Tuesday, 14 April 2015

"I Was Almost Discovered Inside The Cupboard!" and Other Stories

January 16th 2012

Mum and I walked up to the South Ealing charity shops again.  I really went in search of a doll I'd seen there which I'd now found out came with the fakie pony I'd bought, but the doll was nowhere to be seen.

I did, however, find this Ponyville Scootaloo for 20p.


I saw a G3 Silly Sunshine in MAPF too, but I left her there even though she was priced at only 50p.  How times change!

When I got back, I continued with the scanning job.  Today I started scanning my old scrapbooks, many of which contained postcards bought on day trips and weekends away during my childhood.  Even in those days, I used to specifically look for cards depicting kiddie rides, even if the images were so tiny that you needed a "ridenifying glass" (as I used to call it as a child!) to see them.

Who can spot the rides in these cards?


Having scanned these postcards, I was in the mood for further ride hunting.  I found the website for the East Anglia Film Archives and wasted several hours scanning films for rides on there.  I did love watching the old films anyway though, especially an old tourism video featuring lawnmowers apparently (although I'm ashamed to say that I now have no recollection of this!)

Despite my hair concerns, David had been buying The Sun newspaper each day and collecting the tokens for the cheap holidays.  However, if we were going to book to go on one, tonight was the night and it didn't get done.  Mum went to sleep and David started yelling at me about whether I wanted to go to Devon or Tenby.  Actually I'd wanted to go to either Norfolk, Yorkshire or Lincolnshire but I couldn't make any decisions with Mum asleep anyway.  "Well, don't blame me when you don't go anywhere," David snarled and retreated back to the loft.

January 17th 2012

I had felt relatively calm about my hair since having it cut...then Mum kindly borrowed my computer to write to her friend Jill and "accidentally" left her email on the computer when she handed it back.  In the email she said that my hair "looked like a bird's nest" and "you could see even more scalp than before".  Well, gee thanks.  I don't believe for a second that it was accidental.  She wanted me to regret going against her wishes to get it cut.  Of course, I immediately felt self conscious and went into a deep depression again.

I finished scanning my childhood scrapbooks.  I found a few nice surprises inside.  Not only the kiddie ride postcards, but some souvenirs from the Care Bears stage show I went to see and a few tickets and leaflets from Thorpe Park which I thought had been thrown away.

I found a page on Facebook written by a couple of men who worked in the Humber Pastimes Amusement Arcade in Cleethorpes.  I emailed them and asked if the old Edwin Hall kiddie rides that used to be at the arcade were still there and was pleasantly surprised when they took the time to write back and tell me that yes, three of the rides were still at the arcade!  However, the arcade was only open at weekends.  They told me this right after my parents had finally booked our Sun Break in Yorkshire...for Monday to Friday!

The furthest I went that day was to Grottsville to collect yet more eBay stuff.  Mum openly admitted that she was too tired to come but went mad when David said in a patronising tone, "Come on, you can make it!"  When will he learn how to talk to her?

January 18th 2012

We went to see Crazy For You at the Novello Theatre.  I get to see so few musicals that this was a big event for me and I spent most of the day preparing for it; bathing, dressing up and making myself feel as pretty and comfortable as was physically possible with my hair looking the way it did.

I then panicked as I thought I didn't have enough dry hair shampoo (yes, I was already spraying that awful stuff on my hair following my hair cut) so David went to buy some during his lunch break.  As it turned out, I did have enough anyway.  Not that it really made my hair look much better.

Mum was not best pleased with me for wasting the day on "prettifying" because it meant that some of her eBay parcels didn't get wrapped up.

I wasn't very impressed by the show anyway sadly, considering how much I'd looked forward to it.  Perhaps I just wasn't in the mood since I had another migraine and stomach ache and kept going dizzy.  Also, a load of drunk people staggered (yes, literally staggered) into the auditorium from the bar AFTER the show had already started and made us stand up for them to pass.  I was not best pleased and made my displeasure known by loudly telling them that perhaps they should drag themselves away from the bar BEFORE the show started next time!

It was also awfully hot in the theatre and I overheated badly.  In fact, I didn't even wear my coat on the way back to the car because I was still steaming!

The singing and dancing was pretty good but the acting and phony American accents were atrocious.  I love the music from both Girl Crazy and Crazy For You but am always annoyed at how "Could You Use Me?" was shortened for the latter.  Oh well, it was nice to get out and see a show on the West End anyway.

January 19th 2012

The day was spent on wrapping eBay parcels.  Since Mum had moaned at me for not finishing wrapping hers the day before, I thought we'd better start with hers today.  Then, when it came time to pack mine up, she got up and started writing a letter!  Nice of her to help me after her complaints!

David came in unexpectedly at 3pm and announced that he was going into central London to get some photographs of his latest job put onto his USB drive.  After all, he'd "rather be on the train than in the office".  Really?  Well, that's strange, considering he chose to go back to the office until gone 10pm!

When he finally came home, we had a drive to the ever exciting Grottsville so that he could check the house and put a rubbish bag out for the dustmen.  We didn't even get out of the car.  Mind you, I was still suffering from my unexplained weakness and actually kept falling asleep so it was probably just as well.

Remember the weirdo eBay buyer, Wacky, who bid on my Care Bears and then wanted a 20% discount?  Well, she won them.  Not that she knew she'd won them.  She wrote to me to ask if she'd won them or not and how to pay "just one p&p".  Surprisingly, she did actually pay when I re-sent her invoice though.  I'm still stunned to this day!

We had filled pasta for dinner and I got the most awful indigestion pain afterwards again.  There was obviously something wrong with my stomach but I had no idea what.  Any more than I knew how I'd managed to bruise both knees, but they were absolutely black and blue!

I'd been saving the last piece of the very last yule log of the year for Mum and I to have as a treat after finishing wrapping up the parcels but when I went to the cupboard, it was bare.  Yep, you guessed it.  David had eaten the special piece of yule log.  The stupid thing is that he doesn't even particularly like it.  Oh well, Christmas comes earlier and earlier each year.  They'd probably be back in the shops in a couple of months!

January 20th 2012

A surveyor came to the house at 1pm.  Yes, we still had plans to sue our crooked architect and cowboy builders at that point and needed a list of all the faults in the house.  I was feeling self conscious about my hair again and didn't want to see anyone.  David told me that I could "just stay in my room and it wouldn't make any difference if someone just popped their head around the door".  Well, it would make a difference to ME.  So I decided to hide.  Where could I go though?  Ah, I know, I'll hide inside the cupboard, I thought!


God, I was so awfully fat that I'm surprised I even fitted in there!

Well, they didn't just pop their heads around the door, did they?  In trundled David, the surveyor and an electrician who spent AGES testing the faulty plug point at the bottom of my bed (even though I'd told David it now worked so they couldn't find anything wrong with it, of course), moving my desk out for reasons best known to themselves (and knocking my alarm clock under the radiator - it's never worked properly since).  Then they started conversing in front of my pony shelves.

I had been talking to my friend on Skype.  Now I very quietly typed o.n.e. l.e.t.t.e.r. a.t. a. t.i.m.e. to let him know that they were in my room and I couldn't speak.  He tried his very hardest to make me laugh and give myself away by rewriting lyrics to the songs in Crazy For You.  But I managed to bite my tongue and keep quiet.  The laptop had other ideas and kept buzzing and whirring noisily.  The wire trailing out from underneath the cupboard door was probably a puzzle to anybody outside too.

Anyway, David went downstairs with the electrician for some reason, leaving the surveyor unattended in my bedroom.  I held my breath and gripped the door as best I could with my fingernails (not that it would have held it shut if somebody had tried to open it).  Meanwhile, I watched the surveyor through the small gap between the door hinges and the cupboard.  He picked up Baby Lickety Split and examined her.  WTH?  Who picks up other people's possessions when working in their house anyway?  He attempted to put her back and knocked all of the First Tooth Baby Ponies on the floor.  Looking worried, he hastily tried to pick the ponies up off of the floor and put them back where he'd found them but he had no idea of the order (or even what was the front or back of a horse apparently, considering two of them had their bottoms to the front of the shelf when I came out of my hiding space!) and the more he tried the worse it got.  Now ANOTHER row of baby ponies had come bouncing off of the shelf at his feet.  I was torn between leaping out of the cupboard and screaming at him for touching my beloved ponies and trying not to laugh at the look of horror on his face.

He gave up trying to put the ponies back and turned to leave, obviously thinking it was better to make it look as though they had fallen down naturally as a result of vibrations caused by people wandering around in the room rather than him touching my precious collection and trying to put them back.

Just then, the computer whirred particularly loudly.  I heard him stop and turn back towards the cupboard.  Oh no, I thought.  He walked over to the cupboard and, I presume, pressed his ear against it.  I didn't even dare to breathe.  Yes, it would have been bad to have to see the men when I felt so self conscious about my hair, but it would be even worse for him to discover at this point that I'd been sitting in the cupboard the whole time!

The computer whirred again...and I heard the surveyor turn and RUN out of the room.  Oh well, I can't help the fact that my room's haunted, can I?!

The plumbing was apparently in a very bad way.  Well, we knew there was a problem with it, didn't we?  We just didn't realise how serious it was.  Basically, Sickton had overloaded one pipe with several toilets and sinks so all of the waste was gathering in the same place.  There was also a problem further along the pipe which meant that the waste couldn't move through.

There were so many problems with the house that we realised several things hadn't even been mentioned to the men once they were gone.  What can you do?  The house was practically falling apart.

My hair was driving me absolutely crazy (these blogs are making me feel horrible - looking back, my hair looked MUCH better than it does now and yet now I've just learnt to live with it!)  I refused to even go to Ealing Broadway while David posted Mum's parcels.  He wouldn't post mine because he claimed he couldn't carry them all at once and couldn't afford to post mine anyway.  I did offer him the money in advance but it did no good.  I think he misunderstood my depression as laziness and was punishing me for not going with him.

The furthest I went was to McDonalds for yet more fries.  They were gross, especially as there was nowhere to park and we ended up driving all the way to Boston Manor to eat what was by then very mildly warm food.  Yuck.

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

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