Thursday, 5 May 2016

Tales of an Indecisive Sufferer of Paranoia!

July 6th 2012

I was really tired.  I kept falling asleep all day and felt really ill.  Oh well, the reason for that was probably that I hadn't got much sleep the night before due to the sound of something walking around on the extension roof outside my bedroom window.  Mum didn't like me to close the bathroom curtains in case they got creased (!) but I'd actually disobeyed her that night so that whatever it was couldn't see in!  (Yes, call me paranoid but I had visions of a weird peeping tom looking through the bathroom window at me on the loo)

Peter the Squirrel would usually be waiting on the extension roof for me in the morning, hoping for food, but he wasn't there for once.  Interestingly, once the curtains were opened, he appeared the next time I went in the bathroom.  I guess closed curtains mean no food!

I went for a lonely walk in Lammas Park.  I didn't really like walking around on my own.  I got spooked when a strange man suddenly broke into a trot and started running towards me so I left the park and walked along the pavements outside.  It seemed slightly safer somehow!  Boy, I really was paranoid that day.

Mum was still in a bad way with stomach pains.  Her trip to the hospital hadn't done her any good at all.  In fact, today she was vomiting as well...seemingly due to the painkillers they'd given her at A&E.  She rang NHS Direct again as she was obviously going downhill but they weren't interested due to her having been seen by professionals the previous day.

Emma was in a bad mood with me for not ringing her to let her know that Mum was at the hospital.  Well, Mum had written to her and made it sound much more serious than it actually was, hadn't she?  Of course, Mum was also the one who had told me not to ring Emma and let her know as there was no point in worrying her until she knew that there was anything to worry about!

I uploaded a few sales photos and re-organised some of my ponies on their shelves but did little else due to depression and lethargy.  I was scared about my future again.  I knew I should have signed up at Hammersmith College for the Access Course by now but nobody ever wanted to discuss it with me and I still felt it was a bad idea to tie myself down for at least four years studying a subject that didn't interest me, all the time getting too old to pursue my musical theatre dream.

July 7th 2012

David and I walked to the Co-Op to buy some dry biscuits for Mum (the only thing she felt well enough to eat), then walked back around the block.  I was feeling horribly fat and knew I'd never lose weight like this, but I felt too disillusioned by life to target something as stupid as my belly.  My thin hair was feeling worse than ever too.

Of course, I was still panicking about Access Courses which might be why I was worrying about my appearance as a displacement to the real issue.  Business studies or media studies, that was the question.  Of course, neither of them really interested me.  Media seemed slightly better than business but Mum assured me that business was the only way to get a job.  Oh well, it was probably too late to get on either course this year now anyway.

I spent the day listing on eBay and reporting a Youtube user for uploading one of my videos.  Oh, and reading about Tabitha St. Germain, one of my favourite voice actresses, who would apparently be going to Comic Con.  She was working on a new TV series (which I guessed from the description was based on the old Jem series from the 1980s) along with another of my favourite voice actresses, Kelly Sheridan.

Emma was still in a bad mood with me for not letting her know about Mum.  I wonder if this was actually the reason that Mum had told me not to tell her, knowing it would cause further aggro between my sister and I.

July 8th 2012

Another beautiful day wasted online.  This time reading about the My Little Pony Fair in the USA which had apparently been overrun with bronies trying to get their hands on a Derpy Hooves figurine.  However, the Fair only had 200 of the limited edition figurines to sell so they quickly ran out and the disappointed bronies got angry, insulting previous generation ponies and their fans.  God, what an immature lot of morons to be arguing over kids' toys at their age!

I listed more stuff on eBay and attracted more rude eBayers' attention.  One woman wanted me to end a rare Sylvanian Families item for a buy it now price that was cheaper than my starting bid.  (I'm pleased to say I didn't do so and ended up selling the item at auction for quite a lot more than she had offered!)  I was doing quite well really and already had a hand full of bids shortly after listing the items.

The hairclips that I'd bought at H&M had turned out not to be such a good buy though.  The pony figures on them were all falling off, so although I was selling them as "new", they were arriving broken and causing a lot of complaints and demands for refunds.

Despite heavy rain, I went for another brisk walk in Lammas Park.  Unfortunately, I got scared by a group of nasty teenagers again and was forced to walk out in the street instead of through the beautiful park.  My goodness, I was a bag of nerves all right.  I was home in less than 25 minutes.  Still, I guess after all those years of being locked up in Grottsville, normality was going to take a while longer to get used to.

David spent his entire day in the loo.  What a waste,

July 9th 2012

Mum was feeling a little better so walked to the Co-Op with me to buy a loaf of bread.  Then we walked back via the South Ealing charity shops.

Emma seemed to have had a complete turn around and was now sticking up for me, saying that business studies were boring and she suggested that I should study either media or even drama!  Ironically, I had now lost heart in the media course following reading up about it the previous night.  The fact was the only thing I really wanted to study was musical theatre and I was painfully aware that I was getting far too old to do so.  But my mum would never approve it until I'd done something more "sensible".  *Sighs*

David had a job interview in Wimbledon.  Just as he was on his way out, he received a phone call to say he didn't get the last job he'd been interviewed for.  Great timing for raising the spirit, eh?

I'd bought myself a factory error Dolly Mix pony Glory on eBay (she had Sundance's head) - it was nice to add her to my herd considering I already had a Gusty with Sundance's head.  You can always tell when I was depressed in my past though, because I'd go on a toy buying spree.  Kind of sad really when you think of all the useful things on which that money could have been spent.

An interesting ride had been listed on eBay - a horse named Bronco.  At the time, I was convinced that this was an early version of RG Mitchell's Rocky, but the seller insisted that the footplates had "RAM" written on them rather than "RGM".


Of course, I now know that this ride was made by Ride-a-Matic.  I probably shouldn't say this but, sorry, I just don't buy that they coincidentally named themselves "RAM" and used such a similar footplate style at a time when RG Mitchell was so successful!  Especially as many of their rides loosely resembled RG Mitchell designs...

Anyway, this ride was actually originally a Zebra called Zebu.  Whoever repainted him as Bronco did a really good job in my opinion!

On the subject of ride history research, I'd found somebody who had scanned all of the Coin Slot newspapers from the 1960s-90s and was selling digital copies of them.  £25 per year or £600 for the lot.  I really wanted to take the plunge and buy them as I'd wanted to read those newspapers for so long.  However, having not seen a copy to know what the quality was like, I didn't want to risk that much money really...

July 10th 2012

I had my second driving lesson.  I took on the terrifying tasks of changing gears and facing mini roundabouts.  The lesson got off to a bad start when I changed into fourth gear instead of second...but thankfully I quickly corrected myself.  I was terrified of bumping into another car throughout the entire lesson and, when I got out of the car, managed to hit the horn as a final insult!  Oh well, I managed to drive for forty minutes without crashing so I just decided to consider that an achievement on its own!

Margaret said that I had good steering and judgement considering it was only my second time ever in the driver's seat...but I think she was just being kind!

David and I walked to South Ealing post office to ship a parcel of G2 MLP merchandise and stopped at the Co-Op on the way back.  David gave me the Coke and milk to carry (in the same bag as each other!) so I could hardly get home.  He, by comparison, had "a quick journey", walking miles ahead of me with a much lighter bag.  Nice to have such gentlemen in my family!

He was surprisingly busy for his standards.  His emails had been hacked (clearly an automated thing), but he thought it was personal and was outraged.  Then he repainted the openings between the extension and the kitchen/family history room.  This time Mum complained that the paintwork was "bumpy" and stuck post-it notes all over them pointing out the bad work!

He then cut down a print of a family photograph for a frame she'd wanted to hang in the family history room for a long time.  She took one look at it, took it out of the frame, screwed it up and threw it away!  Then she complained that nothing had been done all day.  I agree that David's lazy most of the time, but it doesn't exactly encourage him to do anything when she throws his work back in his face all the time, does it?

I wrote and asked for more details about the Coin Slot newspaper scans but heard nothing back.  How could they expect to sell something for that amount of money if they didn't even bother to write back?

Best wishes,
Desirée  xxx

Wednesday, 4 May 2016

Dedicated To My Latest Stalker

Well, since I seem to have picked up yet another stalker who just loves to read my blogs when he's not harassing me in real life, I guess I should probably give him something new to read.  Let's just hope your girlfriend doesn't check your computer history, huh?  Although I kind of hope she does...creeps who would consider two timing their girlfriends deserve to be found out.  I am NOT the kind of girl who would even consider entering into anything with taken guys.  I have more respect for myself if nothing else.  So you're out of luck, freak.

July 1st 2012

Another day wasted waiting for David who was "too ill" to come out of the bathroom until 2.30pm.  When he finally did come downstairs, he rudely told me to "shut my mouth" so I didn't take him up on his only offer of an outing...which was only a boring trip to Tesco anyway.

The argument that had brought this about was triggered by me trying to get myself a drink and knocking over a load of empty Coke bottles that David had left on the countertop.  I had complained, both about these and the unwashed butter knives that he kept leaving everywhere.  He said that we should wash up his knives for him.  "Why not?  That's the problem with this family.  I hang your laundry up for you!"  Uh...I assure you that you don't hang ANY of my laundry up, David.  I did my own laundry while he was out of work and made sure it was neatly packed away before he came home!

He wound us both up so much that Mum was still shouting "at him" after he'd already left for Grottsville that evening.  "You didn't put the bin out!  Don't worry, we'll do it ourselves!"  When I asked her why she was shouting at someone who wasn't even in the house and couldn't hear her, she said that it "made her feel better"!

I sold my childhood Goosebumps game via eBay...only to have the buyer contact me and say that she was unable to pay through eBay.  Still being a bit of an eBay novice back then, I sent her my Paypal address, not realising this was against eBay rules and left me unprotected should something go wrong.  Not to worry though, she couldn't pay that way either as she had no Paypal account!  How did she think she was going to pay for an eBay purchase then?!

I only did one constructive thing all day really, which was to change my bed linen!  I had intended to pull out my bed (and all the stuff under it) in order to properly hoover and clean behind it but, due to David wasting most of the day, it didn't get done again.

July 2nd 2012

The main hall at Bronycon apparently went up in flames.  I think it was eventually blamed on a light fixture exploding, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if one of the idiot attendees did it themselves for a bit of fun...or maybe they hoped there would be some G1 fans there who would "die in a fire" as they liked to keep wishing on us!

We had an exciting outing to the storage depot where Mum picked up the gifts she'd been saving for Emma's children to go through and "see if there was anything she could sell on eBay"!

Next we went to Greenford.  Mum stayed in the car while David and I bought shoes and walked around the (useless) charity shops.  I also finally got a photo of the Jolly Roger train ride.


We headed to Matalan after that.  Mum was still in search of a multi-aperture picture frame.  While browsing the available frames, I spotted this sample picture in one of them.


A Cogan giraffe!  It looks like it's on some kind of carousel with a Cogan squirrel alongside it.  David asked if he should steal the photo for my collection.  Well, I'm sure it wouldn't have been missed (it's not like it was part of the frame itself) but I do have some morals!

We popped next door to Home Bargains where I found three Newborn Cuties ponies for £4.99 each.


 I would have spent further money on some cute Twilight Ponies too but I knew that I had nowhere to display them.  I had so much money back in those days, it seems.  While we were in there, Mum developed one of her crippling stomach pains.  She picked up the wrong cans of soup in her rush to get outside to "get some air".  David was angry with me for not getting some carrier bags opened and prepared for him at the checkout but I had to go outside with Mum.  It wasn't my choice, I assure you.  It was really cold out there so I had to sit in the car for warmth anyway.

Mum had to take Gaviscon but had forgotten to bring a spoon with her so just had to drink it straight from the bottle.  I was actually concerned that she might have taken an overdose as she seemed to be guzzling it for ages!  Her pain went off ten minutes later though so presumably it was caused by a form of indigestion.

Lastly, Mum and I went to Grottsville while David went to Brent Cross to buy socks.  He also got some MLP bits and bobs at H&M (including extras to sell on eBay).  I have him well trained!


He went to Hoover Tesco on his way back.  Well, he can never resist that shop for some reason.  He was in a terrible mood when he eventually got back to Grottsville, desperate to rush us back to Woodberry.  He didn't want us to take anything back with us to sort through and in fact I actually ended up leaving the Newborn Cuties and post office receipts behind due to him hastening us away so fast.

On a more positive note, my first ever driving lesson had been officially booked for the following Thursday.  I was so nervous but excited about doing something towards normality at the same time.

July 3rd 2012

David refused to go out until 2pm.  He then took me to Bowes Road where I had hoped to film the "Running Horse", a favourite old Edward Savill ride from my childhood.  Alas, we discovered that "Mr Red" (as his owners told me he was called) no longer worked and had only been left outside the shop as the local children loved him so much.  Very sad.  I wish I'd filmed him on our last visit there now but I was scared the owners would tell me off.  They seemed to be really happy that somebody had travelled halfway across London to see their horse though.  "Thank you for coming and God bless you!" they called as we walked away.


On the way back, we stopped at Grottsville where David stayed in the bathroom until 7pm!  When I finally got him away from there, we went to the storage depot to dump some stuff and then to McDonalds to get some fries for Mum and a Twix McFlurry for myself.

Back on the subject of kiddie rides, I was always trying to think of other places that I might find old pictures or films of them.  Mum suddenly remembered an old episode of Eastenders from the 80s which was set in Southend.  She remembered it in great detail.  We were able to find it online and there were no rides in it, but I found it hilarious that she could remember something like that when she's never even been a fan of the programme and must have just half seen it once thirty years previously when her mum was watching it on TV!

My friend Steph sent me a lovely surprise belated birthday gift.  My mum was sitting by the front door at the time sorting through some boxes of stuff when the parcel came through the letterbox and hit her on the head!  It then bounced off of her head and fell into the box of stuff she was going through!


It was a lovely surprise for someone who never really gets gifts.  So thanks, Steph!

July 4th 2012

Our last day with the latest hire car.


Still David didn't get up or leave the house until 2pm.  We returned to Matalan to look for hanging hooks for Mum's plate collection, but David couldn't work out how to use them so we left them there.  He seemed to be a bit spaced out in general.  He took the cardboard packaging corner off of a picture frame for seemingly no reason at all and refused to move out of the way of a woman who was trying to pass him with her shopping trolley.

Next to Uxbridge where he dropped Mum and I before going to park the car.  We were looking at curtain tie backs when he caught up with us.  I had some in my hand at the time and Mum said that I liked them, so David seized them out of my hand and went and bought them.  Actually, I hated them...as did Mum.  They were very Indian in design and would look terribly out of place in our old fashioned English decor.  Mum went mad and ordered David to return them at once but he refused out of embarrassment.

We went to H&M to get some more MLP plasters to sell on eBay.  The lift wasn't working so we had to come all the way out of the shop to get upstairs.  Mum was tired and bad tempered.  Her mood worsened when we went to the charity shop and found that the cruets she'd fallen in love with on her previous visit had sold out.

I was sad to see how much Uxbridge had changed.  Most of the shops had closed down and the family-run magazine stand that had been there since I was a tiny child had become yet another Pukka Pies shop.  The lovely little juvenile roundabout wasn't even in the street anymore, replaced by a European food market.  There was a nice 1940s shop though that sold all kinds of retro stuff from clothes to music.

We headed to Hobbycraft after that but they had no plate hangers at all, so we quickly moved onto Grottsville where David went in the loo again, leaving us stranded there for hours.  We did have a nice vegetarian cottage pie, then Mum started watching the tennis on TV.  Oh well, at least we finally got the desk cleaned up and photographed for eBay!

We went to Hoover Tesco on the way back to get some ice cream for Mum (who stayed in the car as she was overtired and her knee was hurting again).  David went to pay while I looked at the ponies and fell in love with one called Diamond Rose.  I hadn't bought any ponies for ages - heck, I didn't even like G4s! - so why did I want this one so much?  Just as well it was too late to buy it really.

Mum had developed a stomach ache by the time we got back to the car so we had to go back to Grottsville again.  Was the bathroom there really such a magnet to my parents?

David dumped me out of the car too when we got there, then drove off to get petrol.  I panicked, realising that there were a lot of valuables from Grottsville on the back seat which would be left unattended in the car while he paid at the garage but there wasn't much I could do about it at that point.

Despite all the delays and detours, David somehow managed to get the car back to the rental company before 9pm.  He even stopped at Hoover Tesco on his way back to Grottsville by bus in order to pick up Diamond Rose for me which I thought was kind.

I was terrified of my first driving lesson the following day.  I knew I'd crash...I could just feel it!

July 5th 2012

I kept getting a really bad shooting pain through my body.  Mum had her bad indigestion/stomach pain and kept pacing up and down.  Not a very good or calm start to the day!

But my first driving lesson was booked and paid for so there wasn't much I could do about it.  I just had to take a painkiller and leave Mum pacing the floor and saying that she would have to ring an ambulance if the pain got much worse.

The lesson didn't go as badly as it could have done.  My instructor was a lovely lady called Margaret.  She drove me to a nice quiet street and got me to drive around the block a few times.  Okay, I jammed the brakes on a bit hard a couple of times and allowed the engine to cut out at one point but doesn't everybody do that their first time?

When I got home, Mum and I went for a little walk around the block to the charity shops in South Ealing road which helped to calm my nerves a little.  It didn't help her stomach pain though so she rang NHS Direct when we got home.  Sure enough, they sent an ambulance for her and she walked off arm in arm with a "nice young man".

David kept ringing us constantly.  I was upstairs in the bathroom and Mum was having an ECG but he couldn't seem to accept that we were unavailable.  He was at Grottsville, of course, so eventually went to the hospital by bus to meet her.  Then poor Mum had to battle back on two buses with both her stomach pain and bad knee.  She was tired out when she got home and it didn't seem to have done her any good anyway.  They'd told her not to eat milk, salt or bread in case it was a food allergy...then they'd given her a cheese sandwich!

I had possibly my strangest eBay question yet.  And I quote:

"He generally does this by picking up little bits of ready-made philosophy here and there as he goes along, and sticking them on to his mind to protect it from harsh contacts, just as a caddis-worm sticks irrelevant fragments of rubbish on to his body as armour against his foes. We tend more especially to stick such pièces of philosophy over spots that life has made tender or susceptible

Geraldine Coster, Psycho-analysis for normal people, Oxford University Press, 1928, p.96."

Um, pardon?  This was a question regarding a children's book about ponds and the wildlife that lives in them.  WTH?  Only in my crazy world!

And, on that note, I shall leave all my little stalkers to go and stalk elsewhere.

Best wishes,
Desirée xxx