Friday, 10 April 2015

Too Much Junk Food, Rude Bronies and Christmas Tales

All written in a semi-conscious state in the early hours of the morning so don't be too hard on me for my errors!

December 21st 2011

The ottomans were delivered.  I loved my pink one - I could finally sit up to my desk without dragging a hard chair in from another room, plus I had somewhere to store my paperwork!

Mum was not so pleased with the blue one she had bought with the intention of using it to store her photographs and so it was relegated to the front garden until David came home and quietly brought it inside while Mum was sleeping!

David went to see my grandparents' old neighbours to exchange Christmas gifts (ours wrapped in carrier bags, of course!) and sent out a plant pot stand to Mum's old friend.  The stand had been an unwanted Christmas gift from one of the before mentioned neighbours the year before.  It's nice to recycle!

He took me to Grottsville to collect my MLP table.  Sadly, I damaged this by standing some ponies on it years ago. Apparently the plastic of the G3 ponies hooves had a bad effect on the paintwork of the table and lifted some of the colour off of it.  I intended on displaying my Ponyville collection on it now though and I had so many playsets that you'd never see the damage anyway!

We discovered that Emma had sent our Christmas cards to Grottsville.  Rather embarrassing considering Mum had been moaning at her that she hadn't sent any!  But then, considering she hadn't told Emma that we had moved house (due to the state of the place meaning we couldn't have visitors anyway), it's unsurprising that she would have sent them to that address really.

We went to McDonalds at Ironbridge for yet more fries.  My parents were excited to discover that it was open 24 hours on Christmas Day so we would be able to have junk food even then!  They messed up our order and gave us two large fries and one medium (instead of two medium and one large) again...but David still didn't believe that his was large enough!

I spent the evening decorating my bedroom and making little reindeer ornaments from a kit that I'd been given years earlier.  The reindeer hadn't been completed at the time that I took these photos but there will probably be more photos of them in the coming days...

December 22nd 2011

David had the afternoon off work but did very little with the extra time.  We still ended up going to Tesco late that night.  Mind you, it was unpleasant enough even at that time so I dread to think what it might have been like earlier.  People were practically fighting to the death over tins of biscuits and the last few yule logs.  David somehow managed to grab another box of biscuits and get away unharmed...just.  Got to love the season of good cheer, eh?

I spent most of my day arranging Ponyville ponies on my MLP table.  Ha, who am I kidding?  Arranging them isn't the right word.  It was more like cramming as many as I could on the table without any of them falling off of it.  I'd badly underestimated how many I had!

My hair was getting worse.  My scalp was greasy and sore.  In fact, a spot had come up on the back of my neck which was making it hurt to even turn my head..  Still I refused to wash it, convinced that this would make the rest of my hair fall out.

I was severely depressed about everything really.  I attempted to finish making the reindeer ornaments and cut the pipecleaners for their scarves too short.  I burst into tears.  I mean, seriously?  Yes, it was sad after so many years of wanting to make them and having nowhere to do it in Grottsville, but it wasn't a heartbreaking tragedy!

The local paper came with a wonderful story inside about the "Perivale Vampire" who had murdered somebody just around the corner from our house in Grottsville.  Charming.  Mind you, he'd previously murdered somebody in 2003.  Perhaps if he'd been imprisoned for life, his second victim would still be alive now.

The brony fandom were whining yet again.  This time Hasbro had got the Pony Archive website taken down. For those who don't know, Pony Archive was some kind of streaming site where you could access all of the Friendship is Magic episodes free of charge.  Well, considering FiM is the property of Hasbro, I don't think the bronies really had a leg to stand on.  Still, they posted this wonderfully mature message on their home page (please excuse the bad language):

Oh, sure, let's banish Hasbro...because then there'll really be more episodes of FiM for us to play out our sick fantasies to.  Never mind, Hasbro is such a small part of the MLP franchise anyway.  Everybody knows that Lauren Faust was the creator of My Little Pony...

If you stayed on the page too long, this rude message turned into gay porn.  I'm not quite sure what the bronies were trying to prove by posting certainly didn't make them look any better!

Mum was very highly strung for some reason and kept getting upset about everything David said...even when he didn't mean any offence.  For instance, she'd put all of the gifts for my sister's family in large Lakeland carrier bags.  David made a joke that the Lakeland bags might be useful for something and he'd ask my sister if he could have them back.  So Mum decided that the gifts must be moved to different bags...and tore their wrapping paper in the process!

Then there was the shelving unit which she had ordered on eBay.  It had arrived that day and she wanted to put it in the front room with some of her smaller china ornaments on it.  David said that he didn't like it in there (jokingly again), but she took him seriously and took the cabinet out into the extension instead!

My braces were causing a nuisance again.  The wire was digging into my gums at the back again.  The gums were already inflamed where I couldn't clean my teeth properly due to the bracket being broken so it was really painful.  I rang the orthodontist to complain (hoping to get a same day appointment) and they brought my appointment forward...a whole hour from 1pm to noon!

Oh, and just to make my day complete, I had a complaint from an eBay buyer to say that their Disney bean bag Easter Winnie the Pooh hadn't arrived.  Looking through her feedback, I noticed that a lot of the things she bought mysteriously got "lost in the post".  Either she had a really dodgy postal service in her area or a tongue that told nothing but lies.  I think the latter was more likely...

December 23rd 2011

I went to the orthodontist to finally get my braces fixed.  I was embarrassed when Mum started laughing loudly at the dentist there for wearing cropped leggings and fur lined boots.  Mind you, the people there were really starting to get on my nerves.  The orthodontist made some really offensive comments as she was trying to chat to me and give a "friendly" service.  The fact that I was a vegetarian somehow came up (I think she was asking what we would have for Christmas dinner or something) and she asked me if I "ever felt like trying meat".  I have this strange thing called a moral belief where I don't think it's right to raise and kill a living creature for our consumption.  Would you ask a Muslim if they'd ever felt like trying to be Catholic?

Surprisingly, my teeth didn't hurt too badly after the appointment, but the braces felt dodgy like they would break again at any minute.  They certainly didn't feel as if they were fixed as well as they had been the previous time.

Mum and I went to Boston Manor Park on our way back.  The ducks were very hungry for once (I suppose everybody else had forgotten them in their happy little Christmas preparations!), although the gulls and magpies took most of our bread to be honest.  One greedy Canada goose flew over the fence and began chasing us, so we had to change our route and run back the other way!

A poor little hungry squirrel kept coming up to us and begging too, but he didn't want our bread and we didn't have any nuts (or anything else) to offer him.  I did feel bad.

Peter (the squirrel in our back garden) was very curious about the fox who seemed to have taken up residence out there.  We were rather worried about Peter because he kept coming very close to the fox and we felt sure the fox would attack him. In fact, we heard some awful squeaking and gasping up on the roof of our extension and I thought the end had come sooner than even we had feared...but there was nothing out there when I looked.

David slept the afternoon and evening away again and didn't even deliver the gifts to Emma's house as he had promised to do.  He was finally awoken by me moaning about my teeth and the fear of my braces breaking which he answered simply that if my braces broke over Christmas, I would have to go to casualty.  Oh sure, they really have an orthodontist working 24 hours a day at casualty!

Well, he did help me to fill in a missing item form regarding the beanie that my eBay buyer claimed had never arrived.  But, even then, he managed to knock down a whole pile of canned food in the kitchen cupboard (he can never do anything without eating continuously!), causing Mum to wake up and scream loudly!

He went to exchange gifts with my grandparents' other old neighbours that evening too.  (Isn't it funny how we're friendlier with my grandparents' neighbours even years after they passed away than we've ever been with any of our own?)  He was gone for ages.  When he returned, he informed us that "Pauline was in her dressing gown so he had to go inside to talk to her".  Uh...did it not occur to him that perhaps she was in her dressing gown because she was waiting to go to bed?

Anyway, they gave us a gift bag full of gifts and I was pretty sure I spotted a G1 pony inside when David handed the bag over to me.  It looked like Majesty.

December 24th 2011

Christmas Eve.  It didn't feel like it to me though, lonely and isolated as ever.

We went to Ealing Broadway.  It was not as crowded as I thought it would be.  In fact, we were able to walk straight up to the post office desk to post the missing item form!  Mind you, I suppose it was a little late for people to be posting Christmas cards and gifts at that stage so that might explain it!

I fished a Happy Meal toy out of a puddle on the pavement, thinking it would make an extra stocking filler type present for one of my nephews or nieces.  What?  Every little helps, right?

As we were leaving the car park, a man tried to alert David to the fact that one of his tyres was flat.  David was so absorbed in listening to the radio that he didn't even see or hear the other bloke.  Is he really safe to drive when he's so unaware of what's going on around him?

Afterwards, we headed to Grottsville to check the house (David very reluctantly) via Tesco to pick up his prescription.  Mum and I sat in the car outside Tesco because we just couldn't face the crowds.  David, however, actually went BACK there that evening to do some Christmas shopping for me...looking for sweets and a little pony named Blossom Forth (who had been in the shops months earlier) of all things!

Mum was bad tempered when she was awoken by the sound of David coming through the front door after his little shopping trip, and told him not to take the bags of gifts to Emma's house.  He listened to her, of course, so my poor nephews and nieces wouldn't even get their presents in time for Christmas day this year.

My reindeer ornaments were still causing problems.  I'd managed to find more pipecleaners to make new scarves for them but now their antlers wouldn't stick!  Ah, the serious problems I went through back in those days!

My hair loss was still bothering me too.  I spent ages trying to fit all of my Ponyville ponies on the MLP table and was very distressed when stray hairs kept falling out on top of the display.

December 25th 2011

Another sad, lonely Christmas.  I was lucky to have some nice gifts which I wasn't expecting, but Christmas to me is about spending the day with family and friends rather than receiving presents.  And it's hard to get into the Christmas spirit with a mum who hates the holidays and a dad who spends his life in the loft reading!

Oh well, let the usual dull bragging commence.

£5 W H Smith gift card from Mum's old friend...

Notebooks from Grandparents' old neighbours...

Ponies and heart-shaped boxes from grandparents' other old neighbours...

Ah, so it wasn't Majesty in the bag!  I wonder how Glory (who was never sold in the UK) ended up in a charity shop in Bognor?

And various stuff from my parents...

We went to McDonalds for our Christmas dinner - a packet of medium fries.  The workers there were in the Christmas spirit all right too, and kept slamming the drive-thru window shut!  Perhaps they were just cold...or maybe they resented working on Christmas day?  Who knows?

The house gave us all a lovely Christmas gift.  Our heating packed up late on the night of Christmas Eve.  Of course, I didn't realise that the heating had packed up until after I'd used the last of the hot water having a bath.  So none of us had any hot water for anything on Christmas Day...I was not popular for using the last of it, even though I'd been oblivious to the fact that there was no more!

We went to Grottsville to collect some old duvet covers for Mum as it was so bitterly cold.  She didn't want to come home and decided to stay there to watch the Downton Abbey Christmas Special...then she fell asleep before it started anyway!

In the end, we just went for a drive around the streets to avoid coming back to the cold house.  There was an interesting interview with Doris Day on the radio (during which they played a lot of her old music) so it was a nice little drive actually.

I finally finished my Ponyville "display" (aka the "cram so many ponies on a kiddies' table that it might collapse" exhibition):

Emma didn't contact us all day which was very strange, especially as they hadn't been given their Christmas gifts and we needed to know a suitable time to deliver them belatedly...

Best wishes,
DesirĂ©e  xxx

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