Friday, 17 April 2015

Parakeets, Ice Rinks and Sludge!

February 1st 2012

Mum and I had another nice walk in Lammas Park and I photographed and filmed the ring necked parakeets.


I started work on making some little boxes with pressed flowers on the lids in which to store locks of my grandparents' hair.  About time, considering they'd been gone for eight and nine years respectively.  I pressed some of their funeral flowers right back then, but had never had the space or time to make things in Grottsville.

Mum must have been acting terribly even for her standards the previous day because she actually apologised, admitting that she just "felt guilty" about my educational situation.  It didn't make me feel any less stressed or apprehensive about the future though.

February 2nd 2012

Another walk around Lammas Park.  We saw a mad woman attempting to teach her badly behaved, yapping King Charles Spaniel Marley to carry his lead by calmly talking to him about another man's dog as if he really understood what she was saying.  I didn't manage to get any more nice bird pictures though!

We wrapped up more eBay parcels.  Four of my five buyers still hadn't paid however!  Mum was back to her usual rude, nasty self wherever eBay was concerned.  I spent ages trying to very carefully wrap the Operation game that she had sold, only to be told that my wrapping up "was like kiddie craft time".  Well, she could always try packing up her own parcels once in a while!

I bought her a nice Elvis Presley troll for Mother's Day which she had been watching on eBay.  I wanted to keep it as a surprise though so told her that eBay had logged me out at the vital moment.  She fell for it too.  Maybe I'm a better actress than I give myself credit for being!

Her wonderful friend Jill snooped at me on Facebook for reasons best known to herself.  Any normal person would surely keep this information quiet, but Jill quite openly told Mum that she had gone looking.  She also told her that I was "asking for vintage clothing to sell on eBay".  WTH?  My Facebook employment information does say something about looking for vintage toys at car boot sale to sell on eBay, but I've never sold clothes in my life, much less asked other people to give them to me!  She also "didn't know that I was a voice actress.  I must be very talented."  It's strange how people feel the need to snoop, but can't even get their facts straight when they admit to doing so, eh?

The bargain batch of comics arrived.  I felt quite guilty when I noticed the stamp price of £12.79 (the seller had only charged me £4.00).  The lot included four issues I didn't have, six free gifts and a MLP pamphlet.  The rest would all be sold at a good profit.

Our ghost was back again.  Of course, it was approaching one year since we had moved into the house and had first heard it wandering around.  We heard exactly the same noises this time around; somebody opened the front door (not our front door, but one in the same place as it), walked up the hall, sighed and turned around.  All fell silent for about five minutes after that when Mum suddenly SCREAMED because she had heard a man's voice clearly say "Hello!" into her left ear.  Here's the strangest bit.  My mum was born deaf in that ear so she has never been able to hear ANYTHING with that ear anyway.  She said it was a very strange sensation.

I know many people don't believe in ghosts (I used to be one of them), but there was definitely something odd going on in this house.

February 3rd 2012

I went to Sparkle Dental Boutique to see both the hygienist and orthodontist.  One after the other.  Ouch.  What else can I say?  Just ouch.

They were too nosy.  The receptionist was asking me about my voice acting career (having read about my love of voice acting on my Youtube account) and the rest of them wouldn't stop pestering me about my education and work experience.  I'm sure they were just trying to be friendly, but it was the last thing I needed when I was already so stressed about my future!

I had some awful hooks fitted onto the braces, to which I was supposed to attach elastic bands.  This would supposedly move the teeth quicker.  But my God, the PAIN.  And the bands didn't last five minutes anyway.  I had to replace them twice over the course of the evening, following them pinging (and further injuring the insides of my cheeks) and flying out of my mouth.

More about my orthodontic treatment here:


Mum and I had our usual walk around Boston Manor Park on our way home.  Much to my surprise, the pond had completely frozen over (first time I ever remember it doing that in my lifetime!) so there were no ducks or geese to be seen.  We still fed the gulls and pigeons though.  It was fun to see them "skating" on the thick ice as they skidded around after stray pieces of bread!


David was at home when we got back.  He'd finished his job early so had come home for the afternoon.  He went out to post the eBay parcels, but didn't offer me the chance to go with him.

Mum rang the doctor for her blood test results.  The receptionist kindly told her that they were "abnormal" but that there was no doctor available to speak to her until Monday.  Fantastic.  Now go away and worry about that all weekend.

I was pleased to hear that Derpy Hooves was potentially being banned from future episodes of Friendship is Magic and even removed from the scene they'd already put her in.  Good.  It would do the bronies good to see that they couldn't get their own way all the time.

February 4th 2012

Mum and I went to Grottsville while David went to the bank.  He took us there so infrequently that we really flogged ourselves to death on the rare occasion that we did get there.  I helped Mum to clean and carry all of her crates of records out of the lounge, then I had space to re-sort my eBay sales goods.  I also sorted out and brought back another black bag full of MLP plushies.  Yes, there were more of the blighters!  These ones were mostly G3 So Soft Babies.

We returned to Woodberry briefly so that I could eat some filled pasta for dinner, then to McDonalds where my parents had fries and I had a Munchies McFlurry.  Yes, I think I must have thought that fries were too unhealthy to eat for dinner...then went and had a bloomin' ice cream for dessert anyway!

We saw Chris Sickton on the way back.  Mum and I both glowered at him as usual but he wasn't even phased and just grinned back at us!  You'd almost think he knew what the lawyer had written to us.

My teeth were in such terrible pain that I'd had to give in and remove the elastics before going to bed the previous night.  I figured it wouldn't do any harm to give myself a couple of nights to get over the general brace adjustment pain before putting myself through the additional agony.

Mum's Elvis troll arrived, but I just told her it was a parcel of ponies that I had ordered for myself.  Gosh, this lying...no, ACTING thing was becoming far too natural to me!

It was snowing heavily again for most of the day.  It looked very pretty while it was all thick and white on the ground, but I knew that it would be deadly by the following morning.  I swear I never make it through winter without slipping on ice and turning my ankle at least once!

Much to my disgust, Derpy Hooves was back on the Welovefine website.  I guess Hasbro didn't intend on erasing her after all.  Well, I suppose the bronies' opinions mattered far more than those of the people who were genuinely offended by her.

February 5th 2012

The snow was still thick but was thawing quickly.  I dreaded the upcoming icy, slippery phase...

It was today that the drains chose to finally give up.  The toilets wouldn't flush properly and the blockage was obviously so bad that the water was taking ages to drain away out of both them and the basins.  So it had to be done: David had to lift the manhole cover...


Don't worry, I shall spare you the dreadful photos of the "sludge" he was having to clear to allow the water to run through!  Even the thought of having to get near that stinky stuff to take photographic evidence for the potential court case still makes me gag.  It seems that not only had the builders thrown a load of stones and debris down the drains which had caused a blockage, but the actual pipe had been placed too high so that the water couldn't flow freely from our house into the sewers.  It's a wonder the sludge hadn't built up long before this point.

One of the brace brackets fell off of my teeth overnight.  It was a back one this time so I must have actually swallowed it. o_0  Obviously I wasn't the only one feeling the strain from the latest adjustment.  Even the metal and glue couldn't take much more of this.

We went to Grottsville to collect some more stuff.  Mum and I tried to time it so that Paul O'Grady would be on the radio (if we have to listen to David's loud radio, we might as well listen to a programme we actually like!) only to find that it had been cancelled due to the weather.  This meant that we got stuck listening to the football anyway.  Not only unpleasant, but dangerous, considering David felt the need to punch the air every time Manchester United scored a goal!

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

Thursday, 16 April 2015

The Unillustrated Blog

Yep, sadly there are no photos to accompany this one.  That makes it even more boring than usual.  Sorry, guys!

January 26th 2012

Mum and I went for a walk in Lammas Park.  She got overtired and accused me of "walking too fast".  Funny, because I was struggling to keep up with her!

I did very little with my day again.  I attempted to tidy up the hobby room but didn't get very far, and finally started work on a My Little Pony Rescue Home website but didn't get very far with that either!

Elizabeth's dad came to the door to collect the things she wanted to buy from me.  David went to the door.  Mum and I pretended we weren't at home to avoid the embarrassment of having to see him.  I was so ashamed to be living this way.  I wanted to be normal and have visitors.  The isolation was slowly killing me.

Mum's friend Jill badly upset her by telling her that "dead people are completely dead" so she would never see her parents again.  Everybody is entitled to their own religious beliefs, I just don't understand why people feel the need to use them to argue with and upset others.

January 27th 2012

Mum and I both went to see the doctor in Grottsville.  I couldn't believe how much it had changed in there since our last visit - they might as well have knocked the building down and started afresh!

Mum's appointment was first (that way she had an excuse to stay in with the doctor and make sure she heard every word I said to her...don't ask) so I got left sitting in the waiting room.  Yes, Mum still deserved HER privacy!  While I was sitting there, a mad old Indian lady (who I often used to see wandering around Tesco and arguing with the staff when we still lived in Grottsville) walked in and started waving her walking stick at me.  She accused me of "stealing her bread" and said that she "hated this very bad country".  Where do I find them, eh?

The doctor was a young, ignorant student who told Mum that her crippling stomach pains were probably caused by the mini pill she took and refused to give her a repeat prescription.  She apparently rudely told her that she had to have an endoscopy (which Mum was terrified of having) and made her feel as though she had stomach cancer.

As for me and my hair loss?  The doctor didn't have a list of reliable trichologists.  Mum somehow turned the subject round to my monthly issues (why does she have to interfere?) so the doctor prescribed expensive Tranexamic Acid tablets.  I didn't have the money for them and I certainly wouldn't let David see the prescription for tablets related to such a private issue.  I think Mum thought the doctor would just put me on birth control and resolve the issue that way but this young girl obviously didn't believe in using it for anything other than its intended purpose (which I obviously didn't need it for!)

She began writing up notes on what I'd told her about my hair loss.  As her parting shot, she asked Mum if she "had lost her hair at a young age".  Well, good to know my mum's hair looks so good, isn't it?!

We were waiting outside the surgery for over an hour before David came to collect us, yelling at us for not ringing him.  Uh...but we had rung him five times!  He then dropped us at the Grottsville house for the afternoon.  We both worked tirelessly but the house looked no better for it.  There was just too much junk over there.

Oh well, at least we had a nice vegetarian canneloni for dinner while we had access to the oven.  Mum felt really ill afterwards for some reason, but I felt better for it.  I wished we had an oven at Woodberry.

We stopped off at Asda on our way back in search of more blind bags but there were none.  David almost crashed the car on his way out of the car park because "the other car's lights were obscured by...stuff".  There was no "stuff" between him and the other car.  I was really worrying about his eyes and how safe he was to drive now.

January 28th 2012

We received a letter from our lawyer with the barrister's report.  Our chances of suing Sickton did not look very hopeful at all, but we still hadn't got the surveyor's input.

David wasted another day in the loft.  He eventually took me to Ealing Broadway at 2.30pm to post Mum's last few eBay parcels and go to the bank.  I went to buy some facial wipes in Savers and was disgusted by two ghastly men drinking McDonalds Cokes and talking loudly about a young girl of about 12 years old.  Admittedly she was wearing very tight leggings but that was no excuse for the rude jokes they were making about a minor.  I shot them a filthy look and they turned their attention on me.  "That's a nice one too!  Nice coat!"  Excuse me?  You sound like you're out hunting animals.  I do not approve of trapping and killing animals for their fur any more than I approve of male commoners such as yourselves talking about women as mere objects.  These days they would have got the sharp end of my tongue but I was not so brave back then.

David never got to the bank - they shut the door in his face because it was so late in the day.  Of course, he blamed Mum and I for delaying him even though it was HIM who had wasted so many hours up in the loft!

I picked up a copy of the Argos catalogue and was interested to note that the MLPs were now in the "young children's" category.  I bet the bronies loved that!

Just as they were loving the Derpy Hooves drama from the latest episode of FiM.  Tabitha St Germain (Derpy's voice actress) was receiving hate mail now from people offended by the voice.  Well, I was on their side because I know that having a lazy eye does not have any correlation to being brain damaged and could see how the "retarded" voice could be hurtful.  HOWEVER, I'm not so stupid as to blame a voice actress for doing her job.  Yes, they have a certain amount of creative license but they're given a description of the character and of the voice type that is required.  Blame the writers and the other morons who were continuously pandering to the bronies.

January 29th 2012

Horrid day.  David was really spiteful and resentful towards me due to having to pay for my keep.  He said that I should give up on ever getting a job or doing anything with my life and just go on benefits because I was going further and further past the point of redemption.  Well, maybe one day somebody would actually discuss my options with me now that they had prevented me getting education at a normal age?

Meanwhile, Mum just went on and on about making wills (stressing me out and reminding me that I would have nowhere to live after she died as this house rightfully belongs to Emma) and how she couldn't afford to take me on holiday.  Well, mother, if I HAD any money, I would be paying for my day to day food and other expenses, so I'm afraid holidays couldn't be my top priority right now.

We went to McDonalds with David complaining that he only had £5 to his name.  I notice that he still ordered large fries for himself though.  He also demanded four ketchup sachets for himself which I think is gross.  Who wants to soak their fries in that much sauce?!  Despite the big argument at the drive-thru, they failed to remember his fries and so he had to go in to complain.  Meanwhile, ours got cold.  This was after he'd manhandled ours to "count them".  I can't say I fancied them very much after all of that anyway!

I watched the latest episode of Friendship is Magic (about alcoholic beverages...again, was this really a topic for a children's show?)  Two of my favourite voice actors, Sam Vincent and Scott McNeil, guest starred in it though so I was glad I forced myself to listen to it.

I won a lot of 124 MLP comics and a book for £17.00.  Not too bad considering average sales on individual comics had been £2+ lately!

January 30th 2012

Mum and I had a - very slow - amble in Lammas Park.  We saw redwings and ring-necked parakeets which was nice, but I was never going to lose weight at this rate!

I was desperately trying to clear up the house but didn't get a lot done again.  I just sorted through a few MLP backcards and photographed the latest lot of sales goods really.

The lawyer told us that it was "our responsibility" to get the floors lifted so that the drains could be fixed as it was a health hazard.  Well, that's all well and good but we didn't have the money to do so.  That's why we were trying to get advice on how to procure the money out of our cowboy builders, remember?!

I was doing everything I could to save money following David's cruel comments of the previous few days.  I reused tissues as toilet paper and was trying to eat less (well, I did need to go on a diet!)  I had the most ridiculously thin slice of cheese in a sandwich for tea and was terrified that he'd notice even that much had been eaten.

I was severely concerned about my future - I needed a job!  But Mum just made stupid jokes and talked about her "cancer" and "kidney failure".  If only I'd had one friend to turn to for advice at that stage, I think I might have still been able to get my life on track.  But I was just so naive where life was concerned.

January 31st 2012

I walked up to South Ealing to have a look in the charity shops.  Of course, almost as soon as I left the house, it started to snow.  Just my luck.

I saw a version of So Soft Newborn Pinkie Pie that I hadn't got in one of the charity shops, but she had ink on her head so I left her there.

I had a bad day with Mum again.  All I wanted was to talk through my fears for the future and try to work out what could be done with the rest of my life but she only told me to "shut up, for god's sake, because she was ill".  She obsessively checked eBay for bids and complained when she only sold eight items.  Then she moaned at me for not getting those eight items wrapped up for her in time to ship the same day!

I only had bids on five items, but that was irrelevant.  She "needed the money more than me because hers was for holidays".  Uh...since when did holidays become more important than paying to feed and clothe yourself?!

She had another one of her bad pains after dinner and said that it was caused by "being wound up".  Really?  I thought it was cancer!

We went to Grottsville in the evening to collect some of my eBay stuff.  Mum was still in a bad mood with me.  I dared to speak as I got in the car and Mum snapped at me again to shut up.  "If you're going to talk about yourself, I'm not sitting next to you."  I went dead quiet, but she wasn't finished.  She started up again when David joined us in the car. "Make her suffer, David.  Make her wait until tomorrow to pick up her stuff."  Seriously?  So I'm supposed to wrap hers up immediately (since she was the only one allowed to keep her eBay stuff in her house) but wait to even collect mine.  I guess she hoped I'd get negative feedback.  Luckily, I'm not half as bothered by getting things shipped out asap as she is (eBay states you have three days and I always get stuff sent out within that time frame) so if she hoped to get a reaction out of me, she was disappointed.

Sorry, I did warn you that this was going to be a boring blog, didn't I?  Maybe there'll be something more interesting in the next one!

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

Tuesday, 14 April 2015

Defaced Walls, Cracked Pony Ears and Shopping Sprees!

January 21st 2012

Unbeknownst to me, the surveyor had also been handling my plush ponies whilst I hid in my cupboard the previous day.  I was rudely awakened by the noise of the entire plushie mountain collapsing where he hadn't replaced the ponies as he had found them.  Great.  Another chore for me.

Mum made out that it was an unnecessary chore (oh yeah, because I could really live with plush ponies stacked up behind my bedroom door so that I couldn't even open it!) and was just "dragging things out" and avoiding having my hair combed.  She was angry because she wanted me to help her with her eBay chores again.

We went to Grottsville while David posted the eBay parcels but Mum couldn't find anything to sell.  Why does she always leave finding sales items until the actual free listing day?  We brought back a few board games which I had to check through for her but none of them were complete anyway.

We didn't go anywhere else which annoyed me greatly, especially as I had given in and used the dry hair shampoo again.  Not that my hair looked great anyway, but what was the point of damaging it with the spray if we weren't even going anywhere?

The new episode of Friendship is Magic aired on TV and I was utterly disgusted to find that "Derpy Hooves" was given a speaking voice (with a terribly stereotypical retarded voice) and even named as "Derpy".  Why did Hasbro always let the bronies win, even at the risk of offending other people?

We were still remembering things that David had forgotten to mention to the surveyor.  But never mind, he said it was intentional because he "didn't want to get into those kinds of things, he just wanted his money back".  Well, he wasn't going to get his money back without a list of all the problems, was he?

My parents had a huge argument about how much Mum hated the extension spotlights and how cold it was in the open plan layout.  David did a rare bit of DIY, painting the side of the bath and the shelves in the bathroom.  And that was about it for the day really.

January 22nd 2012

Mum didn't bother to get David or I up and I didn't wake up myself until 10am.  Mum was in a fowl temper by that time, having worked herself up into a state about how badly the loft landing had been wallpapered.  Well, I wasn't in a great mood myself.  All of my plush ponies were on the floor AGAIN.  It was obviously not going to prove so easy to make them stable this time.

We didn't go anywhere all day except to McDonalds for yet more fries.  I felt so fat, miserable and ugly with no future ahead of me.  I just wanted to be a normal person with a normal education and normal career prospects.  Instead of that, I had no idea how I could ever even move out of my parents' house.  They were not at all supportive or helpful, of course, and just cut me dead if I attempted to discuss my options with them.

I listed some more stuff on eBay and stressed about my hair.  I decided to try singing for the first time in forever but didn't get very far because my voice kept cracking up and the neighbours began banging on the wall!  Gosh, did I really sound that bad?

Apparently so.  David was in Grottsville and Mum was asleep in the family history room but she woke up when she thought she heard "foxes fighting in the garden".  I'd been singing upstairs in David's office.  With the door shut.  Oh boy, I must sound awful...and loud to boot!

January 23rd 2012

Mum was awoken at 1am by David coming home from Grottsville.  She didn't manage to get back to sleep all night.  This didn't help her already frayed temper one bit and she was in a crazed mood by the morning.

I woke up to the sound of her thundering up the stairs and screaming down the phone at David about the terrible wallpapering on the loft landing (yes, she'd got a real fixation on it this week!)  David was frantically calling her back every time she put the phone down, trying to calm her down and stop her from doing anything drastic, but nobody can stop Mum and her pen!


*Sighs*  Well, it certainly needed to be rewallpapered now, and where was that money going to come from when so much else needed to be done to the house?!

I suffered another day of depression-induced lethargy and struggled to do even basic things.  I managed to get my laundry done, wrapped up a couple of eBay parcels and crammed my Petite Pony Carousel into the crate in my cupboard, but those were my only achievements for the day really.

I was having some nice response to my latest sales thread.  A pony collector in Australia wanted to buy four of my plush ponies - we just had to figure out a fair price.  Elizabeth, the pony collector who had come to visit us the year before when she had bought something, also wanted to buy some more stuff.  But, again, she wanted to pick the items up.  And there was no way she could come to the house in its current state.  My parents wouldn't even think of having visitors!  I felt so awkward about turning her and her dad away when they had been so friendly the previous year, but I guess I had no choice.

During one of my many kiddie ride Google searches, I came across this little curiosity being sold by "Philip Oakley Illuminations".


(I see the poor thing's still up for sale now, although I'm not really surprised at the exorbitant price of £1900!  If only vintage kiddie rides did have enough of a following to command such a high price!)

I had no idea who might have manufactured him, but recognised the style as being the same as that of my childhood favourite "Dobbin".


I was a little confused as to why such a small company would have made two different horse designs.  Maybe the company was not such a small one after all and it was just that not many of their rides had survived into my childhood era?

January 24th 2012

I received a response from Philip Oakley regarding his curious 1960s horse.  Unfortunately, the horse had no visible manufacturer written on it (darn), but he did ask me if I collected My Little Ponies because he could see through the top paint coat that the horse had once had "My Little Pony" written on its base.  How on Earth did he know about my MLPs?  Still not sure if I believe him about the horse having MLP written on it...I almost wish I had the nerve to walk into his show room and see it for myself!

I tried to show it to Mum but she didn't have the time or inclination to listen to me about "ride after ride after ride" (uh...excuse me, it's only ONE ride) because she wanted to lie on the floor and go to sleep!

David took me to Grottsville that evening to look for Elizabeth's stuff (I was still trying to arrange to meet her outside of the house).  He wanted to leave me there while he went to Tesco but I refused to let him because I had no drink or phone with me and there was a horrible gang of drunken thugs across the road as usual.  He got angry and threatened me that I "wouldn't be getting any ravioli then because they never have it at the other branch"!  Tough.  I was not being left alone in that area without so much as a phone to call the police should the need arise.

I couldn't find one of the things that Elizabeth wanted anyway so David shouted at me again for "not looking properly".  Well, he could always try helping me if he was in such a dreadful rush to leave!  But there was no way that he was going to help me tonight.  In fact, he was absolutely horrible to me when I arrived back at Woodberry laden down with boxes.  He just stood there cursing at me as I tried to carry everything indoors and managed to drop one little thing on the hall floor.

I had a bath and dared to wash my hair for once in my life, determined to turn over a new leaf following the hair cut.  Bad mistake.  I was still using that awful medicated anti-dandruff shampoo that the doctor had prescribed and it obviously had a bad effect on me (although I blamed the general hair washing back then, of course).  My hair was terribly sticky no matter how many times I rinsed it and more and more was falling out every time.  What a nightmare!  No wonder I kept putting off washing it usually.  It never occurred to me to try a different shampoo.

January 25th 2012

My hair was in a terrible way, awfully sticky and looking worse than ever.  Mum blamed me for trying to wash it, of course, convincing me further that the problem was with the washing process rather than the products used.

The day was totally wasted due to me not wanting to move in case I caused more hair to fall out.  Mum kept saying that she wanted to go for a walk so I sat around waiting to go with her, but she put it off until it got dark.  I finally put my Christmas ponies back in place on the pony shelves and also made the hard decision to take my Ponycon ponies out of their boxes so that they would fit on the shelves.  Sad, but I'm not really a MIB collector anyway.

We went to Asda that night.  Mum decided to stay in the car for some reason, then decided she didn't like being parked out there when a gang of "suspicious muslims" began wandering around, arguing amongst themselves and staring at her.  Why had we taken so long in the shop?

Well, I went on a bit of a spending spree!

I got some MLP skipping ropes and a funny little G3.5 fakie (I think she's made out of polystyrene covered in glitter? o_0) for £2 each...


A new bag for £12 (well, the handle had finally fallen off of my old bag so I suppose that was a necessary purchase!)...


And a whole ton of G4 blind bag ponies for £1.97 each!  This was the first time I'd seen Blind Bags in the UK so I was quite excited.


I hoped to sell some of the pony stuff to pay for the bits I did choose to keep so hopefully it wouldn't end up being such a massive spend as it seemed.  However, I discovered that somebody had already found (and listed for sale) a load of Blind Bags on the MLP Arena that very same morning.

Next to Grottsville in search of the Newborn Twins' Bassinet that Elizabeth wanted to buy, but I still couldn't find it.  I was devastated to stumble across one of my favourite MLP fakies though and discover that her ear had cracked due to the cold temperature over there.


It's hard to see in the picture but she has a crack right across the front of her left ear.

I remember buying this fakie at Pickets Lock Toy Fair in October 1998, the day that I consider I officially began "collecting" MLPs (as opposed to just having a few that I played with).  I got seven ponies from Mr and Mrs Wilcocks - toy dealers who sold me most of my ponies back in those early collecting days.  They cost me £3.  Sadly, I can't remember who they all were (I think Snowflake and Sea Shell were two of them, possibly Cotton Candy...), but I know this girl was amongst them.  It was only when I got her home that I realised she wasn't a real My Little Pony.

Here she is with her friend who my sister got in a charity shop for me when I was 11.


Finally, we stopped at Tesco on the way back so that David could collect my prescription...for yet more of that awful shampoo.  Why didn't I realise that stuff was bad for me?  I didn't even have dandruff, for God's sake!

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

"I Was Almost Discovered Inside The Cupboard!" and Other Stories

January 16th 2012

Mum and I walked up to the South Ealing charity shops again.  I really went in search of a doll I'd seen there which I'd now found out came with the fakie pony I'd bought, but the doll was nowhere to be seen.

I did, however, find this Ponyville Scootaloo for 20p.


I saw a G3 Silly Sunshine in MAPF too, but I left her there even though she was priced at only 50p.  How times change!

When I got back, I continued with the scanning job.  Today I started scanning my old scrapbooks, many of which contained postcards bought on day trips and weekends away during my childhood.  Even in those days, I used to specifically look for cards depicting kiddie rides, even if the images were so tiny that you needed a "ridenifying glass" (as I used to call it as a child!) to see them.

Who can spot the rides in these cards?


Having scanned these postcards, I was in the mood for further ride hunting.  I found the website for the East Anglia Film Archives and wasted several hours scanning films for rides on there.  I did love watching the old films anyway though, especially an old tourism video featuring lawnmowers apparently (although I'm ashamed to say that I now have no recollection of this!)

Despite my hair concerns, David had been buying The Sun newspaper each day and collecting the tokens for the cheap holidays.  However, if we were going to book to go on one, tonight was the night and it didn't get done.  Mum went to sleep and David started yelling at me about whether I wanted to go to Devon or Tenby.  Actually I'd wanted to go to either Norfolk, Yorkshire or Lincolnshire but I couldn't make any decisions with Mum asleep anyway.  "Well, don't blame me when you don't go anywhere," David snarled and retreated back to the loft.

January 17th 2012

I had felt relatively calm about my hair since having it cut...then Mum kindly borrowed my computer to write to her friend Jill and "accidentally" left her email on the computer when she handed it back.  In the email she said that my hair "looked like a bird's nest" and "you could see even more scalp than before".  Well, gee thanks.  I don't believe for a second that it was accidental.  She wanted me to regret going against her wishes to get it cut.  Of course, I immediately felt self conscious and went into a deep depression again.

I finished scanning my childhood scrapbooks.  I found a few nice surprises inside.  Not only the kiddie ride postcards, but some souvenirs from the Care Bears stage show I went to see and a few tickets and leaflets from Thorpe Park which I thought had been thrown away.

I found a page on Facebook written by a couple of men who worked in the Humber Pastimes Amusement Arcade in Cleethorpes.  I emailed them and asked if the old Edwin Hall kiddie rides that used to be at the arcade were still there and was pleasantly surprised when they took the time to write back and tell me that yes, three of the rides were still at the arcade!  However, the arcade was only open at weekends.  They told me this right after my parents had finally booked our Sun Break in Yorkshire...for Monday to Friday!

The furthest I went that day was to Grottsville to collect yet more eBay stuff.  Mum openly admitted that she was too tired to come but went mad when David said in a patronising tone, "Come on, you can make it!"  When will he learn how to talk to her?

January 18th 2012

We went to see Crazy For You at the Novello Theatre.  I get to see so few musicals that this was a big event for me and I spent most of the day preparing for it; bathing, dressing up and making myself feel as pretty and comfortable as was physically possible with my hair looking the way it did.

I then panicked as I thought I didn't have enough dry hair shampoo (yes, I was already spraying that awful stuff on my hair following my hair cut) so David went to buy some during his lunch break.  As it turned out, I did have enough anyway.  Not that it really made my hair look much better.

Mum was not best pleased with me for wasting the day on "prettifying" because it meant that some of her eBay parcels didn't get wrapped up.

I wasn't very impressed by the show anyway sadly, considering how much I'd looked forward to it.  Perhaps I just wasn't in the mood since I had another migraine and stomach ache and kept going dizzy.  Also, a load of drunk people staggered (yes, literally staggered) into the auditorium from the bar AFTER the show had already started and made us stand up for them to pass.  I was not best pleased and made my displeasure known by loudly telling them that perhaps they should drag themselves away from the bar BEFORE the show started next time!

It was also awfully hot in the theatre and I overheated badly.  In fact, I didn't even wear my coat on the way back to the car because I was still steaming!

The singing and dancing was pretty good but the acting and phony American accents were atrocious.  I love the music from both Girl Crazy and Crazy For You but am always annoyed at how "Could You Use Me?" was shortened for the latter.  Oh well, it was nice to get out and see a show on the West End anyway.

January 19th 2012

The day was spent on wrapping eBay parcels.  Since Mum had moaned at me for not finishing wrapping hers the day before, I thought we'd better start with hers today.  Then, when it came time to pack mine up, she got up and started writing a letter!  Nice of her to help me after her complaints!

David came in unexpectedly at 3pm and announced that he was going into central London to get some photographs of his latest job put onto his USB drive.  After all, he'd "rather be on the train than in the office".  Really?  Well, that's strange, considering he chose to go back to the office until gone 10pm!

When he finally came home, we had a drive to the ever exciting Grottsville so that he could check the house and put a rubbish bag out for the dustmen.  We didn't even get out of the car.  Mind you, I was still suffering from my unexplained weakness and actually kept falling asleep so it was probably just as well.

Remember the weirdo eBay buyer, Wacky, who bid on my Care Bears and then wanted a 20% discount?  Well, she won them.  Not that she knew she'd won them.  She wrote to me to ask if she'd won them or not and how to pay "just one p&p".  Surprisingly, she did actually pay when I re-sent her invoice though.  I'm still stunned to this day!

We had filled pasta for dinner and I got the most awful indigestion pain afterwards again.  There was obviously something wrong with my stomach but I had no idea what.  Any more than I knew how I'd managed to bruise both knees, but they were absolutely black and blue!

I'd been saving the last piece of the very last yule log of the year for Mum and I to have as a treat after finishing wrapping up the parcels but when I went to the cupboard, it was bare.  Yep, you guessed it.  David had eaten the special piece of yule log.  The stupid thing is that he doesn't even particularly like it.  Oh well, Christmas comes earlier and earlier each year.  They'd probably be back in the shops in a couple of months!

January 20th 2012

A surveyor came to the house at 1pm.  Yes, we still had plans to sue our crooked architect and cowboy builders at that point and needed a list of all the faults in the house.  I was feeling self conscious about my hair again and didn't want to see anyone.  David told me that I could "just stay in my room and it wouldn't make any difference if someone just popped their head around the door".  Well, it would make a difference to ME.  So I decided to hide.  Where could I go though?  Ah, I know, I'll hide inside the cupboard, I thought!


God, I was so awfully fat that I'm surprised I even fitted in there!

Well, they didn't just pop their heads around the door, did they?  In trundled David, the surveyor and an electrician who spent AGES testing the faulty plug point at the bottom of my bed (even though I'd told David it now worked so they couldn't find anything wrong with it, of course), moving my desk out for reasons best known to themselves (and knocking my alarm clock under the radiator - it's never worked properly since).  Then they started conversing in front of my pony shelves.

I had been talking to my friend on Skype.  Now I very quietly typed o.n.e. l.e.t.t.e.r. a.t. a. t.i.m.e. to let him know that they were in my room and I couldn't speak.  He tried his very hardest to make me laugh and give myself away by rewriting lyrics to the songs in Crazy For You.  But I managed to bite my tongue and keep quiet.  The laptop had other ideas and kept buzzing and whirring noisily.  The wire trailing out from underneath the cupboard door was probably a puzzle to anybody outside too.

Anyway, David went downstairs with the electrician for some reason, leaving the surveyor unattended in my bedroom.  I held my breath and gripped the door as best I could with my fingernails (not that it would have held it shut if somebody had tried to open it).  Meanwhile, I watched the surveyor through the small gap between the door hinges and the cupboard.  He picked up Baby Lickety Split and examined her.  WTH?  Who picks up other people's possessions when working in their house anyway?  He attempted to put her back and knocked all of the First Tooth Baby Ponies on the floor.  Looking worried, he hastily tried to pick the ponies up off of the floor and put them back where he'd found them but he had no idea of the order (or even what was the front or back of a horse apparently, considering two of them had their bottoms to the front of the shelf when I came out of my hiding space!) and the more he tried the worse it got.  Now ANOTHER row of baby ponies had come bouncing off of the shelf at his feet.  I was torn between leaping out of the cupboard and screaming at him for touching my beloved ponies and trying not to laugh at the look of horror on his face.

He gave up trying to put the ponies back and turned to leave, obviously thinking it was better to make it look as though they had fallen down naturally as a result of vibrations caused by people wandering around in the room rather than him touching my precious collection and trying to put them back.

Just then, the computer whirred particularly loudly.  I heard him stop and turn back towards the cupboard.  Oh no, I thought.  He walked over to the cupboard and, I presume, pressed his ear against it.  I didn't even dare to breathe.  Yes, it would have been bad to have to see the men when I felt so self conscious about my hair, but it would be even worse for him to discover at this point that I'd been sitting in the cupboard the whole time!

The computer whirred again...and I heard the surveyor turn and RUN out of the room.  Oh well, I can't help the fact that my room's haunted, can I?!

The plumbing was apparently in a very bad way.  Well, we knew there was a problem with it, didn't we?  We just didn't realise how serious it was.  Basically, Sickton had overloaded one pipe with several toilets and sinks so all of the waste was gathering in the same place.  There was also a problem further along the pipe which meant that the waste couldn't move through.

There were so many problems with the house that we realised several things hadn't even been mentioned to the men once they were gone.  What can you do?  The house was practically falling apart.

My hair was driving me absolutely crazy (these blogs are making me feel horrible - looking back, my hair looked MUCH better than it does now and yet now I've just learnt to live with it!)  I refused to even go to Ealing Broadway while David posted Mum's parcels.  He wouldn't post mine because he claimed he couldn't carry them all at once and couldn't afford to post mine anyway.  I did offer him the money in advance but it did no good.  I think he misunderstood my depression as laziness and was punishing me for not going with him.

The furthest I went was to McDonalds for yet more fries.  They were gross, especially as there was nowhere to park and we ended up driving all the way to Boston Manor to eat what was by then very mildly warm food.  Yuck.

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

Monday, 13 April 2015

Belated Christmas Gifts, Cheeky Ebayers and Haircuts

January 11th 2012

David didn't get up to collect my mysterious parcel before work as he had promised to do.  He then promised to drop us in Ealing at lunch time so that I could collect it myself and walk home through the parks, but that didn't work either as Mum was refusing to eat breakfast in case she got one of her pains...and yet she wouldn't go out until she'd eaten!

Hence, another day was wasted indoors stressing about my thinning hair and feeling helpless and ugly.  Mum kept stressing me out by talking about holidays and asking me where I wanted to go for my birthday when I was just struggling day to day to keep forcing myself to go out in public.  I had no idea what I would look like by May!  Instead of comforting me, Mum just yelled at me for "holding her back, even though I would have been happy to b****r off on my own for my 21st".  Well, yeah, I had always planned to go to Vancouver alone for my 21st birthday but that was mainly because Mum had never wanted to go there so why would I expect her to go to my dream location with me?  Anyway, it was irrelevant now because I wasn't going there with my orthodontic braces and thinning hair.

I scanned some more of my coin operated ride catalogue collection while listening to the new Bucky O'Hare DVD.  I hated being so exposed in David's office with the curtains open though - I ended up shouting at Chris Sickton as he walked past and getting really upset by all the thick haired women going about their business.  I was convinced that they were all staring at me.  Talk about paranoid!

I ran into some more unpleasant websites on the computer history whilst scanning too.  All violence and dominance over women.  Three guesses who'd been looking at those.  No wonder I've grown up hating and avoiding men the way I do.

I suddenly had a lot of interest on eBay.  Several questions and four bids, all on my Grand Champions and Care Bears.  Mind you, it wasn't the right kind of interest.  One of the cheeky so-and-sos wanted a 20% discount on the Care Bears (having already bid at the full price!)

My depression and anxiety issues were getting beyond a joke.  A combination of lack of education, thinning hair, seemingly having no way to achieve my dreams or go to Canada and being alone and unwanted forever more was really getting to me.  Why couldn't I be a normal person and work through my issues one at a time?

We went to McDonalds for yet more fattening fries that evening.  David's driving was really concerning me now.  He was so busy stuffing his face with wine gums that he drove past two "road closed" signs before he finally heard Mum and I shouting at him and turned the car around!

January 12th 2012

David took a day off work using the excuse that he was "going to his aunt's funeral" and then wasted the day anyway.  He hung a mirror on the wall and went to the post office to collect my parcel but that was about the extent of his day.

Ah, my parcel.  I know you're all dying to know what was inside.  Well, it was a lovely surprise belated Christmas gift from my friend Steph.


So many cute things!  I was especially in love with the hanging hook and the adorable TokiDoki unicorn.  Now I wanted to collect all the Unicornos!  She still has pride of place on a shelf in my bedroom...but alas, I have never been able to afford any friends for her.

It was the week of the cheeky eBayer apparently.  One of the bidders on my Grand Champions asked if she could use my auction photos for her website.  Fair enough.  Sure, I said.  But this wasn't good enough.  She now asked me if I had any other Grand Champions that I would be willing to photograph for the website.

Don't ask me why but I thought I'd help her out and dug my childhood herd out to photograph.  Well, it's probably good to have photographic evidence of all of my collections anyway just in case anything ever happened to them and I was trying to claim on the house insurance.  However, I thoroughly regret sending her the pictures.  Not only did she not thank me for sending them, she withdrew her bids as soon as she'd received them!

Oh well, I haven't even seen my horses since then because they are all in storage so it's nice to have pictures to look at anyway.  I won't bore you with all of the photos but here are a couple of my favourite Grand Champions.


I often wished I'd had the money and space to collect more of these.  My Little Pony was all well and good for the "fantasy dream world" side of things, but nothing beat Grand Champions for a child who longed to have more to do with real life horses.  Grooming and tacking up my Grand Champions was the next best thing.

I was still distressed about my hair loss and the fact that I had no way of getting out of the country.  Seriously?  Maybe if I'd sat down and thought calmly about my options, I could have achieved a lot more.  Instead of that, I just continued to repeat the same cycle day after day.

I went to Grottsville to collect the Care Bears that I'd sold on eBay but that was the extent of my view of the outside world for the day.

Mum was in an absolutely horrid mood with me, accusing me of "speaking to her like dirt" even though I was trying to be nice.  I might have been snappy due to my stress levels but no more than she was herself!

January 13th 2012

Another day wasted on my anxiety issues.  I'm getting sick of reading about the same old thing day after day myself so I'm sorry that you are also having to endure this nonsense, dear reader.

In my defense, I didn't feel like I could start any job that would take any length of time as David was at a meeting in central London today and had said that he would be popping in to see us at lunchtime.  Hence, I figured I would be disturbed by my parents' arguing if I started any of my major clearing up chores etc.

As it happened, he didn't come in until 2pm so, by the time he had left again, it was almost dark.

Mum and I walked to the South Ealing charity shops.  Having done no tidying up, I came home £1.50 lighter with two more pieces of clutter for the house!


Well, they were adorable pieces of clutter, you must admit!  I collect plush guinea pigs and Patches was one TY piggy that I never saw in the shops.  I think the fakie is a Simba one?  Whatever she is, she reminded me of a strange kind of deformed G1/G3 MLP cross and I couldn't leave her behind.

My hair was driving me so mad that I had decided to take the plunge and get it cut to shoulder length.  It seemed a waste to pay if it was all going to fall out anyway, but I just couldn't stand the rats' tails hanging down my back any more.  Mum was not keen on me getting rid of my "lovely long hair", of course.  But who wants to hang on to something that's already dead?

Something was seriously weird about eBay this week.  Mum had 1078 watchers on one of her items!  She made me double the price on it "just in case"...but I'm pretty sure it was a computer glitch.

I scanned some more kiddie ride flyers and researched even more rides online.  Somebody had listed a "Battlestar Galactcar" Spaceship ride on eBay...sadly, as with so many other rides, I lost the photos on my old computer.

January 14th 2012

Just as I'd feared, Mum allowed me to oversleep so as to prevent me getting my hair cut.

Judging by my blog notes, this was the most boring day of 2012 so far.  I wasted the entire day crying and stressing about the usual things; spending the rest of my life single and alone, never getting out of my parents' house, having no education or hair...  All the usual boring topics.

Of course, it just happened to be *that* time of the month which was making my mood ten times worse.  I was in terrible pain with a migraine and stomach ache and kept going dizzy which made me even less able to cope with my mental health problems.

I put some bubblewrap up at David's office window to act as a temporary "net curtain", allowing myself some privacy to finish scanning my kiddie ride flyer collection.

The highlight of my day was a trip to McDonalds again for fries and a Munchies McFlurry.  It's no wonder that I was so fat and unhealthy, is it?

January 15th 2012

Mum argued about me getting my hair cut again, but I eventually won the argument and got to Supercuts in Hounslow at 11am.  Luckily, "my" hairdresser (i.e. the woman who cut my hair before and who I had learnt to trust) was there and the queue wasn't too long.

Mind you, she filled me with absolute positivity about my future.  I asked her if she knew of any decent trichologists and she told me that she didn't believe in them.  If I wanted my hair to grow back, I would just have to pray to God!

Mum was upset about my short hair but I actually found that I preferred it at this length.  I only wished that it was thick again.  Ha ha, very funny, Desiree of the Past.  It looks great compared to how it looks these days.  However, I can't believe how BIG I was in these photos!  Well, of course I can believe that I was that big after all that junk food...I just can't believe that I was seemingly unaware of my weight!  (Which reminds me that I NEED to get a grip on exercising now or I'm going to end up like this again!)


After Hounslow, we came back to Woodberry while David went to the loo for hours.  Then we headed out to Family Bargains where we managed to find sixteen boxes of Weetaflakes.  Oh, did I forget to mention that my favourite cereal had been discontinued?  The lentil and vegetable casserole that we used to buy from Holland and Barrett had been discontinued too.  I think Mum and I put a curse on the few foods that we like because they always seem to get discontinued.  Maybe we just have strange tastes!

I randomly saw an original G3 Rainbow Dash (one of the promotional packs with a free "A Charming Birthday" VHS tape!) priced at £3.99 in Family Bargains.  I wonder where that had been hiding for eight years?

We passed by the FARA Kids Charity Shop on our way back.  As usual, I strained to look through the window as we drove past and saw what I believed to be the Crystal Rainbow Castle Playset.  I was proved to be right...


I don't know why I bought it really.  It set me back £10 and only came with the two fakies pictured (no MLPs or accessories).  And I had absolutely nowhere to keep it.  In fact, it has spent most of the time since I got it getting dirty, discoloured and ruined in our bathroom.  I suppose I just couldn't resist it after the excitement of seeing it through the window!

I loved my new hair so much that I kept tossing my head, and managed to bang my head on a man's arm in FARA.  Embarrassing to say the least!

We had YET MORE fattening fries and Munchies McFlurries at McDonalds on the way home.  I wonder if I can ever fully reverse the effects of that unhealthy period of my life?!

I was still suffering from a terrible migraine and could hardly see through my eyes.  Maybe that explained my bad purchase decisions since I couldn't think straight, you know?  Or maybe I'm just making excuses for myself!

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx