying to find a post box in which to post Mum's letters but all of the post boxes were full to the brim with Christmas cards!

David kept ringing us all the time that we were in the charity shops to ask if we wanted him to give us a lift to Grottsville.  Mum kept putting the phone down on him to try to keep him away for long enough that we could get around the three charity shops and beat him back to the house (my laundry was on the airer and I wanted to put my underwear away before he got home).

Eventually just David and I went to Grottsville to collect the last In My Pockets (yes, I did find another box containing the missing figures!), a tape recorder and his suit.  He was annoyed when I started emptying a cupboard of other stuff to clear out/bring back with us.  Did he want the house emptied or not?!  Well, it was raining too heavily to bring much back anyway as it would have got soaked just moving it to and from the car.

We stopped at McDonalds on the way back, David not even having asked me if I wanted to.  (I think they wanted to fatten me up for Christmas, quite literally!)  I'd already had dinner so wasn't really hungry but would have had a McFlurry for dessert.  David ordered the usual fries though.  I made some kind of comment to say I wasn't hungry enough - not to worry though, he just ended up eating both packets!

December 13th 2011

David went to Borehamwood for a job interview, then wasted the rest of the day in the loo (reading a book with the door wide open!)

I didn't leave the house.  To be fair, I was offered the chance to go to Tesco in the evening but my hair felt so awful that I couldn't force myself out in public.  I was very depressed and kept crying, which only resulted in Mum yelling at me that "at least I wasn't in pain",  She had bad acid reflux and an upset stomach again, by the way.  Yes, maybe my problem didn't cause actual pain but it was certainly ruining my life.  I was already dreading having to go to the orthodontist and various other places that would force me out of the house because I didn't want anybody to see what a mess I looked.

I washed my MLP curtains and continued packing my In My Pocket collection into a crate.  I'd really hurt my hands trying to pull apart the little fenced enclosures etc., to flat pack everything and make it take up less space.  And this stuff was meant to be fun for children to play with?!

December 14th 2011

I was so very distressed about my hair that I didn't even want to get up.

After I eventually forced myself to do so, David dropped us in West Ealing while he went to the bank.  The YMCA charity shop was full of fakie ponies - I wonder what real MLPs had been there earlier?  I came home with a dear little G3-style baby fakie.  She cost 50p which she really wasn't worth...the poor thing was even balder than me!

Next to Grottsville to collect my Pretty Pony Club Comics as well as my hat and scarf.  Mum heard a rat clattering around in the back room while we were there.  It really made me feel good about spending a lot of time over there, especially in the evenings considering there was next to no lighting in that house!

There was yet more discussion on the radio about the unemployment rate for young people on the way home.  I was stressed to death.  If well educated youngsters who had helpful parents and support in finding their path in life couldn't find work, what chance did I stand?

There was a new charity shop in Ealing Broadway so David pulled up on double yellow lines and let me run inside!  Lots of toys (no ponies though), but the staff made me feel really uncomfortable for leaving without buying anything.  Not a shop that I'd go back to in a hurry.

December 15th 2011

A trip to Brentford McDonalds for yet more fattening fries.  Oh, and since Mum took longer to eat hers than I did, I got a Dairy Milk McFlurry as well.  At this point, I'm SURE my parents were trying to make me fat!  I was still eating the McFlurry when Mum did finish her fries, but my parents were not prepared to wait for me to finish eating and drove off, giving me indigestion.

The traffic was horrendous.  The roads were full of crazy drivers, honking their horns and shouting at each other.  I think this was the worst Christmas I'd ever known for lunatic shoppers!

To be honest, I didn't want to go anywhere further than McDonalds.  My hair was driving me crazy and I was too distressed about it to even want to sit in the car now, let alone walk around.  It was so awfully greasy and stank of sweat.  Surely NOW I could see that it needed to be washed?  But no, I refused to do anything about it and instead used the nasty dry hair shampoo which was not making the slightest bit of difference to the filthy mess on my head!

I was having the most dreadful anxiety attacks - unable to breathe, knees knocking etc.  My hair had taken over my life.  I tried to sort through the Pretty Pony Club comics that we had brought home from Grottsville the previous day but I didn't even want to move my head enough to do that job!  What I discovered was that I was even sentimental over these and the few duplicates amongst them had been cut up for scrapbooking etc. back in the day.  I think I'd developed some kind of hoarding condition where I couldn't let anything go.  It was as if I had so little control over my life that I had allowed my possessions (the only things I could control!) to take over.

Neither of my parents gave a darn about me really.  David went to Grottsville as soon as he'd brought us back from McDonalds to dump the rubbish bag and start sorting through his rubbish over there.  Mum called him "heartless" for leaving me alone in the dark and, more importantly, for leaving HER with me, but he just told me to "put the radio on" if I wanted company!


Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

Friday, 20 February 2015

Getting into the Christmas spirit by deleting online comments?

Wow, it's only 8.30pm.  I'm ahead of schedule for once!  (If you ignore the fact that this is more than three years too late anyway, of course...)

December 6th 2011

David and I went to Grottsville to collect a Lotta Littles set that I had sold on eBay.  No sooner had we got home, than a woman won three plush Keypers...which were also in Grottsville!  Another problem with keeping your sales goods in a different house to the one in which you live.

Mum got an invoice from eBay charging her 10% on everything including the Chartbusters game and Beatles Pencil By Numbers set which went for over £40 (the price at which I believed final value fees were capped).  David was going to ring to enquire and argue on her behalf but the helpline went down when we attempted to find the phone number.

December 7th 2011

I got up early (for my standards anyway!) with the intention of getting a lot done.  Mum had already put the first lot of MLP bed linen in the washing machine for me so it was ready to hang up when I got downstairs.

David came in at lunch time and rang eBay for Mum to enquire about the fees.  I'd thought final value fees were capped at £4, but it was in fact £40.  (Very misleading wording on their website indicated they only charged fees on items priced up to £40, what they meant was that they charged up to £40 on an item that sold for £400 or more if that makes sense).  So Mum would have to pay all those fees out of her earnings as well.

We went to Grottsville that night to collect some more of my old rubbish - Keypers plushies, In My Pockets and Pound Puppies this time.  Then we had yet more fattening fries at McDonalds on the way home.

The drive home was very unpleasant.  Manchester United lost a football match so David drove like a madman in a foul temper.  I could hardly hold on to the stuff that I had picked up in Grottsville!  I will never understand why people get so wound up over a few men kicking a ball around a field.  I mean, is it really worth risking our lives because one man fails to get a ball into a net?

December 8th 2011

I was distressed and utterly miserable again.  I didn't leave the house again all day.  It was rubbish collection day in Grottsville the following morning but I didn't even get offered the drive to dump the black sack.  Instead, David went straight to the loft with his laptop after he came home from work.

Mum fell asleep at 7pm, leaving me totally alone in the darkened extension again.  No wonder I was depressed!  I had developed a bad tummy and had to keep running to the loo every day...but only after it got dark.  I think my IBS symptoms were returning.  Not surprising when I was always so stressed though really, is it?

I packed up my Pound Puppies collection and got all of my eBay parcels ready for shipping.  Little else happened all day.  I was just too wound up over my hair again.  I wanted to get on with my life now that I'd finally moved house but it was horrible to feel like I was getting balder by the day.

Emma was talking about getting a husky puppy.  How did she think she'd keep one of those in her mad house full of noisy children?

December 9th 2011

Mum woke me up at 9.30am, yelling at me how lazy I was to be able to sleep for so long.  She "didn't understand how I could sleep when she had been up since 4am". Well, maybe because she'd gone to sleep at 7pm, and I'd been in the bath until 2am?!  Maybe she could have woken me up earlier?  She'd put my MLP sleeping bag in the washing machine and it was "getting screwed up" by the time she did call me.

David was supposed to be coming home at lunchtime so I didn't think it was worth starting doing anything towards clearing up the house etc.  As it happened, he didn't come home until 3pm so I wasted the day for nothing.  We went to Ealing Broadway to post the eBay parcels but the fire alarm went off while we were queuing at the post office and we were all evacuated!

I got angry with another horrible bloke for leering at me.  A huge smarmy grin spread across his face when he realised I was annoyed.  What I would have done to wipe that grin off of his face with my fist.  Mum blamed ME though, of course, for not wearing a coat.  It shouldn't matter what I was wearing, no man has permission to stare at a woman in that way.

Everybody was getting into the "Christmas spirit"; yelling at each other, shoving each other out of the way, honking horns as they battled to get out of Ealing Broadway car park...  I had to tell David to stop staring at the "wild animals" screaming from their cars and having a particularly nasty argument about "needing to get to another f***ing Argos because this one's sold out" as he seemed to be completely mesmerised by their performance!

We headed for West Ealing Post Office after that where my parents joined in with the good cheer.  David started it, shouting at her for reasons I can't remember.  So she turned on him as they walked into the post office.  "Stop being such a b*****d!  Merry b****y Christmas, everyone!"  Oh well, at least the people in the queue had a little light entertainment!

That night we went to Hammersmith to drop off three plush toys that I had sold on eBay.  The lady was very nice and even gave us an extra £2 for our efforts.

I was saddened to see how Hammersmith had gone downhill since we were last there though.  We even witnessed two youths stealing a radio from a car in front of our eyes!  David drove down an unfamiliar side street on our way back, clearly looking for something.  It turned out that he had driven past his childhood home.  It would have been nice if he'd told us so that we could see it too!  My family are such a sociable lot.

December 10th 2011

The decorator finally decided to show up, giving us very little notice that he had any intention of doing so.  He didn't do much while he was here anyway, just argued with David that he hadn't been the one to screw the light switch on the wall where the wallpaper had been torn (an outright lie!) and broke Mum's special screwdriver.  The house stank of cigarettes every time he'd been anywhere near it and he left a dirty t-shirt hanging on our stair railings.  It would be nice to find one decorator who could do a good job and act professionally for once, wouldn't it?

David went to the recycling centre and Grottsville on his own.  Our only offer of an outing was Brentford McDonalds for yet more fries.  Agh!  How could I ever lose weight like this?

David found a "missed parcel" card addressed to my mum at Grottsville.  We could only imagine that it was one of the eBay parcels that had been returned for some reason (sometimes we put address labels with Grottsville's address on the back), but we would have to wait until we could get to the post office to find out for sure.

I sorted through my In My Pocket collection.  Gosh, the memories!  They were my favourite toys for several years when I was very young (3-6ish?)  That lovely plastic smell when I opened the boxes after so many years!  The little collars and leads I made still tied on the puppies, the pots that Mum's vitamins came in which I kept all the tiny accessories inside, as well as other little bits and pieces that I used to play with alongside the puppies.  It was all still there like some kind of time capsule!  I suppose we never think when we pack our toys away that this will be the last time we'll ever play with them and they'll be forgotten in a dark cupboard for fifteen years before they see the light of day again.  Kind of sad really.

Never mind, the puppies, kitties, ponies and other animals were finally smelling the fresh air in my bedroom once more...and spreading dust and allergens everywhere they went!

I found this funny little toy computer amongst my In My Pockets.  I'm not sure where it came from, but it made me think of all the trouble my friend and I had been having with the bronies, taking hours to "delete" all their offensive comments and hate mail from Youtube and Facebook etc.!


The toilet roll holder fell off of the wall in the bathroom.  I got the blame, of course, but any idiot could see that it hadn't been fitted properly.  I managed to put it back up but it still does fall down now and then.  I try to be very careful now.  Seriously, are all workmen useless?


Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

Dead Woodlice, Old Toys and General Clutter!

I will stay awake, I will stay awake, I WILL stay awake...

December 1st 2011

Another exciting trip to Grottsville was the highlight of my day.  This time I collected my MLP bed linen/towels/curtains etc. which had been stored in black sacks in my old cot for God knows how many years!  Surprisingly, there was no evidence of carpet beetles, but there were an awful lot of dead woodlice mixed up in the fabric. o_0  Mum didn't even come with us because she was too tired (it was 8.30pm).  In fact, she didn't even stay awake to make sure we got home safely, which was VERY unlike her.

Having said that, I had also taken another thirty minute nap after dinner.  Mum was convinced that I had cancer.  I must admit that I was starting to worry about why I was so tired all the time.

I think stress was the underlying cause though.  How can one settle when their future is uncertain?  No job, no education, no meaning to life.  I was too old to learn performing arts as I had always dreamed of doing, and how many people really succeed in that line of business anyway?  All I really knew that I wanted to do was go and live in Canada but I couldn't even really see a point to that goal anymore.  Hadn't I only wanted to go there to be a voice actress and live happily ever after with somebody I'd never met who'd now moved to America?  Without a scrap of talent or training in drama.  And he was way out of my league anyway.  Things like that only happen in fairytales, Desirée. :(

I was also getting increasingly agitated by the brony fandom again, due to their violent death threats and angry comments towards anything pre-G4 or anyone who liked it.  Live and let live.  We're all fans of a series of children's brightly coloured pony toys (or a TV show made to advertise them) - if we can't all be kind to each other, how can we expect other people to be kind to us?!

I spent most of my day sorting out my Littlest Pet Shop collection.  It proved to be a much harder job than I had expected, trying to find all the little pieces that went with each set.  My intention had been to sell them all, but I realised they held too many childhood memories for me and instead decided to keep the few I had picked up at car boot sales to sell!  I'm a hopeless case!


December 2nd 2011

I finished sorting out the Littlest Pet Shops.  A small miracle to do so that quickly with all those tiny pieces really!  Especially as Mum insisted on ranting at me the whole time that I was working.  I "never did anything" (she always started that rant when I WAS doing something to tidy up), she'd "made a mess of what she was writing because she couldn't get near the table" (Uh...but she never used the table except for eating dinner!), and I "should stop wasting the daylight looking at bronies on the internet" (I WASN'T looking at bronies - I was using a Littlest Pet Shop site to identify my collection before it was packed away!)

I also did several loads of laundry, washing all of the MLP fabrics that I had brought back from Grottsville the previous day.  I suppose she called that wasting the day as well, but they were so dusty that it had to be done, whether I was keeping or selling them.

David took the afternoon off work as Mum had an appointment at the bank in Ealing Broadway.  She had a horrible shock to find out that the £70,000 she had invested in 2006 had now dropped to less than £59,000...no wonder they no longer showed that account through internet banking!  Anyway, she got her new account set up which was good.  The woman started quizzing me about my education/job.  See, THIS is why I didn't like socialising.  How can you talk to people when you're so shut off from day to day life?

We went in Savers afterwards but I couldn't find my coconut body scrub, and we got more fattening french fries from McDonalds on our way back.  A brilliant trip all round really!

I discovered the Youtube account of Claire Corlett (the voice of Sweetie-Belle in Friendship is Magic) and enjoyed watching some of her videos.  I was a little concerned to see that the perverted bronies had even wormed their way in there though and were making, um, not very nice comments.  This was a 12 year old girl, for crying out loud!  Why are you writing sexually suggestive comments to her?  And why the hell wasn't anyone (her parents, her agent?) doing anything to stop it?  At least disable the comments, for God's sake!

Somebody listed a very special pair of Mountain Boy Ponies on eBay.  Ice Crystal and Thundercloud, both made in Thailand.  These were the first of their kind to be seen.  Now my Thai Tornado didn't feel so alone in the big wide world!

My hair was getting increasingly sickly; dry and thin, while my scalp was always greasy.  Once again, could this be caused by the fact I wasn't washing it but was using that awful dry hair shampoo spray by the bucket load?

I'd developed a dry cough as well, and didn't know where it had come from.  I hadn't had any other symptoms of a cold or cough.  Looking back, I bet it was the Grottsville allergies coming back to haunt me because I was trying to sort through some boxes of stuff from that house...

December 3rd 2011

David woke up in a terrible mood for no apparent reason and spent the day telling me how much he "hated me".  Nice.

Possibly he got out of bed the wrong way because he had to get up early for the decorator...who didn't turn up again, of course.  He sat at the dining table while he waited for the man to show up, preventing me from getting any breakfast...whilst snacking four or five times himself!

I went dizzy in the end (as I always do if I get too hungry), caved in and stood in the kitchen to eat a banana.  When I was finally allowed to get myself a bowl of cereal, David sent me (still spinning) to go and charge his mobile phone for him.  I snapped at him and he began screaming at me about how he "didn't see why he should pay to keep me and take me on holiday".  Nor do I.  Especially the latter.  Who the heck would WANT to go on holiday with that kind of company?  And did he think it was my choice that he was still paying to keep me at 20 years old?  Maybe if he'd done more to make sure I got proper schooling and work experience when I was younger, I wouldn't be unable to get a proper job now.

David had said that we were going out, but then went to the loo for hours as ever.  I began photographing and packing up some more of my Littlest Pet Shop collection to pass the time and get something useful done towards tidying up.  Suddenly David burst into the room like a white tornado, screaming that he had been sitting on the stairs waiting for us while I "typed on my computer and played with my camera".  The computer wasn't even switched on, and excuse me if I try to do something useful while believing that you're wasting time in the shower room upstairs!  Why didn't he come into the back room before then?

Anyway, he reluctantly took us to Brent Cross Toys R Us to get the free Lego toy for Allan.  I would have liked to buy some more Ponyville Mermaids (they were selling them off at 50% of the original retail price) but the queues were miles long so I decided against it.

Then to Lakeland to buy some storage boxes and insect repelling spray.  We were stuck in there for what seemed like hours and I got a coughing fit (I was still suffering from a dry, tickly throat).  Of course, I'd left my drink in the car and asked if I could go and get it...but David wouldn't let us go back to the car without him so I had to suffer.

Finally to an electrical shop in Acton, where we saw lots of nice light fittings.  David was more interested in a topless mermaid lamp stand, although he claimed he didn't like it...  Mum fell in love with a nice water fountain with a dog ornament "drinking" from it.  It was beautiful...but just a little out of our price range!

When we got back, David begrudgingly shipped Mum's Beatles Pencil By Numbers Set (I'd be surprised if the dealer DIDN'T complain after all this time!) and then went straight to Grottsville on his own for the rest of the afternoon/early evening.

December 4th 2011

I didn't leave the house.

David was still in a foul mood.  He refused to get up for a car boot sale...which turned out to be just as well because I looked up Hounslow Heath and saw that it had now ended for the year!

I finished photographing my LPS collection and packed them away in my bedroom cupboard, but that was about the extent of my "usefulness" for the day.

David replaced the light bulb in the kitchen with a brighter one...a blessing to me, stuck out in the dark extension trying to work all evening, but Mum is very light sensitive and couldn't sleep with it.  So she insisted on dimming it down...to an even dimmer setting than the original light.  Wonderful.

I think she was just being difficult really.  David certainly knew how to inflame her and make her act up.  He told her that she should just put her pictures on the walls as they are because the decorator was never coming back to do the wallpapering.  Well, that's a great thing to say to somebody who wants a nicely decorate house, huh?

He went to Grottsville and the storage depot for several hours again to sort through his unsavoury newspapers and adult calendars collection.  He returned at 7pm for a brief argument before announcing that he was going to work to "get away from us".

I was very worried about my education and desperately wanted to talk to someone.  Being so sheltered, I had absolutely no idea where to go for help so only had Mum to turn to.  That night probably wasn't the best night to ask for help when she was in such a bad mood but I needed to get it out of my system.  I didn't anyway.  She just yelled at me that "apparently I couldn't keep my problems to myself" and went to sleep, leaving me alone and crying for the rest of the evening again.

The two Thai Mountain Boy Ponies sold on eBay - Ice Crystal for £62, Thundercloud for £114.  I was quite disappointed to see such low prices actually.  I've seen regular Ice Crystal go for a lot more than that!

Somebody listed an old coin operated duck ride on eBay, which was like the one I remembered being in Brighton when I was a child.  They promised to send me some photographs for my website but never came through with them.

December 5th 2011

I wasn't awoken until 10am ("as soon as David went out").  Mum was in a bad temper that I hadn't cleared the house up, but how was I supposed to do so if I was never awake in the daylight?

She'd had David remove the bright light bulb from the kitchen.  Even though she'd insisted on dimming it anyway, she "didn't trust me not to turn it back up after she'd gone to sleep".

We went for a walk in Lammas Park (our first in several days) which wasn't very pleasant with her moaning at me about the untidy house all the way along the street.  A curious Irish man came up and asked us for directions. "I say, do you know where I might find Windermere Road?" he asked.  Mum immediately snapped out of her bad temper and happily told him which way to go.  (Good, because I wouldn't have had a clue!)  "That's SMASHING!  Thank you!" he answered.  Do people really still talk like that these days?!

When David came home, he decided to put Mum in an even worse mood by stressing her about money.  Apparently he wasn't insured if he died, only if he was made redundant...although she "could put in a claim for £5500 because they didn't pay him when he was out of work".  Great.  £5500 would hardly cover a funeral in this day and age!

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

Thursday, 19 February 2015

"Mum's Most Valuable Ebay Item Ever Gets Damaged" and other stories...

It's the middle of the night again.  Who needs sleep?  It's blogging time!

November 26th 2011

What a nightmare of a day!  I was awoken at 7am in preparation for the decorator (so that I could be washed, dressed and hidden in the back room before he arrived!), but he never turned up, of course.

David wasted most of the day in the bathroom as usual, finally coming downstairs at 1pm.  At this point, he agreed to help Mum pack up her very expensive Beatles Pencil By Numbers set.  She hadn't trusted me to wrap it carefully enough so had been waiting for David to grant her enough time to get it ready to ship.

I tried to hastily clear a space on the table where I had been working with my laptop but had to urgently use the bathroom and told them to wait until I got back.  Wait?  Ha, that's not a word in David's vocabulary.  He makes US wait for days, but when he's ready to do something, it's right NOW or never.  So he attempted to wrap the very valuable toy up using the top of the cupboard as a flat surface.

Before I even got back downstairs, I heard the familiar anguished cries and wails.  You've guessed it.  In his haste, reaching up above his head with rolls of bubblewrap, he had managed to tear the very fragile 1960s cardboard box.


Of course, *I* got the blame as I should have waited to use the bathroom when David announced he was ready to do the job now.  Well, maybe he should have done it sooner, waited two minutes while I was upstairs or even - shock-horror - maybe Mum should have allowed me to help her wrap it up two days previously!

Anyway, it was an utter disaster.  Considering the dealer had requested endless extra photographs of the item, there was no way we could get away with just not mentioning the damage so he had to be told.  And he demanded a 20% refund...which I think was totally unfair considering how much I now know these were selling for at the time!

Mum was understandably upset and began taking her anger out on me.  I relisted all of her eBay auctions for her, only to have her shout at me to "Take them down!  I'm through with eBay!"  She didn't seem to understand how long that would take me...or maybe she just didn't care.  At 8pm, I still hadn't got a single item of my own listed!  But I guess that didn't matter either...

My latest batch of MLP comics arrived.  Quite a few upgrades including a couple with their original free gifts.  At least comics were something I was able to collect without spending any money, because I could always make the money back on the extras I sold.


We went to Iron Bridge McDonalds that evening for yet more junk food.  The staff were feeling generous and gave us two large/one medium fries instead of one large/two medium, as well as a massive amount of ice cream.  Whoopy doo!  Now I could get even fatter!

November 27th 2011

I had a really weird dream about going to a car boot sale where I found some unusual MLP bubble bath bottles and some very rare and valuable prototype Bucky O'Hare figurines!  After I'd bought them, I had to get a taxi directly to Heathrow airport where I was to get on a flight to Oklahoma.  (What?  Without so much as a change of clothing?!)

I woke up with a start when I knocked all of the MLP plushies around the bed down on the floor...again.  I was starting to get sick and tired of being surrounded by so many pastel coloured plush toys!  I mean, is it any wonder that the mountain kept collapsing?


Oh well, I'd wanted to get up early anyway as we were supposed to be going to Hounslow Heath car boot sale again.  Don't ask me why my parents decide to go to car boots at the coldest, wettest, most miserable time of year, but they always do.

Mum was up bright and early and came to wake me (although she obviously found me already awake in a mountain of plush toys!), proudly telling me how she had found a family tree on Ancestry showing my friend's ancestors.  Kind of interesting, I guess.  The question is why she was looking for his family tree in the first place!

We headed for Hounslow Heath, despite the grey skies.  Of course, it started to rain before we even got there but Mum refused to go back to Woodberry to get her waterproof coat.  David then wanted her to stay in the car and she got upset.  She ended up walking around in no coat at all because she didn't want her non-waterproof coat to get damaged by the rain!

The boot sale was tiny anyway, and there was nothing there really.  We found a Pretty Parasol for Abigale, the very pony my niece had fallen in love with at Ponycon, but nothing else whatsoever.

We returned to Brent Cross, still desperately seeking something to spend our John Lewis vouchers on but there was nothing we wanted in that shop.  I noticed that Fenwicks' MLP stock was now entirely G4 so perhaps the G3s/G3.5s were finally starting to disappear from our shelves.

There was still no sign of the nice horse jumper in H&M so I decided to settle for a cat one instead.  I also got some retro G1 MLP hairclips.


I finally got in Boots alone for some of the "private" little essentials (like mascara and razor blades which my parents deemed unnecessary), as well as some more jewellery and Soap & Glory hand food to use as Christmas gifts.  The stupid shop assistant completely phased me at the counter and caused me to leave my Advantage card behind.  Thankfully, I noticed before we left the shopping centre and the customer behind me was an honest soul who had handed it in for safe keeping.

We drove across to Lakeland afterwards, but my parents had failed to measure up the cupboard to find out what size boxes they needed, so we just ended up getting a decorative doorstop and lemon curd with our vouchers there.  Very helpful, I'm sure.

Mum had written to the Beatles dealer and said that she would not accept less than £300...  She had not heard back from him yet.  I wasn't sure how much more of this my nerves could take...

November 28th 2011

Having spent another lonely evening in the dark extension with Mum asleep on the floor, she awoke just as I was going to bed and kept me up talking almost all night.  This wasn't working.  Nobody could live on so little sleep as I did!

I was awoken after only two hours to do the laundry.  Nope, I really couldn't do this any more.  I actually ended up napping away an hour of the afternoon!

My exciting outing of the day took me to Osterley Tesco where I got a packet of Smarties for my American friend Grace (who had been saying how she wanted to try them).  I lead a fascinating life!

Our pull-out kitchen cupboard appeared to have broken.  The door wouldn't close tightly and was actually chipping the fridge door next to it.  David claimed that it was the bread that was causing the problem but the bread was nowhere near the door.  It was to do with our cowboy builders again.  Obviously the carpenter hadn't fitted the door properly and the problem was just now coming to light.

I had a new health issue to be paranoid about as well.  The little finger on my left hand went numb every time I leant on that elbow.  Something seemed to be going wrong with my circulation...perhaps I just didn't move around enough.

The Beatles dealer only wanted to pay £290 for the painting by numbers set.  David wanted to argue for £295.  This caused an argument between him and Mum as she was scared of getting negative feedback.  Mind you, there seemed to be arguments every time my parents came into contact with each other anyway, so I guess it was nothing new!

November 29th 2011

Mum and I walked to West Ealing where I found this little plush Cheer Bear for 50p in one of the charity shops.


We also got four boxes of Weetaflakes in 99p Stores but those are hardly worthy of a mention!  We weren't able to find any stickers for Emma's kids again anyway.

Somebody started a "Respect Older MLP Generations" Page on Facebook which I thought was a nice gesture, especially for those of us who had been constantly harassed by bronies for liking anything that came before G4.  Of course, the usual couple of goody two shoes pony collectors (who seemed to have been unaffected by the hate mail and bad side of the brony fandom anyway) came in and defended the bronies...  Considering nothing on the page said anything against bronies as a whole, only those who openly put down previous generations and those who liked/worked on them, I don't know what their problem was.

The Beatles dealer (surprisingly) willingly agreed to a £20 refund - total £295 plus £6 shipping.  Shipping would cost a LOT more than that with insurance for that amount though!  I still wonder how much he sold the set for.  He was obviously desperate to get his grimy little hands on it, no matter what the condition or price.

November 30th 2011

We went to McDonalds for yet another Dairy Milk McFlurry.  I didn't even particularly like the Dairy Milk one but the Caramel limited edition McFlurry's run had ended and the new limited edition was After Eight which I really disliked.  I just wanted an excuse to leave the house really and my parents could only think of McDonalds.

I understand that I was depressed and that my parents were trying to be kind but, looking back, surely they could see how unhealthy and overweight I was getting.  Maybe not, because Mum was always telling me that I was too skinny and the only problem would be if I lost weight...until I actually believed her!

Mum was too tired to come anyway as it was "the middle of the night" (8.20pm).  It wasn't a very nice trip anyway.  The only exercise I got was walking from the car to the rubbish bin and even in those few steps, I almost trod on a dead pigeon lying in the gutter under a tree.  Horrid.

When we got back home, I had to help my parents to buy some shelves on eBay.  David had forgotten the details to his own eBay account so I had to buy them through mine.  I tried very hard to explain to them the buying process (since David had forgotten that too) but Mum got angry with me for "not wanting to help". I suppose she was upset that she couldn't understand.  David made a mistake when trying to look at his bank accounts too, which I politely pointed out to try and help him, and Mum jumped down my throat about that too.  "Of course you don't know anything!"  Um...I know I've lead a sheltered life, but why shouldn't I know something?  By the way, I was correct, so I'm glad that I did point out the error.

I photographed another batch of things to sell and washed the "I Love Ponies" figurines that I had got at Hounslow Heath the previous week.  All the while, Mum sat on the sofa and moaned at me for doing nothing towards clearing up.  Well, actually, I WAS doing something towards clearing up.  What was SHE doing?

We wrapped up the Beatles Pencil By Numbers set ready to ship.  Now if only she'd let me do that in the first place!  The dealer had never written back to her to confirm that he'd received his partial refund so she was terrified of him leaving a negative or somehow losing her money, despite the insurance.

I was depressed that it was December already and there were to be no Christmas decorations as usual.  Wherever had this year gone?

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Lost Rubber Ducks, Hand Cream Smelling Salts and Expensive Colouring Sets!

I'm failing dismally at writing two blogs a day, but at least I seem to be writing something each day at the moment!

November 21st 2011

Mum and I walked to Lammas Park via the South Ealing charity shops.  I was terribly unfit, gasping for breath and struggling to keep up with Mum.  How did I allow myself to get this way?

That night we went to Grottsville to collect some more eBay stuff as well as a few stray Kinder Surprise toys which I realised I'd left in the library.  I was upset to see that some of the Kinder toys had disappeared, obviously knocked off of the shelf and hoovered up along with the Teeny Weeny Families accessories.  David denied it though, of course, and got angry at the mere accusation.  The place hadn't been hoovered for months.  Yeah?  Well, we hadn't been living there for months and since he took me there so infrequently to collect my stuff, the toys had probably been lying on the floor when it was last hoovered.

He seemed to be in no hurry to clear the house, insisting that he would read every newspaper and magazine that he had hoarded over the years before considering throwing it out.  The lethargy and lack of progress was killing me.

I wonder if that was part of the cause of my hair loss, which was still very bad.  Mind you, my blog notes still talk about how quickly my hair got greasy after being sprayed.  Well, maybe that's because I was still too scared to wash it!  Everything was a struggle - even simple housework like laundry or changing the bed sheets - because I was so paranoid about losing more hair that I would hold my head dead still.  I was giving myself a stiff neck!

And still Mum continued to tell me that I should never consider wearing a wig, which terrified me even more at the prospect of going completely bald!

November 22nd 2011

We had another nice walk in Lammas Park, although there were so many slippery leaves on the paths that it was like a death trap.  Mum found a rubber duck sitting on top of a bin over there and picked him up for her duckie collection!

Emma was in another bad mood.  Mum was very disturbed by it all and was actually avoiding writing to her for once, hoping that she would calm down.  Why do my family always have to cause so much trouble amongst themselves?

I was suffering with bad depression again, focussing on my hair loss but also the more serious, underlying problem of having no purpose to my life.  I was so horribly lonely and felt so worthless without a basic education or job.  Now I was getting bad stomach pains as well.  It felt like indigestion but I bet it was stress-related.  My hair was feeling horrible...I really wanted to wash it but didn't have the nerve.  God knows why I thought I'd lose any less by allowing my scalp to get so greasy and caking it in dry hair shampoo powder though!

David had to go to Ealing Hospital for an ECG and then went straight back to Grottsville to start sorting through his rubbish again, using US as an excuse because WE were the ones who wanted him to "rush" to clear the house.  Considering we'd already been living at Woodberry for over nine months, I wouldn't exactly call it a "rush"!

Mum went to sleep early so I was left all on my own again, downloading kiddie ride videos to try and keep myself sane.  It's no wonder I was so strange and depressed really, is it?  I spent most of my life in a darkened room with nobody to talk to but myself!

Oh well, I received my trade parcel from my friend Kate anyway, so that put a smile on my face.  I can't remember for the life of me what I sent as my end of the trade, but I'm sure Kate was far too generous in return!


Mum's friend Jill also kindly sent us this little gift set of hand creams as a cheer up gift.  I remember they smelled delicious...I kept sniffing them that lonely evening to try and get myself through until bedtime!


November 23rd 2011

Mum spent the day clearing up in the kitchen and produced a large black sack full of rubbish.  The place didn't look much better for it though!  We took the rubbish bags to Grottsville in the evening, as it was rubbish collection day the next day over there.

It wasn't a pleasant outing.  I didn't even get out of the car and David played the most awful music all the way there as well as turning the heating up to an unbearable temperature.  I almost wished I hadn't accompanied him!

The grease in my hair had got too much even for me now.  So I sucked up the courage to wash it, using the awful shampoo that the doctor had prescribed for my "dandruff".  I don't know what damage that did to it, considering I didn't even have dandruff!  It was nasty shampoo and impossible to rinse out.  It made my hair feel even thinner than it already was!

Mum had a nice surprise when her childhood Beatles Pencil By Number Set (which she had originally listed for £10) sold on eBay for £315!


However, we soon realised that the buyer was an unpleasant American Beatles dealer who knew that he could sell the set on for even more money in the states.  And he even refused to pay extra insurance for the higher value so that would have to come out of Mum's pocket as well.

So Mum's joy was short lived and she was soon taking her anger out on me.  Her old photo scrapbooks would have to go into storage because I hadn't made enough progress and had now missed my chance because David always took his laptop to work with him now!  Well, she could have always tried scanning some of the pictures herself...

Emma was still in a very unpleasant mood too, which was not helping with Mum's temper.  Basically she was accusing Mum of never caring about her, telling her that she kept reflecting on her childhood and realising that Mum had never had any interest in seeing her reach her full potential or even having any interest in her goals or dreams.  Join the club, sister dearest.  Oh, but no, Mum had always taken more interest in me, you know?  Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to get to know more about me and my life before making such crazy statements. Instead, Emma wrote what can only be described as a form of poetry entitled "Who Cares?"  Well, that's what Mum described it as anyway.  It was basically a long waffling paragraph of accusations, with every line ending in the same two words!  Obviously somebody cared very much...

November 24th 2011

David took us to Grottsville at 1pm, so we didn't have much time to get anything done before it got dark.  We still managed to throw away three full black sacks full of rubbish though (including my beloved old bath toys which made me sad, but I knew it had to be done!)...so why did the place look no emptier?

We had a vegetarian cottage pie for dinner, which made a nice change because Mum wouldn't use the oven here at Woodberry.  She refused to eat off of her old plate over there though because it was too grimy, so chose to eat out of the plastic tray it came out of instead.  I think we were turning into a couple of old tramps due to our living conditions!

I tried to record some more toy commercials, but Hasbro didn't seem to start advertising until gone 6pm.  I still managed to catch a Princess Celestia advert before we came home though.

We went to Iron Bridge McDonalds in the evening for my last Caramel McFlurry (it was to be discontinued the following day).  However much junk food did I eat back then?  No wonder I was so awfully fat and unhealthy!

I noticed that people were already starting to put Christmas decorations up, not just in the shops in Ealing Broadway but in the windows of people's houses and apartments.  It made me sad to think that we wouldn't have any again this year.

My hair was driving me crazy.  I was having the most awful nightmare about waking up and finding the whole lot lying on my pillow when Mum really did wake me up that morning!  (Thankfully most of my hair was still on my head so that part of the dream was incorrect!)  I spent most of the morning crying because it was so thin and fine and the scalp was now visible even at the front of my head.  I'd made my neck so stiff from holding my head still all the time.  I didn't even want to leave the house any more because I was so convinced that everybody was staring at me.

November 25th 2011

David had a day off work, but wasted most of it in the bathroom as ever.  Then we headed to Watford at 2pm.  We decided to walk further along the high street outside the centre for once and discovered some charity shops which we hadn't previously known were there.  I found a Keypers book and a video for 30p each in the RSPCA charity shop.

I hoped to find a nice necklace for a friend for Christmas, but I realised that the stuff in New Look was cheap, light weight and downright tacky.  I eventually settled on a nice necklace and earrings set in BHS and got myself one of the same kind.  Mine broke the first time I ever wore it so I daresay hers did as well...but she was too polite to say if it did!

BHS had a buy one get one half price sale on everything in store (hence buying the second necklace for myself) but I still didn't dare to buy my beautiful nightie due to Mum's opinion that it was too "risque"!

I'd realised that the Rocky outside the market was coloured slightly differently to the Greenford and Hanwell ones so I took a picture of him.


I wonder how many colour variations of Rocky have actually been made over the years?

Mum went dizzy with hunger soon after that so we didn't get in half of the shops we had planned to go in.  The doctor rang to say that David's blood and urine test results were lost so he had to have more tests done which might have added to her dizzy spell.  I still didn't understand why he refused to change to the doctor in Ealing.  The Grottsville doctors were totally useless at everything!

Mum was tired out and fell asleep by 6.30pm, leaving me on my ownsome all evening again.  My life was becoming a sad and lonely joke.  Surely there had to be some way to get out of this daily misery?

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Endless Shopping, Broken Rocking Horses, and Foggy Car Boot Sales!

Somebody make this depression and insomnia stop, please.  I don't know how much more of this I can take.

November 16th 2011

I got up at 7.30am (early by my standards at the time!), but my parents sat at the dining table and argued about money and the cost of presents for Emma's kids until 9.30am, preventing me from getting any breakfast until then.  Then they moaned at ME that I had "made it get late"!

We went to Brent Cross Shopping Centre, but it turned into another unsuccessful trip.  There was nothing in John Lewis that we wanted to purchase with our vouchers, there were no cheap toys at ELC and Mum decided against buying a magazine that had a voucher inside for a free IKEA blanket.  H&M no longer had the nice horse jumpers that I had seen in there before either.

I did get two bubble bars for myself in Lush.  The shop assistant made me cringe by insisting on washing my hand in their new shower jelly.  Lovely stuff, but too expensive for every day!  Having said that, Mum and I were sneezing for the rest of the evening due to the two bubble bars sitting on the table!

While we were at Brent Cross, both David's and my mobile phones rang at the exact same moment with incorrect numbers.  Slightly creepy, especially as nobody but my parents even had my number at that point!

Mum wanted to post a photo of her mum on Facebook but discovered that the scan of the photo was of very bad quality.  Apparently David hadn't even done a good job of the few family photos he had got around to scanning.  He reluctantly re-scanned it for her, but she was upset to think how many other photos she might not have backed up in digital format.

She tried to speak to him about holiday plans but he ignored her and eventually slammed the front room door in her face ("No, he slammed it on her backside", he corrected her, as she was facing away at the time!) because he wanted to listen to Sherlock Holmes on the I-Player and she was disturbing him.

November 17th 2011

I didn't wake up until Mum came downstairs from the shower room and walked past my bedroom door.  Why was I always so tired?  A trip to Brent Cross was hardly an energetic activity!

Anyway, Mum was cross with me for getting up so late because David had gone to Grottsville to have a blood test and had agreed to drop us in West Ealing on his way.  Well, I'd never been told of the plan so how was I ever supposed to be ready in time?  The truth was that Mum didn't really want to go herself because it was too cold outside, so she thought that she would use my oversleeping as an excuse!

I photographed part of my Kinder Surprise collection, but Mum was using the computer at the table for most of the daylight hours so I didn't get the job finished.

We went to Grottsville that night.  It was really awful over there with the drunken yobs huddled together by the Lebanese Valley, watching us loading the car up and leaving our unattended property.  We brought back a few bits that I'd managed to sell on eBay but not my Littlest Pet Shop collection because I knew I wouldn't have time to sort through them the following day and they would be covered in dust and carpet beetles that needed to be cleaned up immediately before my allergies took hold again.

It was already 10pm by the time we left, but we still decided to go for fries at Brentford McDonalds.  It took ages to get through Ealing Broadway due to an unusual amount of buses all over the roads (David referred to it as a "Bus Convention"!)  We had far too many fries to digest at that time of night.

When we got back, David opened a bottle of Coke in the kitchen.  It had been lying on its side in the back of the car and exploded when he opened it...spraying Mum's decorative (cardboard) butterfly storage boxes.  She was not best pleased.

November 18th 2011

The decorator had texted late the previous night to say that he wasn't coming now.  So we had to make new plans on the spur of the moment (something that my family don't do very well!)

We wasted the morning arguing about where to go and eventually settled on West Ealing for a tour of the charity shops and cheap shops.  Nothing to be found in the charity shops but Mum got some sticker books for Emma's kids in one of the £1 shops and I found a couple of nightdresses in BHS.  When I went to pay for them however, the sales assistant harassed me so much (trying to sell their special promotions of the day) that I ended up dropping £120 out of my purse onto the floor!  Luckily I noticed...maybe their game is to make people drop their money so that the cleaners can come along and sweep up the profits?!  It would be nice to have that much spending money these days!

Next we headed to Hanwell where I had been wanting to film another coin operated ride; the white version of RG Mitchell's Rocky.  I'd hoped it still operated on 20p (which was why I hadn't filmed the 50p one in Greenford) but was disappointed to see that this one had also been converted to the higher price.  Still, in the name of documenting kiddie rides, I slipped a coin in the slot...to no avail.  The horse didn't work.  Cue embarrassing discussion with the shop owner, explaining why I was filming a kiddie ride with no rider!  He said that the ride wasn't even his (he is paid a monthly rental for the space outside his shop by an independent ride operator), but shovelled three of his own 50p coins into the slot until he could get the ride to work, which I thought was very kind of him.


Funnily enough, this is the very shop where my favourite Rocky (lovingly nicknamed "Blue Eye") resided when I was a child.  Definitely not the same model though.  This white one is a much more recent version.

Lastly, we set off for Watford.  It was late by this time though and I didn't get in half the shops I wanted to go in.  I managed to get another nightie in BHS.  I really wanted a lovely satin rose-printed one, but Mum put me off by saying that it was too "risqué".  I'm not quite sure why my choice of nightclothes should bother anyone else, considering I'm the only one who ever sees them anyway!  When he went to the checkout, David was tricked into buying a £25 voucher to get £5 off.  The trick being that you had to spend over £20 to get the deal anyway...and my nightie didn't cost that much!

The promotional people were out in force, asking if we wanted a "free make up goodie bag".  David asked me why I ignored the woman's generous offer.  Gosh, is he really that gullible?!

I got four cute G3-style MLP fakies in Poundland - two to keep, two to sell - and a G3.5 Cheerilee Mermaid and G4 Lily Blossom in The Entertainer.  I also found some MLP wall stickers which were just perfect for the wall around my pony shelves.  My bedroom looked more like a little girl's room with every passing day!


I noticed that the MLP ride outside Watford Market had gone and been replaced with...you guessed it...a white Rocky horse (like the one in Hanwell shown above!)  I might as well have filmed that one if only I'd known!

David rushed us back home because he had a TV repair man coming to look at the television in Grottsville at 4pm.  We had no idea what was wrong with the TV or indeed why he was so desperate to get it fixed.  Certainly we were expected to live without a television at Woodberry!

Emma was in another foul mood, having read something I'd written to one of my Facebook friends about Ponycon, apologising for the fact that I hadn't had a chance to talk to them due to spending most of the day running after my niece.  Emma had twisted my words and told Abigale that she wasn't wanted at Ponycon and that I didn't like her.  WTH?  So the poor 7-year-old was crying her eyes out because she thought that she and I were such good friends.  And of course there was no way for me to set the record straight because I saw so little of Abigale.  What sort of person would be so spiteful to her own little daughter just to get at me?  Oh, but of course Emma wouldn't have told Abigale what she'd seen.  But ALLAN had read it on my Facebook page and decided to be spiteful to get at Abigale when she was annoying him.  Funny, because Allan couldn't even read at that point.  My family are crazed.

November 19th 2011

A boring day spent indoors while David continued painting the cupboard for his office.  Our only chance at an outing was to go and get yet more McDonalds fries at 5pm, which meant battling through what seemed like millions of Brentford football supporters!  We continued on to Grottsville afterwards to collect my Littlest Pet Shop collection.

I was half asleep on the way there (there was definitely something wrong with me...) when I was suddenly aware of a big commotion.  At first, I thought that David was having a heart attack but it transpired that he had a pain in his groin and thought that his "underpants were twisted"?!  He almost crashed the car in his hurry to find a place to pull over and park, then he stood in the middle of the road with both hands down his trousers, um, easing the problem.  It's a wonder the police didn't arrest him there and then for indecent behaviour!

Emma had calmed down now, because she couldn't find the "Anti-Abigale" post that I had written to show to Mum (more likely she found it, realised that it wasn't anti-Abigale at all, and was embarrassed to admit it)  But the damage was done and it would be ages before I had the opportunity to see Abigale again.

November 20th 2011

It was ridiculously cold and foggy but Mum forced us to go to Hounslow Heath car boot sale because we needed to find some ponies for my nieces' Christmas gifts.  Why couldn't she have gone on the much nicer weekend before then?  I mean, what kind of idiot would turn out in this?


Answer: The kind of idiot who is so horribly self conscious about her thinning hair that she even refused to wear her coat for a while!  Eventually I had to give in and put it on, tucking my hair inside it...which actually made it look worse, I think!

Well, surprisingly, as you can see in the photos above, we weren't the only idiots there, although there were obviously far fewer stalls than there would normally be at that sale.  Maybe the weather kept some of the usual buyers away though because I actually did quite well for once.


Sweetberry and Peach Surprise were variations for my own herd and I couldn't bear to leave Jazz Matazz behind.  Rainbow Dash, Butterscotch and Valenshy were the ponies who went to my nieces that Christmas.  We got all of those from the same dealer for a fiver.  Baby Starbow, Peach Blossom and all of the I Love Ponies figurines came from another seller for £2.00.  The Wuzzles plush cost £1 and the MLP egg cup and Keypers Tango were 50p each.  All of those items have since been sold at a profit, so not too bad.

The woman who was selling Tango made me feel really guilty as she clearly didn't want to sell him (But then, if she didn't want to sell him, why had she taken him to the boot sale?  She was hardly going to get rich on 50p!)  A very creepy gap-toothed man - of the kind you might see in a dark antiques shop in a movie - was selling the egg cup and tried to convince me to buy his entire egg cup collection (he had BOXES of them in his van if I wanted to go and look...um, yeah...)

After such a promising start to the day, David wasted the rest of it in the bathroom, listening to Sherlock Holmes and lovingly painting the handles on his cupboard.  Seriously?  How many days can it take to paint a single item of furniture?!

Mum and I thought we heard a mouse in the extension.  Unsurprising, as we had definitely seen an increase of them climbing amongst the brambles in the back garden, and the weather was so cold that they probably did want shelter.  Not a pleasant thought though, especially as I'd thought I'd heard something rustling behind the headboard of my bed that morning...

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

Monday, 16 February 2015

Kiss Today Goodbye, The Sweetness And The Sorrow...

"Wish me luck, the same to you...  But I can't regret what I did for love...  What I did for love..."

I learnt today that I'm supposed to be singing this in a showcase next month, and my eyes were anything BUT dry, as I'm sure those in the class around me will testify!  I guess the biggest regrets in life are what you didn't do for love.  The "maybes" and the "what ifs".  You can't regret trying your best, but it's hard to forget when you let something or someone so important to you slip through your fingers without even trying to see if things might work out.

The day after another lonely Valentine's Day, hearing a song that once meant so much and has such poignant lyrics was like a dagger to the heart.  I have no idea how I'll get through singing it in front of an audience without sobbing out loud!

November 11th 2011

I didn't leave the house all day.  Instead, I stressed about my hair loss again.  I think this proves that my distress worsened when I had nothing else to think about.

Mum had now decided that she was a qualified doctor and diagnosed me as having PCOS.  Well, her friend's daughter had that and one of the symptoms is hair loss.  She decided to use this as another entrance into her lecture on not sticking with one man for life.  "It would be nice to have the option to have kids as you'll change your mind when you're thirty," she said.  I found this to be a bit strange coming from somebody who has always been so anti-kids and "wasting your life on children"! Anyway, I pointed out that I wouldn't need to change my mind because I'd always wanted children, unlike her.  However, I couldn't possibly imagine having children with anyone other than the man I had fallen in love with, and he had told me that there was a chance that he couldn't have children.  Anyway, I feared he would find someone else before my braces were removed and I was free to go to Canada to be with him.  Mum looked horrified when I said I wanted to have children (apparently this came as a total surprise to her?) but all she said was that it would be "sad to give up my life because of one person".  Oh, here we go again.  Considering she'd previously complained about said man "selfishly wanting children and being happy to waste my life on raising them", I don't know what her problem was!  I guess she just really hated the man, whatever he did.  I calmly reiterated that it would not be "giving up on life" to not have children with somebody I didn't care for (i.e. anybody other than the man I had given my heart to), nor would it be fair to bring other people into the world if I was not entirely dedicated to remaining with their father at the time of their birth.  "I can understand you, but that doesn't mean I have to agree," she sighed.  For God's sake, what was the sudden obsession with me having kids, no matter if I was with the man I loved or not?!  She's always HATED kids!

I spent much of the afternoon photographing Mum's "valuables" (most of which only had sentimental value anyway!).  She wanted a photographic record in case the house burnt down or she was burgled etc.  I also photographed the rest of the My Beautiful Horses collection as I continued to try and cram them all into one crate.

We wrapped Allan's presents and I scanned the picture I'd drawn in Allan's card, discovering more unsavoury photographs on David's computer in the process.  We complained about it to him and he punished us by not talking to us.  Well, I don't think it's very nice when your own father is saving pictures of women wearing gags and even nasty childbirth pictures.  There's something seriously twisted in his brain.

Oh well, at least he'd already taken Mum's Chartbusters game to the local tube station where the buyer came to collect it.  He refused to accept change of £52 and seemed very happy to take a trip down memory lane and have his old game back.  Nice to have a happy customer for once!

November 12th 2011

Mum had fallen asleep by 8pm the previous night and I had slowly gone mad sitting in the dark all on my own.  My hair had started to bother me increasingly as time went on so I ended up spraying it with dry hair shampoo which I had vowed never to do again.  Then I spent the rest of the evening writing emails and desperately trying to keep calm.

I hadn't managed to get the last of my eBay parcels packed up though so had to do it in the morning instead.  This gave David a chance to go to sleep on the extension floor and snore loudly, before getting up and going to the loo until noon.  Then he announced he was going to work at 2.30pm so any jobs or going out that we wanted to do would have to be out of the way before then!

We went to Grottsville first.  David posted the parcels at the post office across the road while we tried to do a tiny bit of clearing up.  There was no time to get anything done really anyway.  It was the first time in a while that I had been to Grottsville in the daylight and I happened to go in the back room and notice the back garden.  That is, what USED to be our back garden... o_0


Uh...hello?  Garden path?  Patio?  Pond?  GARAGE?  Are you even still out there?!

Seriously, this is how David neglects any property in which he lives.  No wonder the cracks in the back room's walls were getting bigger.  The roots of all this wilderness were tunneling underneath our old house and basically uprooting the old extension!  It might explain how the rats were getting inside as well with all those cracks and gaps underneath the flooring.  But of course, David never had time to sort out his own housing because he was always at work doing unpaid overtime to help them out!

We went to Harrow after that in search of a nightie and the Christmas gifts we were looking for in ELC.  No luck.  "I don't know what's in the other shopping centre..." David pondered, before realising the time, turning round and dashing back to the car.  I guess we'll never know what was in the other centre.  Once again, work came before us.

I had another spell of dizziness and feeling as though I might pass out in the car.  I figured stress was the most likely cause but it was happening all too often now.

Emma was in a foul mood with my mum for reasons best known to herself.  She'd had yet another warning that, if she couldn't pay her bills, her house was going to be repossessed.  Mum made the mistake of commenting on my hair, probably asking if Emma had heard from that hairdressing friend again, and Emma went crazy, saying that Mum cared more about my hair than she did about Emma potentially being split away from her children... That's my family for you!

I watched another episode of Friendship is Magic but it just wasn't my cup of tea.  People had said that Tabitha St. Germain was the voice of Zecora but that clearly wasn't the case, the Cutie Mark Crusaders got on my nerves and the jokes weren't even funny.  I thought it was a very average cartoon at best, and extremely dull at worst.  Still the brony fandom were uploading video broadcasts to Youtube in which they told Lauren Faust why they loved her so much.  Maybe I was missing something, or maybe I was just such a miserable old so-and-so that nothing made me laugh any more.

November 13th 2011

Mum allowed me to oversleep again.  Her excuse today was that "David wasn't up yet" - not sure what that had to do with me but still!  Anyway, I didn't have time to eat breakfast before we headed to Sunbury to see my nieces and nephew marching in the annual Remembrance Day Parade.

It was lovely to see them, although the common, dull voice of the announcer drove me mad during the wreath laying. I was freezing cold, insisting on wearing a summer dress, thinking that it covered how fat I had become!  I also refused to wear a coat over the top as I was convinced the added layer made my hair spread out and look thinner where it hung down my back!  It's a wonder that I didn't catch pneumonia!

I had to push Matthew's pushchair back to base after the ceremony, which warmed me up a little.  The kids dug down Mum's bag and took every biscuit from her emergency supply (I notice she didn't offer me one even though I was going dizzy from lack of food!)  They also complained that the activity books that Mum had brought for them weren't all the same - some didn't have the same number of stickers in them as the others!  My goodness, my mum would have killed me if I'd said something like that to my grandma when I was their age!

Kiera somehow managed to lose her poppy in a bush on the walk back.  Abigale gave me her poppy, mainly to avoid giving it to Kiera, I think!

David brought us straight back home afterwards, went in the bathroom for two hours (supposedly falling asleep on the loo...), and then went to work for the rest of the day.

I helped Mum to list five items on eBay, then it got dark and she said that she couldn't do any more.  She fell asleep early in the evening and I got very lonely and depressed again.

I uploaded some videos of my Sing 'n Dance Pinkie Pies on Youtube to help pass the time.  (I wasn't feeling up to doing anything constructive).  I'm sure anybody who wants to watch them already has done but here's a link to one of the videos just in case.  Click to watch on Youtube and then look at the related videos for the rest.


I'd developed a bad toothache in my top right front tooth which I feared was a cavity.  I was trying my very hardest to keep the teeth clean but finding it impossible with metal brackets glued onto them.  What was the point of having straight teeth if they were going to be full of holes by the time the braces came off?

November 14th 2011

What would have been my grandma's 85th birthday.  I always think of my grandparents on their anniversaries.

David's tender went in, so maybe he would finally stop spending so much time at the office for no pay.  Not that it would mean that we went out any more often though.  When he came in at 1pm, Mum immediately got depressed and lie down on the floor to try and sleep!  She didn't want to go to Watford as planned so David went upstairs.

Then she started ranting at ME for photographing my My Beautiful Horses in the front room as this was apparently the reason that she never left the house.  Why did I always start everything so late in the day?  Uh...how about because she didn't wake me up until 10am again?  I started the job as soon as I'd finished my breakfast.  There was no reason that I couldn't have stopped the job halfway through to go out anyway!

We ended up in boring old Grottsville again at 3pm so that David could finally post my friend Kate's trade parcel.  She'd sent my parcel several days previously so I was pleased to get hers in the post at last!

Grottsville was becoming an increasingly unpleasant area.  I didn't even want to spend short periods of time there any more.  I wished David would just let me remove the rest of my stuff from the house and leave.  "Scar Face" (the creep who used to follow me home whenever I left the house in that area) was standing on the opposite side of the road leering through the front window at me,  Another man, dressed in a Russian hat, who appeared to be an associate of Scar Face, also started staring and, having caught my eye, began making suggestive motions at me.

We stopped at McDonalds for fries on the way home.  David didn't offer us any ice cream...just as well really considering how much weight I was putting on!

He didn't go shopping either so there was no food in the house.  He kept opening the cupboard and fridge doors and just looking at the empty shelves before retreating upstairs...  Strange man.

We saw a wood mouse in the garden, scurrying off with Peter's last acorn.  A maggot had bounced out of this particular acorn when I threw it out in the garden so I didn't blame Peter for not taking it!  We were not too pleased to see a mouse so near our back door though!  It casually took the acorn down a hole out there, presumably the entrance to its home.

For those who were wondering, I did manage to pack all of my My Beautiful Horses into one crate, but couldn't fit their showjumping fences in with them.  Time to think again!  Maybe I didn't need to keep all the original accessories, even if I wanted to keep the horses for sentimental reasons?

We had rushed back from Grottsville as a man was supposed to be coming at 5pm to look at the wallpapering and other remaining DIY jobs that needed to be done...but guess what?  He didn't turn up again.  These workmen are useless!

This curious coin operated horse was listed on eBay.


It looked like a horse named "Prince" that I remembered riding on as a child, however I had always believed Prince to be a relatively modern ride and this horse was on what appeared to be an OLD Whittaker Bros.' base.  To be honest, I'd never even seen a base like this one before.  As far as I knew, Whittaker Bros. never made such a large ride.  But the coin chute was certainly a Whittaker one and it appeared to be original to the base.  The base also had a 1960s feel to it somehow.  Actually, now that I had seen "Prince" on a Whittaker-style base and associated him with the company, I realised that he was kind of like a larger version of their "Trigger" ride.  Maybe they were designed by the same person?!


(Spoiler: Yes, they were designed by the same person.  I have since found out that the large horse was Whittaker Bros.' first ever ride, and both horses were designed by Les Quaintance.  Glass Fibre Products' "Prince" was made in the 1980s using the earlier Whittaker mould)

November 15th 2011

I didn't leave the house again.  I'd sprayed my hair with dry hair shampoo the previous night again but there was no chance.  David was ill so he trekked to Grottsville on his own to see a doctor at 10am.  I don't know where else he went but he didn't come back until 2.30pm.  Wow, that must have been some doctor's appointment!

I started trying to sort through my Kinder Surprise collection but struggled to work out which piece went with which toy.  Well, is it really surprising?


As I continued to try and cram fences into the My Beautiful Horses crate, I discovered that one of the horses was missing a horseshoe.  I remember being so careful with those shoes as a child (they are TINY) so I was devastated to have lost it now.  I can only think it somehow dropped off of the horse when I carried it from the kitchen (where I washed them) to the front room (where I photographed them) but a thorough search turned up nothing.

The bloke took it upon himself to turn up today to look at the wallpapering job.  (Lucky that somebody was home really!)  He agreed to take on the job and said that he would send somebody on Friday morning.  Oh well, we'd better make sure we were ready for him on saturday afternoon then!

Best wishes,
Desirée xxx