Friday, 20 February 2015

Dead Woodlice, Old Toys and General Clutter!

I will stay awake, I will stay awake, I WILL stay awake...

December 1st 2011

Another exciting trip to Grottsville was the highlight of my day.  This time I collected my MLP bed linen/towels/curtains etc. which had been stored in black sacks in my old cot for God knows how many years!  Surprisingly, there was no evidence of carpet beetles, but there were an awful lot of dead woodlice mixed up in the fabric. o_0  Mum didn't even come with us because she was too tired (it was 8.30pm).  In fact, she didn't even stay awake to make sure we got home safely, which was VERY unlike her.

Having said that, I had also taken another thirty minute nap after dinner.  Mum was convinced that I had cancer.  I must admit that I was starting to worry about why I was so tired all the time.

I think stress was the underlying cause though.  How can one settle when their future is uncertain?  No job, no education, no meaning to life.  I was too old to learn performing arts as I had always dreamed of doing, and how many people really succeed in that line of business anyway?  All I really knew that I wanted to do was go and live in Canada but I couldn't even really see a point to that goal anymore.  Hadn't I only wanted to go there to be a voice actress and live happily ever after with somebody I'd never met who'd now moved to America?  Without a scrap of talent or training in drama.  And he was way out of my league anyway.  Things like that only happen in fairytales, Desirée. :(

I was also getting increasingly agitated by the brony fandom again, due to their violent death threats and angry comments towards anything pre-G4 or anyone who liked it.  Live and let live.  We're all fans of a series of children's brightly coloured pony toys (or a TV show made to advertise them) - if we can't all be kind to each other, how can we expect other people to be kind to us?!

I spent most of my day sorting out my Littlest Pet Shop collection.  It proved to be a much harder job than I had expected, trying to find all the little pieces that went with each set.  My intention had been to sell them all, but I realised they held too many childhood memories for me and instead decided to keep the few I had picked up at car boot sales to sell!  I'm a hopeless case!

December 2nd 2011

I finished sorting out the Littlest Pet Shops.  A small miracle to do so that quickly with all those tiny pieces really!  Especially as Mum insisted on ranting at me the whole time that I was working.  I "never did anything" (she always started that rant when I WAS doing something to tidy up), she'd "made a mess of what she was writing because she couldn't get near the table" (Uh...but she never used the table except for eating dinner!), and I "should stop wasting the daylight looking at bronies on the internet" (I WASN'T looking at bronies - I was using a Littlest Pet Shop site to identify my collection before it was packed away!)

I also did several loads of laundry, washing all of the MLP fabrics that I had brought back from Grottsville the previous day.  I suppose she called that wasting the day as well, but they were so dusty that it had to be done, whether I was keeping or selling them.

David took the afternoon off work as Mum had an appointment at the bank in Ealing Broadway.  She had a horrible shock to find out that the £70,000 she had invested in 2006 had now dropped to less than £59, wonder they no longer showed that account through internet banking!  Anyway, she got her new account set up which was good.  The woman started quizzing me about my education/job.  See, THIS is why I didn't like socialising.  How can you talk to people when you're so shut off from day to day life?

We went in Savers afterwards but I couldn't find my coconut body scrub, and we got more fattening french fries from McDonalds on our way back.  A brilliant trip all round really!

I discovered the Youtube account of Claire Corlett (the voice of Sweetie-Belle in Friendship is Magic) and enjoyed watching some of her videos.  I was a little concerned to see that the perverted bronies had even wormed their way in there though and were making, um, not very nice comments.  This was a 12 year old girl, for crying out loud!  Why are you writing sexually suggestive comments to her?  And why the hell wasn't anyone (her parents, her agent?) doing anything to stop it?  At least disable the comments, for God's sake!

Somebody listed a very special pair of Mountain Boy Ponies on eBay.  Ice Crystal and Thundercloud, both made in Thailand.  These were the first of their kind to be seen.  Now my Thai Tornado didn't feel so alone in the big wide world!

My hair was getting increasingly sickly; dry and thin, while my scalp was always greasy.  Once again, could this be caused by the fact I wasn't washing it but was using that awful dry hair shampoo spray by the bucket load?

I'd developed a dry cough as well, and didn't know where it had come from.  I hadn't had any other symptoms of a cold or cough.  Looking back, I bet it was the Grottsville allergies coming back to haunt me because I was trying to sort through some boxes of stuff from that house...

December 3rd 2011

David woke up in a terrible mood for no apparent reason and spent the day telling me how much he "hated me".  Nice.

Possibly he got out of bed the wrong way because he had to get up early for the decorator...who didn't turn up again, of course.  He sat at the dining table while he waited for the man to show up, preventing me from getting any breakfast...whilst snacking four or five times himself!

I went dizzy in the end (as I always do if I get too hungry), caved in and stood in the kitchen to eat a banana.  When I was finally allowed to get myself a bowl of cereal, David sent me (still spinning) to go and charge his mobile phone for him.  I snapped at him and he began screaming at me about how he "didn't see why he should pay to keep me and take me on holiday".  Nor do I.  Especially the latter.  Who the heck would WANT to go on holiday with that kind of company?  And did he think it was my choice that he was still paying to keep me at 20 years old?  Maybe if he'd done more to make sure I got proper schooling and work experience when I was younger, I wouldn't be unable to get a proper job now.

David had said that we were going out, but then went to the loo for hours as ever.  I began photographing and packing up some more of my Littlest Pet Shop collection to pass the time and get something useful done towards tidying up.  Suddenly David burst into the room like a white tornado, screaming that he had been sitting on the stairs waiting for us while I "typed on my computer and played with my camera".  The computer wasn't even switched on, and excuse me if I try to do something useful while believing that you're wasting time in the shower room upstairs!  Why didn't he come into the back room before then?

Anyway, he reluctantly took us to Brent Cross Toys R Us to get the free Lego toy for Allan.  I would have liked to buy some more Ponyville Mermaids (they were selling them off at 50% of the original retail price) but the queues were miles long so I decided against it.

Then to Lakeland to buy some storage boxes and insect repelling spray.  We were stuck in there for what seemed like hours and I got a coughing fit (I was still suffering from a dry, tickly throat).  Of course, I'd left my drink in the car and asked if I could go and get it...but David wouldn't let us go back to the car without him so I had to suffer.

Finally to an electrical shop in Acton, where we saw lots of nice light fittings.  David was more interested in a topless mermaid lamp stand, although he claimed he didn't like it...  Mum fell in love with a nice water fountain with a dog ornament "drinking" from it.  It was beautiful...but just a little out of our price range!

When we got back, David begrudgingly shipped Mum's Beatles Pencil By Numbers Set (I'd be surprised if the dealer DIDN'T complain after all this time!) and then went straight to Grottsville on his own for the rest of the afternoon/early evening.

December 4th 2011

I didn't leave the house.

David was still in a foul mood.  He refused to get up for a car boot sale...which turned out to be just as well because I looked up Hounslow Heath and saw that it had now ended for the year!

I finished photographing my LPS collection and packed them away in my bedroom cupboard, but that was about the extent of my "usefulness" for the day.

David replaced the light bulb in the kitchen with a brighter one...a blessing to me, stuck out in the dark extension trying to work all evening, but Mum is very light sensitive and couldn't sleep with it.  So she insisted on dimming it an even dimmer setting than the original light.  Wonderful.

I think she was just being difficult really.  David certainly knew how to inflame her and make her act up.  He told her that she should just put her pictures on the walls as they are because the decorator was never coming back to do the wallpapering.  Well, that's a great thing to say to somebody who wants a nicely decorate house, huh?

He went to Grottsville and the storage depot for several hours again to sort through his unsavoury newspapers and adult calendars collection.  He returned at 7pm for a brief argument before announcing that he was going to work to "get away from us".

I was very worried about my education and desperately wanted to talk to someone.  Being so sheltered, I had absolutely no idea where to go for help so only had Mum to turn to.  That night probably wasn't the best night to ask for help when she was in such a bad mood but I needed to get it out of my system.  I didn't anyway.  She just yelled at me that "apparently I couldn't keep my problems to myself" and went to sleep, leaving me alone and crying for the rest of the evening again.

The two Thai Mountain Boy Ponies sold on eBay - Ice Crystal for £62, Thundercloud for £114.  I was quite disappointed to see such low prices actually.  I've seen regular Ice Crystal go for a lot more than that!

Somebody listed an old coin operated duck ride on eBay, which was like the one I remembered being in Brighton when I was a child.  They promised to send me some photographs for my website but never came through with them.

December 5th 2011

I wasn't awoken until 10am ("as soon as David went out").  Mum was in a bad temper that I hadn't cleared the house up, but how was I supposed to do so if I was never awake in the daylight?

She'd had David remove the bright light bulb from the kitchen.  Even though she'd insisted on dimming it anyway, she "didn't trust me not to turn it back up after she'd gone to sleep".

We went for a walk in Lammas Park (our first in several days) which wasn't very pleasant with her moaning at me about the untidy house all the way along the street.  A curious Irish man came up and asked us for directions. "I say, do you know where I might find Windermere Road?" he asked.  Mum immediately snapped out of her bad temper and happily told him which way to go.  (Good, because I wouldn't have had a clue!)  "That's SMASHING!  Thank you!" he answered.  Do people really still talk like that these days?!

When David came home, he decided to put Mum in an even worse mood by stressing her about money.  Apparently he wasn't insured if he died, only if he was made redundant...although she "could put in a claim for £5500 because they didn't pay him when he was out of work".  Great.  £5500 would hardly cover a funeral in this day and age!

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

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